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Depression Community - How do you actually feel today?
Feeling a little better today. But I can feel those stupid suicidal feelings trying to creep in. Fibromyalgia is acting up and I have a lot to do today. -_-
I feel numb. I'm sick of having to hide my real feeling and (paranoid) thoughts from people. I know I'll be deemed as crazy if anyone found out what I actually feel and think. I'm sick of hiding everything, and I'm sick of being sick. I don't want to hide behind this twisted superhero cape of pretending and lying anymore. But I have to.
I am so sorry! I know exactly how you feel and it isn't easy, it's not easy at all. At times you feel it couldn't get any worse than what it is and it does. Just know that if you need someone to talk to I am here.
Yesterday was a good day and then last night I could not stay asleep, waking up just after a couple hours. I took my meds as supposed to but to no avail. Now am having alot of anxiety and my depression is hitting hard and I am not sure where I want to be.
Today I'm full of uncertainty & fear. Yet in spite of how I'm feeling right here in the moment I know this feeling I now Have will be only temporary.
I feel alone. I haven't really had anyone to talk to since I got into a heated argument with someone I am trying to forget. I've tried talking to people...but it seems every time I actually need someone...everyone disappears.
@lovingPine3496 you will be ok. Know there's people who do care. Hang in there. It'll get better.
I feel like life is too stressful that there is way more trials than I can handle. That I would rather go to sleep and not wake up until everything changes. I cry all the time any more I just need a break from every aspect of my life
I'm skeptical....there's a quiet storm brewing. My family is visiting and so far there's peace. The question is-when will the shit hit the fan. It's not me, it's usually from my spouse....I know it's coming and when it does it's a meteor shower I can't escape. Day 1 today. It usually comes around day 4. We shall see.
Today is not good at all. I finally worked up the nerve to try and get help and then I realized how very hard that will be where I'm currently living.
@mjiyn2010
Even if it is hard, it is still worth doing, because you are worth doing it for! You don't want anyone to know you are getting help? I get that. However, what they think isn't near as important as taking care of yourself.
@struggler64 It's a bit more complex than just not wanting people to know. Most of the important people in my life already know that I want to get help. It just so happens that I'm living in Central America where mental illness is even more taboo than I'm used to. Most medications here you don't actually need a prescription for so I went to the pharmacy to check into the availability of antidepressants...they don't even have them. Like, at all. So currently, I can't see the point in attempting to visit the doctor if what I need isn't even available. Also, I don't think my Spanish is good enough to accurately describe what exactly is going on in order to het help and not just told to deal with it on my own (which is what I've been told the general attitude is here).
@mjiyn2010
Sorry, I had no idea! Are there things like St. John's Wort that could help? Since you have the online capability, I would explore all the avenues online for help, including 7 cups, and do whatever you know works for you. I guess we get spoiled in America, being able to get help more readily. I wish you well!
@struggler64
It's all good, you had no way of knowing. Not sure about the St.John's Wort but I'll look into it, thanks for the idea.
I feel so much more optimistic than I did yesterday... For the past couple days I felt like I was just trapped in my life and wasting time & space by being alive. I wanted to disappear so desperately that I was planning to hop on a bus and never look back... But today, I woke up and decided I do want to be acknowledged. I NEED to be acknowledged. I deserve to be heard and I'm going to fight to beat my depression.
@sylviaplathora88
Glad you figured out what you needed and went towards getting it--that is empowering, and I've found that empowering myself is a huge step toward working through anything!
I just want to say how much I enjoyed the "feelings" discussion on Sunday morning. It was good to hear other people's thoughts and feedback about common struggles we alI are living with everday. It was very encouraging. Thank you.
I am feeling okay today. I accidentally maimed myself with a chainsaw last week, and am still dealing with the pain of the stitches (16 of em) and flashbacks from having that cut me. Woke me up a bit to the reality of doing even harsher things on purpose.
I couldn't go to school today. I've been in rehab for the past year because of depression, and now I'm trying to go back to finish my studies. I'm a mess.
Went to school like normal my friends doesn't even realized that I felt bad. They all thought I'm sad because I lost my stuff and that maybe someone stole it. The fact is that my family is making me depress and seeing them each morning makes my mood at school fall down like waterfall.
Alone. I'll go to school see my friends but none of them get it. I'm not just sad.... It's so much more. All my friends when I'm "sad" just tell me to cheer up but nothing on this world could make me happy. That sounds selfish but that's just how I feel.
Same here. I know they are trying and meant well but it's just wasn't enough.
I'm about to do a public speaking thing which I hate....I'm going to breath, smile and celebrate when it's done!
Alone, lonely & hopeless. I find myself laying in the dark & isolating myself more & more. I'm trying to stay strong though & not let this overtake me.
@Acoya but you're here which means you're still reaching out! That's an amazing thing and I know how hard it can be some days. Hold on, stay here with us when you want to push everyone away. You can do this.
Im stuck. Stuck in the past. When we lived in the big city, and I was happy. I had friends, a boyfriend, and the world ahead. But all after we moved from there, I had this one constantly goal.
To move back.
But since my mom or my dad does not get it, Im left alone feeling helpless. What is the point of anything if I ain`t happy. That`s this life is all about isn`t it? And this small town has only did horrible things to me and my family. I hate this place.
But Im not good at school because I lack motivation, and I want to runaway to the big city and never look back. I just want to die, dissepear. Im worthless anywhere I go.
I find it difficult to ask for help as I am usually the one who is helping. I think my friends are tired of hearing it and my partner can't acknowledge his own problems let alone help me with mine. Usually I just end up feeling worse when I try to talk to him.
I had a horrible day. I honestly can't even begin to say what I'm feeling. All my classes today were crap. I literally felt unsafe at lunch..I felt attacked. I fell asleep in my math class today...I don't get why I'm so tired. Like everything is setting me off today. EVERYTHING. I'm trying to watch Rent I'm Netflix... But that doesn't seem to be working..I may not even sleep tonight. Picture day tomorrow..gotta force a smile.
I'm afraid people in my college program find out about my past.
I couldn't go to work today, I couldn't even go out of the house to take my son to school. I'm exhausted. I have finally given up all hope of ever beating the enormous abyss that I've fallen down.
I am worthless. I am a waste of time. I am a lost cause.
My mother has washed her hands of me, where does that leave me? I am utterly and truly lost!
I can't find help, even if someone tried, my paranoid brain tells me they are just being nice because they pity me because they feel sorry for me.
"Never discourage anyone...who continually makes progress, no matter how slow"
This helps me through some bad times. It might not seem like it but you are making progress. Coming on 7 Cups and sharing your feelings isn't an easy thing but you are doing it and I'm proud of you. Don't give up...alot of us have or are going through the "black dog of depression" and are here to support eachother.
Sometimes all you have to do is with all your strength just hang on. Sometimes that's all we can do for the day, month, year. In those times these lyrics from my favorite song helped me. "When the waves are taking you under, hold on just a little bit longer, he knows that this is going to make you stronger." Stronger by Mandissa
So i guess ill get started. I have this horrible problem with everytime I get ahead in life I shut down and throw it all away. I did this again a couple weeks ago. I broke up with my girlfriend after I acted stupid quit my job and moved out of state on a whim. Its like I couldnt control myself and its not the first time i have done this. I feel like I cant truly be happy and i bottle everything up and blow up then try to change everything around me to make it better. My girlfriend any guy would be jealous over. She was ridiculously beautifull and really cared and loved me and i just broke her heart because of my own insecurities. I dont know what to do any more.
Ive tried shes already dating around which she has all rights to. She said she has to get over me.
Damn, I would say mode but it'd be better 1to1 unfortunately that is not possible, I wish you the best
Every day I mostly feel empty... Like I am so used to the pain, i turn numb. For example today I felt so broken that I tried to cry but i just couldnt seem to. It is that feeling of a knot full of emotions stuck in my throat that I cant get out.
