Weekly Prompt #10: Have you ever felt like your anxiety was misunderstood or dismissed by someone close to you?
Hello everyone, I hope you are all being easy on yourself this week.
Last week we discussed: What role do you think stress and anxiety play in panic attacks? Thank you to all who participated and shared their thoughts for discussion. I enjoyed them. I hope you all did too. If you didn't share yours, please share them here and I look forward to reading and discussing them with you.
This week's prompt: Have you ever felt like your anxiety was misunderstood or dismissed by someone close to you? How did you handle that situation?
Please remember that you're not alone. Let's discuss our emotions and experiences and support each other. Anxiety can be really challenging but I am glad we are trying to talk about it.
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@ASilentObserver
Yes, absolutely. I've been told to let it out and get over it. It doesn't work that way.
@purpleTree4652 I understand, emotions are complex and not so easily dismissed. You deserve to have your experiences heard and honored. How are you making space for your feelings right now?
@ASilentObserver
Hi, ASO,
How are you making space for your feelings right now? First I'm trying to figure out what you are specifically referring to. Do you mean right this second, or do you mean in general at this point in my life? I get easily confused by my feelings and thoughts.
That’s so true.
@ASilentObserver
"Have you ever felt like your anxiety was misunderstood or dismissed by someone close to you? "
Everybody. Except therapist, but then that is what I pay him for LOL.
"How did you handle that situation?"
I tried to explain what it is what I am feeling but got the deer in the headlights look. Which just irritated me that much more.
I just end saying things like how irrational and stupid I am. Just ignore the old fat man and move on. or something in that sense to defuse and redirect the stupid people.
@Barltik2065 I can understand why having your anxiety dismissed would be so painful and invalidating. How did you find the strength and courage to keep advocating for yourself in the face of that? You deserve to have your voice heard and needs met. Please know your every step counts and your emotions and experiences matter. please not let anyone dismiss them.
@ASilentObserver
Definitely. Until someone truly understands anxiety, they'll constantly tell you to just stop worrying and get over it. I hate that. Why does anyone think we want to feel this way? If we could just "get over it" with a snap of the fingers, we would!
Yes. People say I look calm and composed so I must be fine, but only I know what's going on in my head.
People assume I'm really calm and collected in public. But my anxiety made me reserved, paranoid and overwhelmed in my day to day. It's not like I want to have panic attacks or feel horrible every day on purpose.
Yes, all the time. I try not to take it personally as I feel most do not understand anxiety, but it’s hard. I usually do take it personally and need some space from the individual who said it. Anxiety has ruined a ton of my relationships with family, friends, and co-workers. Luckily not my husband.
@ASilentObserver Yes, that and my depression, ptsd, etc. So I tend to conceal it. I only allow my therapist to see it.
@gbrenna can understand why you would feel the need to conceal so much of what you experience. You deserve to feel heard and supported. How have you been able to find moments of solace even when facing such immense difficulties?
@ASilentObserver I can usually find temporary shelter from the storm when my dog or cat curl up in my lap and sleep. I just watch them sleep peacefully. I don't know what I would do without them.
@ASilentObserver
Oh, yes. My anxiety has been misunderstood and dismissed.
A frequent dismissive phase I come across is "stop overthinking".
I generally deal with it with anger. Of the bottle it up and seethe type. Not being heard is a trigger for me. I'm working on assertivenes. No one knows how I feel better than me. I gave it a name that made sense to me "I'm snowballing". And just naming it and acknowledging it has been extremely helpful. That, and knowing that I have made it through every time in the past, so I can get through it this time. It will pass if I just wait.
@Clio9876 I can understand why being dismissed would be so hurtful and invalidating. It sounds like your anxiety is very real to you and naming it has helped give it form so you can face it.
@ASilentObserver
How have you learned to validate your own experiences when others do not?
Well, that's a good question. Several very helpful people on 7 cups helped me learn it. "This feeling is valid and I'm going to experience it to the full" Elliot. Perhaps a healthy dose of bloodymindedness. I didn't realise then, but I was carrying a lot of anger and that anger helped me fight for what I knew to be true. Once I'd understood that I suffered from anxiety, the opinions of those who dismissed it were irrelevant to me.
And knowledge. I knew a lot about fight, flight, freeze, fiddle about and faint. The 5 fs of fear. And recognising them in others. Which makes things easier to recognise in yourself. I think that knowledge makes me less afraid of fear than for many.
@Clio9876 It sounds like learning about anxiety from others who understand it helped give you valuable insight and perspective. Gaining knowledge about your own experiences is empowering. You've clearly come a long way.
@ASilentObserver
The notification that your comment brought led to valuable insight and perspective! It's so curious to see what I wrote 3 months ago.
I hope those 3 months have been good to you.
@ASilentObserver
Plenty of times. I was told to start focusing on work and keep myself busy with studies and responsibilities.
In the earlier stages, I tried to handle it by doing some kind of workout to blow steam off and get that energy out of myself. It worked for a few weeks but then I had to start addressing the reason it was happening.
@hennessy02 It sounds like you have tried many coping strategies over the years to help manage your anxiety. While the distractions may have provided temporary relief, I can understand why addressing the underlying cause would be so important for finding lasting solutions. We are all here with you to listen to and support.
