Weekly Prompt #37: What challenges are you facing that you need help with?

@ASilentObserver greatest challenges is my mind. The memories that haunt my mind, giving me alot of nightmares recently😥 feelings I can't seem to get past, like guilt and shame. I try to ignore all these things and be happy, get on with my life. But my brain isn't working with me very well

How have you been doing lately? I hope you have a good week ❤

@Tinywhisper11 you are experiencing difficult emotions related to painful memories that have been resurfacing, causing you significant distress. These feelings of guilt and shame can weigh heavily on us, making it challenging to move forward. How do these memories impact your daily life?

@ASilentObserver aww sweetie I'm sorry your not feeling great😥 wraps you up in a cosy blanket and cuddles you up ❤ it's all gonna be ok. I'm right here if you ever need me ❤❤

@ASilentObserver

Hi ❤️. Still under the weather? If so, how can I help? I’m here for you, always. ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

@Tinywhisper11

How ya doin with your bad memories haunting you, giving you nightmares, etc? Anything I can do to help you? I’m always here for you. Hugs. ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

@akunknown thanks sweetie ❤ it's just a hard month for me, with my sons birthday coming up, lots of triggers, but I'm fighting through ❤❤hugggs

@ASilentObserver Right now I am struggling with the first steps of fixing my eating disorder. I made some agreements with my therapist to regulate the portion size and type of stuff I put on my bread/sandwiches. Usually I am stuck during the week and go for really low amounts and very healthy stuff and then during the weekend, allow myself unhealthy stuff, but crazy amounts. In the wordt weekends, a full jar of unhealthy spread can go in 2 days...

I agreed with her to allow myself the unhealthy things during the week, and lower the amounts during the weekend. So, trying to find balance. 

But it is so hard as for example the first one is easiest to try and keep the amount low, but the one after I get thoughts like: first was good, you can do the next one really bad and its still improvement, and during the week it is still hard because of the unhealthy portions to also take the unhealthy thing as this feels like being even more unhealthy to me. So finding that balance in the short term means letting that go a bit, and dealing with the temptations more. And on top of that, other factors like events or birhtdays that cause cravings or unhealthy situations also cause thoughts that influence my decisions on the portions sizes and healthy/unhealthy spread choices. I am proud that I did a bit better last weekend, but some other factors also put new temptations and dissappointments in my mind to act on and eat...

@Michelh1996 that is challenging to maintain these agreements while balancing different desires and emotions. What thoughts come up for you when you feel like allowing yourself certain foods?

@ASilentObserver In a way I am scared to break the balance I have at the moment. Like right now, I am exercising a lot to compensate and eating on the weekends and giving in to cravings which leads to more exercise and the other way around. Which has also made my views on days very black and white, like a good or a bad day. A healthy day or a unhealthy day. No matter how healthy or unhealthy.

So if I allow myself on healthy days, I feel like they are also bad days, and with the way I am eating on the weekends, if I can't control it during the week, I am scared to have these moments more often so I will then still eat too much in these moments, but the moments are more frequent as well.

The idea is a better balance I know that, but in the short term, allowing myself certain foods during the week to hopefully make the episodes and amounts on the weekend a bit lower will lead to a bit more in total. So in the first few weeks because I might take something unhealthy, but can only reduce the weekend situation a tiny bit. Overal during the week, I am worse in a way. If that makes sense...

@Michelh1996

I am sorry you are going through this. Making changes can be overwhelming & scary, especially if having a certain routine for a long amount of time. Change can take time & there can be many attempts/different approaches, before something will 'work'. Great to hear you are working with a therapist, to find a way towards betterment. :)

Right now I am struggling with independence. I feel captive in my body with my new health problems. And I feel stuck in my relationships. At the same time I keep feeling the need to fight to prove I can take care of myself and prove I am ok.

@LostGirl92 I can understand how  you are experiencing some challenging feelings related to independence, being stuck in your body due to health issues, and wanting to prove yourself in your relationships. How do these situations make you feel?

@ASilentObserver

Mostly tired

I can relate to feeling so trapped in your body when it is no longer in your control or limits you with medical conditions ❤️

@ASilentObserver

I am completely overwhelmed with my demanding profession as a midwife. I have paperwork over my head and never ending responsibilities that just pile up and I get so depressed with feeling like I’m not enough or doing enough and everything I should be doing for my patients. I hate to feel like I’m just limping along mentally and not living full and happy. The last drop in my bucket has found the hole and is painfully draining away. No reserves left. 

@Turquoise0216 You are experiencing a lot right now. Feeling overwhelmed with work responsibilities can take its toll on us. What is contributing most to these negative thoughts about yourself?

@ASilentObserver Rn I have been struggling with feelings of being talked about and just being disliked by everyone around me. I know that it's all in my head, but I can't help but ruminate on past traumas/bad conversations/poor relationships. I am back in school and feel very lonely. I have tried putting myself out there. It can be pretty exhausting, even though I have a lot going for me. I just want to feel like a normal person.

@Linar6 I am sorry to hear that you are experiencing difficult feelings of loneliness and self-doubt during this time in school. Feeling left out and ruminating on past issues can take a toll on our mental health. What thoughts tend to go through your mind when you feel like everyone dislikes you?

@ASilentObserver well i suffer from ptsd and depression and i belong from a culture where mens mental health is a taboo and there is no therapy so i faced lot of obstacles, i faced bullying for posting about mens mental health here only imagine what would happen in real life...

@MindfulJourney22

I am sorry you have experienced that here on 7 Cups. Men's mental health is very important, no matter culture, race, identification. I commend you for reaching out for mental health support.  Do not give up. There are many supportive, empathy Listeners here on 7 Cups.

@MindfulJourney22 Hi mind, thank you for opening up with us. I am sorry to hear you are experiencing PTSD and depression. It is commendable that you are speaking up about men's mental health despite the stigma around it.  Would you share more about the obstacles you faced?

@MindfulJourney22 really??? That's really sad 😢 this is a mental health site ffs, noone should bully anyone here, I'm sorry people did that😞 it's not like it's easy for you outside cups, but here you shouldn't have to go through that. Just remember lots of us care about you, and are here to help and support you, I'm always here if there's anything I can do. Gives you a giant tiny hug ❤❤

@ASilentObserver What is the pòint in having topics to choose from and when selecting them listeners either ignore the topic or it doesn't show?

@thoughtfulBunny8587 it has a purpose to connect with the right listeners to listen and support you well. If they didn't please do report such behavior bunny. We are all here with you to listen to and support. I understand  how frustrating it can be when you are not feeling heard. 

My struggles are many and lifelong, I have been lost in the darkness so long I am scared of the light. I have been spiraling for a few months with no semblance of steadiness. This is not new for this week nor year but , I have accepted this as my life. 

@Iamwhoiamwhoami I am sorry to hear you have been feeling lost and struggling for a long time. But I am glad you opened up. It takes courage to open up about such personal experiences. Feeling scared of change can be overwhelming when it is unfamiliar. Would you please share more about what the darkness feels like for you?

@ASilentObserver

 The darkness is home, I have been in it so long that is what I know. I don’t really feel anything, no  positive things anyway. The darkness is kind of like being lost in a  cave with no flashlight. The more you wander the farther from the entrance the more lost you become. For a while you are searching for the light and escape then the darkness covers you like a blanket and becomes the only comfort you know. All the while, deep inside everything that you are not a part of help compound the fears and issues and struggles into overwhelming things. Darkness becomes a safe place. I live under baggage mountain. I have built this place in my mind so I can stay hidden and safe. All my issues that I have hidden from the world are contained inside the baggage creating the mountain, thus helping keep it in complete and utter darkness. I have been in the darkness for so long I couldn’t survive in the lights. 

I’m all struggling right now with getting things done also caring and a sense of the consequences but also being like following through and getting started it’s hard for me right now I’m gonna have a bit of a fog and funk

@tidyPenny2337y It sounds like you are experiencing difficulties with motivation and productivity lately. Feeling stuck can be tough, Penny. What is making it challenging for you to get started on tasks?

The worst challenge right now for me was an apology. I did completely apologize with flying colors, I think. But I was pushed away and it felt like that person didn't care enough to fully read it. I didn't want them to say sorry and apologize to me, I just wanted to clear things up with them, but they were like " I'm sorry for saying that!! " As if they skimmed over me explicitly telling them they don't need to say sorry for their actions and that I was completely in the wrong.

I felt like I was just ignored. Every time I try to make things right it's like people dont even bother. I knew I messed up and I wanted to make things right with them to bring the rest of the group of friends I had back, but.. nope. Nothings changed. My attempts to be a good person just went to waste.

I guess you could say the greatest challenge for me is getting people to listen.

@swordlover33 I understand you are experiencing disappointment after apologizing and feeling unheard by this person. It can be difficult when we put in effort into fixing things and it doesn't go as expected. How did that make you feel?

my Biggest challenge is finding hope and wisdom. I’ve been dealing with a complex medical condition that’s not well understood or recognized for years. It effects all systems in my body. It had caused a couple of medical issues that really impact my quality of life and capabilities and relationships about 3 years ago. I’ve been to dozens of doctors abd Cleveland clinic and nothing has helped or suggested any way for future improvement. It continues to take away my life and I’m not myself when I feel like this.

@Llc214 I am sorry to hear that you have been struggling with a complex medical condition that has impacted your quality of life and relationships. Finding answers and solutions can be difficult when multiple options have not provided relief. How do you currently find yourself coping with these ongoing challenges?

@ASilentObserver  Every day for months I've promised myself a day of indulging myself - doing my hobbies, resting, pottering around, praying... And each day has brought a load of problems & demands that have needed my undivided attention - from gas & water leaks to medical appointments to my live-in relative.  So, tomorrow I'm having my Day of Indulgence regardless of anyone, anything...

@cal1860 It sounds like you are craving some time for yourself after feeling overwhelmed by responsibilities for quite some time now. It is admirable how you keep putting others first but it is important to prioritize self-care too. How do you plan on spending your day of indulgence?

@ASilentObserver The day was a total slob-fest.  PJs all day & just pottered about.  

@ASilentObserver I am my greatest challenge. I am violent even though I dont want to be, I am too aware, I dont know where I am half the time, I am mentally not there, I dont belong here, I want to leave, I dont know how I got this way, I am in dire need

@communicativeLake3869 It sounds like you are experiencing difficult feelings related to feeling disconnected from yourself and wanting to escape. What thoughts go through your mind when you feel most alone?

Making phone calls for needed appointments, medical and otherwise. Afraid of rejection or a nasty discovery of further austerity and being unable to pay for necessary treatment due to poverty because of disability.

@Zeraphim It feels like right now you are feeling anxious about these uncertainties surrounding your healthcare appointments and finances. I can only imagine how difficult it must be for you to worry about these things alone. How do you feel when you think about making these calls?