Weekly Prompt #37: What challenges are you facing that you need help with?
Hello all, I hope you are all being easy on yourself this week.
Last week we discussed: How does your cultural background or upbringing influence your experience with depression? Thank you to all who participated and shared their thoughts and questions for discussion. They were thought-provoking questions and thoughts. I hope you all did too. If you didn't share yours, please share them here and I look forward to reading and discussing them with you
This week's prompt: What challenges are you facing that you need help with?
Let's get started to share our challenges and support each other.
I'm finishing high school soon (this year, hopefully) and I need to get my life on track to enter uni and get a job. I'm not from the US, btw, so it's different.
But, the problem is, I get into a really good rhythm for a couple of weeks and then everything falls apart and then I have no idea how to pick up the pieces and end up just giving up. I failed my second year in HS because of that - terrible memories and my mom decided to become an alcoholic just to make things even better back then.
Anyways, she's better now - five months sober already.
But, I really don't know what to do with myself anymore.
Everything is just a mess in everyway and to make things better I'm physically disabled and have social phobia/agoraphobia (idk how it's named in english).
So, a lot of trauma, no money to pay for therapy and I just wanna give up, just haven't had the courage for it yet, but I've been thinking too much and I don't know if one of these days I'll just do it, yk?
No one takes this seriously and the rest of my family is kind of not involved or live in different states, so I only got my mom, who doesn't have enough energy to deal with my problems on top of hers. I really got no one and I just feel so stupid and ugly that I don't even approach people to make friends. I think I would just make their lives worse and just dk how to do it after the pandemic. It's just all so tiring and overwhelming. And I have to try and take care of these things by myself, because I'm practically an adult, but I got no clue what to do with myself.
I don't see a future for me.
(Sorry for all this...)
@ASilentObserver Hey there, ASO
Some things I am dealing with right now are trying to live peacefully with my mom until I have a full time job and enough money to move out, as well as working on accommodations with my school to ensure that I complete my degree and feel supported. I am doing a lot of solo-adventuring lately, and it has been such a great thing for me to do! I am just taking it easy this summer and will return full-send when I gain full-time employment.
As always, thank you,
Ethan
@sincerePlane4053 It seems like finding peace and independence from your mother and achieving your educational goals are important to you. How do you plan on approaching these challenges?
@ASilentObserver I think the best way to approach these challenges is with a peaceful and positive mindset, with a great deal of determination too. I am doing my best, and that is all I could ask of myself.
Ethan
I’m struggling to remain hopeful and have realistic expectations of myself. I struggle with ADHD, depression and anxiety and have 5 children aged between 1-8yrs old. My mental health has always been up and down and for a long time I thought it was something I’d ‘get over’ if I just did the right things. I had my children in good spells and struggle with people immediately asking why I had them if I have these particular struggles. I’m In my 30s now and am realising this is just never going away and I have to learn to juggle it all. The judgement from others for my struggles with my conditions with parental judgement on top of that kills me. Add in my lack of executive function skills and motivation at times and the associated guilt and shame and I’m left wondering is it all my fault? Was I wrong to have a partner and a family? It’s not like I can go back now. But how do I move forward? I try and try and try and it just feels like fail after fail after fail. I don’t want to fail myself or my family but I don’t know how to manage all that’s required.
@Redgrapesintheevening5268
You are not alone. My situation differs from yours, but I share the same feelings of inadequacy and constant failure. I feel like I am always being judged and I am always missing something essential. I play the what-if? game all the time. Unfortunately we can't go back (although I wish we could) and change the choices that we made. Now there are more difficult choices to be made and I am exhausted from the guilt and self-deprecation.
@ASilentObserver
What challenges are you facing that you need help with?
I need to have enough confidence in myself and my abilities to do the things that I am afraid of. It's difficult to start anything when others are telling you that you're not smart enough, or talented enough, or pretty enough. Rejection is a part of life, but I can't seem to get past the trauma. I need to have confidence in myself to make crucial decisions that will affect my life and my future. And I need to do it soon before I break.
@NotAllHere713 It seems like you have been dealing with some tough words from others which has left you feeling uncertain about yourself. Tthat is painful to hear someone say such things. How did those comments make you feel?
@ASilentObserver
I've been hearing these words since childhood. First from my family, and now from my spouse. It's difficult to not believe all this negativity if it is coming from those who I believed should love me unconditionally. How does this make me feel? Useless, unwanted, worthless, unlovable.
@ASilentObserver my challenge I need help with is finding uplifting and inspiring people who support my best self. Mostly I've been around people who don't or can't care with bad habits I woudnt dream of doing. Now I'm almost totally isolated for a long time because alone is better than poor company.
@communicativePond1728 It seems like you have had some negative experiences with others that have left you feeling discouraged. I understand the want to surround yourself with supportive people who uplift you. What kind of habits have you typically seen in these others that you wouldn't want to adopt?
@communicativePond1728 Hey communicativePond, thanks for sharing. It can be tough to be alone, but it takes a tremendous amount of strength to acknowledge what you need and what would prevent you from achieving those goals. Are there certain qualities and characteristics that you are hoping to surround yourself with? Are there some people in your life who you can grow closer and cultivate those relationships?
I’m struggling with intrusive thoughts (specifically anxiety related) around being outdoors. I want to leave the house and be active, but I panic and stay inside.
- What if I walk outside and I trip in the crosswalk and cause an accident that hurts someone?
- What if I look at someone the “wrong way” and ruin their day?
- What if someone makes fun of my face or body while I’m outside?
- What if someone notices I’m awkward and I make them feel uncomfortable?
- What if I go out to a park and get stung by a wasp on my face and have an allergic reaction and have a huge hospital bill..or step in dog poop and ruin my shoes and have to buy new ones?
- What if I trip and fall and have a huge scar that doesn’t fade, further triggering my body dysmorphia?
I understand the thoughts are almost fantastical and unlikely, but the small chance that they can happen coupled with my life experiences of having many unusual/“unlikely” things happen to me, causes me to spiral. What if?..What if?..What if?..
These thoughts are informed by experiences of peer bullying as a child and adult as well as from childhood emotional abuse from caregivers. I’m working through things with my therapist and psychiatrist, but recently now the thoughts seem too strong to overcome, even for a little bit. So instead, my go to coping mechanism is to retreat to where it’s “safe”, inside.
I know that isolating is a pseudo safety and I have a yearning to be outside. I am struggling with taking a chance. I am struggling with feeling autonomous and not letting past experiences dictate my present actions.
@ASilentObserver greatest challenges is getting over the poor choices I have made, people I have pushed away and feeling stuck as a result. Now with little support and knowledge on what to do next with the rest of my life
@brightCake1421 It seems like carrying around regret from past decisions can weigh heavily on us. Which specific choices feel most challenging for you to come to terms with?
@ASilentObserver
taking on everything on my own and not asking for help. I thought that I shouldn't help anyone if I can't help myself, I'm realizing now that I was getting in my own way and had I stayed open, I can help those that have helped me.
@ASilentObserver
First, please let me just say that I absolutely 100% LOVE these weekly prompt threads. This one centered on challenges and the other one focusing on things you love about yourself were the only two I saw so I threw myself in them via commenting!!
My biggest challenge - it may not show here - is that I am extremely painfully shy (might even be social anxiety idk) and don’t have any social confidence. Admittedly it has gotten better. It used to be around everyone and anywhere. Now it’s only around certain people and only in certain places/environments. My toxic abusive mother traumatized me when I was a child and has abused me ever since and I believe this is the result of that childhood trauma. Now my stepdad is doing it too. It’s why I have cut them off however I’m still affected by what they did.
This is why I can’t do anything when I like someone. It’s why I’ve lost so many opportunities to ask anyone out and why I’ve never dated before which are both other challenges I’m facing ever since I was younger.
I currently like someone but I can’t do anything about it. I’m always told things like “you’ll be fine, just relax, you’re just making excuses” and things like that but it’s not that simple. This person could currently be in a relationship with someone or not wanna go out with anyone at this present time and as much as I like this person perhaps even bc of it I gotta respect that as much as I wanna go out with them.
@akunknown what I've learnt about your family so far, cutting them off would be the best thing for you. Although I understand that can be extremely difficult. As for not getting answers and closure from their past actions, honey even if you never manage to get them out of your life, I don't think you'll ever get any answers or apologies😞 dating is a tough one. But I do understand how lonely life can be sometimes, I hope you find the person of your dreams and you live happily ever after, you deserve to be treated right and loved ❤❤ gives you a giant tiny hug ❤
@akunknown I am glad you liked them unknown. you can fine the previous prompts linked at the beginning of the post and you can follow the chain to find other threads as well to participate.
It seems like shyness has been holding you back in social situations due to past traumas. That makes a lot of sense. It is good that you made progress in feeling more comfortable in some settings though. What thoughts come up for you when considering taking risks in relationships?
@ASilentObserver My greatest challenge right now is procrastination. I postpone things all the time and end up overworking myself. This causes me to become stressed and anxious.
