Depression Community - How do you actually feel today?

Feeling a bit better today than I have in the last few weeks. It's been rough and stressful in every way possible for me though. I'm wishing for a few up days so I can do things properly.

Terrible, forgotten, the usual. Parents smacked me for 'breaking a hole in a wall' when I didn't even do it. It sucks being the oldest and having everything being blamed on you. :/

I feel bad about myself!! I want to cry

I feel myself question my purpose in this world. I feel sad and have cried today as I did yesterday as I probably will tomorrow. I'm worried about school on tuesday

This week has been turbulent for me... I feel whatever little things I do are not sufficient enough. What with a family bereavement, my anxieties overwhelming me, and my old nemesis depression returning with vengeance... I don't know if I'll ever feel the way I once did only but two months ago. For the last two years someone changed my life for the better and I had gained not only a beautiful friendship with him, but also inspired me so much. But sadly he too has been tested, and it hurts me so much to see the change in him... That this once joyful, radiant person reduced someone I hardly recognise. And what makes it worse is that he lives in America and I'm in the UK... I love him with all my heart... But I fear nothing will ever be the same again.

I hate that you moan I don't do anything. I hate that you mumble under your breath. I hate that you make me feel guilty and lazy when you know full well I cant physically do the things that you ask. I hate that you know all this and carry on regardless. And most of all I hate that you make others think I'm bone idle and I can't stand up for myself.

I'm so tired of crying. My eyes hurt and now become puffy eyes. My whole life is disappointing, you know? I can't, I mean. There is not a single moment in my life when I can be happy and kept the feeling of happiness. I instantly got depressed again. And ruined the moment to the others. I wanna build a new me but everytime I try boom! I failed. My whole life is bullshit. Last Friday I was more depressed than ever. I was gathering strength to kill myself. But I just ended up crying all night. When my grandmother came, she was looking for all over the house. So I decided to appear and when my grandma saw me, she began to mourn. At that moment I felt tied to life by my grandmother and my brother. How can I make to them something like this? But how do you suppose I'm going to keep me alive? I can't.

Frustrated and empty. There are so many things I want to do, that technically are acceptable and normal but I can't because of someone who has the ability to and will make my life very difficult if I do them; who doesn't understand and refuse to try to listen to anyone who says otherwise. Truth be told I'm not necessarily angry at (person) because even after everything, I can see (the person) is acting out because of the way others have treated (aforementioned person). It makes me feel so trapped and empty though because I feel so limited in what I can do right now as I feel my life passing by.. I don't want to live a life of regret.

I'm just tired.

I get so tired of going thou th same stuff day after day thing I won't to do things I can't do it maks me so depressed I was geting really bad ready to shoot my self hang myself got this app and its help me a lot but iv gotenwher now I just won't to go as far away where no one can find me and just lay down and die wher no one can find me. So I gess what I'm saying is some time the people on here i chat with bel and sometimes im Lukeyto be wher I am im trying to stand strong but it's so hard