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Depression Community - How do you actually feel today?

Laura December 2nd, 2014

Let us know in 1-3 sentences. Post every day!

4943
CleliaZo October 16th, 2015

It's been a long day of human interaction and right now, all I feel is... inadequate. Once again I feel miserable and sad. I guess I'll really never amount to anything.

Monarda October 16th, 2015

I feel like I have to hide everything. I don't trust anyone so why risk judgement?

8 replies
purpleAcai8038 October 16th, 2015

I feel the same. I hide my depression from everyone and have done for years. I've found about 2 people that I trust and make time for. They're really nice about it and have been through it themselves x

2 replies
Celaeno October 18th, 2015

@purpleAcai8038, I'm glad that you have two of great, kind persons who are supporting you all the way. It makes coping with depression easier.

You deserve all of the kindness. Lots of love for today!

jenniferlobsinger77 October 19th, 2015

@purpleAcai8038 i hide my depression from peopile that dont get it i have a lot of crying i need to do down deep

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Celaeno October 18th, 2015

@Monarda, it must be difficult for you to feel you must conceal your true self from the world. Is is the issues regarding your family or friends or both? If you don't mind me asking, that is ^^;

Sending you best wishes! I hope you are feeling better today.

2 replies
Monarda October 18th, 2015

@Celaeno Thank you! I am feeling better :) They aren't affecting anyone because no one really knows, and I try my best to hide it well.

1 reply
LostIt1809 October 19th, 2015

@Monarda hey! I think that hiding is the easiest thing to do, but the easiest is not always the best. Sending love and best wishes.

-Lucy

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jenniferlobsinger77 October 19th, 2015

@Monarda i hate being juged am very depressied i fill very sick deep down in side

1 reply
Monarda October 19th, 2015

@jenniferlobsinger77 I understand how you feel, I really do. In fact, we have that in common! I can really empathize with you, and the fact that you feel so much pain and you don't want to be judged for it, is heartbreaking. Is there a counselor you can talk to? It's their literal job to listen and they've seen it all, so you'll be okay :)

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LittleBudgie October 16th, 2015

I feel drained and exhausted. I feel like sleeping for a few years. I feel so lonely it hurts.

1 reply
Celaeno October 18th, 2015

@LittleBudgie, wonderful, I really hope you feel better today. I hope you rest and restore a bit of your energy, as much as it's possible while having depression.

Sending you lots of hugs!

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thatinnermargo October 16th, 2015

I feel like this is a joke. Why can't I talk to anyone in here? :(

8 replies
easyWater4109 October 16th, 2015

@thatinnermargo

are you waiting for a listener? It sometimes takes a while...frustrating.

4 replies
thatinnermargo October 16th, 2015

Yup, for 2 hours already.

3 replies
easyWater4109 October 16th, 2015

@thatinnermargo

sorry, I waited a long while a few days ago and gave up. Are you okay-I'm not a listener just a member. If u need anything I'm here.

2 replies
thatinnermargo October 16th, 2015

So are you saying they never really help your here?

1 reply
easyWater4109 October 16th, 2015

@thatinnermargo

no, they do help and it's amazing....but some nights it's just flooded and they can't keep up.

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Celaeno October 18th, 2015

@thatinnermargo, sorry that you had to wait for so long. It can be really frustrating to just keep hanging and waiting and hoping...

Sometimes there is really a huge demand for a kind ear to listen to our heartaches and that's why sometimes members are waiting so long. But it is an exception, not a rule for this community.

If you ever find waiting for so long and you feel an urgent need to chat, come to support rooms - there are kind members in here, and sometimes also listeners who might have some free time to chat with you. You just need to ask nicely and see who will answer. I hope it helps you, lovely.

We really are trying to support each other's here and when you feel abandoned, that is absolutely far from our goal. All of us are here, because we care and we want to help others in pain. We care about you.

Lots of love, wonderful!

Monarda October 18th, 2015

@thatinnermargo I hope you are feeling a bit better today! I know the wait for a listener is long but you can fight through that! :) I also wish you the best of luck in the future <3 Take care

LostIt1809 October 19th, 2015

@thatinnermargo Believe me this place really helps, but it looks like tonight there's no one in here... Just keep hope!

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PenelopePear October 16th, 2015

I want to stay in bed all day. I've skipped wrk this week. The only reason I left today was so my housemate wouldn't think I was such a lazy ass. I just drove a while, sat in a park, also sat in my car . . . Came across this site!

1 reply
Celaeno October 18th, 2015

So let me welcome you, lovely @PenelopePear! Glad you've joined us. If you need any help with getting around our community, let me know. I'd be glad to help you.

Sending you all the best! Take a good care of yourself, wonderful!

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mjiyn2010 October 16th, 2015

Not good today. I don't care about anything anymore. I don't even want to try to get help anymore. I just want to disappear.

8 replies
MrJimmy October 16th, 2015

I feel the same

1 reply
Celaeno October 18th, 2015

@MrJimmy, how are you feeling today, lovely?

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Celaeno October 18th, 2015

@mjiyn2010, I feel the same sometimes. It would be so much easier to dissolve into thin air than to deal with all of these issues and problems. Ehh, we need to endure nevertheless.

Sending you all of my strength!

4 replies
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LostIt1809 October 19th, 2015

@mjiyn2010 feeling the same, just smile, try remember something nice smiling about it and keep on doing it for a while it helps...

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greeneyes91 October 16th, 2015

Same as everyday. Sick, really low and no one to talk to.

3 replies
intuitiveCoconut6821 October 16th, 2015

Hello how are you ?

1 reply
Celaeno October 18th, 2015

It is so nice that you want to start a conversation, you're so kind, lovely @intuitiveCoconut6821. How are you doing yourself today? ^^;

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Celaeno October 18th, 2015

@greeneyes91, and how are you feeling today? A bit better? A Bit worse? Just the same?

Either way, we are here for you. let us know how are you doing. Lots of love!

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Mwa7 October 16th, 2015

I can't talk to anyone... I can't open up and express my feelings to anyone about anything at all... I feel like i dont belong here... I want to live but im not happy im depressed... Im too young to be like this... I dont get it

1 reply
Celaeno October 18th, 2015

@Mwa7, I'm sorry that you feel so low, lovely. Would you mind telling me how are you doing today? I really hope this day was a bit kinder to you. You don't deserve all of this struggling.

*hugs*

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discreetAcres6234 October 16th, 2015

I'm feeling so much in this current moment. And none if it is bad either.

I feel beautiful. I feel strong. I may be crying right now but it's because I feel so beautiful in this moment and I'm overwhelmed by this feeling that I've never experienced before

2 replies
Celaeno October 18th, 2015

I don't know how are you feeling now, @discreetAcres6234, but this post is wonderful, beaming with light and happiness and hope, that I want to hanging over my bed. It's so beautiful ^^;

*sheds a little tear of joy*

1 reply
discreetAcres6234 October 18th, 2015

@Celaeno thank you :) I couldn't believe how full of light I was in this moment. I keep expecting the feeling to go away but it hasn't yet. It has faded slightly but I'm still feeling positive about myself and it's pretty good to feel that way

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poisontongue October 17th, 2015

I guess I should be glad I got a sense of what "good" felt like. Because I've never felt it in the past and will never feel it again.

I don't have the strength for change. I just have the strength for going on. Never rising, never falling. And I'm just stuck watching everyone else progress. Watching everyone else form their connections. Here I am, stuck with the truth of my own neediness, figuring it's only a matter of time before the very rare, exceedingly few connections will be severed from me, forgetting me, realizing that I'm boring and have nothing to offer. Then I can say I'm not wanted again. As it is now, I still can't even pretend that one person should, and nothing's going to change with my life.

God, I'm such a hack too.

Let me bury this here.

1 reply
Celaeno October 18th, 2015

My best and lovely @poisontongue, I think we all feel that way. I think "the neediness" you're reffering to is the universal need for every human on this planet. We all want to be noticed, we all want to form connections, we all want to show other the vast galaxies we are hiding in our minds. People go and stay, but you also go and stay from the perspective of other's, so that's life for us.

And progress is a very relative value. You cannot make your virtue out of it, because life is hard and cruel and sometimes it seems the air is filled with sufferings. And you have to take 5 steps back in order to survive. But you survive.

You are moving on. You wake up, you breathe, you write a post. You endure and this is your meaning. Not giving in is living. And after that, there is a whole cosmos.

You are not needy. You have things to offer, because everyone does. You have depression and deeply critical inner voice who wants you to shut you down and be miserable. You need to educate how to tame this voice, because, in reality, you are a caring person who has an ambitious mind and just want to enjoy this life.

You grew so much for the past couple of months, because you created a connection with this community. With me. I think you are not the same person. And if you still want to measure yourself in progress, I think you are better, because you are brave writing and reaching out.

As always, all my love!

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