overwhelemed
im feeling so overwhelmed idk what i want to do in life exceppt sleep all the time. im on disability and it pays the bills but gotta do something with my life not play games all day. thought about many options still cant decide got no car pet would be nice but so much work and responsibility. been evicted a few times so much has happened and im already 37yo pretty scared and btw im a guy if it matters. i see a therapist but idk what would help. maybe a house and car and travel or move to another country or apprenticeship or this or that idk anymore
@determinedZebra820
Small steps....work,small changes.
When we are in a situation we do not want to see that. we think up what if we did this or that? and convince ourselves that would solve this or that but ... in reality moving would be same issues different place. Make a plan or list of small things you would like to do... try one and then another spend a whole day not playing games and then another ....
go out if possible to see the world around you. maybe you could pet sit for someone to experience if a pet would help or be too much.
@toughTiger6481 yea so many options life passing me by hate apartment living and upstairs neighbors floorboards I do get out at times though
@determinedZebra820 I just want to scream I've had it so much anger
@determinedZebra820
Anger and frustration is a powerful thing in sidelining us or having us do something impulsive.
What would you like to do? and what steps would it take to accomplish that ?
i have been stuck and angry and feeling like I could not do things until I pushed myself to do one thing and then one thing more etc. i used to find myself daydreaming or planning in my mind ... it starts as an escape .... then becomes a trap......... because the steps to our goal ....take effort and planning and sometimes setbacks ....... we skipped all that in our wishing/ daydreaming we could do ___( insert item). do you have any supportive friends or family? sometimes when we start to change we need a coach/ cheerleader that pushes us out of our comfort zone.
if your neighbors in apartment frustrate you have you spoken to them ? or just letting things continue to bother you. talking may not resolve a noise issue but you will know you did something.
@toughTiger6481 wrote letter to neighbor and sometimes tell in apartment to rid my stress
@determinedZebra820
Well that is a good thing ... believe it or not many do not say anything or write letter etc and just let it bother them ...
you made the choice and did so i am sure whatever you feel overwhelmed about you can do it..... you are stronger then you .......realize most people are.
@toughTiger6481 but I just yelled again
@determinedZebra820 punched my pillow did some push ups if I had someone by my side for once or something idk
@toughTiger6481 I can't take it anymore idk what happened to me but I'm unhappy angry miserable
@determinedZebra820
I feel your anger and frustration ....
I have felt like that too could barely get out of bed wanted to harm myself ... and just like not knowing why I was so down. It is hard to break out and i asked for help. It does not have to be another person but i challenged myself ......................to do things everyday even if i absolutely dreaded it.... I felt it was impossible ... I challenge myself everyday to do something I have procrastinated or ignored ....I push myself to do things i have not done. Not going to lie i do not always accomplish these self made tasks but when i do ... i shows me I CAN
@toughTiger6481 I keep praying but nothing is working
@determinedZebra820 I have a few friends but haven't told them my whole story or anything maybe I'll never be happy or carefree
@determinedZebra820
When we pray we often want a certain outcome .... the answer to our prayer may not be exactly what we wanted. If it is not the answer we want we may ignore it...
Sometimes we just need to take a super deep breath and start anew instead of the path we thought we would take.
@toughTiger6481 I'm trying but I'm jealous of my sister cause she is married and I have no one to help me I'm trying to help myself but I can't do it anymore
@determinedZebra820
I think very strong ... admitting all you have about how you feel admitting jealousy over something you do not have. It is an accomplishment so many live in denial and could never admit things so hold your head high.
I am in a similar position. I am not disabled but have a severe mental illness. But stuck in, no job. Family has money, so I survive. I need to get a life.
I know how you feel. I'm also disabled. I sat in my house for years with nothing to do. I kept trying to figure out ways to be active but it never panned out. My dog was the only reason I didn't do myself in. But now he's dead, I sold my house and my father stole my money so I have nowhere to live, I tried to move across the country to be with my fiance of 7 years and she kicked me out after a month and her getting the rest of my money, and I'm in constant pain. So things can get much worse. If you're able to in suggest traveling. Even if it's small trips locally at first. Also a big problem for me has always been not being able to be productive so there's no meaning to anything. So if you can work on things, build things, or help others in some way that will make you feel accomplished and give your life meaning.
@franklin9000 yea I'd love to travel but it's expensive idk what I want anymore yet I don't want to waste life either
Traveling is really cheap if you do it right. When I travel I go by motorcycle and bring a tent, sleeping bag, and air mattress. If you wanted to travel to other countries you can travel to poor countries where the cost of living is much cheaper. The plane tickets are like a grand, but if you stay for a couple months the low cost of living makes up for it.
If you have any hobbies or skills where you can be productive and you make yourself do it regularly it gives meaning to your life. I know it's hard to do, especially at first, but it helps.
If you don't mind me asking how old are you and what's your disability? I just joined this so idk if you can, but if you want to message me and talk you're welcome to. I have no one to talk to, am really down, and really lonely. So it would help me too.
@franklin9000 in 37 overweight always tired don't work sleep too much
I'm 39 and underweight. I have a spinal cord injury but can still walk short distances. You should try forcing yourself to exercise. I understand how hard it is to start doing that and that it's even hard to keep doing it consistently. But I promise you that if you start doing something productive it will make you feel better. Then after a while you'll feel better about your physical appearance and you'll feel better physically. And then looking back you'll have accomplishments to feel good about. Then you also might feel good about talking to girls (or dudes whatever you're into) and that always makes people feel good. I've been trying to exercise a bit everyday or every other day. It's just difficult to gain weight and muscle because I don't have money for food or a way to cook food. But it still makes me feel a bit better and it helps with the pain a bit in the long run.
@determinedZebra820 Really sorry to hear you are struggling! It sounds like you are doing all that you can to work on bettering yourself and your situation. I would recommend thinking about and doing one small thing per day that may improve your mood (even slightly). These little moments will add up!
@DrMelissaB trying to figure out what may have led to my current feelings but so much has happened up to now maybe I was never happy
Yes, feeling directionless and being placed with all these thoughts with no one to guide you is an awful feeling and I'm glad you are sharing your thoughts here.
There are many options you can take, but first you should make a list of what YOU want, do you want to live a simple life or do you want more. Being content with a simple life is not a negative trait and as long as you stick to it it will help guide your goals like how much money do you need to reach this ideal life for yourself, what job would I want that could lead to this goal, does it have to be something big or something small?
Man to man, I believe it's best to first establish what your current situation is, did you go to school, do you remember any fond memories, did you have any moments of accomplishment after a fierce struggle. Reflecting on the past is something people take for granted and I assure you first knowing yourself is important.
Video games could be the start, you enjoy games yeah? so why not consider attending a game dev course. In Japan there's a concept called Ikigai where our purpose in life should be balanced with something we are interested in, can make money from and gives the world something we hope for. Many people who choose a purpose that doesn't fit them will never be happy but those without purpose will also become unhappy when they doubt the purpose they didn't have.
Many people can feel trapped and overwhelmed in your situation and the best solution is planning for the future. Even if you don't currently have massive plans, make sure you set yourself for tasks that engage you but don't scare you off. View the time you think was wasted as a step to recover and prepare before making a big step.
As long as you realize your problems and make small steps to resolve em then that hard work will pay off. I hope you find a purpose and direction in life that will get you out of your slump. And if you ever feel stressed again don't be afraid to post again.
-SunnyLake
@sunnyLake7661 I just am so overwhelmed idk what else to do except yelling to release
@determinedZebra820 I really don't know what I want anymore or who I am what I value nothing and physc wards don't help
@determinedZebra820
Take some time to calm down and when you're ready try something, then go for it.
If you feel mad or have really bad thoughts, then you need to channel that into something and determine the best way to help yourself. Feeling overwhelmed will only cloud how you think, so find a time when you aren't overwhelmed, to try and sort yourself out.
Therapy and psyche wards won't fix people's life; there's no cure for the past but they can provide some form of direction or help keep you going on the right direction, I think you should consider this after you decide what's best for yourself.
Purpose is a subjective thing, many people don't know what to do in life. But if you just go running around in circles then you'll only end up back where you started.
-SunnyLake
@sunnyLake7661 yea idk whats best for myself idk who i am or what i want. idk how to solve my issues or fix myself too much has happened got evicted from apartment few months ago and now im in a city i feel scared in compared to last one. a vacation be nice but then id be in cc debt. i feel lonely have a few friends but still feel lonely need a boyfriend someone to hold me im gay btw and a guy
@determinedZebra820 having someone by my side in life wouldd help someone to comfort me to hold me been through so much can hardly laugh or cry just anger inside scared overwhelemed
@determinedZebra820
Thank for sharing you are working so hard to keep going and I see it even if you don't. Don't abandon yourself. Use the things you are sad about as a basis for what you want. Then start thinking about how you could better yourself to achieve them.
Improvement takes time, love and relationships take time to form. If birds never looked up, then when would they ever fly; you need to think about what you can control yourself; things like your health or your thoughts that will lead you to the things you yearn for, it's not easy, but only you can determine if you'll ever reach them.
Be patient, keep trying, as long you remember your goals you'll achieve them even if they appear distant. Life may seem incredibly hard for now, but the struggle is worth it. Keep going.
-SunnyLake
@sunnyLake7661 thank u
Yea gotta do something tired of sitting around every day time flying by 37yo already scary just no motivation to do anything guess having disability payments makes me lazy overweight acting out in public etc
@sunnyLake7661 if I had someone help me when I was younger my life is a mess don't know last time I laughed or cried what if I never figure out my life
@sunnyLake7661 a car would be nice I but don't want to be in debt I guess I'm stuck and hate apartment so yea I'm so lost
@determinedZebra820 i wonder if neighbor above me makes noise on purpose idk maybe i sit inside too much going crrazy and paranoid
@determinedZebra820
If you can't get a car then how about a bicycle, insurance is quite expensive and gas is also. If you want to go long distances; a car is better, but a bicycle is something you can get cheap good quality ones on *** marketplace or amazon for 100-300 bucks. The pick up may be rough but I highly recommend, It may be rough at the start given how you describe your physicality, but it should help get you to go out a fair bit without emptying your pockets.
@sunnyLake7661
Hey just wanted to check back and make sure you're still hanging in there? How is everything on your end?
@sunnyLake7661
Also I apologize if my previous comment came as fairly abrasive
@determinedZebra820 yo I get it. I'm not on disability, but I've been evicted multiple times and I feel like I have no purpose. But a wise soul once told me that it takes time to find your purpose, you just have to be patient and keep on doing your best. So keep on pushing. You'll make it eventually.
@Lymboangelic wish i had someone to hold me comfort me life is so hard alone
@determinedZebra820 idk where I want to live permanently or anything and can't just go buy a house tomorrow
@determinedZebra820
I hope your okay... Message me if you aren't.
@Imprezzza hi was feeling paranoid about person outside apartment building driving nearby and then driving away maybe I isolate too much afraid of being targeted
@Imprezzza I'm going crazy inside all the time thinking so much got no one idk what to do
@determinedZebra820 I'm a 39 F in an abusive relationship with no car and dealing with medical issues myself. I'm not on disability just yet but have thought about applying for it.
Whenever I need to recalibrate my compass back to true north, I always think about what I wanted to be when I grew up or what my favorite hobbies were as a child. Sometimes we have to take a glimpse in the past to use as a point of reference for the future. Sometimes all it takes is a slight shift in perspective. It's easy to see for others, but even harder to see for ourselves when we aren't looking.
I hope this helps! 😊
@redPark9371 but I literally have no one I'm not doing well at all just going crazy
@determinedZebra820 thinking I might be happier somewhere warm year round another country perhaps somewhere peaceful
I feel stuck going to the VA for veterans care I get triggered by it but they won't let me see community care and Medicare would get expensive