2) Community Questions and Answers - The Basis of Mental Health Awareness and Support

@SoulfullyAButterfly

Sometimes, in our lives, we feel like we are not good for someone close to us, such as family members and friends. Most psychologists consider this as a problem with many factors involved. It is important to point out the importance of finding the real reason behind those feelings, to learn how to do the right thing, when we find ourselves troubled with such a question of being good enough.

Admitting that we have a problem are very good news, because acceptance is first step to become a better person and to know our self-worth. However, how can we love someone else if we don't love our own self. We can conclude that, working on our self-love is crucial part of everything. By identifying our inner critics, negative self-talk, self-doubt and other self-confidence killing factors, we can start to remove the feelings of not being enough, if the starting problem was our own self, and not the other person. 

Having someone to support us during those times can be refreshing and reassuring, so don't be afraid to talk with your loved ones and communicate what is happening in your life. At the end of the day, we are humans and it is normal to feel, no matter what is the emotion, but it is important to know how to overcome and handle it.

@SoulfullyAButterfly 

Question: What to do when you feel you are not good enough for someone?

Provided Keywords: parents, partner, self-esteem, social media, self-worth, good news, the best way, first step, human beings, children, therapy, self-love, family members, a better person, good time, good luck, inner critic, self-doubt, negative self-talk, the real reason, whole life, amazing person, self-confidence, voice, right thing, healthy relationship, great things, information, communication, end of the day

Answer: You are not alone in feeling that you are not good enough for someone. This feeling can come from many sources, such as your parents, your partner, your self-esteem, your social media, or your self-worth. However, this feeling is not true. You are a unique and valuable human being, and you deserve love and respect.

To overcome this feeling, you may need to change your negative self-talk and your self-doubt. The following are not tips or advice, just some ideation that you may consider and I hope that you may find them helpful.

Finding out the real reason why you feel this way: Is it based on facts or assumptions? Is it influenced by external factors, such as family members, peer pressure, or comparison with others?

Questioning the negative thoughts: When you think that you are not good enough, ask yourself if it is true or not. What evidence do you have for or against it? How would you respond if a friend said the same thing about themselves?

Replacing the negative thoughts with positive ones: Focus on your strengths and achievements, not your weaknesses and failures. Remind yourself of all the things that make you a good and worthy person. Use affirmations, such as "I am good enough", "I am worthy of love", or "I am capable of great things".

 Getting support from others: You can get help from people who care about you, such as your friends, your children, or your therapist. Talk to them about how you feel and what you need. They can offer you emotional support, validation, and encouragement.

Taking care of yourself and being grateful: Do things that make you happy and relaxed, such as sleeping well, eating well, exercising, and pursuing your hobbies. Also, be grateful for what you have in your life, such as your health, your opportunities, or your passions.

You have the power and the potential to change the way you feel and think about yourself. You can practice self-love and self-confidence, and have a healthy relationship with yourself and others. You can be a better person and do great things with your life. You can have a good time and good luck. You can silence your inner critic and listen to your voice. You can do the right thing and be happy. You are an amazing person who deserves to be loved and respected for who you are.

@SoulfullyAButterfly

Question: What to do when you feel you are not good enough for someone?

Provided Keywords: parents, partner, self-esteem, social media, self-worth, good news, best way, first step, human beings, children, therapy, self-love, family members, better person, good time, good luck, inner critic, self-doubt, negative self-talk, real reason, whole life, amazing person, self-confidence, voice, right thing, healthy relationship, great things, information, communication, end of the day

Feeling not good enough often comes from low self-esteem. As a human being, we tend to seek perfection and in order to achieve that feeling we end up having self-doubt. Even though we try our best to portray our best selves to someone, our inner critic tells us that we will never be good enough for someone we love. Social media also sometimes influences such negative self-talk.  The first step to reduce such negative thoughts is to be aware and communicate with the person. End of the day communication is a way that can lead us to healthy relationships.

Personally, I believe once in a while we all have that kind of feeling. When we recognize the real reason behind having such emotions it is easier for us to work on it. Including self-love practices (eg. gratitude, affirmations, etc) in our day-to-day life seems like the right thing to do in this case. 

@SoulfullyAButterfly

Note: You are welcome to click the question link and submit your written answer for community publication once done as this is an existing question!

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Question: What to do when you feel you are not good enough for someone?

Provided Keywords: parents, partner, self-esteem, social media, self-worth, good news, best way, first step, human beings, children, therapy, self-love, family members, better person, good time, good luck, inner critic, self-doubt, negative self-talk, real reason, whole life, amazing person, self-confidence, voice, right thing, healthy relationship, great things, information, communication, end of the day

Answer: I feel that when you are taking a moment of reflection and noticing that you don't feel aligned to those you love. It stems from deep rooted trauma from the past. This is not your fault nor is it something you should feel terrible for. Nowadays, society creates this perfect image of what “perfect” counterparts are when in reality we all have flaws and trauma that we all are healing from. Please continue to be gracious with yourself, because at the end of the day you are doing the very best you can, even if it does not seem like it.

My response: Here are some of the strengths I have noticed overall from everyone 

1. Openness: I feel that everyone that has responded to this question has allowed themselves to feel vulnerable in some form or fashion. Allowing themselves a moment to think back when they too felt this way around those they loved or even with themselves as an individual person.

2. Respect: I feel that everyone also displayed an enormous amount of respect for this question because this is something that we all feel at some point in time, whether it is through a form of trauma or just a low moment. We all have been there every once and a while. 

3. Gratitude: I feel that everyone also displayed gratitude for one another, showing compassion for each others' individual responses and reflections. 

Bonus strength: 

4. Courage: I feel that everyone that has taken the time to put thought into their answers, think back to a time that they have felt like this, or even witnessed a loved one feel like this. It gave them the internal strength to be open about the experience and feel the energy of the answers they gave or the level of kindness displayed in each answer.

@SoulfullyAButterfly:

What to do when you feel you are not good enough for someone?

Feeling not good enough for someone, whether parents, partners, or peers, often stems from self-doubt and negative self-talk influenced by social media and comparisons.

1) The first step towards overcoming these feelings is recognizing your self-worth by ignoring others' opinions.

2) Practicing self-love and addressing the inner critic can boost self-esteem and self-confidence.

3) Open communication with family members or a partner can clarify misunderstandings and reinforce your value in these relationships.

4) Therapy is a valuable tool for unpacking these feelings, understanding their actual reasons, and developing strategies to counteract them.

Remember, you're a fantastic person deserving of healthy relationships. You can strengthen your sense of worth by self-acceptance and pursuing personal growth.

Question: What to do when you feel you are not good enough for someone?

Provided Keywords: parents, partner, self-esteem, social media, self-worth, good news, best way, first step, human beings, children, therapy, self-love, family members, better person, good time, good luck, inner critic, self-doubt, negative self-talk, real reason, whole life, amazing person, self-confidence, voice, right thing, healthy relationship, great things, information, communication, end of the day

Answer:
Feeling not good enough for someone else is something that is based on your self-esteem. When things aren't going well in our lives, there may be times when you think you are not good enough for the people in your life. There may be various sources that are making you feel this way such as:

1. External Validation. Whether it be your partner, your parents, or your friends, there are moments where others' opinions can influence you. While getting approval from other people can make you feel good, this can make you too dependent on outside opinion. It can also make you develop a harsh inner critic that can make you feel like you're not doing enough to please others.

2. Comparison. Comparison, especially when being done by someone you view as important can also be a source of negative self-esteem. I've also had the experience of being compared to my more successful cousins by my family members. It made me doubt myself and feel that I have to prove my self-worth according to their standards.

In this age of technology, it's getting easier to connect with other people such as friends and family members through social media. However, people usually only share certain moments of their lives (such as certain happy or joyous moments in their lives). Thus, it can give you the image that other people are doing well in life with no struggles. This can make you compare yourself to other people and trigger negative self-talk.

To overcome this, there are a few things you can do to improve your self-esteem such as:
1. Challenge your negative self-talk. When you catch yourself talking negatively about yourself, try to question why you're thinking like that. See if you can also respond to the thought with evidence or concrete actions you did in the past to respond to it.

2. Evaluate your relationships. Some of the relationships you're keeping in your life might support your negative image of yourself. Evaluate the relationships you have in your life and whether they are supportive or destructive to your efforts to improve your self-esteem and self-worth.

3. External Support. You can get support from other people who care about you such as your family, your friends, your partner, your children, etc. You can also talk to a professional therapist to help sort out your thoughts and support you on your journey to self-improvement.

4. Gratefulness Exercise. Fostering gratitude about things in your life or your positive attributes. You can do this verbally by recording yourself or writing out what you feel grateful about in a journal. With this, you can also look back at the things you are grateful for and help you improve your self-esteem and how you view yourself.

Keep in mind that different solutions work on different people and there might be other solutions that fit you more that I haven't written yet in my answer.

At the end of the day, I hope you will be able to recognize that you are an amazing person and that you don't have to be perfect to live a happy life. I hope you can believe in yourself and that you can do great things as long as you set your mind to it💖

Written with love by Sakura💮

@SoulfullyAButterfly

What to do when you feel you are not good enough for someone?

This is such an unpleasant and frustrating feeling to experience, albeit very common. Firstly, it’s important to always try to remember and build on our self-worth. We all have strengths and weaknesses, things we are naturally good at and things we need to improve on. Striving to be a better person every day is a most noble cause, and one that is definitely worth pursuing. However, one should focus on personal and self-improvement, rather than trying to please others. Self-confidence and self-love are a must in this process. Because, at the end of the day, the person we most need to impress is ourselves. I also firmly believe that connection and mutual appreciation should come naturally, especially in close relationships, whatever their nature. If it’s not meant to happen, then acceptance should be put into practice. Lastly, you should be kind to yourself and respect your well-being at all times. This makes life way more enjoyable and satisfying.

@SoulfullyAButterfly

Question: What to do when you feel you are not good enough for someone?

Feeling like you are not good enough for someone can be very discouraging making you believe that there must be something wrong with you. Our inner voice takes on the role of the inner critic and engages in negative self-talk, leading to self-doubt and a feeling of unworthiness. 

There are different reasons that can make us believe that we are not good enough for someone. It often stems from a low self-worth - what you believe about your worth and value as in what do you believe that you deserve. It‘s an internal evaluation of yourself.

Whereas self-esteem is based on external factors like what you accomplished or what you are good at. What abilities and skills you believe you do well. 

Self-worth can be seen as a foundation that is rather consistent throughout different circumstances and throughout your whole life in comparison to self-esteem which changes depending on how you are feeling, how others might view and approve you, how you compare yourself to others, etc. A  low self-esteem can however impact your self-worth negatively.

As a human being you are worthy of being loved and treated with respect. Please have in mind that your self-worth is not dependent of nobody - not your partner, your parents, nor what social media might suggests or says. 

There are different ways on how you can improve your self-worth. Good news is, you took the first step already by acknowledging how you are feeling and by asking this question. The following information is a list of suggestions on what you can do. You can see them as tips to help you get started on your journey, but at the end of the day it’s your decision if and which one(s) you may choose to follow:

1. Show compassion towards yourself. Start by being kind to yourself and by accepting yourself with your perfect imperfections, because we all have them, thats what makes us human in the first place.
2. Do something that is fun. Things that you enjoy doing and that you are good at. This can reinforce you positively and leave you with a strong sense of capability. If you don‘t know what you enjoy doing, best way to start could be by doing something you once enjoyed as a child. 
3. Call out your inner critic and challenge your negative thoughts. Whenever you catch your inner critic talking, start asking yourself if it is true and try to communicate with yourself in the same way you would with a friend that is beating themselves up.
4. Rather than comparing yourself to others, focus and celebrate on how far you have come and what progress you made. The outcome is secondary.
5. Surrounding yourself with the right people. Those that want to see you succeed and will encourage you rather than people that talk negative about/to you and tear you down.

@SoulfullyAButterfly

Question: What to do when you feel you are not good enough for someone?

Provided Keywords: parents, partner, self-esteem, social media, self-worth, good news, best way, first step, human beings, children, therapy, self-love, family members, better person, good time, good luck, inner critic, self-doubt, negative self-talk, real reason, whole life, amazing person, self-confidence, voice, right thing, healthy relationship, great things, information, communication, end of the day

Sometimes you may doubt yourself questioning if you're good enough for someone or not. These kind of inner critic usually starts from past experiences (loved ones like parents, family members or partner making you feel like you're not good enough or is unworthy of respect) or unhealthy social media habits.

In cases, where one don't feel like they're a good human being for someone, they tend to blame themselves but this issue can be fixed. 

1. Accept yourself and know your worth: I understand it's really hard to accept and love yourself when you are having negative self-talk, but trust me, you're worthy of love and respect and the one who deserves to stay with you will love you for who you are. Starting with the basic practice like building self-confidence, self-esteem and self-love will tell you what a great human being you are.
   
2. Communication: Healthy communication is key to any successful relation. So opening up about how you feel about your relationship with your friend or partner clarifies everything. If they love you, they'll support you and let you know how amazing of a person you are. But in case, they contrast there, you know who's not fit to be around you. Surrounding yourself with better person who spreads positivity is really crucial for your overall personal and spiritual growth. 
3. Self-Care: Being kind and compassionate to yourself aims to improve your emotional, physical and mental well-being. You don't need to allocate a separate time to self-care, taking care of yourself every moment when you're with yourself (basically 24/7) is the best self care practice.
4. Therapy: Therapy is much more than a solution for mental illness. It will be supportive with your mental health needs helping you gain new perspectives, guiding you to personal growth, mental awareness and more fulfilling life. Basically it helps you with self-discovery. 

Notes to parents: Never let your kids down even when they're wrong. There're always better ways to address the mistake children make. Even small scratch (neglecting, not appreciating enough, mishandling the case, etc.) could give the threat of infection if not treated on time. 

No matter what, just know that you're awesome and deserves to be loved. You're never less for the one who chose to stay with you. The right person will love you for who you are 💛

@SoulfullyAButterfly 

Question: What to do when you feel you are not good enough for someone?

Provided Keywords: parents, partner, self-esteem, social media, self-worth, good news, best way, first step, human beings, children, therapy, self-love, family members, better person, good time, good luck, inner critic, self-doubt, negative self-talk, real reason, whole life, amazing person, self-confidence, voice, right thing, healthy relationship, great things, information, communication, end of the day

It is easy to doubt one's self-worth if you grew up exposed to negative feedback about who you are as a person. Negative feedback can blur the reality that everyone has strengths and weaknesses that help create their uniqueness as an individual. It can be hard not to label these attributes as good or bad, however practicing staying non-judgemental will help look at these attributes in a more objective way. Ask yourself, what are my strengths? What do my strengths bring to the table when it comes to relationships? How do my strengths compensate for any areas that might need work? You can use affirmations to help build self-esteem, they are simple daily reminders either placed in a journal or on post-its that identify positive characteristics about the self. You can ask people in your environment, whether they be co-workers, friends, family, church members, what they think your strengths are, so you get direct feedback from those you trust. Reversing negative internal dialog takes work, but it is possible. Surrounding yourself with positive reinforcers will help break down the built-up negative Identity into one that is more flexible, feels acceptable, and increases confidence. I hope your journey of self-discovery leads you to feeling more comfortable perceiving yourself as an asset in relationships.