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Weekly Prompt #10: How does self-esteem impact our mental health?

ASilentObserver May 24th, 2023

Hello everyone, I hope you are all being easy on yourself this week.

Last week we discussed: How can you set realistic goals and expectations for yourself when dealing with depression? Thank you to all who participated and shared their thoughts for discussion. I enjoyed them. I hope you all did too. If you didn't share yours, please share them here and I look forward to reading and discussing them with you.

This week's prompt: How does self-esteem impact our mental health? Can a lack of self-esteem lead to depression or anxiety?

As human beings, it's natural to desire a sense of self-worth and validation from others. It's no secret that our self-esteem plays a crucial role in our mental health. Remember, your worth is not defined by external factors such as your job or achievements. By prioritizing your self-esteem, you can improve your mental health and lead a happier, more fulfilling life. Let's discuss it together!

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Jaeteuk May 24th, 2023

When depression and anxiety is seen as an emotion, something that everyone may encounter sometime in their lives; self-esteem can also been viewed as an emotion. That being said, all the emotions that we feel are all connected in one way or another. Often, one leads into the other and when each emotion is not dealt with individually, it will continue to affect one another. It also is connected in ways of either it's a trail of positive or negative emotions. So, you're either having high self-esteem, feeling less depressed/or happy, and have little anxiety; or you're having low self-esteem, which leads to feeling more depressed and have high anxiety.

All emotions make up our mental health. So, to improve it, we must work on each emotion.

@ASilentObserver

1 reply
ASilentObserver OP May 24th, 2023

@Jaeteuk Thank you for sharing your perspective on the connections between emotions and mental health. It can be insightful to explore how different feelings relate to and impact each other. How do these realizations affect your current outlook?


1 reply
Jaeteuk May 24th, 2023

Imagine a tree. Mental health is the trunk, and all the many emotions that make up our mental health is every new branch that grows out from the trunk. All the roots below the soil, are the tracks that connect our emotions, they fight with other plants for nutrients, just the same as how our emotions sometimes collide with each other and we struggle coping with it. But in the end, those roots will find an alternate route, a different plant, or even share their nutrients with those plants; and we realize that our emotions can do the same, we can try to see it in different perspectives, see if there is an alternate way to cope with it, and accept that sometimes those emotions are normal and we just need to be comfortable with it, trust ourselves, and let time dissolve it. When we are able to see that emotion in a different light, a more positive perspective, that branch will begin to sprout leaves.

The way I see emotions and mental health now, is that there is always a positive and negative side to it. A lot of the times, we hear, for example, depression is caused by some sort of chemical imbalance in our brains. Having depression is not considered as something positive that happens to us, but at the same time, at least for myself, depression has also taught me a lot of other things, and created skills that help with my everyday life. My observation skills of people have become more accurate over the years, others often say that I'm insightful, it has made me have more compassion and empathy for others, and it allows me to help others through my experiences. I also like to say I have a positive side effect that comes with my depression, which is sometimes, even with the lack of sleep, when I need to work, I'll still feel energized, as if I'm functioning on adrenaline. Even when I haven't slept well for a few days straight, I do not feel tired or lazy when I'm at work. I call this the positive side effect of my depression, so in a sense, insomnia is a good thing. After a week, that is when I start to feel tired, and actually get a better night's sleep.

My mental health road to recovery had taken a long time, although I don't think it'll ever be erased from my life, but I have better skills and strategies to cope with it. It also really helps to have support through 7 Cups ever since I became a Member, although I do wish that I have support from people I live with and from people I work with. But to have support here is better to not have any support at all.

@ASilentObserver

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purpleTree4652 May 24th, 2023

@ASilentObserver

Hi, ASO,

How does self-esteem impact our mental health? Can a lack of self-esteem lead to depression or anxiety?

I think it can impact our mental health greatly. I grew up with a birth defect on my face. I had a sister near my age who everyone thought was very beautiful. She was often favored over me. I instead, got comments and questions about my deformed face. I think it helped to make me depressed since very early in my childhood. And it caused a feeling of no worth. That caused anxiety as to who would want me.

5 replies
ASilentObserver OP May 24th, 2023

@purpleTree4652 I hear how challenging those experiences and feelings have been for you from a young age. Having comments made about your appearance can be hurtful and impact self-esteem. Your feelings of worthlessness and anxiety sound very painful.


bestVase7265 May 25th, 2023

It is so nice to hear more of your story. Thanks for sharing.

How are things going for you in general at the moment?@purpleTree4652

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purpleTree4652 May 25th, 2023

@bestVase7265

thanks. kitty on lap. cant type.

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bestVase7265 May 26th, 2023

They do make it really hard, don't they? Our one cat is very insistent for about 5 minutes once or twice a day. She bites my computer or me if I do not give her complete attention and pets. Then she leaves and wanders off. Still not a lap kitty, but better than nothing. I hope that you have a lovely lap kitty. @purpleTree4652

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purpleTree4652 May 26th, 2023

@bestVase7265

Things are going ok. I have felt overwhelmed and have been just resting a lot. I take care of some important business or unpack some boxes, and then rest. I'm really down to the last 10 boxes or so, but am also down to almost no room left. My apartment has become like a puzzle. I am looking for spaces to fit the last of my belongings.

Yes, I have a nice kitty. She is 12 this summer (I think). Since she is my only pet, I do try to give her attention when she asks for it.

How old are your kitties?

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bestVase7265 May 27th, 2023

You are going to find good spots for things. It is great that you are doing things more slowly.

Your cat sounds lovely and a lot like our older cat. Ours are much younger and pretty wild. The younger one is about a year and a half and the older one is about three and a half. They are a bit more interested in each other than us, but it is good that they are friends. @purpleTree4652

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slowdecline48 May 24th, 2023

That's all well & good, but every time this statement is made it always leaves an unanswered question...

"your worth is not defined by external things such as your job or your achievements". Yes, great. Then what is it defined by? To posit that someone or something has worth inevitably implies that said worth is based on/defined by something. To merely assert that one is worthy as a human being says nothing; what do you back that statement up with?

8 replies
blueAngel00 May 25th, 2023

@ slowdecline48


Self-worth can absolutely be influenced, usually temporarily, by external sources or things. But how a person views their worth is usually comprised of how they rate their contributions in different aptitudes, what they feel they "deserve", and how they are themselves as a whole.

For instance, someone could be great at their job, but don't see their work as a contribution to anything important. Even getting a promotion doesn't change their perception and they'd probably wonder why they got a promotion in the first place, and constantly worry that their job will "find out how wrong they were" about the person's performance. Or maybe they don't value their work the same as their boss, and so they're constantly anxious, waiting for their boss to finally have a revelation. In both scenarios, the person's self-worth SHOULD be improved, but because it's not defined by external things, or actually will probably do the exact opposite and DECREASE their self-worth, asking with their self-confidence and self-esteem.

I think self-image is defined more by negative self talk, which the belief system the self talk is based on, is actually learned behavior, but a person puts a lot more emphasis on what they learned (subconsciously) than what's warranted.

If I were to say self-worth is defined by something external, it would be by how much the significant and authoritative people in their childhood, mainly, showed love, affection, GOOD attention, and encouragement.

Just my 2¢.

🐻

5 replies
blueAngel00 May 25th, 2023

That should have read "how they SEE themselves" not "how they are themselves".

2 replies
blueAngel00 May 27th, 2023

Wow, I really need to apologize to anyone who reads my comment. I just now re-read it and OMG the typos and erroneous computer "auto-corrections" were horrendous. If you don't understand even HALF of what I said, no one could blame you.

(One more example of why we should be able to edit our own posts/comments...if the edits need someone to monitor and approve/disapprove them, it would be better than no editing at all, like it is now!)

Anyway, sorry, everyone.

1 reply
slowdecline48 May 28th, 2023

@blueAngel00 Is it possible for you to turn off the autocorrect/text prediction feature? Maybe poke around your word processing program & see if you can do that.

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ASilentObserver OP May 26th, 2023

@slowdecline48 agreed with you slow. I hear your frustration with the way worth is often discussed in an incomplete manner. Focusing on what defines your worth can be challenging and leave you seeking more. Would you be willing to share more about what comes up for you as you consider what defines worth?


I am glad we are discussing this. Very important topic.
1 reply
slowdecline48 May 28th, 2023

@ASilentObserver

... The only answer I have as to what defines self-worth is whether or how well a person fulfils his/her purpose in life. Of course that brings up the question of what that purpose is, exactly. That quiery can only be answered by whoever is living the life itself. In short, only you can figure out or discover what your purpose is in your time on this planet. No one else can answer that for you.

Though I cannot prove it conclusively, I do believe that one major reason why depression (& general dissatisfaction with life) is so ubiquitious among people in the US & maybe much of the rest of the world is because so many people either don't know what their purpose is, or do know & either can't or won't live in such a way as to fulfil it.

I'm sorry that I can't give a more specific answer, but that's the only one I have.

In my case, my life's purpose is to create...to make my ideas real, to conjure up things which previously did not exist. For me, doing just about anything else is time misspent. When I do a drawing or painting or project of some kind & it comes out right, that's when my sense of human worth is at its highest. Because I know it is what I'm supposed to be doing. That's how you know when you've found your purpose: you have that inner conviction, which does not come from anything outside yourself. You know without having to be told.

The above answer is good for me, but it's not the right answer for everyone. Other people must find their own paths.

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NewYorker11 May 24th, 2023

@ASilentObserver

a lack of self-esteem can lead to depression and a host of other symptoms of mentall illness.

having self-confidence and self-esteem is very important because it encourages one's own self to be the best they can be, without trying to compete with the imagery of other people.


2 replies
ASilentObserver OP May 26th, 2023

@NewYorker11 Good points New. I hear the impact a lack of self-esteem and self-confidence can have on one. Encouraging one's self to be the best version seems important. What aspects of exploring and building self-esteem feel most meaningful to focus on moving forward?

1 reply
NewYorker11 May 26th, 2023

@ASilentObserver

thanks for the kind words @ASilentObserver !

exploring and building self-esteem... good question, and i suggest to any person, analyzing one's own self, attitude towards life, and goals. then, set goals and work towards achieving them, keeping in mind that setting realistic goals and achieving them can and will make you feel better about yourself!


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compassionateCar7091 May 26th, 2023

Mt self esteem is everything if I don't feel good about myself its hard to function mentally as well as physically. That's why I take time for my morning walks it helps t

Me throughout the day when I have low self esteem, I think of how I accomplished my mini goal that morning and then my self worth is better the rest of the day when my depression starts up

1 reply
ASilentObserver OP May 26th, 2023

@compassionateCar7091 very cool. thank you for adding your thoughts Car. <3 I hear your self-esteem and self-confidence are closely tied to your mental and physical wellbeing. Focusing on small accomplishments and daily goals seems to boost your self-worth. Your self-awareness and willingness to prioritize self-care are strengths.

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WharfRat May 26th, 2023

Self-esteem is a major problem for me. I wsa taught when I was very young that I was inferior. I was the smallest boy in the school. I didn't know how to play any sports. I was weak. I felt very bad about myself, definitely. I felt that I wasn't as good as the other boys. Everyone laughed at me, the girls and the boys.

After going through all of the abuse throughout my childhood, it got worse and worse. As I grew up, I stayed weak and small. I was the laughingstock of the school.

I have C-PTSD, anxiety, depression, etc., and I think that my low self-esteem has compounded those problems and made it more difficult for me to seek help, and it continues to make my recovery very difficult.


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ASilentObserver OP May 26th, 2023

@WharfRat I hear how deeply the abuse and mistreatment you've endured has impacted your sense of self and self-esteem. You've described immense strength in surviving and continuing to seek connection despite the challenges you face. What aspects of exploring and rebuilding your self-worth feel most meaningful for you to focus on at this time? Please know we are all here with you to listen to and support. Whar. you are not alone in this.

1 reply
WharfRat May 27th, 2023

@ASilentObserver

I try to think about the things that I'm good at doing. I can do a little writing. I've written a few stories. Two of them need more work. I need to write at least one more draft of each one.

Receiving compliments helps a lot, and I get those every now and then in my peer-to-peer group meetings.


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