Weekly Prompt #15: What is your biggest fear?

I am terrified of myself or a family member drowning. Two years ago I took my son fishing neither of us know how to swim my son was 17 and fell in the river I instantly froze then I called 911 my son was bobbing up and down water bubbling out of his mouth finally watching him over my shoulder I ran to try and find help there was an old man and Praise God he helped me get my son out alive

@Marisol8023 I am sorry to hear that Mari. Thank you for sharing this traumatic experience. I can understand why the memory of that day still brings you fear and worry. You showed great presence of mind in calling for help right away. While the what-ifs can be hard to shake, an old man was there to assist when you and your son needed support most. You both were fortunate others could step in during such a frightening moment. How are you feeling now as you reflect on that close call with your son?

It has brought us both closer to God for this I am thankful and my son and the old man developed a friendship they both need each other and see each other everyday

@Marisol8023 It sounds like this difficult situation has brought some positives like developing a closeness to spirituality and a new friendship for your son and the old man. You both deserve compassion. <3

@ASilentObserver how honest can we be on here ? X

@philosophicalBunny9283 You can share what you feel comfortable to share Bunny. We are all here with you to listen to and to support.

@ASilentObserver I don't really have a lot of fears right now, perhaps if there is one I'm scared nothing will turn out the way I want them to

@minstaccato Thank you for sharing Minstaccato <3 It's understandable to feel concerned that things may not work out as planned. You're not alone in experiencing uncertainty - it's really brave of you to open up about what's on your mind. What worries you the most about things potentially not turning out as you hope?

My biggest fear currently is believing I am not doing enough to be there for those I care about and that they will no longer love me when I tell them no. (I’m learning to enforce boundaries)

@CherryBerryPie I hear you. It's understandable to feel concerned about how setting boundaries may impact important relationships. You seem dedicated to caring for others while also caring for yourself. What thoughts or feelings arise as you consider telling others "no" while still wanting to be there for them?

@ASilentObserver I have this dread and anxiety when I have to tell someone no about a request they have. Then after I tell them no or that I can't make it to an event that they're hosting to show support, I auto overthink and think they're going to hate me, think I'm unsupportive or that I don't care about them. It's a terrible/annoying cycle that I have been working on breaking.

@CherryBerryPie It sounds like saying no and feeling worried about others' perceptions of you has been an ongoing struggle. You mentioned you've been working on breaking this cycle - is there anything in particular that helps you when these thoughts and feelings start to arise? Just knowing you're not alone and many people can relate might bring some comfort. Please know we are all here with you to listen to and to support you. you are not alone in this <3

@ASilentObserver When I have those thoughts, I'm currently at the point of being able to recognize that I'm overthinking and that the way I'm feeling about saying no/declining something, is not something I should be feeling. I allow myself to take a moment and remind myself that it is okay to say no or decline.

Thank you, it gives me comfort that I'm not alone in this. (: <3

@CherryBerryPie that make sense pie. It sounds like you've been experiencing some difficult thoughts around saying no and declining things. You've recognized those thoughts may be overthinking, and have found a way to remind yourself that it's okay to set boundaries. You show strength in being able to notice unhelpful patterns and replace them with kinder self-talk. Your every step counting!

My biggest fear is myself. I hurt people really bad. I have lost people there Job. I come so far but I still go boom. I fear hurting people especially in the states I get into and can't remember. I fear it so much if I'm going to hurt someone it will be me. I can't hurt people but I always do. When I'm not in control I'm a monster. I'm so very scared of myself.

@AutiBoy Thank you for sharing your fears with us, Auti. It sounds like not feeling in control of yourself during certain states causes you a great deal of distress. I can understand why losing control would be scary. You recognize that hurting people is something you wish to avoid. How does it make you feel to worry so much about potentially hurting others?

Short answer

Panicked, paranoid, overloaded, overwhelmed, worthless, like a monster, obsessive and some pride at how far I come.

Long awner

I avoid people a lot. I get panicked when I'm around people. I started to feel paranoid and overloaded. I feel as tho I'm a monster for just being around people sometimes. I now rarely hurt people but still, my fear is strong. I worked hard so I also feel proud when I think about it. I mark the days off and hope and confidence grows. I know that the feeling of fear I get around other people and the paranoia can actually make me hurt people because I don't want to hurt them.

@AutiBoy Thank you for sharing so openly about what you've been experiencing. It sounds like feeling panicked, paranoid and overloaded around others can make life very difficult. You also mentioned feeling proud of how far you've come - that shows real strength and resilience on your part.

@ASilentObserver

id definitely have to say it’s the fear of not being missed greatly by those I love when I die. This is something new for me, but over the past couple of years, and increasingly greater each day, I get this feeling of panic and anxiety each evening as another day is ending, that I have yet another day less to heal or get close as I want to to some people in my life. I think “another day that is gone and that I will never have again to have the kind of relationship I’d like to with these people”. I can tell you that I get such a feeling of anxiousness and panic in me that it paralyzes me and I want to scream too! I’m so scared that I won’t be missed or that I don’t matter as much as I want to matter to the people I love. This is probably confusing for anybody reading it. I think this fear is somehow connected to the fear of abandonment I have.

@proactiveSea7692 I understand this is a difficult feeling to go through each day. Having close relationships and feeling cared for are important parts of life. You don't deserve to be paralyzed by anxiety.Can you tell me more about what's contributed to this fear developing over time? Please know you have all of us here with you to support.

@ASilentObserver spider is my biggest fear omg

@honestEyes9608 I am sorry to hear that. It sounds like spiders are really frightening for you. What makes them so scary?

@ASilentObserver their limbs are most scary to me

@honestEyes9608 It sounds like spider limbs are quite unsettling for you. I am sorry to hear that Eyes. We are all here with you

@ASilentObserver that feels good to hear 😊

@ASilentObserver my biggest fear is either losing control of my mind/thoughts (scares the crap out of me) or the passing of time (more of a dread)

@hardworkingHuman4356 I hear you Human and thank you for opening up. Those fears sound difficult to cope with. Losing control of one's thoughts or the passing of time are things beyond our control, which can understandably feel frightening. What thoughts or feelings come up for you when dealing with those fears?

@ASilentObserver

Ummmm. Losing a friend.

Losing a friend hurts no matter how and definitely if its your fault. It just causes loneliness and it hurts self esteem

@compassionateWatermelon6923 Losing a friendship can indeed feel deeply lonely and hurt one's self-esteem. The care and connection we share with others is so important. You're not alone in experiencing painful times like this. What feelings most strongly come up for you as you reflect on this loss?

My biggest fear is losing the people around me.

@SleepyPersonForever That's understandable to feel afraid of losing loved ones. You must care deeply for the people in your life. How does thinking about that affect you?

I always worry I do or say something stupid om accident and that they will not want to be around me anymore.

@SleepyPersonForever It sounds like you're feeling worried about what others may think of you. You're not alone in having those kinds of concerns - it's very human to want to be accepted.

two brothers got a illness in the family , they are close to me so much, I'm afraid they might get ill, because an illness run in their family

@unicorm It sounds like you're feeling worried and concerned for your brothers' health. Having an illness run in the family can be frightening. You clearly care deeply about their well-being. What worries you the most about their health at this time?

My biggest fear is that i will lose my imagination. My only coping mechanism from anxiety is that i stop thinking i am me and imagine i am someone at hogwarts/ at camp half blood etc. Yes they have more worrisome issues like daeth and injury but that makes me feel better that those worries are valid as my own worries seem trivial and invalid compared to others, but i still do feel extremely anxious about them. Sometimes it gers so bad that i start having a panic attack but then i imagine i am hermione or Lily evans and it simply gets better.

@easyCake5619 Thank you for sharing and opening up about it, Cake. Imagining yourself in magical worlds sounds like an enjoyable way to help ease your anxiety. You seem self-aware that your concerns, while real to you, can appear small to others. Just because worries don't look the same on the outside doesn't mean they feel any less overwhelming from within. I'm glad you've found ways to help calm your mind and center yourself. How does escaping to Hogwarts or Camp Half Blood make you feel in those difficult moments?

@ASilentObserver My biggest fear is that nothing good I do matters.

@Theotus That sounds like a difficult fear to live with. Your concerns are understandable. Many care deeply about making positive impacts. What matters most to you in doing good things?

@ASilentObserver

ive got a few,

1. Myself: I’m scared I’ll do something stupid and irreversible or that I will never stop self harming.

2. Adele, cupcakes and dolphins: they always trigger flashbacks so yeah