My daily ramblings
I am finally going to follow the lead and try and avoid posting in multiple different places. I am going to try and do most of my rambling in this thread.
My cognitive issues are making it harder and harder for me to focus on multiple things. That combined with my laundry list of other issues, makes functioning at all near impossible.
Having to go through medication experimentation again is going to make it even harder.
Whenever I have to refocus because I literally can’t remember blocks of time or where I am and why I’m here kinds of things , I’m usually able to come here and figure out through my posts and profile etc.
That has proven to not work very well at times. I wondered if I centralized my thoughts here that maybe that might work better.
That also keeps me from being a distraction from those who are more deserving than I.
Thank you for sharing your thoughts, appreciate them, feels like we all are in this together in your journey ✨
How is it possible that I can have such a migraine to bring tears to my eyes yet the thoughts on my head still race. Am I completely going off the deep end? So many different issues, I feel like I’m fending them off from every direction at once.
How can I stand a chance when focus is needed to stay calm and address when thoughts race, brain flickers, and focus is the thing I am losing completely?
I have survived ( if that’s what you choose to call it) a lifetime of battles with my issues, not necessarily winning just surviving. To get to this point of feeling I have been surrounded and getting struck from every direction with no hope of getting away .
I am so close to giving up the fight. I preach acceptance, I should stop fighting and accept whatever comes.
What can I hope to gain? I am destined to struggle, so if I stop struggling the other side loses.
I have had a taste of the positive side of the fence, it was extremely tasty and addictive but if I am to keep experiencing a taste of a little bit more then get yanked back into the pit that I just got pulled from I am not sure it’s worth it.
Yes, my despair is prominent right now, I don’t have the strength to fight anymore. I am thinking that with keeping things limited to this thread that if I realize that I have nothing new to say that I shouldn’t say anything.
I enjoy the basic simplicity of the thread by @juliak1968 of the count to a million, but my focus has gotten to the point that I look at the last number and then got to post I forget that number, I tried writing down but if I do multiple I confuse myself Unfortunately. I don’t know if I can continue to contribute to that thread.
Oh my goodness, Iam, that's such a wonderful idea to put all the nice things that have been said to you on a tree to decorate it!
I love that idea so much. It's so affirming.
I hope you're hanging in there. Migraines can be so debilitating. One day at a time. Glad you're posting here. I like reading your thread!
Love, Pat
@PatienceImpatiens
The tree thing is done, in case you’re interested. A couple of pictures and a few links to short clips are posted also, later in this thread. Pages 7 and 9 maybe. I started a separate thread for this tree dedication gift . I don’t remember what I called it . So I will find the name of it if you want me to. It was requested of me to take some pictures of them completed, I will be doing that in a few hours if I remember.
I periodically wonder what it would feel like to feel the warm embrace and company of someone who loves me. Would it feel as warm and wonderful as those words express that I have read several times in the past? Would it help to comfort me, would I be able to reciprocate that loving embrace?
As I lay here with my aching head and fevered body and failing mentality, I am left to ponder the same things over and over and over. I have spent the night dozing off frequently for a few minutes and then waking with a start from what seems to be a very vivid experience. Flashbacks, imagination, combination, I don’t know but not pleasant things.