Weekly Prompt #5: What negative thoughts keep running through your head?
Hello everyone, I hope you are all being easy on yourself this week.
Last week we discussed A Jar Full of Life. Thank you to all who participated and shared their thoughts for discussion. I enjoyed them. I hope you all did too. If you didn't share yours, please share them here and I look forward to reading and discussing them with you.
This week's prompt: What negative thoughts keep running through your head?
I believe sharing and talking about them can help lessen their power. Negative thoughts can be overwhelming and stressful.
Let's get started and share your thoughts with us.
@ASilentObserver Frequently, I get this a pessimistic notion that the life I aspire to live may not be attainable. Instead, I might have to forfeit many things in my existence, leading to a loss of my individuality
I keep having thoughts that I am not good enough at what I do, that everyone else does the job much better than I do and that's why they keep being praised for it and I don't.. (I'm very socially anxious and quiet at work although I have been working on this and been connecting with my colleagues much better)
I feel constantly ugly, and feel like no one likes me 😞
Lately the possibility that the next time the lease is up, if I decide to renew it the rent may rise sufficiently that I can't afford it...which means the next stop would be the streets. Which brings up a pile of other questions, like "When will I get into my first bumf1ght?" & "Would it be best to stay in my current state of residence, or take a chance & get on a bus to somewhere else?"... A persistent one is "How can I go into any employment/placement programs for homeless folks when I'm disabled?" because, in fact, I am.
These thoughts inspire as much quiet nervousness as they do any depression. I've started preparing for this eventuality, which helps a little bit...
Aside from that, when I have depressive episodes (& when I don't) the usual thought is of my aging, its inevitable consequences & my inevitable de@th....yeah, I'm pretty morbid.
@slowdecline48 Those are complex and concerning thoughts. How are you holding up with all this on your mind?
@ASilentObserver Right now I'm not doing badly... Have decided to renew the lease because the increase is, for me, not that high.
Whether I will stay here in 2024-25 is still up in the air, though.
Mortality I can do nothing about since I am as human as the rest of us. Maybe it's for the best...some of us want to live forever, but that is unlikely in the foreseeable future. Even if we manage to hack human cell division & figure out a way for a human body to repair itself without end & thus stay perpetually young & functional, certain problems--daunting ones--would crop up for anyone who undergoes such a treatment. Imagine becoming progressively more senile as the years go by. Even if we solve that problem (I don't see how), the chances of accidental death would rise as a person's life keeps playing out. It's a matter of odds, & the laws of statistics are as real as those of gravity & electromagnetism.
That my friend isn’t answering my texts because I’ve upset her at some point. I keep thinking that she might have died and I’ll be the very last to know (and yes, I knocked on wood after typing that).
@integrityblues I'm sorry this situation is causing you distress. That sense of uncertainty can be difficult. How are you feeling about not knowing what's going on?
I hate not knowing what’s going on and tend worry a lot.
I ended up texting her asking if I did something wrong, and she eventually replied saying that her phone reception was spotty where she traveled to. That I didn’t do anything wrong and she’d be back this Sunday.
We’ll have a phone call sometime today! The worst that happened was she may have caught a cold during the trip on the airplane.
My hurting of those I cared for
@Sonicmario2002 I'm sorry to hear you're experiencing hurt. Feelings of hurting others can be difficult. How have these feelings been for you? You're not alone in experiencing challenging emotions.
They're really tough for me, I felt I'll never live myself down for my unintentional hurt of others, i never intend harm and just wanted to interact, but thank you for understanding me, it really means a lot
Time is limited and life shortens with each passing day, yet here I am still the same, stuck in this goo, while I see all else run way ahead of me.
@YourListener00 It sounds like you're feeling stuck and left behind while others progress ahead. You must feel frustrated not being able to move forward at your own pace. Know that every person has their own unique journey - while comparisons can be difficult, trying to be patient and accepting of where you're at now may help.