Weekly Prompt #18: Is loneliness a constant companion or an occasional visitor in your life?
Hello everyone, I hope you are all being easy on yourself this week.
Last week we discussed: How does depression influence your self-perception and self-esteem? Thank you to all who participated and shared their thoughts for discussion. I enjoyed them. I hope you all did too. If you didn't share yours, please share them here and I look forward to reading and discussing them with you.
This week's prompt: Is loneliness a constant companion or an occasional visitor in your life? How do you navigate its ebb and flow?
I wanted to start a discussion on how loneliness is affecting our lives. I look forward to hearing and discussing with you all!
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@ASilentObserver
I would say loneliness appears for me when I feel misunderstood. There is nothing worse compared to being surrounded by people but still feeling alone because there is a lack of needed connection.
When this happens, I have been working on explaining how I am feeling to those around me so they are able to support me and we are able to work through the negative feelings together.
@okarina It sounds like feeling misunderstood and lacking connection can make loneliness feel overwhelming. Explaining your feelings to loved ones so they can support you through this difficult time is a wise approach. You've clearly put thought into finding healthy ways to work through negative feelings together. What kinds of support from others have helped you feel more connected in the past?
Obs, loneliness is definitely a constant companion for me. I don't really remember a time where I had good people around me. Family, friends, colleagues.. they are all temporary, and none of whom I can really talk to. I think loneliness feeds on itself too. The more lonely I feel, the harder it is to get myself out there (or leave the house). Aside from work and going out for necessities (like groceries to feed myself), I don't really leave the house otherwise.
Yet, above all this, I long for a real companion, a friend, a potential significant other..
@ASilentObserver
@Jaeteuk Jae, so good to see you back. We missed your presence in the forums. I hope you are taking it easy on everything. I look forward to hearing your thoughts and insights and discussing them with you and everyone further.
Thank you for sharing your experience with loneliness. Feeling like you don't have people you can truly connect with on a deeper level can be difficult. Your longing to connect with others in meaningful ways is very understandable. What hopes do you still hold for finding real companionship?
@ASilentObserver: Thank you, Obs. I have been working non-stop since July, and I'm finally off this week. When I was working previously, I didn't even have much time/energy to spend time on my computer to participate in the forums or Group Chats. I only used my breaks to check and reply to short posts from my phone.
My hopes of finding a companion is minimal, almost like 1% chance. At the same time though, the thought of actually having/finding a companion is still in the back of my mind. Even with little hope, it helps with keeping my fears somewhat stable.
@Jaeteuk It sounds like you've been working very hard with little time for self-care. Having hopes and fears in the back of your mind during that time must have been difficult. You mentioned having this week off - how do you hope to spend your time?
@ASilentObserver: Fears with loneliness is constant, doesn't matter if I'm working or not. It actually gets worse during my birthday month.
This week, I've been exploring new recipes for dinner and did some cookie baking. I have another week of being home alone, except with work next week, I might not have the energy to cook as much. It's also a short week, with a possibility of working overtime, as I'll be doing 2 colleagues' job. Monday is a holiday for us.
I've also been doing a lot of reading lately. So, all week, I had been cooking, reading, listening to music, watching dramas, and sleeping in. For the first 3 weeks of September, I had been working morning shifts, so, had been waking up at 5:30am, Monday to Friday. Next week, I'm doing an another early morning shift, but, will probably need to wake up at 5am.
@Jaeteuk I hear loneliness can be difficult to cope with, especially during times when you're on your own more. It sounds like you've been keeping busy with cooking, baking, reading and watching shows. Exploring new recipes and hobbies can help pass the time. Your schedule next week does sound quite full. I hope you take it easy and focus on yourself as well.
@ASilentObserver I think it can be a bit of both. I’m a very social person and though many of the times I’m not alone I can tend to feel lonely rather quickly. I enjoy going out and having fun things to do. And because of that I feel disconnected if I don’t feel like I have someone to do those things with. Maybe it’s not a 100% accurate view of my life, but it’s how I feel.
I think loneliness hits me occasionally. I'm an introvert so I enjoy having alone time and ability to work on solo projects or research things i'm curious about. However, that doesn't mean I don't get lonely. Because i do and I currently have a lack of friends, so its hard not having someone to hang out with or just talk about deeper things.
Idk how i navigate the ebb and flow of loneliness.. probably not well. I can get very emotional, by myself because i'm more honest as a alone being i guess. And my top fear is being alone so yeah, its scary to think about.
@NerdyArtiste Thank you for sharing openly about your experience with loneliness. It sounds like while you value your alone time, not having people to connect with deeply at times leaves an ache. Please know you are not alone in your fears and struggles. How does loneliness show up for you emotionally?
@ASilentObserver
It's quite weird actually, I don't like talking to people or being touched by people and the thought of people themselves scares me, but I need to be around them. It's like I feel so lonely all the time but I don't want to interact with people. So I just go to like the library to be around people but not have to talk or interact with them. ( I usually don't pay attention to the people though, because I'm too busy reading )
@WavesofKei Thank you for sharing about your experience of feeling lonely yet not wanting interaction. It sounds like a difficult situation to feel that way but still need to be around others. What feelings arise in you when you're at the library able to be near people while focusing on reading?
@ASilentObserver
I kind of feel just a tiny but normal. I see other people hanging out with their friends and having fun, so when I'm at the library reading I sort of feel like I'm doing that too.
@WavesofKei It seems like you feel a sense of normalcy when seeing others socialize yet also a hint of loneliness when you're at the library by yourself. You seem interested in self-improvement and that is truly admirable. Please know that you are not alone in feeling this way at times. What kinds of things do you enjoy reading?
@ASilentObserver
I'm interested in many different genre's but my favorites might be both, Lgbtq and Psychological fiction.
It's my constant companion. It doens't ebb and flow it will just stay the same until I make more progress in therapy hopefully. My parents are abusive so I don't speak to them and my brother is too avoidant and won't respond to anything. My friendships are my only support but remain inconsistent and not very close. I am tired of taking on every difficulty by myself.
@Daydreamer47 It sounds like you've been facing many challenges alone and carrying a heavy burden for some time. Feeling tired from that ongoing difficult struggle is completely understandable. You don't deserve to face this alone. What kinds of support do you find most helpful for lifting your spirits during this ongoing process?
I think it's pretty constant... Especially right now, I feel totally alone + worthless. I've been trying to keep as busy as possible to distract myself. Sometimes I think I should have a big family, like a husband and 4 kids, so that I'll have people around me at all times so I don't succumb to the depression as much.
@CherryBlossoms246 It sounds like you've been struggling with loneliness and feelings of worthlessness. Those kinds of thoughts can be so difficult to face alone. I can understand why you might think having a big family around would help distract from those feelings. What sorts of things have you found, even for a short time, that lift your mood or make you feel less alone?
Lonliness is not a companiin. I wonder if I can make it each day or find a way to end my life so it can stop. 3 years is too long.
@ASilentObserver i think it depends for me. i'm always surrounded by people, so i have plenty of people time, but i feel like i have to put on a different face for that and pretend to be someone else. i'm at a point where i can be alone in a crowd and i only see bad things. there are days where i want to lock myself in my closet and days where i need people. it's really hard to understand.
@thnksfrthvnm I understand this must feel very difficult at times, wanting both connection and privacy. It's okay to feel many emotions. What kinds of things help you feel most like your true self in those moments you need people?
@ASilentObserver thank you. it's usually when i can talk about things like music with others that i feel best. music is really important to me, and it helps to have people who understand that, since not many people like the kind of music i listen to.
Sorry I am being late to the party ;) but I want to add my sentiment: The lonliest I have ever been is in the company of the wrong people. When I am being for myself I am never lonely - but when I am among people I do not resonate with - I DO feel lonely. Strange?
@BeCreative1967 It is understandable to feel lonely when around people you don't connect with on a deep level. Being in that kind of company can highlight how much we all need meaningful relationships. You are right that when we're alone, as long as we feel at peace within ourselves, loneliness is not necessarily an issue. Our worth is not defined by others. What feelings come up for you in those situations where you don't resonate with others?
