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I think I'm just weird

affableStrings4654 September 25th, 2023

I've been trying to get out of the house a bit more lately. Going to events every once in a while, that sort of thing.

But when I'm there I always feel awkward. Like I don't know what to do with my hands. Eye contact is hard, I get tongue tied sometimes, I always feel like i am giving weird facial expressions. I try to gauge people's reactions, but I don't know if I'm connecting or not. Sometimes i just can't think of something to say.

I want to make new friends, but I'm finding it kind of hard.

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Tinywhisper11 September 25th, 2023

@affableStrings4654 don't give up. Keep trying. And we are here to support you every step of the way ❤

2 replies
Bazzust0 September 25th, 2023

@Tinywhisper11

your very active in these parts

2 replies
Tinywhisper11 September 25th, 2023

@Bazzust0 yep 😁 just trying to help ❤❤

2 replies
mich765 September 27th, 2023

@Tinywhisper11 I like that you’re active. You are a bright spot in this dark world. Keep being you, because you’re a wonderful person!

1 reply
Tinywhisper11 September 28th, 2023

@mich765 awww thanks sweetie ❤❤ gives you a giant tiny hug ❤❤

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Tobias5 September 25th, 2023
@affableStrings4654 Practice makes perfect (or progress but that doesn't sound as good). Props to you for getting out there, it may be really awkward at first but you'll slowly learn and become more comfortable. If you can't think of something to say, I find asking questions is a great thing to fall back on.


1 reply
GlenM September 29th, 2023

Great feedback!

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Themaninblackxxx September 26th, 2023

@affableStrings4654

Haha you are weird

No don't worry. You sound kind of cool

but like if you go looking for friends and have all this pressure then I think it's going to feel awkward

Have you considered what to do/be to make people gravitate towards you?

I don't have the answers but I feel this is the better approach

4 replies
affableStrings4654 OP September 30th, 2023

@Themaninblackxxx


I would love to know the secret to having people gravitate towards me instead of the other way around haha. I do have a few friends that are extremely low-maintenance when it comes to energy and feeling like i have to live up to something ,but they're moving to the other side of the country at the end of the month :(

3 replies
Themaninblackxxx October 1st, 2023

@affableStrings4654

I think the secret is to focus on your own authenticity. Really discover who you truly are and face your fears in becoming that person. My theory, anyway

I have BPD so I never make friends

2 replies
affableStrings4654 OP October 9th, 2023

@Themaninblackxxx

yeah, it's definitely something i have been working on. i don't know how i ended up feeling like i have to apologize for my existence, but lately everything i do just feels wrong.

I want to be accepted by people, and i know that it's not possible for everyone to like me, or for me to mesh with everyone, but it's just so frustrating when i am putting in so much effort for others and they dont' do the same for me.

I think i may just be too intense of a person. I want deep connections and not everyone wants that.

( I am having a weird day today, so all of my feelings are coming to the surface. )

1 reply
Themaninblackxxx October 10th, 2023

@affableStrings4654

Hmm maybe you ARE too intense of a person for a lot of people

I mean, people in general seem to like generic pop songs and cheesy entertainment shows and I'm thinking "how the *** do people like this? like what do they get out of watching this???"

I understand you have a nice heart. I don't think the world is easy for people with nice hearts. I'm not saying you are an angel but I understand when you say you want people to accept you - you are open

but maybe it's not the way things are? maybe most people will think you are weird

Isn't that ok? I mean, you don't need everyone. You just need yourself and maybe some others who feel and understand you too

Can you accept yourself first?

I'm kind of shooting in the dark here, as I said, I don't have the answers but I feel like there is something there about accepting yourself first

Yeh thats all I can think of to say


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ElenaCh September 27th, 2023

@affableStrings4654

It's completely normal to feel a bit awkward in social situations, especially when you're trying to make new friends. Many people experience similar feelings of uncertainty and self-doubt. The good news is that you're taking steps to get out there and meet people, which is a fantastic start.

Remember, making new friends is often a gradual process. It's okay if conversations don't always flow smoothly or if you're unsure about your body language. Building connections takes time, and it's perfectly fine to be yourself, quirks and all.

Don't be too hard on yourself, everyone has moments of social awkwardness. With time and practice, you'll likely find it easier to navigate social situations and build meaningful connections. Keep being yourself and keep putting yourself out there – you're taking positive steps towards making new friends. 🙏🏻

1 reply
affableStrings4654 OP October 9th, 2023

@ElenaCh

I often catch myself feeling like i have to be perfect when meeting new people, or getting to know people better. like i can't make mistakes or they will hate me. I don't know where this relentless self-criticism came from, i just know that it makes me miserable.

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PebblesF73 October 1st, 2023

Some of that sounds like me, especially the part about being tongue tied and the facial expressions, I am not even aware of some of the expressions I make that keep people at a distance. I managed to get to know a few people here and there, one thing I learned is once I find out something they like talking about I ask a couple questions about that particular thing to keep the conversation rolling.while they are busy responding to my questions I find something else In what ever they are saying at that moment and that’s kinda what I do you can honestly find things to talk about in the company of others just look around use things that you see also to make small talk. No one expects you to keep talking and talking, a moment of silence never hurt anyone. The more you practice this stuff the easier it becomes. Seriously

1 reply
affableStrings4654 OP October 9th, 2023

@PebblesF73

Yeah, i have a habit of staring off into the middle distance when i'm not talking to people and sometimes it makes it look like i'm staring at a person within that range. And then when i'm talking to people it's hard to maintain eye contact as well.

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PebblesF73 October 1st, 2023

Also I’m weird too but no one knows it but me, I sometimes fake my way through it just so no one feels uncomfortable

1 reply
affableStrings4654 OP October 9th, 2023

@PebblesF73


i always feel like i want to make friends with people who appreciate my weirdness, instead of having to hide it. it's just hard to deal with the ones that don't work out.

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Jewelmoon17 October 10th, 2023

@affableStrings4654

Just take it easy and not worry too much when you socialite.

Well I am not comfortable too with people I am not familiar with.  But sometimes there people when you conversate with, you learn you both have a lot in common and small talks turns to friendship.

:)

22Mimi October 11th, 2023

@affableStrings4654 I understand where you’re coming from. I think it’s mostly social anxiety, for me at least. I’m sure you have your reasons too, why you’re nervous around others. It’s easy to be yourself around family members, because you’re comfortable with them. Now you’ve stepped out of your comfort zone, so it’s a whole new experience for you. It is nerve wrecking being around others, because you never know what their response is or how’d they perceive you. I struggle with the same thing, but lately when I go out, I try to be myself. I know some people might find something I say or do strange if they do have a conversation with me, but im learning not to care. It’s okay to have different views and perspectives. Everyone is different. We won’t all like the same things, etc. It’s okay to be nervous and it’s also okay to be yourself. The right people will come along :)  After all you can’t please everyone

honestLunch5347 October 12th, 2023

You're trying to do your best and that is the greatest start. People will get to know you and will realize that you're awesome, keep doing your best as it is indeed the best of you, the best of us is always lovely and kind and lovable just like you.

Sweet2Ash October 13th, 2023

@affableStrings4654 I can relate especially to the hand stuff 😆. I used to be in this situation all the time (actually I still am) . Just know you're not alone, I wish i could give you an advice honestly but I hope this helps.