What is your idea of ideal group support chat room?

@Country2191 Hey country, I hope you are doing well. Let me know if you need any help with the group support rooms. We all are here to listen and support you. Thank you

@ASilentObserver hi

@Hallowandalone I hope you are well. Please let me know if you need any help with the group support rooms or site navigation. We all are here to listen and support you. Thank you

I would love if there could be a support room for eating disorders that could open and close for discussions--I am starting up a weekly forum discussion in the ED support sub-community but would love to also have a chatroom available that could open and close during set times (so that chats are always supervised). These rooms exist for many other sub-topics, but not for eating disorders and I think it would be a valuable addition as there are not many activities etc for the eating disorder community

@Shanna there is Eating Disorder Support Room Shanna. It is a pop-up room and would need a mod around to open and a host to run activities in it. I appreciate your thoughts and efforts. thank you.

@ASilentObserver Oh okay, there haven't been any ED discussion or room events on the schedule. Maybe I can apply to be a moderator :)

@Shanna definitely go for it!

@Shanna I encourage you to apply. I think these are the current requirements and application

https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLScX7nNahJocq0tgDYBesRicWxTfExFCe5QMI-O-04K-qBjZrA/viewform

Please correct me anyone that knows a new application!

@Shanna You can do it friend

@Shanna would you like have one tomorrow evening? we can organize something. im global moderator and can do it if a member of your team -either room supporter, forum supporter, team member as yourself- is present with me to colead.

@vivelespatates thank you!! I'm sorry I missed this :( I'd love to organize something with you

@Shanna sure i an just 1pm away;)

@ASilentObserver

Maybe one where we could learn more about each other's experiences while also assisting them (if they require it). I find that its so much fun (and eye-opening) when we talk to different people, on a common arena.

Besides all the understanding in the air, we also make each other feel special, simply by virtue of their presence, as they are someone unique.

It's a fun, running chat which turns supportive when required <3

@bouncySalamander26 Great idea. We have the listener community room which is open 24/7 to meet new listeners and there is the member community room where members and listeners can come together for light-hearted chat. When support is needed all room participants should be supportive to their best abilities.

@ASilentObserver @bouncySalamander26 @kindSoul10

Thank you for this forum Obs. I agree with both your points soul and Salamander. Like in A and A meetings and grief support groups, members should stop fun conversations and listen to a member who has sought support in the rooms.

@bouncySalamander26 I agree 100% that would be great I'd love to see and be a part of a group like that as I often need someone to talk to when my listener isn't available.

@Reaper111975 awesome Reaper. We all are here with you to listen and support. you can check the requirements to join rooms in this post- https://www.7cups.com/forum/GroupModZone_168/ASilentObserversOffice_2008/BadgesRequiredtoUnlockSupportRooms_213011/1/

@ASilentObserver Hi there friend! So I think it would be wonderful to make an "Anger Management" support room. I suffer from this personally and I know lots of others do too! And I would definitely be there to help out if this is made a reality!

@lavenderpeach1107 good idea, I agree

@Princessalmond Thank you friend! I feel like a lot of people can benefit from having an anger management support room!

@lavenderpeach1107 I see you are a group moerator on different rooms already, so maybe you could want write one discussion on this topic for one of your rooms, and lead it?

@lavenderpeach1107 Sure. We can use Support Session room to host sessions on it. How about you help us with some discussion scripts and we can try to organize a couple of them

@ASilentObserver Hi there friend! I would LOVE to help with discussion scripts and organization! I will get working on it right now and show you my work when I am all done!

In terms of what an ideal group support chat would look like, I think for me more structure would be better. What has always turned me off from the group chat is how disorganized it felt: people having random conversations (sometimes several, so you have to sift through different conversations between small groups all in the same room), not acknowledging each other/having sort of cliques, and just an overall too casual feeling to it. It's awkward to jump in for support when people are having rapid random conversations. That would be fine for a casual or friendship/connection-based site, to just chat, but it has always seemed not conducive to mental health benefit. It would be so weird to see these kinds of group support if the same were happening in real life.

That's partly why I've found guided discussions usually better, but even then sometimes people just get way off topic, or some people attach to each other and just start having their own conversation in the middle of it. Which a good mod can defuse but still happens, even just one person going on their own tangent. To me guided discussion is much more what group support should be, I feel in order to have supportive benefit, they should really model real-life group support/counselling. But of course that would require leadership to always be present, which I think was part of the reason for lessening the number of rooms and changing topics to pop-up with mods.

Basically structure and guided leadership are my main points :P for what I think would create an ideal group support chat

@ASilentObserver @bouncySalamander26 @kindSoul10 @TaranWanderer

Taran, thank you for this amazing point that adds more structure to what Bouncy and Soul hinted above. Group organisation through guided leadership is very important because it ensures that the members are supported as intended.

I, however, have a question that is currently affecting our rooms. What if another member comes in who needs support in the midst of supporting another member. Should the support be focused on the second member, should they be ignored, should they be told to queue? Like does anyone have a solution on how to handle that situation?

Another problem is the lack of members and listeners in support rooms at certain times of the day. A suggestion on how to solve that would be Noni, the robot, pasting small random messages regularly that reminds the members to browse listeners if there are no members in the support room, who could support them at a certain time.

@JoyHappyNess

Thank you for raking up that very important point, Joy! It is indeed something very prevalent in our group chats. This might be a bit long, but bear with me.

From a listener's perspective, if there are 2 people requiring support, I usually try to PM one of them. We have some truly supportive members, as well in our group chat, who provide a lot of support to a person who requires it, in both the presence and absence of a listener. That being said, if I feel that one member's situation requires a lot of care and group support may reiterate the same points over and not be very helpful, I PM the member.

At times, it happens, that a member turns to SR to vent. and I usually feel that SR is better than Personal Chats for venting, as there are a lot more people to acknowledge the issue, so, I usually do not PM them. Also, if they are facing something common, like bullying, and there are other members in the chat who have previous experience with it, I believe that they are well off in SR.

Final case that I can think of: If one member stops talking about what they are going through as they notice that someone else has something they feel is more pressing, after providing initial support to the just-entered member, I try to give equal importance to both. Sometimes, they are able to help each other out too!

Any additional suggestions and/or critiques are welcome. We always learn from each other.

Joy, this was truly an issue that needed to be addressed. Thank you very much for bringing it up :)

I believe that more than treating anything stated here, as an algorithmic approach, your intuition would be the most helpful. This is just in case, you cannot decide... :P

@bouncySalamander26

Wow! That makes a lot of sense. I now know how to best handle a situation like this when it comes because it has ever happened before and I was like, ...."Now what do I do?"

Thank you for sharing your idea on this matter.

@bouncySalamander26 awesome. Thank you for sharing your thoughts.

Usually, chats happen parallel in the rooms and members/ listeners back up each other to ensure everyone gets timely support. And that is one of the best things about group support I like. It is good to see how people join together to support more than one person at the same time.

@TaranWanderer yes agreed and we are on it Taran. We started Get to know you session in ASilentObserver Office at 12 pm et. We would love to have you.

Would love to see a support group for non-ADD partners whose partner has ADD.

@jbunnylive what is ADD? Bunny! Also sure. We can think about that. We can host couple of sessions in Support session room..

@ASilentObserver

I genuinely think that there should be a pet of this site where a listener is assigned or pick a member to check in with everyday, talk about their day and assess their mood and such!

@ASilentObserver @FranzFerdinandSam

Wow, that is a great idea. It is like a long term listener or something. I, however, think it is happening. There is a link which allows a listener to support a member on a long term basis. You have to fill a form also making it official.

@FranzFerdinandSam

This is what Glen thinks about having a long time listener. He compares it to having a sponsor in AA meetings.

https://www.7cups.com/forum/GlensNook_84/Community_547/Sponsorson7Cups_55046/

Laura expounds more on it and talks about the requirements to become a sponsor or sponsee

https://www.7cups.com/wiki/what-is-a-long-term-listener-and-how-to-be-one-information-for-listeners/

This is a forum on how to acquire the badges

https://www.7cups.com/forum/LongTermSupport_169/Whatdoeslongtermsupportmeanon7Cupsbestpracticeslearning_1135/SponsorProgramBadgesHowtogetyoursponsorsponseebadges_66097/

This is the form that enables one to start sponsoring

https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSc0ha6yprbKof961qNZgRuZgdf4_FfpGgyXYCbw6jgO7huv4w/viewform

@JoyHappyNess Thank you for sharing these links Joy

@JoyHappyNess Agrre, n have had 3-4. It's such a great way to go, having long time listener.... As you dthon't have to go thru previous updating a new listener. Unfortunately my first two who have and were wonderful have left the site. 3rd and most recent has just left the site :( . Began with my 4th about a month ago. Very nice, n has checked in with me seeing how all is going. Unfortuanately I've been under the weather and not able to reply.... Look forward to seeing him.her again. :)

@FranzFerdinandSam I love that idea. I have a listener that kind of does that with me but we live in different time zones so talking every day is difficult and we do it more like once a week when we get the chance.

@Reaper111975 that is nice Reaper. Also, you can try taking 3 steps in the progress path every day. They are small steps and could help you feel better and grow.

@ASilentObserver Thank you for the advice I do try doing something every day to work towards my goals and check in here at least once to check messages if nothing else.

I think that the ideal 7 Cups chat shouldn't have to be as heavily monitored and less judgemental and more welcoming and less 1-1 chats. Wether or not that would actually happen would make this site very strict and also very ranked almost like it's own online goverment system and so far 7 Cups I feel has done a good job making it so there are not social classes on here like a goverment. There are people who are willing to help and probaly a bunch more registering to help but it's not like only boys can or only girls can be a listener which makes it tolerable and a good site. That's my thoughts.