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Trauma Support Community Check-In for September 2024 - National Suicide Prevention Month
by audienta
Last post
8 hours ago
...See more Hello everyone, welcome to this month's check-in! This month is National Suicide Prevention Month. The Hashtag is #BeThe1To Ask Asking people if they experience thoughts of suicide and talking about it may reduce suicidal ideation according to research.  Be There Listening to someone without judgement can help a person feel less depressed, suicidal and overwhelmed. Keep Them Safe Making lethal means less available can make suicide rates decline according to a number of studies. Help Them Stay Connected Helping someone create a network of resources and individuals for support and safety can make them feel more hopeful and take positive action. Follow Up A supportive, ongoing contact with a person might be an important part of suicide prevention according to some studies. (Source [https://988lifeline.org/promote-national-suicide-prevention-month/]) And while doing all of this can be helpful to someone else, taking care of yourself is the highest priority. You have to ensure you are okay and safe before taking care of someone else. You can only help others when your own needs are cared for and you have the capacity to share your energy with someone else. If you struggle with suicidal ideations yourself, you can find resources via www.7cups.com/crisis [https://www.7cups.com/crisis/]. ------------------------- Trauma Support Community Check-In for September 2024 1) Name 5 things that make you happy. 2) Which challenges are you facing this month? 3) What are you looking forward to this month? ------------------------- If you have a question you'd like me to ask at the next check-in, please let me know! Take care, audienta ------------------------- You can get added to or removed from the trauma support taglist here [https://www.7cups.com/forum/TraumaSupport_60/ampResources_2334/TraumaSupportAutomatedTaglist_219256/]. @0Some0where0I0BELONG0 @13irth @adaptableLake3534 @adequatelyInadequate @adventurousAcres9344 @adventurousBranch3786 @AffyAvo @AguaNector6700 @allYou @Amelia2324 @amiableBunny4016 @AshFox2007 @AstronomySkies @audienta @Avaray @BeautifulCreation999 @BeenAKiwi @bela12345 @BillyJoeBobb @blueScarf9326 @bouncyBreeze44 @BraveAdventurer @BrokenDreamsPalace @BrokenMedic @bubblegumPuppy68 @bumblebee2307 @Bunnylovesyou @CalmRosebud @CaptainTrev @carefulKitten1131 @CaringBrit @charmingSky5972 @Chrissy911666 @Claireolomi @clare7199 @Colorfulcatsofhope @communicativePond1728 @communicativeYard2325 @conicha @CoolBeans29 @coolvibes @Crakyz @creativeStrings1531 @crimsonLime6525 @crxxtvfl0w @cueball @cyanPlatypus6370 @DaniAleah156 @Dannc7c @DarkGalaxy55555 @daydreammemories @Deadtiredperson175 @delicatepunk @depressedsatellite1452 @diligentDime8651 @DinaElwy @domesticEmerald50s @Eitas @emotional232023 @emotionalTalker2260 @emylly @FallenAngel0128 @Feathersfall @FigureskatingEquestrian @Fireskye13 @Fleggles @fluien @forcefulFriend4768 @Gagaintheroom @gentleLand5245 @Ghxstie @goldenSpruce1512 @Grandmaof10 @Greenchoice1 @gregariousBeing5071 @Grits1910 @helpfulLion92 @hillsideblues @honestpanda81 @HonestWarrior6624 @HopeNChayil @HumanPersonThingy @Iamwhoiamwhoami @IceCream4IceCream @iloveyouxx @IndigoWhisper @InfinityandBeyond23 @inventiveOrange1313 @Itisbailey @jcqlinshots @Journey144 @jovialButterfly6752 @jr50 @Judy7 @jupitermatilde @JustSmilingThruHell @Kekesea11 @Kickiree @Kimmkimm @kindTurtle3738 @kittydragon771 @Kunoichi91Warrior @LightofWorld @LillithHolly @Lilly28 @lilmissjaded @lionsaether @littleHuman9247 @littleOtter1342 @LordFireStorm71 @lovehummingbirdsCindy @LovelyForever6990 @LovelyOrangeJuice @LoveMyMoonflowers @lowkeyem1001 @Lubo123 @Luchelle @lyricalAngel70 @Marigold357 @maya6548 @mcooper7583 @Meenagirl @Mellietronx @mish3l @MistyMagic @mkaitx @Mooglethefluffy @MunchieTaters @MVObserver @mytwistedsoul @navyMango2804 @neatBlueberry3608 @neonDog3649 @neonOwl3442 @NevaehRose @Nolanhm @NoneTheWiser @nonethewiser @notmyselftoday @Novelwriter @npos25 @oceancruiser48 @Oceanwaves16 @OffDutySeraph @OneErased @OneWithSugar @ottersngiggles @parkey @Parvlakin @PatienceImpatiens @pencilmarks @Petrichor2000 @Philowl @Pidgeymon @PinkestOctopus @politeBunny7572 @practicalIdeal2007 @purpleWheel873 @QuietLotus @rainbow3140 @Randomperson453 @RansviewTheWizard @raspberry563 @ReallyRuth @Rebekahwriter13 @Redhawk6547 @Redirecting @redmark @reliablePeach8464 @Rosa9570 @SafeSpace1776 @SapphireSoul @SarahAlaina15 @scarletPear1945 @selfdisciplinedTiger5523 @sensitiveShade5337 @ShapeshiftSystem @shellofashell @shiningDay80 @Silverviolets @sincereThinker3571 @sleepingd0gg0 @SmileSravani @SnippyHam @sofiamartino18 @SoftForestHSP77 @SoulSupporter102 @StarlightSystemDID @stickercollection @Storyhymns1234 @straightforwardSkies7721 @sugarcookies7 @Summer899 @SynSavory @Taylorz27 @tealOak8933 @teenytinyturtle @The0Vetoed0System @TheAutumnWitch @TheFisherKing @ThisIsLogan @ThreadbareThinker @Tinywhisper11 @TransparentPuzzle @turquoiseHemlock900 @Turtlegrrrl8 @u1146 @underapinetree @Understandingempath @UndomesticGoddess @unique73 @uniqueDaisy @veeceebee @Verysadperson101 @Vivikun9 @WarriorHeartsSystem @weepingwillow5489 @WelcomeToChat @wontwakewontsleep @WorkingitThrough2 @Worrior22Warrior @Writersworld @WriteToHeal42 @xandia @xmoonsie16x0
What to do after a sexual assault
by audienta
Last post
Friday
...See more What to do after a sexual assault If you're in danger, please call your local emergency line. TW: Sexual Assault What is sexual assault? Sexual assault is defined as sexual contact or behaviour that happens without explicit consent. Examples of sexual assault are: * Fondling or unwanted sexual touching * Non-consensual kissing * Forcing a victim to perform sexual acts, such as oral sex or penetrating the perpetrator’s body * Penetration of the victim’s body, also known as rape * Attempted rape What is explicit consent? The consent should be freely and clearly communicated. Also, it can be taken back at any point. You cannot give consent when you’re * incapacitated by drugs or alcohol * feeling pressured, threatened, or intimidated * under the legal age of consent What do I do right after experiencing sexual assault? * If you’re severely injured or in immediate danger, call your emergency line. * If you’re not in immediate danger but do not feel safe, consider calling someone you trust for support. * Know that what happened is not your fault. * If possible, call your local sexual assault hotline or a victim support center. * Go to a health care facility to receive medical attention and a sexual assault forensic exam, also known as “rape kit”. This has to be done within 72h and if possible, you should not go to the bathroom, shower, comb your hair, change your clothes, or clean up the area in which the assault has happened before you have done the exam. * Consider getting Post-Exposure-Prophylaxis, DoxyPEP, or the emergency contraceptive pill to protect yourself from sexually transmitted diseases and pregnancy depending on what you want and what your doctor recommends. * If you want to, report the assault. If you’re already getting medical attention, you can tell a medical professional that you want to report the assault. Otherwise, you can also call your local police department. What do I do afterwards? * Safety planning Brainstorm what you could do to stay safe and reduce the risk of future harm. Remember that it is not your fault that it happened though. * Therapy Working with a therapist might help with dealing with the challenges you might face after experiencing sexual assault. * Support group Dealing with the aftermath of a sexual assault is hard. But you’re not alone. In support groups you have the option to talk to other people with similar experiences. * Self-Care Making sure that our body and mind are well cared for can make such a difference. Focus on what helps you to feel grounded and safe. * Be careful with media consumption Portrayal of sexual violence in the media can be very triggering for sexual assault survivors. Remember that you don’t have to watch potentially triggering content. Pay attention to trigger or content warnings and read about the content before you watch it. How can 7 Cups help? 7 Cups can only support you while you’re not in crisis, which means, you can’t be actively self-harming, suicidal, in active danger, or planning on hurting someone while using 7 Cups. When you’re safe, this is what 7 Cups can offer: * 1-1 chats with trained listeners You can talk to our trained listeners 24/7. You can browse for listeners here [https://www.7cups.com/BrowseListeners/]. * Open and guided group support chats You can find the schedule of all trauma support discussions here [https://www.7cups.com/forum/trauma/General_2433/ScheduleDiscussionsoftheTraumaSubCommunity_302437/]. * Self-help guides There are different self-help guides available, including one about traumatic experiences. You find all of them here [https://www.7cups.com/supportGuides/selfHelpGuides.php].  * Online therapy 7 Cups offers online therapy for USD §39.75 per week. This includes daily messaging - the therapist responds 1-2 times a day from monday to friday. If you want to have weekly video sessions, this costs additional §55 per week. You can find more information about that here [https://www.7cups.com/online-therapy]. Resources After Sexual Assault | RAINN [https://rainn.org/after-sexual-assault] Recovering from Sexual Violence | RAINN [https://rainn.org/recovering-sexual-violence] Tips for Survivors on Consuming Media | RAINN [https://rainn.org/articles/tips-survivors-consuming-media] Self-Care After Trauma | RAINN [https://rainn.org/articles/self-care-after-trauma] Telling Loved Ones About Sexual Assault | RAINN [https://rainn.org/articles/telling-loved-ones-about-sexual-assault] Reporting to Law Enforcement | RAINN [https://rainn.org/articles/reporting-law-enforcement] Steps You Can Take After Sexual Assault | RAINN [https://rainn.org/articles/steps-you-can-take-after-sexual-assault] The Importance of DNA in Sexual Assault Cases | RAINN [https://rainn.org/articles/importance-dna-sexual-assault-cases] What Is a Sexual Assault Forensic Exam? | RAINN [https://rainn.org/articles/rape-kit] Sexual Assault | RAINN What Consent Looks Like | RAINN [https://rainn.org/articles/what-is-consent] What Is Sexual Assault? | Columbia Health [https://www.health.columbia.edu/content/what-sexual-assault#:~:text=Sexual%20assault%20can%20encompass%20a,committing%20the%20harm%20against%20them] Post-Exposure-Prophylaxis | WebMD [https://www.webmd.com/hiv-aids/post-exposure-prophylaxis] DoxyPEP Factsheet | Public Health LA [http://www.publichealth.lacounty.gov/chs/Docs/DoxyPEP_Factsheet_EN.pdf] Emergency Contraceptive Pill | NHS UK [https://www.nhs.uk/contraception/methods-of-contraception/emergency-contraceptive-pill-morning-after-pill/what-is-it/#:~:text=The%20emergency%20contraceptive%20pill%2C%20sometimes,on%20the%20type%20of%20pill.]
Schedule: Discussions of the Trauma Sub-Community
by audienta
Last post
August 9th
...See more Hello everyone, The Trauma Sub-Community Discussion Team currently hosts seven discussions per week: * Monday, 9 AM/11AM ET (changing the time every other week): Guided Support Chat about DID/OSDD-1 (adults), hosted by InsightfulPhoenix * Monday, 1 PM ET: Open Support Chat about Trauma (teens), host needed * Tuesday, 4 PM ET: Open Support Chat about all Dissociative Disorders (adults), hosted by InsightfulPhoenix * Wednesday, 11 PM ET: Open Support Chat about all Dissociative Disorders (teens), hosted by WillingToHelpU * Wednesday, 1 PM ET: DID/OSDD-1 Safety and Stabilisation Group (adults), hosted by mytwistedsoul * Friday, 7 PM ET: Guided Support Chat about Trauma (adults), hosted by WillingToHelpU * Sunday, 3 PM ET: Open Support Chat about Trauma (adults), hosted by InsightfulPhoenix Here's the schedule with the currently planned discussions for the coming month. [https://docs.google.com/document/d/1bXxPIbmbcSJ9aJO92oDi3FWiQc9WC9WLs4Fsl8QZ_Qw/edit] The discussions will be announced the day before they happen by the host who will lead the chat in this thread [https://www.7cups.com/forum/TraumaticExperiencesCommunity_60/DissociationRelatedDisorders_2335/DiscussionsonDissociativeDisordersAnnouncementPosts_303372/]. If you want to be tagged for them, please leave a comment below. And if you need to convert the time into your time zone, click here [https://rarelycharlie.github.io/7cupstime]. The discussions take place in the trauma support room [https://www.7cups.com/chat/?c=k2tqdHaUk5qdlLBpiYbDlQ%21%21]. To access this room, you need to have either the Chief Chat or the First Post plus the Compassion Hero badge. You can find more information on that here. [https://www.7cups.com/forum/GroupSupport_168/CommunityManagersOffice_2008/NewCriteriaUpdatesGroupChatsEasierToAccessNow_280544/] The trauma support room is only open on Weekends and during the discussions. In addition to the above, there are Listener Learning Discussions on Dissociative Disorders. You can find the schedules here [https://www.7cups.com/forum/listenerjourney/ListenerLearningDiscussions_1896/]. ------------------------- If you want to become a host for these discussions, please fill in this [https://forms.gle/nijWmDzws6WYfrL76] [https://forms.gle/nijWmDzws6WYfrL76]form [https://forms.gle/nijWmDzws6WYfrL76]. Also, you need to make sure that you can access the trauma support room (info here [https://www.7cups.com/forum/GroupSupport_168/CommunityManagersOffice_2008/NewCriteriaUpdatesGroupChatsEasierToAccessNow_280544/]). Please comment under this post if you want to be tagged for future discussions. Also, my PMs are open if you have any suggestions, ideas, or questions. Take care, audienta (last updated: 7/24/2024)
Mourning and Grieving
by Lolowise475
Last post
September 12th
...See more I wasn't sure where to post this but might as well be here. I'm suffering grief and loss of an especially loved parent. And very unfeeling and insensitive and non-compassionate sibling. If you believe in 🙏. Fine with me if you do so. Thank you 
Trigger warning as a five year child I witnessed my mom being trapped and chased around her car
by creativeStrings1531
Last post
September 7th
...See more Back when I was 5 years old my mom was trapped during her divorce to my dad by babysitter's husband and chased around the outside of her car I waved to the babysitter's husband and enjoyed waving to him as he stood against his front door blocking it on my mom my mom didn't have custody of my brother and I during her divorce and tried kidnapping my brother and I from the babysitter's house so the babysitter's husband did everything in his power to stop her and when she took us out his back door after she had us in the backseat of her car babysitter husband and my mom began tipping around the outside of her car and my mom said dinky dinky let me go dinky dinky let me go as he skipped around the outside of her car I enjoyed this so much and to me to this day the babysitter's husband is my hero and role model
I can't escape my parents, even when I'm an ocean away.
by DreamsofAuratus
Last post
September 3rd
...See more Trigger warning: abuse (controlling behaviour) . . . . I'm struggling a lot with flashbacks recently. It's been hard. I was triggered earlier today. I'm calmer now, but I'm still extremely stressed and scared. I've been journalling and posting on the forum in an attempt to relax and process my feelings, but while the panic is subdued, my mind is still stuck in the past. Those who have flashbacks will know this feeling well: You know you're safe, but you're still getting hurt again and again. You know it's over, but you're still reliving it again and again. I've been abused my entire life. I still am. I struggle with my feelings of guilt and self-blame. I constantly ask myself why I'm still in contact with my parents if every conversation with them ends in pain. I blame myself for not twisting out of their grasp, even though I'm an ocean away from them. And I know, when they die, they'll still have a hold on me. I ran away from home once. I planned to sleep at my school with the cats, because school was a safer place than home was. Yet, at school, I was also being abused. Teachers did not help me, because they were also hurting me. I grew up having nobody but my family to rely on. Now that I have truly kind friends who care about me, I can also rely on them. But I don't, because I was raised to believe I couldn't trust anyone else. Do you know what the most cruel thing my mother said to me was? It isn't "I hate you." It isn't "It's your fault." It isn't even "I regret giving birth to you." It's "I love you." Not because it's a lie, but because it's the truth. Knowing that my parents loved me, even though they abused me in every way possible, is one of the most painful and lonely feelings in the world, because it convinces me that it's the best sort of love I'll ever get. My partner is so kind and patient with me. He respects me and cares about what I actually want. Yet I still crawl to my parents for comfort — a tiny scrap of validation, or a little bit of reassurance, anything... I was still a child when they started telling me that I couldn't trust other people, that they were the only ones that cared about me and would never leave me. Hearing that every time I brought up making friends, or talked about going to my siblings for help, or finding any source of support that wasn't them... I don't understand it. I lived with them until I was 24. I still don't know why they let me move out. These people have talked about chaining me to their bed or installing cameras in the house to monitor me. They have punished me for using the toilet without telling them and reversed the lock on my room so they could lock me in whenever they pleased. They controlled every aspect of my life down to what clothes I wore — and suddenly, they're letting me move across the Atlantic? Sometimes I wonder if I'm misrepresenting them. I tell myself, "Everything they do is out of love. I shouldn't complain about them. They did nothing wrong." But even if that's true, it hurts. It hurts so much. I want to be free from them, but I can't get away from them, even when they're nowhere near me. I could block them right now. I could uninstall the tracker on my phone. I could tell everyone I know to keep my life private. But I can't. Why can't I do it? Why? Why? Why?
Advice, life, lost
by clumsyyyyy
Last post
August 30th
...See more This is going to be a rant and at the same time I need an advice. For context im 24/25F immigrant in Montreal from SEA. I have a family but Im not sure if they are really a family. For context my mom has been an OFW since I was like 3rd grade and then my deceased father took care of us. It wasnt that nice since I kinda become aware that he was cheating with my mom with our helper which stays also in our house. I also have an older sister who just scams and leech my parents off their money. My sister ran away from our house when she was 16 since she met a partner online and decided to live off that person's house FOR 10 yrs. She still would constant ask my parents for money for years. And my parents given how delusional they are keeping sending her money still to idk somehow lure her to go back home. When my father died my suster stay with us me and my younger brother to basically take all away the pension money of my dad. It was a horrible day for me since my mom who was working in abroad blamed me for it (after this I started living alone for 6 or 7 years since my brother lived with our aunt and I was left alone since I am already at the uni in this time). I can still remember what she told me that it was basically my fault why did my sister stole the money. For context also my mom doesnt like me well. I remember her yelling at me to leave the house when I accidentally step on her hair when she was sleeping. And just constant nitpicking about my body and my face ( I was acne prone since I also have PCOS). I was also raped by our neighbor's son when I was around 6 or 7 yrs nobody knew excpet my closest friends and ofc here. And I was also diagnosed with PTSD. So now currently I am living with my mom and she is quite old now. She kinda indirectly pressuring me to idk make some money or job. But mind you I had a job before I quit ( i am studying full time french now) since she kept yapping I should start speaking french and *** since im here in quebec. She also loves yapping my business with her boyfriend who basically dont know me personally but since my mom kept telling *** he acted like he know me. I remember hearing him talking how lazy I am and *** when he doesnt know anything. Now im here stress with on going application to have a MLS license here in Canada but I have a license to work in the US. And an on going uni admission which im not sure what is going on. Im really lost and dont know what to do and really tired. Currently my sister is pregnant and my mom wanted her to come her. But I think she might be scamming my mom again for some money. And it will take a toll on me again since everytime something bad happen to my mom she lashes out on me. I will take all the nasty words and find a way to blame it on me again.
Unsent Letter: Hatred
by ImpudentIncognito
Last post
August 28th
...See more Since I'm not great at expressing myself, I made a poem instead. I hope I formatted this correctly .... Not sure if this post will get censored or not, but need to vent and I will water it down quite a bit ... [TRIGGER WARNINGS: Physical abuse, verbal abuse, and SA;] A letter to my abusive mother: For many years of my life, You only caused me pain and strife. To think I ever wanted your love and validation, Has caused me to cease in rumination. Since when did you ever show me "love" that you so proclaimed? Merely allowing me to breath and exist in your presence was a privilege, you claimed. That proves that you "loved" me, despite all the harm you laid onto me. From touching me inappropriately , to a blow to the face Which made calling me ugly & disgusting appear much more tame. You try to hide the evidence by blatantly lying and pretending it did not leave a trace But deep down you stomped all over me, and the sound of you calling my name Leaves my heart filled with anger and a face contorted into one that I don't recognize. After all these years, you must realize That the fondness that your perceive I have of you Is only something you dreamt of and idealize Because you can't stand to not be loved, despite you telling me so young That you "hate" me because I'm just like my father, who's curly hair and brown skin you strongly dislike so you cannot be bothered By some mere "ugly, frizzy" haired girl" like me You can believe what you want, but I know who I am and who I plan to be And that is not YOU and that is not your slave.  I am someone who has grown to be more callous and brave To call you out on your deception and iniquity  You will never change, and I have made peace with it However, I will no longer sit here and tolerate it I want to say "goodbye forever", once I have my ducks in a row, So I can finally close this chapter of my life and no longer feel morose My greatest revenge to you will be me living a life that will bring jubilation and prosperity, Far away from you and your depravity I will be content with my new little family, Which consists of my son, partner, and self along with those who will be my calvary. Goodbye for good, so long and farewell. You will not be missed, and I will no longer stay in this cell.
Tube feeding *TW*
by clare7199
Last post
August 8th
...See more *TW for food repulsion and abuse* I recently was put on tube feeding because I got severely underweight. I've struggled quite a lot with food and trying to eat due to past traumas associated with food. The food textures really overwhelms me and makes me want to throw up. It's like my brain freezes. I've to go to some sessions now with my nurse to learn more about how to live with and manage tube feeding and for hospital checkups. So far it's been hard managing with tube feeding and something like a plastic feeling attached to me 
something i need to get off my chest (trigger warning for abuse)
by shipatseaswatersatpeace
Last post
August 8th
...See more this is something that i need to get off my chest. please don't judge. the furthest back i can remember is when i was 4. my family would often abuse me even if i did nothing wrong. as the years passed it got worse and worse. i think one of the most traumatizing moment was when i was 6, i dropped a bowl and the bowl shattered. my father walked into the room and started yelling and coming closer i was so scared that i immediately started to pick up the broken pieces with my bare hands. this made the man who i thought was my father grab me and throw me at a wall. i awoke the next day in the cold wet back shed with no food or water.  due to how graphic the other parts of this story where i didn't add a lot i don't feel comfortable sharing the rest of the SA details thank you for reading. have a wonderful day/night
Support group for family trauma and abuse
by unassumingPeach6421
Last post
August 4th
...See more Hello, I tried to talk to an anonymous person about abuse online. I couldn't find a chat for family abuse, so I waited to speak to someone at a domestic abuse hotline. They said they weren't trained in family abuse. Then I decided I might journal. I look for a journal and all I see are journals for domestic abuse, not family abuse. I am in full support of the domestic abuse advocacy and support. I completely understand relationships can be so messy. That being said, I really want a support group for family, so why not here? I recently figured out I had childhood and present trauma directly from my family and I don't know how to heal yet, but I can begin to understand myself better. Understanding that I've been through abuse validated me, it gave me peace and understanding. It also gave me guilt like, no one will believe me, maybe it's all in my head? What if everything is my fault? What if I am the problem? And I have to say, that is the trauma speaking. But enough about me, if you can relate, want to add your thoughts, opinions, or share you stories please join! Please share, let us help and validate each other and try to give each other the healing we might really need. <<I am not a trained professional nor is a trained professional a part of this, yet>> If any qualified person wants to join our chat, please do! That's enough for now, I look forward to checking back in if you experience family abuse and want to share, welcome to the group!
still going ...
by IdeasOfReference
Last post
August 3rd
...See more still getting the same treatment: bullying, mind games, gaslighting, and here too and if I try to talk about I get either "well, what did you do wrong?" or the passive-aggressive pity-party of "that must be so isolating, I'm sorry you are going through that" (literally exactly that) never, ever will anyone say, "what you are experiencing is profoundly wrong and a grave injustice and should not be tolerated in a system that respects the fundamental principles law and fairness" imagine being such a cruel, sick person to engage in that kind of conduct, especially under the pretence of offering "support"
Trigger Warning
by creativeStrings1531
Last post
August 1st
...See more At the age of 5 I watched my mom being trapped and chased around her car by a babysitter's husband.
Help please
by Mindfullife
Last post
July 26th
...See more T/w: trauma mens issues  m guy and i just realised how digusting we men are it makes me hate myself and my brothers its not my personal experiences but aboutv how thw world is we men are always rude rutheless and violent which is disgusting  that keep me hating myself more i dont know what to do please help
Being Abused (Again)
by ImpudentIncognito
Last post
July 25th
...See more Trigger warning  (domestic abuse, verbal and physical abuse, incest)    Not sure where else to turn...so here I am gathering my thoughts. Due to my medical issues, I have gone back to living with my abusive mother who used to physically, verbally and SA me. She's still verbally abusive to me (and now my son), and has threatened to have my brother hit me -- I told her I would call the cops if that were to happen and she laughed in my face and went "Oh, like you called the cops on your son's dad?"  which I respond "Yes, yes I did. Are you stupid?" (I don't care to respect her anymore, with the way she talks to me and my son). She assumed I let my ex abuse me and it's my fault for him getting close to making me gone from this world. I had to confront her again today, after my nonverbal autistic son came to me saying he's sad and "grandma scary". My mother doesn't believe in autism, and talks down on him like he's stupid since he doesn't talk a lot of words (but he understands 3 languages -- and which includes sign language). It enrages me. I asked her not to talk to him that way and that's when everything blew up.  Albeit, I couldn't speak normally to her after, I did tell her how I truly felt about her and didn't hold it in, she called me "childish" and talked down on me like I'm "too stupid" to understand. Now here's the thing -- she dropped out of school in elementary, she doesn't try to learn new things and is stuck in her ways and can hardly handle simple technology, and she says because she's older she's "automatically smarter" than me and has "more experience" plus she's a teacher at school (not really, she's an assistant but whatever). She DOES NOT have training in autism, not one bit and purposely provokes him and blames ME for my son's behaviour and says "You treat him like he's grown, he doesn't know ANYTHING." No, I treat him with RESPECT and talk to him like NORMAL and EXPLAIN why things are bad, not go "you think you know everything. You can't do it. Because I said so!" -- like she does. I told her that he can STILL UNDERSTAND YOU, even if he is nonverbal and autistic. Furthermore, I threw it back in her face then that must mean my (abusive) grandmother(her mother that she absolutely HATES) must know better than her too, and is "smarter" and "wiser" since she has more experience. I could tell that irked her when I said that because she went "whatever".      We ended the argument when she had to go to work and gave the most gross "I love you have a good day" pretending we didn't JUST argue and went to talk to my brother privately to make it seem like I'm the bad guy. She's probably the ONLY person in the world I TRULY hate. I have made peace about my abusive ex fiancé who nearly made my existence disappear from this world. I'm indifferent now, I don't want to think about him -- hating takes too much energy -- but now I HATE my mother and it's a wasted emotion. I didn't really want to talk to my oldest brother either, but he seemed pretty neutral and didn't say anything at all during the argument and stayed out of it. He came over and offered to take me out of the house when she left to sorta cheer me up, but I'm spending some time alone for today. It's sick that my mother has "parentified" him and treats him like her husband -- it's emotional inc***...which is gross...She groomed him. She's also highly racist and says racial slurs about my father -- and compares me to him. My father does NOT know how wicked of a woman she is. He's not a good person either though. They're both awful people.      Just needed to vent. I'm not very active on 7cups to be honest, been dealing with my own issues. Yes, I have a plan to leave her as soon as I can. I was going to live with my partner once we both start working. I am VERY close to moving to a DV shelter, but really need to finish my real estate classes. I have a guaranteed job as soon as I get my license....I was only planning on staying her until September, but I'm going crazy... I plan on recording my interactions with my mother and "grey rocking" her if she tries and provoke me. I plan on documenting what she says and does  For example, when she said it's OK for kids to be slapped as punishment -- like she has done to me(worried she is going to hurt my son so I have kept my eye on them -- she acts up when I have to use the bathroom or shower, I usually send son over to his uncle/my oldest brother because he treats him kindly), or when she says racial slurs about my dad or is being homophobic or sexist. I'll record it all and report it to the department that ensures child safety. Or I'll call the cops if she continues to insist driving drunk while endangering other people's lives.      There's more I could write, but I'll leave it at that...she has sabotage my chances on things I needed (ex. therapy for autistic son, daycare, insurance since she won't provide me her info for me to apply, she denied taking me to job interviews, and claims I don't "need" a car when I plan on using MY OWN money on it when I work)

Trauma Support

Please note: blue text is hyperlinked.


Welcome to Trauma Support! We aim to provide a safe, empowering, inclusive, supportive and proactive community for trauma survivors to have the opportunity to begin healing from our experiences, in a non-judgmental environment. We also want to help spread awareness about trauma and its impact on individuals' lives while validating the members of this community, reducing the isolation many people feel. Therefore, trauma survivors as well as loved ones of them or people who want to learn about trauma are welcome here. 


What are the different forum topics for Trauma Support?

Bluelight, Medical & Veterans Trauma Support: Support for those who experience or witness trauma at work

Check-Ins & Prompts:  Regular check-ins and prompts, created by our leadership team

Child & Domestic Abuse: For people who have experienced child abuse, domestic abuse or even both

Coping with Attachment Difficulties: Help and support for people with attachment difficulties

Creativity Corner: A creative space for poetry, art, and healing and recovery quotes

Dissociation & Related Disorders: A place to discuss your struggles with dissociation and how it relates to your trauma

Introductions & Welcomes: Are you new to the Trauma Community? Share a little about yourself!

Journaling Stories: This area is for sharing your story or creating a diary

PTSD & Complex Trauma: Share stories and seek support for PTSD and complex PTSD

Resources: Share and seek resources here

Sexual Assault and Sexual Abuse: A place for those affected by sexual assault and sexual abuse

Trauma through Bullying: A place to seek support around the issue of suffering traumatic experiences as a result of bullying

Trauma through War: This section is there for people who have been impacted by war

Traumatic Loss: For survivors of traumatic loss of any kind


How can I help?

You can help us by simply responding to threads and sharing your story (if you're comfortable to). 

Alternatively, you may wish to join us as a Forum Leader. Check out this thread for more information.

In addition to that, you can take part in discussions or become a host for them.

Finally, you could also have a look at the posts of our trauma support sub-community writing team or even join it. 


Helpful Threads

Taglist: Do you want to stay up to date with our community? Then join our taglist to be notified for important posts.

Discussions: Here you can find out when the next discussion takes place.

Trauma Support Room Access: Find out how you can access the trauma support room here. The room is open during the discussions and on Sundays.

Masterpost: Within this thread, you can find a number of educative and supportive posts that our writing team has written.

Leadership Team: In this thread, you can get to know our leadership team.


Trauma Support FAQ

Are there any sub-community specific guidelines that we need to adhere to? 

- Yes, all sub-community specific guidelines can be found below and should be followed in addition to the general forum guidelines.

How can I give feedback or ideas to the leadership team?

- You can either pm audienta directly, use this form to contact the forum leaders, or this form for general feedback about the trauma support sub-community.


Help... I still have a question! 

You can ask your questions in this thread and someone will respond to you as soon as possible.

Community Guidelines

These are the Trauma Support Sub-Community Guidelines, which have been drawn up in addition to the 7 Cups main guidelines and are specific for the Trauma Support community:

  • Uphold and comply with the 7 Cups main guidelines
  • Respect everyone, members and listeners alike
  • Do not discourage/be unsupportive/blame/judge one another for their past
  • No graphic, in depth descriptions or pictures which could be triggering for others - in forums, chat and support session
  • Please always add a trigger warning if you believe your thread could be potentially triggering/harmful and/or contains one of the topics on this list. Also, please add a short topic description to the trigger warning (e.g. "Trigger Warning: Domestic Abuse) and if you're in a group support chat, wait a moment to see if everyone is comfortable with the topic. If not, agree on a time span during which the person who's not comfortable with the topic leaves the chat. Once they come back after this time span, change the topic.
  • Cursing not permitted and must be asterisked. (It is fine to vent and to express appropriate anger, but as curse words have often been used during abusive and traumatic experiences, we ask members and listeners to asterisk abusive/curse words to avoid triggering and upsetting members where possible and to maintain a respectful environment and to encourage positive and healthy expression of anger.)
  • Forums postings made by listeners and members should be transparent, made in English and should not be blocked out using colouring to disguise content of wording/messages sent between members/listeners, to maintain the safety of all users of the trauma sub community and to ensure all rules are being complied with.
  • Everyone is unique and their experiences are individual to them. Everyone’s experiences and how they think and feel about these are valid. Everyone reacts to traumatic experiences differently. This will be respected and appreciated without judgement.
Community Leaders
Community Mentor Leader
Chatroom Moderator
Room Supporter