Weekly Prompt #40: How does your depression affect your ability to care about and take care of others?
Hello all, I hope you are all being easy on yourself this week.
A few weeks ago we discussed: How has depression changed your perspective on life? Thank you to all who participated and shared their thoughts and questions for discussion. They were thought-provoking questions and thoughts. I hope you all did too. If you didn't share yours, please share them here and I look forward to reading and discussing them with you
This week's prompt: How does your depression affect your ability to care about and take care of others?
Depression can affect a person's ability to care about and take care of others. How it affect yours? Let's get started and share your thoughts with us. I look forward to hearing all your thoughts and ideas.
@ASilentObserver well idk the way it affected me is that it just makes it hard to even think of anything to say considering everything reassuring i can say i dont believe myself
@Sebastian0o0 Oh man I feel this. I can never really bring myself to telling people it's gonna be ok because I'm never sure it is.
@ASilentObserver I'm not sure if I'm a bit opposite here... Personally I have very low self-esteem issues which are related to my depression. This makes it so that I aways want to please others, but I don't have any motivation for anything for myself... so family comes home and I will cook and clean for them- but I won't eat- that sort of thing.
@Tri2BHappy I hear you struggle with low self-esteem and finding meaning in life. Wanting to please others can sometimes feel empty inside. What do you think might give your life more purpose?
@ASilentObserver
That's the $10,000 dollar question. I don't know. I've lost all my hobbies, never liked sports, feel like exercise is punishment, I stay in contact with 2 friends that aren't near me, I have a career I never liked but it pays well- and that career doesn't impact people or Earth or anything. it just is. Friends and family are like teachers- changing kids' lives. My immediate family covet art and music- constantly talking about how fantastic the people that write the songs or play the instruments or make the pictures- and me, I got none of that talent. I'm just extra mass on this Earth.
I'm older, so a career change isn't going to happen- I need to support my family.
So yeah, finding meaning to why I'm on this Earth is a goal I haven't reached yet. Though I'm open to suggestions :)
@ASilentObserver
How does your depression affect your ability to care about and take care of others?
I have lost access to all of my positive emotions. Because of this I lack Compassion and Empathy. Nor do I get a good feeling from helping others. Because of this I have no desire to help others although I do at times.
I always worry depression makes me look like Sadness from Inside Out. I worry that I am a downer to be around. Also, depression exhausts me so I don't have much to give of myself to more than what I consider immediate family. I have to ration my empathy and that sucks.
@reallyoverallofit I am sorry to hear that, you are struggling with feeling like a burden due to your depression. It is tough when you feel like you can't be there for others as much as you'd like. Please know your feelings are valid, and taking time for yourself is okay. What do you think might help you feel less alone in this?
@ASilentObserver Probably nothing. I have a therapist and I am open about my depression. I don't know if there's anything else. Possibly medication.
How does your depression affect your ability to care about and take care of others? I don't. That sounds so harsh doesn't it? It makes me feel like a bad person sometimes but then again, I don't care. I simply do not have the energy to give more to people who just continuously take. I do not have it in me to force conversations and interactions.
@mytwistedsoul Not having the energy to constantly give to others is overwhelming. It is important to taking care of yourself is essential, especially when you're dealing with depression. What are some ways you do take care of yourself during these times?
@ASilentObserver I try to do things I usually enjoy. Working in the greenhouse and building things. Socializing here. The past few months I get no enjoyment doing any of these things. I try to eat healthy and stay hydrated and I go places that are new and interesting and fun. I go through the motions but that's all it is - a motion to get me through the day. Shouldn't there be something more? Something that - idk - brings even just a small lasting joy or happiness?
I'm not too sure tbh, but everyday is mindless to me, like I'm not actually there. I'm tired all the time and I don't find any enjoyment in the things I do love so I end up just mindlessly sitting and staring at the tv or nothing at all.
It's been difficult for me to just do anything and express what I feel cause I don't know how or what to feel. I just copy the expression of others around me because I don't want to ruin the mood. I always maintain distance, never fully joining in on things. Like I'm staring out of a window at everyone having fun.
@ASilentObserver Imagine that depression makes you see everything the same way but toned down in emotion and reaction - you feel like a stone version of yourself watching things go by in your life and feeling as if you are not moving yourself. It takes a lot of courage to get out of such a deep hole.
@ASilentObserver I try to do my best to take care of my little sisters, I tease and play but I’d die for them in a heartbeat. I’ve got a functional household so it’s never really on me to try to take care of anyone on my own other than make sure the house doesn’t burn down while my parents are gone for work or grocery runs. I care about my family and friends deeply and if I had to I’d do anything I could but I’ve never really had to take care of anyone, just the dog.
@ASilentObserver
it’s debilitating, when nothing is worthwhile or already written off as a failure before even trying.
without goals and just existing there’s no progression. Yes you do what’s necessary to sustain life (for others) but actually living is only occasionally attempted, feedback life provides heavily dictates worthiness of such efforts.
life becomes the repetitive going through the motions without true meaning. It’s hard to try with already preconceived expectations of outcomes. Fear of further hurt that’s unmanageable if things go wrong.
and at it’s worst, severe depression and in relation to how it effects others is the last thing thought about. Everything is secondary to the pain you feel and means of coping.
ultimately it hurts those who may care and effects how you are able to care because what’s most important shifts depending.
Your level of effort
your resilience
your compassion
your want outside yourself
it can be mild or severe. Either way and the in between all are effected in relation to level of hopelessness.
My two cents
@ASilentObserver Since I was a kid I didn't care about anything except sleep and fun. I gave up completely at school and all I wanted to do was escape the reality I lived in. I felt like I didn't care if I lived or died,(death always sounded peaceful) but at the same time, I never wanted to give up and change my depression. I lived in limbo where I didn't care about myself, but I cared about myself and worked hard to figure out what was wrong with me. I did care about helping people understand themselves and their emotions and providing space, but I would unconsciously run at the first sight of real responsibilities. Due to fear and a pattern of constant depression and feeling like I'm not enough for lack of experience. I'd self-sabotage and live to survive to keep the fun lifestyle and hide the detriment of my reality till things went away. just as fast as id try to learn and get better id forget and fall back to self-sabotage. it's been two years since I've been actually changing and finally feel like I can manage my depression. I stopped drinking, going out, vaping, and looking for outside instant gratification. now I have a lot of great things going on with love, family, and business. thing is because of the lack of simple elementary skills and discipline I'm going through it by trying to learn fast which is crucial to the new business while working through a rush of constant fear and depression due to the lack of self-esteem. it's like I care but I'm numb and I'm doing everything in my power to heal from the root and build from the ground up. Not sure where to start but I'm trying to find it in me to care for myself and the people I love. I want to be someone everyone can rely on, but my old habits are so ingrained. Depression is constantly looming, but I don't want to not care anymore and I want to be a reliable loving father, husband, Friend, and Son one day.
