High Functioning: "You Look Way Too Put Together to be Crazy"
Hello Readers,
Today marks my fifth appointment in my newly acquainted journey to seek psychological wellness. In preparing for my day, which took each and every one of my spoons, I emerged showered, dressed, haired, and make-up-ed. A huge feat these days, I admit. My husband took one look at me and said,
"You look way too put together to be crazy. You should go in pajamas and slept on makeup."
This set off a light bulb in my mind in the way mental health presents itself visually in society. It's true, more often than not it is messy, however, what about the high-functioning mentally ill? What about those of us who advocate for ourselves and fight tooth and nail everyday to get out of bed and fight back through this hell? What about those who are somehow able to stand on two legs and hold a conversation for their children? What if a manic or mixed phase isn't necessarily euphoric and all-beautiful? What if depression gets dressed in the morning?
Discuss: What does manic depression look like? What have people assumed about you based on your appearance?
Additional Reading:
Psycheducation.org, Treating the Mood Spectrum, "Normal Is a Place I Visit" by Dr. Suzanne Fiala
"So yes. Im capable. Im talented. I work hard. I produce stuff. Yay me. But the price I pay for that is not being able to be anything else."
Fake it 'till you make it
Put on your happy face and don't let that world eat you alive
Go to the gym, go for a walk, read a good book, swim, smile
What happens when the fakery ends and the end becomes the way out???
What do we do then???
@braveKitten4951
A conundrum indeed! What happens when you can't even get off the couch to go to the gym? It is all a very slippery slope. It still surprises me how little people comprehend regarding mental health or how it manifests itself. How sometimes taking a shower is your greatest achievement. I have been confronted by people who I knew matter of factly suffered from anxiety and depression and coped poorly! -who still managed to cast blame and judgment on others.
@blitheSun94
Oh no I understand, I am a rapid cycling, bipolar with auditory and visual hallucinations. I have major sleep issues (my body fights it)
I've made a few suicide attempts but stopped before...the end. I live with knowing that one day...well you know...the end comes. It scares me
I've been so manic that I've driven at 180/kph, jumped out of my car with a bat and threatened the people in front of me, in one night, I bought 200 pairs on earrlings on ebay one manic, sleepness night, I've cooked elaborate meals at 3am, I must own over 100 watches,
MI is a horrible world to liven in.
Any new tales of facing stigma surrounding Bipolar Disorder?
@blitheSun94 I think that the issues, no matter what, will be the same. People see any sort of MI as being "crazy, a nutcase, head-case". But then we turn around and praise bipolars who function (Jim Carey, Carrie Fisher, etc.) and wonder why someone would kill themselves (Robin Williams, Kur Cobain). I don't tell people that I am BP because I lost my best friend when I told her. After being friends with someone for over 20 years, I told her and her response was "I can't be friends with someone who is crazy". That hurt 
Us Bipolars can be such good secret keepers. I've hidden the hours I've been up roaming the house while everyone sleeps. I make sure that I pick up the mail so that my Ebay, Zulily and Amazon buys can be kept secret (what..this old dress, I've had it for ages"). We lie when we are manic because it feels so darn good. We lie when we hit rock bottom because we have to. We are stealthy...Can we be more so???
Sometimes living in my own head is like living in a circus. Happy melodies, the smell of popcorn, bright colours and straw under my feet. It is a great place to be
@braveKitten4951
I am so sorry to hear you lost such a close friend over your truth. I'd like to say that those who matter don't mind and those who mind don't matter, but this changes considerably when faced with a new versus an old friend. I agree there is such stigma associated with all kinds of illness, even chronic physical illness or disability. Indeed, we do hide much of our lives. I work in the field of mental health and it still took me two years to come forward with my own struggles. I admire your honesty.
Thanks to all of you for growing this informative thread! My 19 yo dayghter was just dx'ed and I find myself digging thru my memories of her, trying to find evidence of the illness, and I dont see any. She was a straight-A student, talented artist, so kind and friendly to everyone. The only evidence I can see is her extreme tiredness--she will come home from 8 hours as a cashier at a food store and fall asleep til way past dinnertime. In addition, maybe once a month she would text me from work saying she felt like she was having a panic attack. She just started on a mood stabilizer this past week and I study her daily, Im so afraid to lose the sweet, always-smiling girl Im used to. If shes suffering tho, I just want her to feel better. It hurts my heart to think she may be in such pain on the inside while projecting this happy personality. Is it possible to be a "mild" case? anyways, thank you all for reading and I look forward to learning more.
@Mariposa08 There are all different parts of the spectrum represented in Bipolar Disorder. So, in a sense, it is possible to have a less debilitating form of the illness. But that doesn't mean your daughter will necessarily be affected less than others who have the disease a little more spectacularly.
Sounds like y'all have come to the diagnosis fairly early, and that generally suggests very good things will happen as you and she address the issues that BD brings.
Good luck!
@blitheSun94
When I told my father that I was diagnosed as bipolar he said "you're not bipolar." We're not even close, he barely knows me, but just by not "looking" like a complete nutcase, he even told me to go to another psychiatrist.
I'm so mediocre in everything I do, I'm not even the "functional" type, I'm the "avoidand" type, I keep thinking that maybe I should give up fighting the disease and become the kind of person who is hospitalized in an asylum...
@FreedomHawk
I relate to this 100%. Feel free to PM me if you'd like to speak to another avoidant introvert. ♡
@blitheSun94 It's good to know that I'm not alone, thank you.
Even the med and highs and lows I want so bad to just be "normal" people never understand
life is now sweet and better now nor how it use to be about a year ago, my marriage was having some issues, while trying to solve the issues,my husband started seeing another woman, he was not even having feelings for me anymore i was so broken inside of me soon later my husband left me and my kids and started living with the woman, i was so confused and heart broken, then soon later one of a close friend called me i told me about a great man that can make my marriage peaceful again, then i meant with the great man and told him all my problems and issues then after some weeks my husband came home and started asking for forgiveness i just want to thank great baba ubeji for saving my marriage,my friend if you have any issues or any kind of problems just meet with great ubeji i promise that will be end of your problems,if you want to meet with him you can email him at: [edited by forum mod ladylazarus1971 for contact information away from 7 Cups]
@SONIAWALKER1256 I am sorry I had to edit your post. Please be aware, though, that providing contact addresses, phone numbers, etc is not allowed by 7 Cups guidelines. If you have any further questions, feel free to reply to this post, and I'll come on back in and see if I have answers.
