@faithfulCoconut848 I know what you mean. I found that I was making my paintings for others. Then one day when I visited my daughter I saw all my Christmas and Birthday cards framed and I realised that there was pleasure in giving but so much more pressure in receiving. I stopped sending hand-painted cards after that. As a family, we all agreed to stop sending cards, but I realised that the meaning of my cards was to really freeze frame a moment in their life and preserve it.
Now, I paint for me! Think what you want to hold in frozen scraps of time and see forever! I choose to paint for me now, something may inspire me but often I just doodle paint, or grab a pencil and neurographically draw!
Some examples of neurographic art, it is akin to mindful art
Listening - One Step At A Time!