Depression Community - How do you actually feel today?

Good. And then I got lost. Suddenly, I had no distractions to keep myself from feeling this way. It's like I was born sad and the world around me is so busy with life trying to keep me happy, but as soon as it's just me again, I'm sad. Does that make sense?

Anxious and sad...I'm about to tackle more stupidity and my goal is to stay in control and prevail. I'm afraid I'll blow my stack cause what I really want to do is socially unacceptable. Wish me luck.....

My anxiety and depression has gotten so bad that it's made me physically sick. I don't know what to do. I feel so lost and dead. I want to be happy. I want to do well in school but I don't have the energy. I always want to cry but I can't. :(

I'm not exactly sure if I'm alright. I was recently going through a LOT to where things were just unbearable and now I guess I feel at peace with all of this craziness. It's a strange feeling, but it's not exactly good. I don't feel like me?

My mom talked to me about getting therapy so I'm feeling good because I can finally get the help I need.

You know how when you throw a rock into the water, first it splashes loudly, then sinks and settles on the bottom? Or when you go to use a certain coloured pencil, it's exactly the one you need, and right as you go to use it, the tip breaks off? It doesn't fall out, but it just breaks? Or when you go to pick out an outfit, and then you remember that the shirt you were going to use, the perfect shirt for that outfit, and then you remember it's in the wash? I feel like that.

I'm mortified by the fact that there's only a 36% chance I'll get into the school of my dreams and because I'm such a fucking imbecile there's no way I'll make it to that percentile

I feel like a failure. I was at the doctor's office today (only to translate for a friend of mine) and I was too scared to say anything for most of the time...right when I was almost ready to say something and ask the doctor about maybe being put on meds, she had to leave for an emergency. I feel like I missed an opportunity that fell into my lap and now I have to find the motivation to make the effort to eventually get back to the doctor's office.

Today I just feel down. I don't want to talk to anyone or do anything. I just want to stay in bed all day. And I feel bad for feeling like this.

I feel like I'm getting worse than I've been in awhile. I'm already a shitty person but now with my old feelings creeping back in and developing some feelings I wish I'd never get ever, I feel like I'm almost hitting rock bottom when I thought I've hit it already.

I'm off my medication (my doctor knows) because I thought I would continue to be okay. The bad thoughts were almost all gone, feeling guilty all the time subsided, I didn't care what others thought, I was able to go places by myself and so on but now I can't do anything! I'm scared to go out and even if I thought I could I wouldn't have the energy to do so. I can barely get out of bed let alone bathe daily.. It's gross I know I'm sorry but oh my god. I know if I want to change I have to do that myself. I'm trying I am.

When I try to be positive I end up thinking of how things are pointless. I'd like to kill myself but I'm a bit scared and I can't because of my family. My mom is sick and if something happens to her I have to step up and take care of my 2 younger siblings. How am I supposed to do that if I can barely get out of bed? I obviously will do my best but I'd be counting the days till they go off to college. I feel bad for thinking of that too because I love them and I don't to feel like they would be a burden because they aren't. I love them. They are my bebe bro and bebe sis.

I'm getting carried away but I needed to vent a little bit because I can't talk to anyone about how I am feeling because I don't want them to worry about me. I can't talk to my friend ( I have only 1 friend but I'm fine with that because .. I have horrible reasons why but I'm fine with that) or family. I don't want them looking at my like I'm damaged. I've tried therapy but I feel stupid for being there because it feeling like nothing is wrong with me and that I want attention but I don't. I just want to feel okay again not miserable.