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audienta profile picture
Discussions of the Trauma Sub-Community Announcement Thread
by audienta
Last post
 13 hours ago
...See more Hello everyone, In this thread, the discussions of the trauma sub-community will be announced by the hosts 24 hours in advance. After a session has happened, I'll remove the post so that the thread stays nice and clean. If you want to be tagged for future discussions, please comment or pm me and I'll add you to the list. You can find the schedule of the discussions here (clickable) [https://www.7cups.com/forum/TraumaticExperiencesCommunity_60/DissociationRelatedDisorders_2335/ScheduleDiscussionsaboutDissociativeDisorders_302437/]. If you need to convert the time into your time zone, click here (clickable) [https://rarelycharlie.github.io/7cupstime]. Please let me know if you have any questions! Take care, audienta (lastly updated: 6/13/2023)
audienta profile picture
Trauma Support Community Check-In for December 2024 - Universal Human Rights Month
by audienta
Last post
 December 13th
...See more Hello everyone, welcome to this month's check-in! This month is Universal Human Rights Month 2024. (Source [https://www.cheservices.com/blog/universal-human-rights-month]) In December 1948 the UN declared the basic rights and universal freedoms, known as the Universal Declaration of Human Rights. Today, we want to celebrate stories of people who fought for their and our rights and be grateful for their wins while not forgetting that the fight for freedom and equality isn't over.  So, if you want to, revisit the Universal Declaration of Human Rights [https://www.un.org/en/about-us/universal-declaration-of-human-rights] and share a story with us in which you've stood up for your own rights. I'm sure that a lot of people in this community have had their own fights for their freedom and equal chances in life so let's celebrate our wins together. ------------------------- Trauma Support Community Check-In for December 2024 1) Which place gives you a feeling of safety and calm? 2) How do you think trauma has influenced the way you are aware of people's rights and freedoms? 3) What do you think helps to make a space safe and welcoming for everyone? ------------------------- If you have a question you'd like me to ask at the next check-in, please let me know! Take care, audienta ------------------------- Source: https://nationaltoday.com/universal-human-rights-month/#:~:text=That's%20why%20the%20world%20is,human%20rights%20of%20every%20person. ------------------------- You can get added to or removed from the trauma support taglist here [https://www.7cups.com/forum/TraumaSupport_60/ampResources_2334/TraumaSupportAutomatedTaglist_219256/]. @0Some0where0I0BELONG0 @13irth @adaptableLake3534 @adequatelyInadequate @adventurousAcres9344 @adventurousBranch3786 @AffyAvo @AguaNector6700 @allYou @Amelia2324 @amiableBunny4016 @AshFox2007 @AstronomySkies @audienta @Avaray @BeautifulCreation999 @BeenAKiwi @bela12345 @BillyJoeBobb @blueScarf9326 @bouncyBreeze44 @BraveAdventurer @BrokenDreamsPalace @BrokenMedic @bubblegumPuppy68 @bumblebee2307 @Bunnylovesyou @CalmRosebud @CaptainTrev @carefulKitten1131 @CaringBrit @charmingSky5972 @Chrissy911666 @Claireolomi @clare7199 @Colorfulcatsofhope @communicativePond1728 @communicativeYard2325 @conicha @CoolBeans29 @coolvibes @Crakyz @creativeStrings1531 @crimsonLime6525 @crxxtvfl0w @cueball @cyanPlatypus6370 @DaniAleah156 @Dannc7c @DarkGalaxy55555 @daydreammemories @Deadtiredperson175 @delicatepunk @depressedsatellite1452 @diligentDime8651 @DinaElwy @domesticEmerald50s @Eitas @emotional232023 @emotionalTalker2260 @emylly @FallenAngel0128 @Feathersfall @FigureskatingEquestrian @Fireskye13 @Fleggles @fluien @forcefulFriend4768 @Gagaintheroom @gentleLand5245 @Ghxstie @goldenSpruce1512 @Grandmaof10 @Greenchoice1 @gregariousBeing5071 @Grits1910 @helpfulLion92 @hillsideblues @honestpanda81 @HonestWarrior6624 @HopeNChayil @HumanPersonThingy @Iamwhoiamwhoami @IceCream4IceCream @iloveyouxx @IndigoWhisper @InfinityandBeyond23 @inventiveOrange1313 @Itisbailey @jcqlinshots @Journey144 @jovialButterfly6752 @jr50 @Judy7 @jupitermatilde @JustSmilingThruHell @Kekesea11 @Kickiree @Kimmkimm @kindTurtle3738 @kittydragon771 @Kunoichi91Warrior @LightofWorld @LillithHolly @Lilly28 @lilmissjaded @lionsaether @littleHuman9247 @littleOtter1342 @LordFireStorm71 @lovehummingbirdsCindy @LovelyForever6990 @LovelyOrangeJuice @LoveMyMoonflowers @lowkeyem1001 @Lubo123 @Luchelle @lyricalAngel70 @Marigold357 @maya6548 @mcooper7583 @Meenagirl @Mellietronx @mish3l @MistyMagic @mkaitx @Mooglethefluffy @MunchieTaters @MVObserver @mytwistedsoul @navyMango2804 @neatBlueberry3608 @neonDog3649 @neonOwl3442 @NevaehRose @Nolanhm @NoneTheWiser @nonethewiser @notmyselftoday @Novelwriter @npos25 @oceancruiser48 @Oceanwaves16 @OffDutySeraph @OneErased @OneWithSugar @ottersngiggles @parkey @Parvlakin @PatienceImpatiens @pencilmarks @Petrichor2000 @Philowl @Pidgeymon @PinkestOctopus @politeBunny7572 @practicalIdeal2007 @purpleWheel873 @QuietLotus @rainbow3140 @Randomperson453 @RansviewTheWizard @raspberry563 @ReallyRuth @Rebekahwriter13 @Redhawk6547 @Redirecting @redmark @reliablePeach8464 @Rosa9570 @SafeSpace1776 @SapphireSoul @SarahAlaina15 @scarletPear1945 @selfdisciplinedTiger5523 @sensitiveShade5337 @ShapeshiftSystem @shellofashell @shiningDay80 @Silverviolets @sincereThinker3571 @sleepingd0gg0 @SmileSravani @SnippyHam @sofiamartino18 @SoftForestHSP77 @SoulSupporter102 @StarlightSystemDID @stickercollection @Storyhymns1234 @straightforwardSkies7721 @sugarcookies7 @Summer899 @SynSavory @Taylorz27 @tealOak8933 @teenytinyturtle @The0Vetoed0System @TheAutumnWitch @TheFisherKing @ThisIsLogan @ThreadbareThinker @Tinywhisper11 @TransparentPuzzle @turquoiseHemlock900 @Turtlegrrrl8 @u1146 @underapinetree @Understandingempath @UndomesticGoddess @unique73 @uniqueDaisy @veeceebee @Verysadperson101 @Vivikun9 @WarriorHeartsSystem @weepingwillow5489 @WelcomeToChat @wontwakewontsleep @WorkingitThrough2 @Worrior22Warrior @Writersworld @WriteToHeal42 @xandia @xmoonsie16x0 @SummerOfCA
CaringBrit profile picture
Trauma Support Automated Taglist
by CaringBrit
Last post
 December 6th
...See more This thread controls an auto-updating taglist. To see the current list, go to Trauma Support Community [https://rarelycharlie.github.io/taglist?23eb3b680028ac32c998125af8d8f262]. <<<< checkin posters refer to this click then copy for taglist its instant updated To add yourself to this taglist, press the Post to Thread button above and write the exact words Please add me. To remove yourself from this taglist, press the Post to Thread button above and write the exact words, Please remove me. highlighting keywords as these are needed no forms to fill in just type to this thread . dont need to copy the colouring though just the keywords highlight is so they stand out is all. New taglist as of August 9th 2024 by audienta @0Some0where0I0BELONG0 @13irth @adaptableLake3534 @adequatelyInadequate @adventurousAcres9344 @adventurousBranch3786 @AffyAvo @AguaNector6700 @allYou @Amelia2324 @amiableBunny4016 @AshFox2007 @AstronomySkies @audienta @Avaray @BeautifulCreation999 @BeenAKiwi @bela12345 @BillyJoeBobb @blueScarf9326 @bouncyBreeze44 @BraveAdventurer @BrokenDreamsPalace @BrokenMedic @bubblegumPuppy68 @bumblebee2307 @Bunnylovesyou @CalmRosebud @CaptainTrev @carefulKitten1131 @CaringBrit @charmingSky5972 @Chrissy911666 @Claireolomi @clare7199 @Colorfulcatsofhope @communicativePond1728 @communicativeYard2325 @conicha @CoolBeans29 @coolvibes @Crakyz @creativeStrings1531 @crimsonLime6525 @crxxtvfl0w @cueball @cyanPlatypus6370 @DaniAleah156 @Dannc7c @DarkGalaxy55555 @daydreammemories @Deadtiredperson175 @delicatepunk @depressedsatellite1452 @diligentDime8651 @DinaElwy @domesticEmerald50s @Eitas @emotional232023 @emotionalTalker2260 @emylly @FallenAngel0128 @Feathersfall @FigureskatingEquestrian @Fireskye13 @Fleggles @fluien @forcefulFriend4768 @Gagaintheroom @gentleLand5245 @Ghxstie @goldenSpruce1512 @Grandmaof10 @Greenchoice1 @gregariousBeing5071 @Grits1910 @helpfulLion92 @hillsideblues @honestpanda81 @HonestWarrior6624 @HopeNChayil @HumanPersonThingy @Iamwhoiamwhoami @IceCream4IceCream @iloveyouxx @IndigoWhisper @InfinityandBeyond23 @inventiveOrange1313 @Itisbailey @jcqlinshots @Journey144 @jovialButterfly6752 @jr50 @Judy7 @jupitermatilde @JustSmilingThruHell @Kekesea11 @Kickiree @Kimmkimm @kindTurtle3738 @kittydragon771 @Kunoichi91Warrior @LightofWorld @LillithHolly @Lilly28 @lilmissjaded @lionsaether @littleHuman9247 @littleOtter1342 @LordFireStorm71 @lovehummingbirdsCindy @LovelyForever6990 @LovelyOrangeJuice @LoveMyMoonflowers @lowkeyem1001 @Lubo123 @Luchelle @lyricalAngel70 @Marigold357 @maya6548 @mcooper7583 @Meenagirl @Mellietronx @mish3l @MistyMagic @mkaitx @Mooglethefluffy @MunchieTaters @MVObserver @mytwistedsoul @navyMango2804 @neatBlueberry3608 @neonDog3649 @neonOwl3442 @NevaehRose @Nolanhm @NoneTheWiser @nonethewiser @notmyselftoday @Novelwriter @npos25 @oceancruiser48 @Oceanwaves16 @OffDutySeraph @OneErased @OneWithSugar @ottersngiggles @parkey @Parvlakin @PatienceImpatiens @pencilmarks @Petrichor2000 @Philowl @Pidgeymon @PinkestOctopus @politeBunny7572 @practicalIdeal2007 @purpleWheel873 @QuietLotus @rainbow3140 @Randomperson453 @RansviewTheWizard @raspberry563 @ReallyRuth @Rebekahwriter13 @Redhawk6547 @Redirecting @redmark @reliablePeach8464 @Rosa9570 @SafeSpace1776 @SapphireSoul @SarahAlaina15 @scarletPear1945 @selfdisciplinedTiger5523 @sensitiveShade5337 @ShapeshiftSystem @shellofashell @shiningDay80 @Silverviolets @sincereThinker3571 @sleepingd0gg0 @SmileSravani @SnippyHam @sofiamartino18 @SoftForestHSP77 @SoulSupporter102 @StarlightSystemDID @stickercollection @Storyhymns1234 @straightforwardSkies7721 @sugarcookies7 @Summer899 @SynSavory @Taylorz27 @tealOak8933 @teenytinyturtle @The0Vetoed0System @TheAutumnWitch @TheFisherKing @ThisIsLogan @ThreadbareThinker @Tinywhisper11 @TransparentPuzzle @turquoiseHemlock900 @Turtlegrrrl8 @u1146 @underapinetree @Understandingempath @UndomesticGoddess @unique73 @uniqueDaisy @veeceebee @Verysadperson101 @Vivikun9 @WarriorHeartsSystem @weepingwillow5489 @WelcomeToChat @wontwakewontsleep @WorkingitThrough2 @Worrior22Warrior @Writersworld @WriteToHeal42 @xandia @xmoonsie16x0
Lieschen01 profile picture
My personal healing journey with flower essence
by Lieschen01
Last post
 Wednesday
...See more        Personal Journey with Flower Essence My personal journey with flower essences began during a profound period of grief and darkness. In February 2008, at the age of 19, I experienced the devastating sudden loss of my father. This traumatic event plunged me into an emotional abyss, leaving me feeling lost and overwhelmed by and in a dark depression. It was during this challenging time that a close friend, a holistic practitioner, introduced me to flower essences, specifically recommending Rescue Remedy and Star of Bethlehem. As I began incorporating these essences into my daily routine, I noticed subtle yet significant changes in my emotional state. The overwhelming waves of grief became more manageable, and I found myself better able to process my emotions without being completely overwhelmed by them. This experience sparked a deep interest in understanding how flower essences work and their potential for trauma recovery. Understanding Trauma and Flower Essences Trauma, as defined by van der Kolk, is "an experience of helplessness and terror" that fundamentally alters how we perceive danger. This definition resonated profoundly with my experience. I discovered that trauma healing requires looking inward and facing both visible and non-visible wounds. Flower essences are subtle liquid extracts made from the flowering parts of plants. Unlike essential oils or herbal remedies, they don't contain physical plant material. Instead, they are believed to carry the energetic or vibrational pattern of the flower. The process of making flower essences typically involves collecting fresh blossoms, floating them in pure spring water under sunlight, and then preserving the resulting infusion with brandy. Indigenous Trauma Theory and Complex PTSD Indigenous Trauma Theory expanded my perspective beyond individual trauma to understand the broader implications of collective wounds. This theory emphasizes the multigenerational impacts of colonization and historical oppression on Indigenous peoples, encompassing collective, cultural, and intergenerational aspects of trauma. Complex PTSD, with its five key features - emotional flashbacks, toxic shame, self-abandonment, a vicious inner critic, and social anxiety - described exactly what I was experiencing. The gentle nature of flower essences proved particularly effective in addressing these multiple layers of trauma response, offering support without overwhelming an already stressed system. Dr. Edward Bach's Work Dr. Edward Bach, born in 1886, was a British physician who developed the Bach flower remedies in the 1930s. During World War I, Bach worked with soldiers suffering from shell shock, which we now recognize as a form of PTSD. This experience likely influenced his later work with flower remedies. He observed that personality and emotional state played a crucial role in recovery and overall health. Bach's approach was revolutionary for its time. He moved away from conventional medicine, believing that healing should address the whole person, not just physical symptoms. His system of 38 flower remedies was designed to correct emotional imbalances, which he saw as the root cause of many physical ailments. Personal Experience and Effectiveness Through my experience with flower essences, I found them to be particularly valuable for addressing early childhood trauma and the effects of Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACEs). They offered gentle yet profound support for processing these deep-seated issues. I like to say they do behind the scenes work,because they work within our energetic bodies and they do this  without retraumatization. Specifically, I experienced: * A sense of calm during moments of overwhelming anxiety (Rescue Remedy) * Ability to process grief in a more gentle manner (Star of Bethlehem) * My night terrors slowly faded * A feeling of being more at peace Conclusion My journey with flower essences has been transformative, offering a gentle yet profound path to healing from trauma. While scientific validation of flower essences remains limited, the personal experiences of many, including myself, testify to their potential in trauma recovery. As we continue to explore and understand the intricate connections between mind, body, and spirit, flower essences stand as a promising tool in our healing arsenal. This holistic approach has been crucial in my journey toward wholeness, addressing trauma's impact on both body and spirit. Flower essences, with their subtle yet powerful influence, offer a path to this holistic healing, supporting us as we navigate the complex landscape of trauma recovery and personal growth. Works Cited: Bach, Edward. The Twelve Healers and Other Remedies. C.W. Daniel Company, 1936. Brave Heart, Maria Yellow Horse. "The Historical Trauma Response Among Natives and its Relationship to Substance Abuse." Journal of Psychoactive Drugs, vol. 35, no. 1, 2003, pp. 7-13. Felitti, Vincent J., et al. "Relationship of Childhood Abuse and Household Dysfunction to Many of  The Leading Causes of Death in Adults: The Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACE) Study."  American Journal of Preventive Medicine, vol. 14, no. 4, 1998, pp. 245-258. Herman, Judith Lewis. Trauma and Recovery: The Aftermath of Violence - From Domestic Abuse to Political Terror. Basic Books, 1997. Smith, Heidi. The Bloom Book: A Flower Essence Guide to Cosmic Balance. Sounds True, 2020. van der Kolk, Bessel A. The Body Keeps the Score: Brain, Mind, and Body in the Healing of Trauma. Viking, 2014.
amiableBlackberry92 profile picture
CPTSD, possible tw*
by amiableBlackberry92
Last post
 Wednesday
...See more I'm in the middle of a bad CPTSD episode. It's like a fog that hijacks the brain. It creates suicidall ideation thoughts out of nowhere. I'm tired. I'm sad. I feel alone. Distractions don't work. I've been doing this way too long. Triggers come from unexpected places. I hate those former friends who are gossipping untruths about me. I guess they are perfect with no trauma. Wish I was perfect like them * sarcasm. Is it possible to ever get well and get past some seriously cr*ppy trauma inflicted on me as a child and then as an adult. I feel defective and stupid. How did I get here? ABB 😓
OceanWaves37 profile picture
Now I have to be Selfish, and It HURTS
by OceanWaves37
Last post
 December 14th
...See more I found out I'm pregnant with my second child. I work a demanding, draining, and honestly not-worth-the-pay job. I love my work as a counselor and helping clients, but the job is such a drain and full of so much bureaucratic *** that I don't get a lot of time to really provide quality care that I want to. Office politics. Certain people in positions of power get to show up late every day and skimp on their work with no repercussions, while us "grunts" always pull the slack and get jumped if things do not get done properly, which certainly does happen when one clinician is doing the work of three people at any point in time.  If I'm being one hundred percent honest, it's toxic, which is ironic since it's supposed to be a program to help others. My son already suffers enough from me working so much overtime at times. I took the job because it was all I could get with my degree. My husband couldn't keep us all up financially anymore and I had to work. I got a year and a half experience here and I'm DONE. I already placed an application for some remote work and I have a backup just in case. Now that I'm pregnant, exhausted, hormonal, and already stretched to the max, I am ready to go. I'd quit tomorrow if I could, but I have to give one months' notice, which I will this coming week.  Not gonna lie, I'm terrified of change, even if I know it's the right thing to do for myself and my kid and future baby. I'm just *** TIRED. I work all the time, try to parent my toddler with utmost exhaustion, and feel guilty because I'm spending more time on a job that doesn't care than anything in general.  I'm on the verge of tears as I type this. I miss my little boy. I miss peace of mind.  I do consider going back to the helping profession, but I need a break. I don't need to do this to myself- my family. I'm constantly on call in some way. Group chat going off at any hour of the night asking work-related *** questions. There have been days I've worked over, went home to calm down, only to be called about some *** something that could probably wait. Even worse if it couldn't wait, because then it's an emergency. Ugh. I'm crying now.  I held on so long to gain the experience. Now I have it for my resume in the future. I'm done. Worst of all, due to past abuse, I will feel GUILTY, no matter what. No way out of it.  I had a good talk with my own therapist today, and she solidified it for me. It's time for me to move on. She told me that unfortunately community mental health often does not provide an environment for good therapists to thrive.  I know I'm not some great therapist, but I feel like a *** one here.  I just want to work at whatever part-time to make ends meet, spend more time with my boy and his future sibling while they're little, and then I'll go back, get my masters, and stay the *** away from the place I work now.  It hurts so bad. I wish it didn't hurt so bad to put myself first. Trauma has caused this. ***! Thanks for listening. I'll be okay. One day at a time now until my last day of work.   
Dellanguyen profile picture
Manipulated and betrayed by men. Now I dont have trust any longer.
by Dellanguyen
Last post
 December 14th
...See more 2 years have passed, but I'm still sitting here, tears streaming down my face whenever I think about what happened. I feel completely broken and lost. It all started in October 2021 with Antonio, that fool from Puerto Rico. We were in a long-distance relationship and, after months of talking, we decided to meet in April 2022. I had no idea that this would turn into the worst experience of my life. As the date to meet approached, we fought more and more. He became insecure but didn’t tell me, and when he finally arrived in Vietnam, he had second thoughts. The nightmare began. He didn’t tell me about his insecurities and lied about flying to my province. I waited THREE HOURS at the airport, excited to meet him... but he never showed up. When I finally messaged him, he confessed that he wasn’t ready. I cried. I cried more than I thought was humanly possible. My heart felt like it was breaking, and I didn’t even know how to stop. I couldn’t walk, so strangers had to put me in a wheelchair and take me to a waiting room. I was completely shattered. But the story didn’t end there... A few days later, he decided to come after all, but once again, he lied. Instead of coming to meet me, he flew to Japan and told me he had been deported and robbed of all his money. I panicked, flew 1000 km to meet him... only to find out it was another lie. Two lies in one week. I couldn’t take it anymore. He told me he wasn’t ready, that all the fights had left him mentally disturbed, and that he was afraid our relationship would turn bitter. I wanted to fix things. I loved him. I forgave him. So I gave him another chance. The cycle repeated. In September, he returned to Vietnam. Again, I waited for him. And again, he lied. He missed his flight and rescheduled. When he finally made it to Vietnam, he said he wasn’t ready to meet me. He made up an excuse about food poisoning, and when I offered help, he snapped: “You can’t help yourself, how can you help me?” He stayed for a month before flying back to the US, leaving me feeling like I was nothing. Sometimes, I still cry, and sometimes, I feel so ashamed. I can’t believe I let someone hurt me like this. I still blame myself for being so blind, for loving him so deeply that I lost all self-respect in the process.
Tinywhisper11 profile picture
I'm not doing ok! I'm really not doing ok 😞
by Tinywhisper11
Last post
 December 9th
...See more TW- This month has been so hard. So many bad memories and fear. I'm not sure what to do how to handle everything.😞 I don't know who to talk to, who to trust. I had 24 owners. I was a sex slave, till I was 18. Lots of torture was a big part of it too. Kept in a cage. I'm just not coping well. I don't know what to do anymore 😞 I put in a smiley face. But I'm not smilling. I'm a scared idiot
EmpathyS profile picture
Needs encouragement- emotionally hurting
by EmpathyS
Last post
 December 8th
...See more i m feeling really overwhelming right now i m not sure what to do i m tired of the emotional pain and the void that i have in me. life is painful i try to keep myself distracted by overworking but this too is not helping me anymore and so i m very frustrated ☹️
CatListener profile picture
How to go no contact with family
by CatListener
Last post
 December 4th
...See more Going no contact with family can be an extremely difficult and emotional decision, but it can also be necessary for protecting your mental health and well-being. Here are some steps you can consider when deciding to go no contact: Clarify your reasons: Understand clearly why you want to go no contact. Is it due to emotional abuse, manipulation, or toxic behavior? Knowing the reasons will help you stay grounded in your decision when emotions rise. Set firm boundaries: If you haven't already, begin by setting boundaries with your family. Limit your interactions gradually if that feels more comfortable before fully cutting ties. For example, reduce the frequency of communication, limit what you share, or set clear boundaries around specific topics. Plan your communication: If you choose to inform them of your decision, it can be helpful to write a letter or message to explain why you’re going no contact. Be clear, concise, and non-confrontational. You don't owe them a lengthy explanation, but setting boundaries respectfully might make the process smoother. You can simply say, “I need space to heal and take care of myself.” Prepare for emotional fallout: Family members may react with guilt, anger, or manipulation. Be prepared for this and remind yourself that your decision is about protecting your well-being, not about punishing them. Limit access to your personal information: Change any contact information that they might have access to, such as phone numbers, email addresses, or social media accounts. If necessary, block them to prevent further communication. Seek support: Going no contact can bring up complex emotions, including guilt, grief, and sadness. Having a support system of friends, therapists, or support groups can help you process these emotions and stay firm in your decision. Take care of your emotional health: Focus on self-care, therapy, and any other resources that support your healing journey. No contact can be emotionally draining, so be kind to yourself as you navigate this change. Reevaluate if needed: Going no contact doesn't have to be permanent. You can choose to go no contact for a set period, or you may eventually decide to open communication under your own terms, once you've healed and feel stronger. Remember that going no contact is an act of self-preservation, and it's okay to prioritize your mental health.
CatListener profile picture
How to deal with Narcissistic parent
by CatListener
Last post
 December 4th
...See more Dealing with a narcissistic parent as an adult child can be challenging, especially when you want to protect your emotional well-being and establish healthy boundaries. Here are some strategies to help you navigate this relationship: 1. Set Firm Boundaries Understand your limits: Before you engage with your narcissistic parent, define what behaviors are unacceptable to you (e.g., manipulation, verbal abuse, excessive criticism). Be clear and direct: Communicate your boundaries calmly and assertively. For example, "I will not engage in conversations where I am being shouted at or disrespected." Consistency is key: Enforce your boundaries consistently. Narcissists often push limits to see if they can get away with violating boundaries, so it’s important to stand firm. 2. Use the Grey Rock Technique What is it?: The grey rock method involves becoming emotionally unresponsive and as dull as possible during interactions. This means providing minimal responses, avoiding sharing personal information, and not engaging in arguments. Why it works: Narcissists thrive on attention, validation, and emotional reactions. By becoming "boring," you deprive them of what they want and make them less likely to engage with you in a manipulative way. How to apply it: Keep your answers short and neutral ("I’m fine, thank you" or "That’s interesting") and avoid engaging in their drama. Don’t show emotional highs or lows, as this can trigger further attempts to manipulate. 3. Coaching and Self-Respect Seek professional support: Narcissistic abuse can be damaging, and it might help to work with a coach or therapist who specializes in narcissistic relationships. They can offer guidance, coping mechanisms, and support to help you reclaim your power. Develop self-respect: Narcissistic parents often erode their children's self-worth. Work on building your self-esteem through self-care practices, therapy, setting and achieving small goals, and practicing self-compassion. Recognizing your inherent value is key to maintaining your mental health. Affirm your autonomy: As an adult child, remind yourself that you are your own person, separate from your parent. This means respecting your own needs, wants, and emotions, even if your parent tries to guilt-trip or manipulate you into neglecting them. 4. Limit Contact and Detach Emotionally Control the frequency of contact: You don’t have to maintain frequent contact with your narcissistic parent. If your relationship is damaging to your mental health, it’s okay to reduce the time you spend with them or even go no contact temporarily or permanently. Detach emotionally: Narcissists are skilled at triggering emotional responses. Try to detach from their manipulative tactics and remain unaffected. This can help you protect yourself from emotional exhaustion and drama. 5. Don’t Take Their Behavior Personally Understand their pathology: Narcissists tend to lack empathy and are often self-centered. Their behaviors are a reflection of their own insecurity and emotional deficits, not a reflection of your worth. Focus on your own well-being: Practice self-care and mental wellness. Recognize that you are not responsible for their behavior, nor can you fix them. You can only control how you respond. 6. Communicate Your Needs Be clear about your expectations: If you have to interact with your narcissistic parent, be clear about your needs. If they dismiss or invalidate them, try not to engage emotionally, and remember that their response is a reflection of them, not you. Don’t expect change: Narcissistic parents are unlikely to change, so try to adjust your expectations. This can help reduce frustration and disappointment when their behavior doesn’t improve. 7. Self-Care and Support System Create a support network: Surround yourself with people who respect and validate you. Having a solid support system can buffer the effects of a toxic relationship with your parent. Practice self-care: Engage in activities that nourish your mind, body, and spirit. Regular exercise, hobbies, journaling, and mindfulness can help you stay grounded and reduce stress. 8. Reclaim Your Power Take control of your life: Set goals for yourself that are unrelated to your parent’s expectations or influence. Pursue your passions, career, relationships, and self-development. Accept that you may not receive their approval: Narcissistic parents often withhold validation or love as a means of control. Recognize that their approval is not necessary for you to lead a fulfilling, successful life. 9. Consider Going No Contact (if necessary) When to go no contact: If the relationship is too toxic and affecting your well-being, it may be necessary to cut ties completely. This is a personal decision that depends on the severity of the abuse or manipulation. Protect yourself emotionally: If you choose to go no contact, you may experience guilt or resistance from your parent. However, prioritize your mental health and healing. You deserve peace, respect, and autonomy. Dealing with a narcissistic parent is complex and can require ongoing effort. It’s important to continually prioritize your own well-being, set healthy boundaries, and seek professional support when needed.
CatListener profile picture
COMPLEX TRAUMA...IT IS COMPLEX
by CatListener
Last post
 December 3rd
...See more Complex trauma is complex. What is it? -SUSTAINED HORROR AND ABUSE!!! USUALLY STARTING IN CHILDHOOD. -How do you feel: Tired Neckpain Hair falling Dissociation/disconnected from reality -Issues with emotional regulation -Social isolation -STATE ALERT -Issues with executive functioning: memory, focus, attention THIS IS A REAL DISORDER..Complex post traumatic stress...Message me if you need compassion and listening
EmpathyS profile picture
So frustrated
by EmpathyS
Last post
 November 28th
...See more I m frustrated mann. I have to talk to people from getting a job but ij have phobia of people due too my traumas idk what to do
EmpathyS profile picture
Need support
by EmpathyS
Last post
 November 26th
...See more i m verge of an another panick attack me is very upset. i m.. i m suffering from chronic depression and cptsd due to multiple trauamas i m going through emotional breakdown currently and on ther hand i m missing my partner😖
creativeStrings1531 profile picture
Trigger warning as a five year child I witnessed my mom being trapped and chased around her car
by creativeStrings1531
Last post
 November 24th
...See more Back when I was 5 years old my mom was trapped during her divorce to my dad by babysitter's husband and chased around the outside of her car I waved to the babysitter's husband and enjoyed waving to him as he stood against his front door blocking it on my mom my mom didn't have custody of my brother and I during her divorce and tried kidnapping my brother and I from the babysitter's house so the babysitter's husband did everything in his power to stop her and when she took us out his back door after she had us in the backseat of her car babysitter husband and my mom began tipping around the outside of her car and my mom said dinky dinky let me go dinky dinky let me go as he skipped around the outside of her car I enjoyed this so much and to me to this day the babysitter's husband is my hero and role model

Trauma Support

Please note: blue text is hyperlinked.

Welcome to Trauma Support! We aim to provide a safe, empowering, inclusive, supportive and proactive community for trauma survivors to have the opportunity to begin healing from our experiences, in a non-judgmental environment. We also want to help spread awareness about trauma and its impact on individuals' lives while validating the members of this community, reducing the isolation many people feel. Therefore, trauma survivors as well as loved ones of them or people who want to learn about trauma are welcome here. 

What are the different forum topics for Trauma Support?

Bluelight, Medical & Veterans Trauma Support: Support for those who experience or witness trauma at work

Check-Ins & Prompts:  Regular check-ins and prompts, created by our leadership team

Child & Domestic Abuse: For people who have experienced child abuse, domestic abuse or even both

Coping with Attachment Difficulties: Help and support for people with attachment difficulties

Creativity Corner: A creative space for poetry, art, and healing and recovery quotes

Dissociation & Related Disorders: A place to discuss your struggles with dissociation and how it relates to your trauma

Introductions & Welcomes: Are you new to the Trauma Community? Share a little about yourself!

Journaling Stories: This area is for sharing your story or creating a diary

PTSD & Complex Trauma: Share stories and seek support for PTSD and complex PTSD

Resources: Share and seek resources here

Sexual Assault and Sexual Abuse: A place for those affected by sexual assault and sexual abuse

Trauma through Bullying: A place to seek support around the issue of suffering traumatic experiences as a result of bullying

Trauma through War: This section is there for people who have been impacted by war

Traumatic Loss: For survivors of traumatic loss of any kind

How can I help?

You can help us by simply responding to threads and sharing your story (if you're comfortable to). 

Alternatively, you may wish to join us as a Forum Leader. Check out this thread for more information.

In addition to that, you can take part in discussions or become a host for them.

Finally, you could also have a look at the posts of our trauma support sub-community writing team or even join it. 

Helpful Threads

Taglist: Do you want to stay up to date with our community? Then join our taglist to be notified for important posts.

Discussions: Here you can find out when the next discussion takes place.

Trauma Support Room Access: Find out how you can access the trauma support room here. The room is open during the discussions and on Sundays.

Masterpost: Within this thread, you can find a number of educative and supportive posts that our writing team has written.

Leadership Team: In this thread, you can get to know our leadership team.

Trauma Support FAQ

Are there any sub-community specific guidelines that we need to adhere to? 

- Yes, all sub-community specific guidelines can be found below and should be followed in addition to the general forum guidelines.

How can I give feedback or ideas to the leadership team?

- You can either pm audienta directly, use this form to contact the forum leaders, or this form for general feedback about the trauma support sub-community.

Help... I still have a question! 

You can ask your questions in this thread and someone will respond to you as soon as possible.

Community Guidelines

These are the Trauma Support Sub-Community Guidelines, which have been drawn up in addition to the 7 Cups main guidelines and are specific for the Trauma Support community:

  • Uphold and comply with the 7 Cups main guidelines
  • Respect everyone, members and listeners alike
  • Do not discourage/be unsupportive/blame/judge one another for their past
  • No graphic, in depth descriptions or pictures which could be triggering for others - in forums, chat and support session
  • Please always add a trigger warning if you believe your thread could be potentially triggering/harmful and/or contains one of the topics on this list. Also, please add a short topic description to the trigger warning (e.g. "Trigger Warning: Domestic Abuse) and if you're in a group support chat, wait a moment to see if everyone is comfortable with the topic. If not, agree on a time span during which the person who's not comfortable with the topic leaves the chat. Once they come back after this time span, change the topic.
  • Cursing not permitted and must be asterisked. (It is fine to vent and to express appropriate anger, but as curse words have often been used during abusive and traumatic experiences, we ask members and listeners to asterisk abusive/curse words to avoid triggering and upsetting members where possible and to maintain a respectful environment and to encourage positive and healthy expression of anger.)
  • Forums postings made by listeners and members should be transparent, made in English and should not be blocked out using colouring to disguise content of wording/messages sent between members/listeners, to maintain the safety of all users of the trauma sub community and to ensure all rules are being complied with.
  • Everyone is unique and their experiences are individual to them. Everyone’s experiences and how they think and feel about these are valid. Everyone reacts to traumatic experiences differently. This will be respected and appreciated without judgement.
Read the 7 Cups Guidelines
Community Leaders
Community Mentor Leader
audienta profile picture
@audienta
Chatroom Moderator
InsightfulPhoenix profile picture
@InsightfulPhoenix
Kieran000 profile picture
@Kieran000
WillingToHelpU profile picture
@WillingToHelpU