Depression Community - How do you actually feel today?
Feeling a little better today. But I can feel those stupid suicidal feelings trying to creep in. Fibromyalgia is acting up and I have a lot to do today. -_-
I feel numb. I'm sick of having to hide my real feeling and (paranoid) thoughts from people. I know I'll be deemed as crazy if anyone found out what I actually feel and think. I'm sick of hiding everything, and I'm sick of being sick. I don't want to hide behind this twisted superhero cape of pretending and lying anymore. But I have to.
I am so sorry! I know exactly how you feel and it isn't easy, it's not easy at all. At times you feel it couldn't get any worse than what it is and it does. Just know that if you need someone to talk to I am here.
Yesterday was a good day and then last night I could not stay asleep, waking up just after a couple hours. I took my meds as supposed to but to no avail. Now am having alot of anxiety and my depression is hitting hard and I am not sure where I want to be.
Today I'm full of uncertainty & fear. Yet in spite of how I'm feeling right here in the moment I know this feeling I now Have will be only temporary.
I feel alone. I haven't really had anyone to talk to since I got into a heated argument with someone I am trying to forget. I've tried talking to people...but it seems every time I actually need someone...everyone disappears.
@lovingPine3496 you will be ok. Know there's people who do care. Hang in there. It'll get better.
I feel like life is too stressful that there is way more trials than I can handle. That I would rather go to sleep and not wake up until everything changes. I cry all the time any more I just need a break from every aspect of my life
I'm skeptical....there's a quiet storm brewing. My family is visiting and so far there's peace. The question is-when will the shit hit the fan. It's not me, it's usually from my spouse....I know it's coming and when it does it's a meteor shower I can't escape. Day 1 today. It usually comes around day 4. We shall see.
Today is not good at all. I finally worked up the nerve to try and get help and then I realized how very hard that will be where I'm currently living.
@mjiyn2010
Even if it is hard, it is still worth doing, because you are worth doing it for! You don't want anyone to know you are getting help? I get that. However, what they think isn't near as important as taking care of yourself.
@struggler64 It's a bit more complex than just not wanting people to know. Most of the important people in my life already know that I want to get help. It just so happens that I'm living in Central America where mental illness is even more taboo than I'm used to. Most medications here you don't actually need a prescription for so I went to the pharmacy to check into the availability of antidepressants...they don't even have them. Like, at all. So currently, I can't see the point in attempting to visit the doctor if what I need isn't even available. Also, I don't think my Spanish is good enough to accurately describe what exactly is going on in order to het help and not just told to deal with it on my own (which is what I've been told the general attitude is here).
@mjiyn2010
Sorry, I had no idea! Are there things like St. John's Wort that could help? Since you have the online capability, I would explore all the avenues online for help, including 7 cups, and do whatever you know works for you. I guess we get spoiled in America, being able to get help more readily. I wish you well!
I feel so much more optimistic than I did yesterday... For the past couple days I felt like I was just trapped in my life and wasting time & space by being alive. I wanted to disappear so desperately that I was planning to hop on a bus and never look back... But today, I woke up and decided I do want to be acknowledged. I NEED to be acknowledged. I deserve to be heard and I'm going to fight to beat my depression.
@sylviaplathora88
Glad you figured out what you needed and went towards getting it--that is empowering, and I've found that empowering myself is a huge step toward working through anything!
I just want to say how much I enjoyed the "feelings" discussion on Sunday morning. It was good to hear other people's thoughts and feedback about common struggles we alI are living with everday. It was very encouraging. Thank you.