High Functioning: "You Look Way Too Put Together to be Crazy"
Hello Readers,
Today marks my fifth appointment in my newly acquainted journey to seek psychological wellness. In preparing for my day, which took each and every one of my spoons, I emerged showered, dressed, haired, and make-up-ed. A huge feat these days, I admit. My husband took one look at me and said,
"You look way too put together to be crazy. You should go in pajamas and slept on makeup."
This set off a light bulb in my mind in the way mental health presents itself visually in society. It's true, more often than not it is messy, however, what about the high-functioning mentally ill? What about those of us who advocate for ourselves and fight tooth and nail everyday to get out of bed and fight back through this hell? What about those who are somehow able to stand on two legs and hold a conversation for their children? What if a manic or mixed phase isn't necessarily euphoric and all-beautiful? What if depression gets dressed in the morning?
Discuss: What does manic depression look like? What have people assumed about you based on your appearance?
Additional Reading:
Psycheducation.org, Treating the Mood Spectrum, "Normal Is a Place I Visit" by Dr. Suzanne Fiala
"So yes. Im capable. Im talented. I work hard. I produce stuff. Yay me. But the price I pay for that is not being able to be anything else."
Awesome job encouraging one another. Keep it up. 👫👬ðŸ‘
I'm "high functioning" in the sense that I'm self-aware enough to remove myself from people when my mental state gets too wild in either direction. When that happens I deal with it on my own, no exceptions
@Waistdeep this is actually called high functioning?
Hi folks
Is it possible to *double bump*? I love this thread!
@ladylazarus1971
Thank you so much. It has had an amazing turn out and remains my biggest response to any of my threads, along with, "What is the hardest time of the day for you?" in the Depression Forum. I am thrilled this has reached so many people. <3
One time I was working at a group home and there was this girl who was struggling with depression and self harm. I shared some of my story with her and she didn't believe me, she said "you're too happy to be depressed." Which is good I was able to pull it off at a work setting.
Lately though I have been doing very "well" outwardly but internally and behind closed doors I've been an absolute mess. But everyone is like "you're doing so well" someone the other day said "you're in the best mental health you've been in since you started college" and while I know they mean well these comments make it harder to reach out for support because I don't want to "disappoint" anyone.
Ive also found that if you tell someone you're in therapy for depression or anxiety they are a lot more accepting than if you tell them you have bipolar or borderline (my other diagnosis).
The stigma makes it so hard to find support.
@InvaderStitch I'm so sorry you're hearing things that make it harder to reach out - please don't let that stop you!
I hate the way even professionals perpetuate stigma. One time I was talking about some troubled people I knew with my therapist (I was seeing her for depression and nothing else) and she asked me how I did it. "Did what?" She then said I was describing in these other people the behavior of people with borderline personality disorder and basically said she can't deal with them herself. I suppose it's good to know one's limits so as to be able to refer clients to someone else capable of helping, but her saying that to me carried this message that people with BPD are somehow more "broken" and problematic than others. I suppose she may have meant it as a sort of compliment to me, or maybe as a criticism (was the message that I should not engage with people who exhibit signs of BPD?) - I'm not really sure, and in the moment I was too taken aback to pursue any questions. The main thing it accomplished was to tell me the stigma was strong enough that a professional had no problem openly talking about her own negative attitude and suggesting that it is widely shared.
@JBlue
yes! It is highly stigmatized by professionals too. Luckily I've never had a professional treat me poorly but that's because the first doctor I saw new right away I had BPD and got me connected with DBT therapy, which has therapists that have basically been trained and expect to work with Borderline. I'm not surprised by that therapist's response. Stigma is awful! People handle bipolar so much better than borderline but both are still highly stigmatized.
@InvaderStitch
It's true! When you're doing well for a season and so many people comment on the change it can be difficult to reach out. I think it's important to understand that mental illness is cyclic in nature and just because you've a good day, week, or month- doesn't mean the darkness will never roll back in. I am glad you are here and hope you find safe haven on 7 Cups on these days you feel like you can't reach out. Thank you for your input. 
High functioning for me works when I'm too excited about something and I produce/sharing a lot. Like history, sometimes I can stop talking about everything I know (I'm a passionate studant of everything) and people stare at me saying that I super clever. Read and search information makes me busy but calmer so I do every single day. Positive side is that I do with pleasure things that are stressful for ordinary people. Negative side is me getting super stressed/tired but my mind still thinking about a lot of things. Thank god I meditate!
@june27th
Meditation has been a constant in my life since this all started 16 years ago. It's one of the few things that has kept me going.
Because of the many years spent acting "normal", and because of my love of learning, no one believes me that I am in pain.
@persistentDog3348
i feel the same way that no one believes me