Depression Community - How do you actually feel today?

I feel lost. I've been feeling like this for a while. Today was bad. I had a pregnancy scare with a friend and it was torture. I felt never ending guilt and shame. I had feelings for him. I regret having sex with him. I think I was very lonely and desperate. It's painful knowing that he's already after someone else. My head is messed up. That was the last thing I needed. It's already hard with depression and anxiety. I can't really call myself the victim. I was the one with feelings for him and chose to have sex. It's my fault for thinking that it was more.

School is tiring. I had enough today. After school, it was perfect. No one was home and I could do whatever I wanted. I was smiling and dancing. I went to find the pills in my parents' room. I took one and then another. I was still smiling, but I got frustrated and started to cry. I took another one and another. I eventually gave up. I'm fine now.

Help me.

I had a humiliating experience today. I did all I could to sit there and be still & calm till I could leave. I made it to the parking lot before my tears came. I'm extremely confused....I want to disappear.

I couldn't get out of bed today to go to school, eat or do anything. Finding out that the person I look up to the most is on drugs affected me really bad. Seeing him get worse daily has just slipped me right back into depression..

I don't drink. I don't do drugs. I don't take meds.

I need something to take me away. I desperately don't want to feel this way right now.

I don't want to be me right now.

I feel terrible today. I'm sick of this. I have to act happy when in reality, the facade I have is starting to slip and I'm panicking. I just want my friends to understand that I'm not happy, and I don't want them to judge me either. They won't do either though.

I just want to kick depressions ass, instill breathing so I know I'm winning but the battles still ongoing

worthless. useless. bourdon. I want to have fun and be happy but I hate myself and I hate my anxiety and I hate my weight. I just want to sleep

My chest hurts and I want to cry. I thought I was having a good day but I'm really not. I miss my friends

I'm feeling worthless, unaccomplished, down. It's one of those weeks. If I could disappear I would.