Burnout
The crisis I am in right now is burnout...burnout from my job, mostly. So, I'm worried that I'm about to do something drastic, like quit my job without having another one, and without any savings to even get me through the next month.
I am really trying to hang on, but it's difficult. I have hated my job from the first week I was there, but have been unable to find anything else so have been in the job almost 4 years. My boss is not a nice person, but he's also the type of boss who hates hiring people, so I know I will likely never be fired.
So, I have taken advantage of that and I worry that it has changed me as a person. I am normally motivated, productive, efficient. My boss has made it so I cannot be efficient. A lot of times, since I work from home, I just sit there, fake working, getting paid, accomplishing nothing and this is really wearing on me, since I am actively not being productive or motivated. I am not that person and it has helped my self-esteem plummet.
My mom insists that I stay in the job and basically fleece my boss, getting paid for not working. She says he deserves it and although he might, I feel like I am helping his company to fail. But also, sitting at work and feeling like I'm not doing anything, or actually not being able to do anything because of the things my boss does, is the worst way to spend the work day.
I have looked for other jobs, but not seriously. I'm so exhausted after I get off work that I almost can't function. My days off are spent just trying to recuperate from the week.
Anyway, I worry that I am just going to quit. I really think I need to, but there is that fear there of not having any income that is so worrying.