Death and Anger
Does anyone else deal with anger issues? (Please overlook the language. It's how I speak)
I mean, I turned 60 this year. You must understand that with the lifestyle that I led I wasn't sure I would make it to 30. Then 40 passed, 50, and now....what the hell do I do?!
I've become the personification of the Cantankerous Old Man! Basically....I'm an asshole. And I came to 7 Cups with the wrong attitude. I've been rude to a couple of Listeners and to those I Apologize.
In February 2021 my Mother passed away from Parkinson's. She suffered horribly and I felt completely helpless. Now mind you, I'm a 6'1 bearded heavily tattooed man and I'm Bipolar 1 with Psychotic Features. Not much gets to me as far as my emotions but my moms passing and the way she suffered literally broke me totally. My mom was the one in the family who was always handing out to others, always giving.
She was the matriarch of the huge family and now that she's gone absolutely no one in the family, including my brother who I love dearly, will have anything to do with me at all. I've been alone since.
I guess that's what being an asshole gets me. So now no family, maybe one or two occasional friends, just me and Ruby my little dog. I'm not sure what has happened. I was always a very social person and now I don't leave my home unless it's absolutely necessary. And I try to deal with all this anger by myself and I must say that I haven't been very successful.
If I offend here on this app, anyone, allow me to apologize in advance.
I'm lost, confused, and flailing around.