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Anxiety Judgement. (what is the worst you have been told....)

politeSun October 12th, 2017

Its so easy for people to judge and say hurtful things...

share here the worst you have been told about your anxiety :

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KrysAmbrosine1021 October 12th, 2017

@politeSun im suffering with GAD and agoraphobia and on bad days when i cant leave my house at all and my friends try to get me out and i tell them i cant go anywhere, i lie so much to them now cause theyd be like
"youre safe with us"
"what are you even worrying about theres absolutley nothing to worry about"
"youre overreacting"
"youre so antisocial cause youd never get out your house"
"you need to face your fears" (i dont ven know what im afraid of because it seems like everything)
"you need to calm down and relax and breathe" (not like ive been breathing for all of 21 years or anything)
"you blame everything on your anxiety"
"why are you letting anxiety control your life, take over for once"
"its not that you cant do something, youre just lazy and wont do it"

2 replies
politeSun OP October 13th, 2017

@KrysAmbrosine1021

Thanks for sharing.

its terrible how friends and family think such things could make us feel any better while all it does is make us stop sharing and feel out-of-place

themainjane October 13th, 2017

@KrysAmbrosine1021

You sound like me 20+ years ago. When I was young and had friends. Some things said by family too.

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FelineLover October 12th, 2017

"It's mind over matter. You're just not trying."

1 reply
politeSun OP October 22nd, 2017

@FelineLover

they definitely need to know they are wrong!

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TinyTea October 12th, 2017

"Are you even trying? Can't you just do it?"

And worse it was said by a teacher, I was heartbroken :c

1 reply
politeSun OP October 13th, 2017

@TinyTea

That sounds awful!

were they really trying to help?!

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gloriousSunrise61 October 13th, 2017

"calm down"

1 reply
undefinedandundetermined01 October 15th, 2017

@gloriousSunrise61 i hate the one when people say calm down! I would if i could u idiot. Haha

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C321 October 13th, 2017

I think people often have the best intentions but if they dont understand what you are going through can say the wrong things. Like:

"Push yourself"

"Step out of your comfort zone"

"Stress isn't healthy"

And my personal least favourite: "Dont worry"

...or some variation of these phrases. If i could just stop worrying about it i would in a heartbeat.

1 reply
politeSun OP October 15th, 2017

@C321

yes I agree with you, most people have good intentions. but they do get judgemental overtime.

and as you mentioned if we could stop we would do it instantly!

1 reply
undefinedandundetermined01 October 15th, 2017

@politeSun i agree if only it was that simple to just switch it off!!

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ReservedExcitement December 16th, 2017

@C321

If people said don't worry, and followed it up with " we will figure this out" then it would be helpful. People like doing things half way. I like finishing up those sentences and then saying these people have amnesia. But maybe that makes me delusional.

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themainjane October 13th, 2017

Id say currently the worst thing said to me by family: Youre not exempt. Meaning Im not any different from anyone else in the things that are expected of me. Theres truth in it. Altho sometimes the things they come undone about are minor comparatively speaking. If they only knew.

And the absolute worst is said by husband: Are you taking your meds? Meant to imply that any emotion I have is not valid and only a symptom of me being unstable

The other worst by him included things like: Go in the other room if youre going to cry. After he has upset me. And by upset me I mean things like withholding vital information about our finances, spending as he pleases, nightly drinking and all that goes with that including infidelity and legal woes. How am I wrong to cry over these?

3 replies
themainjane October 13th, 2017

@themainjane

But I should also add that I love him dearly and am basically dependent on him for everything as I only leave my house when I have to. Meaning he carries all the responsibility for two people.

We have to change this dynamic and I have to learn how to contribute and be my own person. Because as it is now we are not peers. More like parent and child.

3 replies
politeSun OP October 15th, 2017

@themainjane

2 replies
politeSun OP October 15th, 2017

it must be really so difficult to go through. thank you for sharing with us. I hope you find the help and support you need here <3

1 reply
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bballbrit18 October 13th, 2017

Being told to "suck it up" hurts alot to me. I can't just stop my emotions.

1 reply
politeSun OP October 17th, 2017

@bballbrit18

yes ofcourse.

if only they understood what it is like to be in your place

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TidyBranch5894 October 13th, 2017

That I'm impossible and crazy!

1 reply
politeSun OP October 30th, 2017

@TidyBranch5894

Please dont let it get to you, what you are experiencing is real and no one should make you feel otherwise

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resourcefulShip9787 October 13th, 2017

@politeSunI am a worrier. I live alone. I have been told I will get by and that I am strong. But those nice people have not lost a loved one (husband) to Cancer or left without a place to live Sometimes I feel like screaming at them but I know they mean well.

1 reply
themainjane October 13th, 2017

@resourcefulShip9787

The things you describe are so difficult. Im glad you found 7 cups. I hope, like me, you find support here. 💜

politeSun OP October 15th, 2017

@resourcefulShip9787

I am sorry for your loss.

if you would like to talk to a listener anytime, I am available <3

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darksky199 October 13th, 2017

poeple tend to think that i can just snap out of it,so they don't believe me and make light of my anxiety....it' all in your head they say (no sh*it,that's where my brain is)

1 reply
politeSun OP October 22nd, 2017

@darksky199

true, most of the judgement comes from peoples belief that Anxiety is just the way we think about situations/things.

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