Depression Community - How do you actually feel today?
My eyes are swollen today from tears. I have to face the world with my face...just want to get thru the work day in tact. When I walk out my door, I have to be "on"-a walking, talking, smiling human being. My insides are torn but all that matters for today at work is that I keep it together, appear confident, smart and able to do my job. And the second it's over, I can exhale and find somewhere quiet to retreat and get ready for tomorrow. That's how I feel.
I was trying not to cry in front of a group of eleven other people after they made fun of me for a LONG while. They're supposed to be my friends, but I've gotten tired of how they treat me. I can't even get away from them. I've got waaaay too many issues for this right now.
I feel sad. It hurts thats all at once everything falls apart. Then man i gave evrything to myself to.h ad a child with just up leaves. I know im not easy to always get along with but im hurting so much.. Ive put up with so much from him but i dont know how to be without him.. Im terrifed no one will ever love me
That is not true. I went through a similar situation. The first thing to do is find yourself, discover who you are as you, and figure out how to cast your shadow without having to be in someone elses. And I know the lost of love is hard we all know that. But no one said life would be easy and if it really was easy would it still be worth it. Cherish the life you have created and now depends souly on you and loves you with no measure. And smile ,even when you fight back tears. Smile. And stay strong.
What is conversation without communication. When all my words fall on deaf ears. I try and open up, let you in and I turn to see you aren't even here. Your presence is ghostly. Forever lost is the comfort I seek. Words. Simple words that all that stands between.
I'm not sure how I feel anymore. I don't know how I got to be this bad. I just don't know anymore.
I don't really feel much right now
Suffocated
Today I feel like giving up and throwing in the towel as they say. Like maybe this endless thing we call life isn't worth living anymore, but then I think of his smile. His warm kiss on my cheek and the way I'd leave him broken and all alone. So instead I take out that stupid blade and run it over my skin over and over again. And just for a few precious moments the negative thoughts stop and "life" makes sense again. Why am I like this? I feel nothing and everything all at once and it's awful.
I feel like I can't find joy in anything that i do.... and I know I have no reason to feel like this. I'm not happy with my life although it's a perfectly normal, acceptable (in the eyes of society) lifestyle that I live. But inside I'm miserable knowing that because of my decisions and how I've chosen to end up where I am I will never accomplish anything I set out too... just hard to live with that when you can't find joy in any aspect of your life. I hate myself.
I feel similar. It's a perfectly "normal" life... but I'm not happy in it... I can't seem to force myself to be happy.... when did that happen? When did I stop being able to be happy?
Same here.. sums me up perfectly.
Today I fell...uh, I don't even know. Currently I'm scared. I've finally come to the point where I know I need professional help and I think I'm ready to get it. It's just that given my current life situation, that requires telling my boss what's going on so she can help me get help. I'm scared because I'm living in a new country and I'm not sure what their views on mental health are. I don't want to step away from my job to go home to get help, but I fear it may be what I end up having to do.