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Burnout

LovelyPlace4774 April 14th, 2022

The crisis I am in right now is burnout...burnout from my job, mostly. So, I'm worried that I'm about to do something drastic, like quit my job without having another one, and without any savings to even get me through the next month.

I am really trying to hang on, but it's difficult. I have hated my job from the first week I was there, but have been unable to find anything else so have been in the job almost 4 years. My boss is not a nice person, but he's also the type of boss who hates hiring people, so I know I will likely never be fired.

So, I have taken advantage of that and I worry that it has changed me as a person. I am normally motivated, productive, efficient. My boss has made it so I cannot be efficient. A lot of times, since I work from home, I just sit there, fake working, getting paid, accomplishing nothing and this is really wearing on me, since I am actively not being productive or motivated. I am not that person and it has helped my self-esteem plummet.

My mom insists that I stay in the job and basically fleece my boss, getting paid for not working. She says he deserves it and although he might, I feel like I am helping his company to fail. But also, sitting at work and feeling like I'm not doing anything, or actually not being able to do anything because of the things my boss does, is the worst way to spend the work day.

I have looked for other jobs, but not seriously. I'm so exhausted after I get off work that I almost can't function. My days off are spent just trying to recuperate from the week.

Anyway, I worry that I am just going to quit. I really think I need to, but there is that fear there of not having any income that is so worrying.

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RarelyCharlie April 19th, 2022

@LovelyPlace4774 It sounds like you're getting to the point where you're going to have to make changes, because you can't go on in your job the way things are. So I guess that will maybe mean finding ways not to be so exhausted so you have the energy to look for other jobs more seriously? Without knowing the details, it's difficult to see that just quitting would be a good way to manage the transition, but is that the only way you can get free and find a better future?

Charlie

1 reply
LovelyPlace4774 OP April 19th, 2022

@RarelyCharlie

I do think that quitting would spur me into action, but also worry that I won't be able to find another job very quickly. I know I have to figure things out, but feel lost right now.

I appreciate your response 😊

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lpf100 April 20th, 2022

@LovelyPlace4774I

I am so where you are at. I sit and feel unimportant and unmotivated in my job as well. I am actively looking, but finding most jobs just want you to work remote. I am not a work at home person. I did it for almost 2 1/2 years. I have been in this job now for almost 6 years. I love doing my job..social work but I have been forced to stay at home..until recently when I asked my boss to return to office. I was given permission to go 2 days a week. I guess I feel lonely at home and lonely at the office. I am a social worker and certified case manager...I sit most days and yes do nothing. No one calls me on the phone...there are no meetings.zoom I attend. It's almost like I am not there. I can't quit my job..I need medical insurance. I know lots of folks like remote work. It is so much not me. I find myself depressed mostly at work at home. I feel trapped. I need a change so badly. I don't know where to start..I am actively looking. To work in office I need to take a pay cut. I can do that I guess...as long as there is adequate insurance. I ask myself...why do I get up and go into the office everyday...for the $ for the insurance...Is everyone where I am? Do people just stay in jobs that don't fulfill you? I am lost

2 replies
GiGi52 April 20th, 2022

I can relate to you but I don't get to sit on my job. I just changed jobs and regret it. I went from a front desk job in a huge company (not hotel) to factory work (machine operator). I changed for the higher pay but I still regret it and miss my old job everyday. I have been burnt out and hoped going back to factory would help but when you're over 55 nothing helps. You just want to throw the towel in and retire, say the heck with it! I wish I could find an at home job and work four to six hours a day. I'd take it in a heartbeat.

amiablePeace77 April 21st, 2022

@lpf100

I can feel the despair in you when you talk about this. It's really hard to do something you feel you're not made for. I hope things will change soon and you can do the job you love again. Good that you already started to look for something new. Have you considered to volunteer at any place, maybe in the weekend? I find volunteering can make you feel very connected to others and much less lonely.

Sending you comforting hugs. ❤️

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InquireWithin April 20th, 2022

Speaking from experience, here... working in a soul-killing job is so, so not worth it in the long run. It drains you. It sets the stage for depression, or physical illness from the stress of it all.

Only you can decide what to do next but I hear your spirit crying for something different. I just finished watching a podcast from Kyle Cease who pointed out that the responsible thing to do is not stay in a situation you hate. Rather, it's irresponsible to do so. We need to rewire our thinking, he says. The responsible thing to do is to listen to your heart.

"Redefining Responsible" by Kyle Cease

https://youtu.be/u11KLsyCjiU

1 reply
GiGi52 April 20th, 2022

I agree with that but you have to do a huge amount of soul searching when you change jobs. It will never be the change you hoped for but you got out of the rut.


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CyclingThroughLife April 20th, 2022

I also have been in a career that sucks that life outta me and have thought about changing many times. My problem is I'm too far invested to do something that drastic. In 4 and a half years, I can retire with 65 percent of my base pay and medical insurance for the rest of my life, all at 55 years old...I'm living day to day at that place and its draining me mentally, physically and emotuonally but I do it for the future....I work in a correctional facility and have been doing that work since 1997 and am so ready to go....my advice to you is find something about the job you can look forward to in the future, talk to a professional about the situation and come up with some coping skills...and enjoy your like outside of work knowing better days are coming.... That is the most important part of this.....that is what works for me.

Dallady April 21st, 2022

You’re incredibly lucky to have a job! Especially one that puts you in a position to help so many. Why aren’t you content with that? With having more then most of the population?! Time to look within and listen to that innermost voice instead of just wishing for things to change and put new positive habits into practice instead of blaming others. You can do it! It just takes a bit of time and effort. Otherwise you’ll be where you are years from now! Start with stopping all criticism. Replace negative thoughts about yourself, your job and your boss with positive ones. Practice being grateful about every small thing in your life. Make “I’m so grateful and thankful for ____” your daily mantra. Meditate all the time. Take a five minute break every two hours. Send good energy out into the world, give it time, and watch how small successes build upon themselves to increase your self esteem, and watch how it comes back to you threefold. See a counsellor or professional if it becomes too much to manage balancing emotion with reason. Tell the world you’re taking control of what you can and willing to change. You don’t need to understand exactly why things happen in order to make positive change. Just order from the menu of life and wait for I tot o change come with as much fun as possible. Push yourself. You need to in order to grow. NOTHING will change otherwise! Fortune favours the bold. Look at yourself in a mirror and say as positive of words as you can. Be realistic about it...you don’t have to say “hey hot stuff, you millionaire, you world beloved leader”. Start with “I’m willing to learn to like you and have more awareness and energy”. Then allow the mind to process the way a chef allows their food to cook. Forcing the way through life doesn’t work. I don’t know how many people who have been in a fight or ignored could vouch for how ineffective this behaviour is as it just attracts more situations where one is ignored and struggling. You could start with “I’m willing to change. Show me the first, small step that needs to be done and let me do it with awareness, ease, full presence, and love”. You will most likely not get an answer at first because changing ourselves is like growing a garden...we must plant the seeds and allow them to grow, not demand they be here now then do nothing like an infant! There’s things we can do like keep our spaces neat and tidy. Hang lovely art near doors so when we enter a new place we enter through beauty. Put a sign near your workstation that says something like “my work is a divine reflection of the good life. Everyone around me benefits from the work I do, including me. I bless everyone and everything included in my work from my boss to the walls and equipment to the windows and floors. It’s safe and nourishing and wonderful to be here, where I make good money with lots of joy and wonder.” Of course it will sound like nonsense at first. Anything new will be difficult and impossible at the beginning and there’s no momentum built up. It could take months of repetition every day to reprogram the mind into thinking a more encouraging and abundant way. That’s better then doing nothing and spending the rent of your life in misery though, at least I think it is. Also how are your morning and evening routines? Do you go to bed full of peace, relaxed and with a smile, and wake up the same way? If not begin. Push those negative thoughts out and allow the positive ones. It’s that simple. Easy? No. Worth it? ABSOLUTELY!!

potword5 April 21st, 2022

@LovelyPlace4774 thank you for sharing! i too have been in similar situations where i know i need to move on because i am not in a healthy state of mind. while it may seem scary at first, i recommend you do what you think is best for you. finding a new source of income can be daunting but i think you will find one once you have better head space away from the job. wishing you the best!