2) Community Questions and Answers - The Basis of Mental Health Awareness and Support

Questioning if we are good enough can be common. As human beings, we tend to want to be liked and accepted by others. However a lot of times our inner critic can be very loud and convince us that we are not good enough.

The real reason for this thought process might not always be easily apparent. It can have to do with past experiences people may have had as children. It could have been that their parents placed unrealistic expectations on them, or had negative experiences with partners, friends, or family members. Social Media can also give us an unrealistic picture of people’s lives which can further decrease our self-esteem. On social media, people tend to highlight the positive more; it doesn’t mean that they just have good luck or are a better person than you, but they might not be showing the negative parts of their lives.

The good news is that we can actively work on this area and boost our self-worth. The first step is recognizing that our mindset might need some adjustment, and from there on there are many ways that can help us see ourselves in a more positive light, be it through therapy, self-love, support from healthy relationships, looking up information on how to boost your self-esteem and of course communicating with others when we don’t our best.

There is no best way to go about this, different things work for different people, and you might have to try a few methods before you find the right thing for you. Remember to be patient with yourself, as changing negative self-talk takes time. At the end of the day, you should give yourself a pat on the back for noticing this pattern. Tell yourself that you are an amazing person and that with practice you will be able to decrease these feelings of self-doubt and boost your self-confidence.

Question: What to do when you feel you are not good enough for someone?

It is fairly common to find oneself low on self-esteem: "You're not what your parents expected you to be", "Your partner is probably starting to think that they deserve better (and they might be right)"...this kind of negative self-talk invades our minds, our inner-critic very easily stifling the faint voice inside our heads telling us to go easy on ourselves. The information revolution and the advent of social media has unfortunately only worsened things in a way. Feeling inferior to someone looking at the pictures they post, judging their lives to be perfect just looking at their social media feeds. You then get into the much-dreaded comparison game, and before you know it, your whole life seems somehow 'less meaningful' than somebody else's.

Here's the good news: you're not alone in this. More often than not, the real reason for the lack of self-worth is us defining our life by things: things that we do, things that we think we are, or things that other people think we are or should do. The first step towards self-love and acceptance is an absolute detachment from these 'things': remember that you are not your looks, your grades, your job, the material wealth you own, or other people's expectations. At the end of the day, your life is one that you create with your own satisfaction and experiences. Think of it as a journey to becoming a better person, a better version of the already amazing person you are, where you're allowed to make mistakes as a stepping stone to making great things happen. Perfection is an illusion, so stop trying to chase it. Taking it one day at a time is the best way to self-love. A highly recommended way is journaling. It helps you organize your thoughts and put things into perspective. Make daily notes to track your progress and keep yourself motivated. As human beings, we thrive on communication, which is the key to any healthy relationship. The right thing to do is to try talking things out with your loved ones, be it your partner or family members: be open with them about whatever is bothering you, whatever you think they should know, so that you can work together to come to a solution. Therapy might be a great way to receive professional help to manage your emotions better and handle negative thoughts effectively.

All in all, the key to erasing self-doubt on the way to absolute self-confidence is to take a step back, and realize that you're enough. You're doing your best after all. Making mistakes only proves that you're human. Try putting a positive spin on things: any mistake you make has a lesson hidden inside it. Try decoding it and use it as an aid for self-improvement. Stay positive, stay strong! Good luck!

What to do when you feel you are not good enough for someone?

As we progress through life, we find ourselves constantly striving to become better in the things we do, the things we say, who we are, our thoughts and opinions. Be it towards our friends, co-workers, parents, partners, children etc. However, there are times when we tend to doubt our self worth; the inner critic within us starts to point things out that challenge our thoughts and self-confidence. This is when that little voice in your head might coax you into negative self-talk; bringing along with it self-doubt and negative thoughts, telling you that you are not good enough for someone. This could influence a number of factors such as communication with your near and dear ones when you may start to feel as though anything you say would be of no use. When it comes to social media, you might also find yourself comparing to others, which further pushes takes you away from seeing your worth. Understanding the real reasons why this occurs is important; one of them could be due to a lack of self-love, which every single person deserves to have their whole life. Self-love and self-acceptance are ways of accepting yourself for who you are; all your flaws and strengths and loving yourself in a way that would affirm your self-worth.

So, the first step into doing the right thing for yourself and for others, is if you could take the time to understand that you are an amazing person, brimming with authenticity and good things to give; grounded with purpose, value, humility and gratitude. Some of the ways in which you could explore these, is through gratitude journaling, therapy, and gaining insight pertaining to positive psychology. This would hopefully in time, increase your self-esteem and encourage a healthy relationship between yourself and those around you as well! The good news is that when you start to see yourself in a better light, you can achieve great things, for yourself and for others.

The amazing thing about humanity is that each and every person is different in some ways and similar in some; but that is why we have the opportunity to learn from others and inspire them as well! At the end of the day, we are imperfect human beings that revel in the hope of becoming better people, through our experiences and mistakes. You are beautiful, you are enough

@SoulfullyAButterfly

In our lives, we met so many different people with different personalities. Everyone is not same. Everyone has different thinking and different perceptions. Sometimes, we meet people who don't like us. We can meet them in our real life as well as at social media or online sites. If we see in our real life, there are some people who don't like us especially for some things. Like we can take example of some of our friends or even our partner or parents. They don't hate us for sure. But sometimes they don't like us for some particular reasons or it can be anything behind it. And after knowing about it, we feel bad and it's obvious to feel bad. Due to this,we start doubting ourself, negative thoughts starts coming, our self confidence starts getting down. And it's natural to happen because sometimes we get to know this from them whom we love or trust. But, we should believe on ourselves. It's not possible that everyone whom we meet they will like us. So, we can't expect same from everyone. They have different thinking to understand you. But, you know yourself better than anyone else. And you know that, you are an amazing person. Moreover, everything has two aspects, Positive and negative. And, we should always try to focus on positive. And, the positive aspect is to think about those people who likes and trust you. There are lots of people like your family and friends who loves and care about you. Moreover, it's not just about people, it's about yourself and you should trust and love yourself most. No one is perfect. But we can improve day by day. So, we should try to become better person and focus on our self confidence. If we are right own our place, then we shouldn't be sad or feeling down if other people are trying to prove you wrong because you know yourself that you are right and good. And live for yourself, love yourself, believe yourself, care for yourself because you are really awesome ❤

@SoulfullyAButterfly

We understand that there are times when we want to be in someone's good books or liked by them.

It is natural to feel self-doubts and a feeling of not being good enough for someone, though chances are they might not be thinking the same.

In case if someone is a new person , would you like to give yourself a chance and get into communication with them to know each other more. So will know how amazing person you are”.

You might have read or heard about it in News. People with a perfect body or perfect personality or the richest also fail in making relationships successful. So, there could be many real reasons behind it, for example inner criticism, negative self-talk, high expectations, environment around him or him many more.

If looking situation in other way around like if someone is whom you know from long time

i.e., parents, family, friends or partner. Then please take a deep breath and Ask yourself following question

How often do you get this feeling of not being enough for others (self-critic)?

Do you think your self-esteem( person values oneself) is low?

Do you think you are kept to other priorities than oneself?

Had you been honest communication with them?

Are you into healthy relationships(trust, commitment, respect for each other) ?

Hope this question will help you to be more aware about your situation.

If you like reading then you could find a good article on social media on how to improve self-worth and self-esteem. Like self-talk, self -love, therapy and many more,

At the end of day, it you who is going to remain forever with oneself so dear

“Love yourself as you deserve it, Accept yourself as nobody perfect, Believe yourself as You can do it and Keep Growing ”

I see a very caring person in you and I believe you would overcome this situation.

Question: What to do when you feel you are not good enough for someone?

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Answer: Doubting your self-worth in interpersonal relationships, whether it be with your family members (i.e. your parents) or even a romantic partner, can impede the development and maintenance of a healthy relationship with them, as well as with your own self.

Many factors can contribute to a low sense of self-esteem, and negative self-talk from the voice of your inner critic is one that plays a crifical role in how you evaluate yourself. As human beings, we naturally observe others and can feel inclined to compare ourselves with how others present themselves to us in person or through social media. This can lead to feeling like you aren't "good enough" for something or someone.

The first step to improving your feelings of self-doubt is to focus on boosting your self-confidence through practicing self-love. At the end of the day, you spend the most time with your own self, and will do so for your whole life! In order to feel like a better person, we should be kind and mentally tell ourselves, "I am an amazing person!". Great things can be achieved in good time if we take small, but consistent, baby steps to help develop better habits and patterns of thought.

If therapy is not a viable or desired option for you to consider, there's good news: we can focus instead on taking small steps towards being kinder to ourselves. Making a list of some things you like about yourself can help you come up with positive statements about yourself and foster more positive communication with yourself. If you're comfortable with reaching out to others, you could also confide in someone you trust about the matter and come up with positive statements about each other.

Good luck!

@SoulfullyAButterfly

What to do when you feel you are not good enough for someone?

If you feel you are not good enough for someone, you must evaluate it objectively. Are you not good enough for him/her because of different interests or personality or lifestyle traits you have for example you like sciences and they like arts, or that you are more vocal, and the other person is an introvert, or you are generous in your spending and the other person lives off a tight budget? If that is the case, it does not mean you are not good enough, only that you have differences that can be attractive or repulsive to someone, depending if they desire to stay in their comfort zones of similarity, or stretch out and incorporate variety.

If you feel you are not good enough for anyone then as a first step, you ought to challenge this core belief. You need to look for positives about yourself to build your self-esteem, for example the times you helped put a smile on a friend's face or volunteered for a charity drive or fed a homeless person. Next, you must change your former belief on the basis of the gathered evidence, to reflect a more accurate representation of who you are. Your new belief could be like, ''Sometimes I am interesting. Sometimes I am boring.'' Human beings are not viewed in black and white terms; there are always shades of grey. When reviewing yourself or others, having mixed feelings is a sign of maturity.

@SoulfullyAButterfly

As children, we quickly learn to adapt to our environments where we are first exposed to our parents' expectations. When we get into a relationship we are exposed to our partner's expectations. And in today’s society, we are affected by the picture social media paints which in combination with external expectations can interfere with our perceived self-worth. This can in turn cause our inner critic to awaken and our self-esteem can take a big hit where self-doubt and negative self-talk thrives. Where "We are not good enough" is a constant thought in our minds. Sometimes therapy can help us give us information and pave the best way for us to become better persons and discover the real reason why we feel that we are not good enough for someone so we can heal and improve.

One important life lesson I have learned is that we are all human beings, and it’s important to remember that at the end of the day you are an amazing person and you have a whole life ahead of you with great things to come. The first step is to create a healthy relationship with yourself and to your inner expectations and only then can you communicate and voice to the world that you are good enough just as you are. Because if you love yourself and you see your own self-worth you will feel that you are enough.

I wish you good luck and I hope my answer helps you!

Question: What to do when you feel you are not good enough for someone?

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Answer:

Not feeling good enough for someone in our life is a common human experience, I think all human beings want to become a better person, whatever that means to themselves. Some of us have felt like we could never please our parents, or other family members, others have felt we were not good enough for our partner. Or perhaps you don’t think you are good enough as a parent to your own children. Everyone experiences self-doubt at some point in their lives, I know I have many times throughout my whole life! When feeling this doubt of being good enough it can be hard to practice self-love and one’s self-esteem and self-worth can suffer.

A good first step when feeling like you are not good enough for someone is to pause and think about what the real reason you feel this way is. Has the person you don’t feel like you are good enough for actually said or done something that proves this? Or has your inner critic and negative self-talk convinced you of this based on incomplete information, misinterpretations in communication, etc. Maybe they didn’t say the right thing to make you feel loved and cared for but it was an awkwardness in how they said it, and they did not mean you were unworthy. Perhaps you saw something out of context on social media you thought was referring to you when really it was about something silly like a disagreement with an acquaintance or a game lost to a friend.

The best way to find out how someone feels about you is to discuss it with them. Any healthy relationship requires good communication. Find a good time to talk uninterrupted and voice to them how you are feeling.

If talking about it with that person feels too difficult right now, the good news is there is help. You can practice what you will say to the person in your life you are not feeling good enough for with a 7cups listener or better yet find a therapist to build up your self-confidence.

And try to remember, at the end of the day, what really matters is that you are an amazing person who can do great things, regardless of what other people may or may not think about you.

Have you ever looked at a potential romantic partner and said to yourself, “She is out of my league” or, “He could never love somebody like me”? Feeling like we are not good enough for someone is a common feeling. The good news is that being common does not make something true. So, what can we do to overcome this?

A good first step is to deconstruct your belief that you are not good enough. Being by asking yourself what does it mean to you to be good enough? Where did that definition come from? Who taught it to you? When?

Many of us received messages about not being good enough from our parents when we were young children. It can be difficult to shake these messages. But it is possible. And good information, including knowing what we are up against, can help.

Know thy enemy
A bumper sticker in my neighborhood says: “Don’t believe everything you think.” Our brains sometimes lie to us, telling us stories to keep us safe. As human beings, our brains evolved to prioritize survival. Our brains constantly scan for danger, not distinguishing between physical and emotional danger. Potential rejection gets the same brain response as a tiger in the tall grass.

Scarcity is the idea that there isn’t enough of something to go around. We witnessed scarcity at the beginning of the pandemic, as panicked consumers bought all of the toilet paper. A more insidious type of scarcity is the belief that there is a limited quantity of desirable traits, coupled with the belief that they are universally highly prized. This can show up as “I will never be _______ enough,” where the blank may be smart, talented, thin, curvy, perfect, or many others. Including good.

If comparison is the thief of joy, we are our most prolific cat burglar. We exaggerate our imperfections while imagining the object of our comparison is truly exceptional. We observe other people’s strengths and assume that they are equally gifted in every area. We construct composite strawmen. This sounds like, “I’m not pretty like _______ or popular like _______ or talented like _______ or smart like _______.” Nobody could compare favorably to this imaginary amazing person.

Then there is social media. Ugh!

Just being human and living in this world feeds our inner critic’s voice plenty of material. Like cable news, our negative self-talk may flow 24x7.

How can we counter all of this? Here are some things that have worked for me.

Realizing your worth
Acknowledge that your self-worth is inherent. You are already good enough. You were born good enough. You will be good enough your whole life. A healthy relationship with that person you don’t feel good enough for will not increase your self-worth. Nor will not being in that relationship diminish it.

Challenge your self-doubts and negative self-talk. Don’t just hang your head in shame and let pass. Deconstruct them. Where are they coming from? Are they true? Do they serve you? Are they something you really want to internalize?

Know who you are; get clear about what you are not. You are a wonderful, unique, imperfect, worthwhile person. And there are some important things that you are not. For example, you are not your body. You have a body. You may believe it is imperfect, perhaps riddled with flaws. But it isn’t you. You are not your body. You are also not your past mistakes, your family, your bank balance, your job, your diagnosis, your social status. Those things may impact your life, but they do not define you.

If there are unhelpful things in your past, especially neglect, abuse, or trauma, that make it difficult to cultivate self-confidence and self-love, consider exploring them in therapy. A qualified therapist can help you ask the right questions, deconstruct your false beliefs, identify your blind spots, and challenge your stinkin’ thinking.

Neurons that fire together wire together. The volume of negative messages coming our way doesn’t just create pathways; it wears ruts. We need to be intentional about also ingesting positive messages. Daily affirmations may sound hoaky, but they work. Occasionally ask people who love you to tell you things they like about you. Listen and take those things on board. Surround yourself with positive, supportive others—family members, friends, coworkers.

Fight your perfectionism. Acknowledge that you are a work in progress. Each tomorrow offers the hope of becoming a better person who can do great things. Today’s change doesn’t have to be big. As of 2018, the average life expectancy in the United States is 78.54 years. That is a little more than 28,667 days. A little positive change each day adds up. Focus on your progress. Celebrate the little wins.

You can’t hate your way into loving yourself. Believe in yourself. Love yourself. Take care of yourself. It’s amazing what dedicating a little time each day to self-care will do for your ability to love yourself.

Finally, exercise courage. Connecting with others and creating meaningful relationships requires vulnerability. We often want to wait until it feels safe to be vulnerable. But it is by first being vulnerable, testing the waters, that we discover safety. That requires courage.

There are no shortcuts to overcoming the feeling of not being good enough for somebody. Some things can help. Deconstructing your false beliefs, understanding common sources of negative messages, challenging your self-doubts, and embracing practices that increase your self-esteem can all help. With time and effort, you will find the best way for you. Good luck!