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glowingKiwi
50,283
L Specialist
5 star rating
Rating
Number of ratings29 Number of reviews23 Listens toOver 18 LanguagesEnglish, Dutch Listener sinceJul 20, 2019 Last activeover 6 months ago PathStep 129 People helped136 Chats787 Group support chats57 Listener group chats32 Forum posts20 Forum upvotes26
Bio
#BLACKLIVESMATTER


Hiya!!

Good that you are dropping by my profile! I am a verified listener here on 7cups. My pm's are a safe, positive and accepting🍀 place full with cookies 🍪 and huggies 🤗


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I accept you 🌸

* I accept you with all your flaws and all the mistakes you've made 

* I accept you and all your disabilities and physical or mental illnesses

* I accept you with whatever believes you might have 

* I accept you you with who ever you are in love with

* I accept you for you, never change who you are

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About me 🦋
Hiya!! I am Marit ^^ and I am a Dutchie 😊 I love huggies and cookies 🍪 I have gone through my own difficult times which included depression, a burn out, domestic violence, self-harm and passive suicidal thoughts (I am happy with the life I live now and I do not feel suicidal anymore)  and family members/friends with disabilities. I found my ways to recover and I am accepting what happened, know that whatever you might be going through, you are not alone and I am here for you.

It will get better and it is okay not to be okay 💕 it is okay to cry 💕 it is okay to feel insecure 💕 it is okay not to have your life together 💕 it is okay to put your mental health first 💕 and it it okay to show your emotions 💕

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My listenings style ⭐️

Heya! I currently am able to support long term support, I take chats with each a limit of 45 minutes and in that time I’ll totally focus on you and try to offer the best support I possibly can 💝 I'm focussing during the chat on giving you a safe place to tell me whatever is going through your mind, I will not give you any advice, but I do can look with you how to figure a few things out/what you should do, without giving you any advice 💘
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My roles 🍀

* Verified listener - for my ah-mazing listening 

~ I live in the CEST time zone ~
Recent forum posts
Why Should I Stop Self Harming If It Helps? [POSSIBLE TRIGGER WARNING]
Self-Harm Recovery / by glowingKiwi
Last post
 May 28th, 2020
...See more Self Harm recovery is very very difficult. What, for me at least, is one of the most difficult things is the following question: Do I even want to recover? I mean, it helps right? I understand you, I have been there too. And I am here with you today to guide you through my personal answer to the question: Why should I stop self harming if it helps? Note: I am not a proffessional and have no proffesional knowledge. This is just my answer I give people who are struggling with this question and I decided to write a forum thread about it. Note 2: This is a topic that might be triggering, if you feel triggered at any point during this thread you might want to consider talking to a listener. You can find a listener here [https://www.7cups.com/BrowseListeners/]. I first want to start of by saying hi, I am glad you came to this thread *offers a cookie 🍪*. I am GlowingKiwi :). I know, from personal experience, self harm can be kind off helpful. It might be a way to punish ourselves, feel alive, relieve stress or numb some emotions. Self harm is a coping mechanism. An unhealthy one. Self harm almost always has an underlaying cause. Finding this underlaying cause might be very difficult. Maybe we already know our emotions that cause our self harming behaviour, for example: self hatred, numbness, stress, fear, distressing thoughts, emotions and/or feelings or anything else. Now I want you to ask yourself, why am I experiencing this emotion? When did it start? Try to find the underlying cause. (Bullying, abuse, rape, depression etc.) We use self harm as a way to cope with that. But, if it helps to cope us, why should we stop?? Well, what self harm does is it helps us for a little. Maybe for a minute, maybe a few minutes, maybe just a few seconds. It is like a cycle. We start feeling distressing emotions, feelings and/or thoughts, it gets overwhelming, we self harm, we feel temporary relieve, and some time later the distressing emotions, feelings and/or thoughts will be there again. Self Harm may help cope, but does it really solve the problem? The answer is easy, no, it doesn't. What this means is that as long as we do not solve the problem or find healthier coping skills it is very difficult for us to recover. But then once again, why should we stop if maybe we are okay with being hurt and self harming? I want you to imagine yourself at the day you graduate, are you still self harming then? Hiding your scars and tools? How about when you get married? When you'll have kids? When you are a grandpa/grandma? Do you really want to still hide your tools then? Get scared when somebody asks 'show me your arms'? Do you really still want to be self harming then? If your answer is yes to that then that is okay. You don't HAVE to stop self harming, I am not telling you you should. That is your decision to make. It is your decision to make if you want to try to recover. And if you don't want that that is okay too for me. If your answer is no, then there is your reason. Your reason to stop self harming. Our self harm won't stop unless we learn the right coping skills that work for us or learn to control or solve the underlaying problem (such as depression, trauma, self hatred, etc.). Is it gonna be easy? No, it is not and I am also not going to pretend it will be. It will be a fight, but I know, that with the right strength, you can do this.💕 You can beat self harm. 💕I believe in you. 💕You are not alone in this and I am proud of you. *hugs* Lots of love 💞💖💕, Kiwiii
FAQ about Self Harm (POSSIBLE TRIGGER WARNING)
Self-Harm Recovery / by glowingKiwi
Last post
 May 17th, 2020
...See more Heya guys!! Here are some Frequently Asked Questions about Self Harm and some (basic) information about SH. POSSIBLE TRIGGER WARNING: This post may be triggering for some, be careful and if you start feeling triggered just close this thread. If you want to talk about it contact a listener through a general request or browser for a listener here [https://www.7cups.com/BrowseListeners/] Note: I am not a therapist or have any proffesional knowledge. I am a recovered Self Harmer and I am here to spread some knowledge and information I have learned/gained over the past few months. 1. What is Self Harm? Self Harm, also referred to as self injury, is described as any behaviour that intentionally harms yourself to cope with difficult feelings, emotions and/or thoughts without having intentions of suicide. There are many ways one may harm themselves (e.g., cutting, scratching, burning, hitting their head against the wall, hitting, carving) and the severity off the harm is different by each person and each time. Keep in mind that SH is not equal to suicide. Self Harm is a temporary solution, while suicide is a permanent 'solution'. Many people who are struggling with SH also do NOT have the intention, urges or thoughts about ending their lifes. 2. Why do we Self Harm? The reasons why we harm ourselves can be different for everyone. Here are a few reasons people may self harm. 1. Numbness: One may feel numb, which may lead to self harming urges. You feel some form of a feeling again. Alternative Coping skills examples: Use a red pen to mark where you usually hurt yourself, Rub ice on your skin where you usually hurt yourself, Submerge your face, arm, or leg in a bucket of ice water, Put elastic bands on wrists, arms, or legs and flick them. 2. Guilt/Punishment: One may feel an extreme feeling of guilt and feel the urge to harm themselves as a form of punishments. Alternative coping skills examples: Write down exactly how you feel on a piece of paper, rip it apart and throw it away. Hit a punching bag. Take a walk. 3. To stop emotions, feelings and/or thoughts: Physical pain might replace emotional pain. Alternative coping skills examples: Journaling your emotions, Talking to a friend, although not necessarily about self-harming, Creating artwork (you could integrate helpful alternative thoughts as a part of the artwork) 4. To get control: One may feel the urge to get control back. When we self harm we decide WHEN we want to feel WHAT pain WHERE. Alternative coping skills examples: Draw/write on your body or a piece of paper, excercise, journal your emotions. There are of course many other reasons one may self harms, but these are the 4 main ones I have experienced myself/seen others experience. For more depth in reasons why we self harm check the links at the bottom of this forum 3. Do we Self Harm for attention? You might expect an no from me, but for some people it is a yes (in my opinion!!). Some people indeed do self harm for attention. (Hear me out on this one before you are mad at me ) One may feel such an intense emotional pain that they can not express, they might feel like their emotional pain is not taken seriously or are too afraid to tell anybody about it. They might feel not believed. They might Self Harm in the hope somebody will see them and ask if they are doing okay, or that they will finally get the help they need and deserve. For myself, attention might have been a participating reason too I started to self harm. I felt so hopeless and like my problems maybe weren't taken seriously or seen as 'severe enough' (which is not true at all!! Every problem has to be taken seriously, no matter how small or big it is!!). I just wanted the help I knew I needed. I regret it deeply, starting to self harm, but it happened and I am okay with my scars now. 4. I Self Harm, what should I do? - You might have heard this before, but I highly recommend it to talk about it with somebody. I know that can be very scary (later in this threat I'll share some tips on talking with people about it ^^) but I believe in you. If you have a therapist or psychologist I highly recommend telling them about your SH, they can help you If you do not have a therapist/psychologist I recommend telling a friend you can trust, a parent, a teacher, somebody from work, a neighbour or anybody you trust. Talking about it and sharing how you feel can help a lot. - Seek help, for example: therapist, psychologist, school counselor, hotlines etc. - Try recovery tips/methods out. I'll share some great links at the bottom of this thread - Vent, talk about your feelings with a listener on 7cups, write your emotions down or other ways to let your emotions out. - Believe in yourself, I know recovery is difficult, but I already believe in you. You can do this. 5. How do I tell somebody I Self Harm? Telling somebody you Self Harm might be very scary and difficult, I know, I've been there too. What helped me was first telling a friend I knew would support me. They have been struggling with Self Harm too so I knew I could trust them and they would understand me, so it was quite easy to tell them. To tell a friend you could maybe start off by saying for example: 'I let my emotions out on my body', 'I have been/am struggling with self harm', 'I hurt myself to cope with difficult emotions/feelings/thoughts'. There are many ways to open the conversation, do what you think is right and feels right. 6. I know somebody who Self Harms, how can I help them? Listen. That is the most important thing you can do for them. Listen, listen to their emotions and feelings. Don't jump to any conclusions or give any advice. Most of the time the person who is Self Harming just wants to be listened to. Be understood. Be heard. Offer them a hug, talk about their feelings, tell them you are there for them. And if they want to and are ready, maybe take a look together at options for help, such as therapists. Do not judge, do not assume immediately they are suicidal and be understanding. Learn about self harm and how they feel and work together towards recovery :). Some great recources that may be helpfull: - https://www.7cups.com/self-harm/ - A guide to help others who selfharm [https://www.7cups.com/forum/SelfHarmRecovery_65/InformationandResources_1079/Aguidetohelpingotherswhoselfharm_222408/] - Distractions and Alternative Coping Strategies [https://www.7cups.com/forum/SelfHarmRecovery_65/InformationandResources_1079/DistractionsandAlternativeCopingStrategies_221562/] - List of hotilines [https://www.7cups.com/forum/SelfHarmRecovery_65/InformationandResources_1079/ListOfHotlines_222244/] - Understanding your feelings [https://www.7cups.com/forum/SelfHarmRecovery_65/InformationandResources_1079/Copingwithselfharm1Understandingyourfeelings_214128/] - Reasons why we self harm [https://www.7cups.com/forum/SelfHarmRecovery_65/InformationandResources_1079/ReasonsWhyWeSelfHarmPotentialTriggerWarning_156121/] - Who self harms? [https://www.7cups.com/forum/SelfHarmRecovery_65/InformationandResources_1079/WhoSelfHarms_116020/] Last but not least, I am here for you. You are not alone in this and it is gonna be alright again. Lots of love, Kiwiiii
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Feedback & Reviews
Amazing they are so friendly and make me laugh 😂
Listens and provides positive support through affirmations.
loved it! awesome chat!
Great person, good to talk to
we need more people like this person - Ben :)
A list of Strengths of this listener. -compliments that are mostly genuine -share personal experiences -creative responses, one time even pretended to talk to my anxiety about how it was wrong. -good grammar. -listens to what you have to say -empathy -professional, doesn’t talk about their own problems or blame the member and does their job properly. -response time is very good. -understanding, comforting, sweet, compassionate. -Amazing, amazing, amazing, amazing, AMAZING!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Awesome person she helped me so so much and I'm so glad that I met her
Very compassionate and understanding. Love talking with this person.
Understanding, compassionate.
Very sweet person. Liked talking
I started a conversation thinking i wouldn't amount to getting the help i needed instead i found this listener instilling hope and empathy and bringing my faith back to people...i enjoyed this chat and the help that went with it and appreciate it a lot..
She was great and made me feel a lot beyter
The greatest listener and the best one to be your friend as well!!
Really helped me
Very good and like to help and listen to my situation thanks alot
Understands my situation
Really helped me felling better and blamming less myself
Marit is absolutely amazing. I love how she just makes me feel so... comforted, and loved. Amazing listener, never stop shining.
Very kind and understanding
she is the best listener, really understood me and helped me so much - thank you thank you thank you :)
Great listener and doesn’t open u up harshly leads into it
10/10 they are great
Nice and helpful.
Categories
Depression
Managing Emotions
Work Stress
Bullying
Eating Disorder
Panic Attacks
Anxiety
LGBTQ+ Issues
Parenting
Self-Harm
Sleeping Well
Alcohol/Drug Abuse
Family Stress
Weight Management
ADHD
Domestic Violence
Forgiveness
Grief
Social Anxiety
Getting Unstuck
Loneliness
Student Life
PTSD
Disabilities
Self-Esteem
Spirituality
General Mental Health
Recovery
Badges & Awards
42 total badges
Listening Ear Long Ears Magnet PenPal Jester of Smiles Ellen Jump Start Traumatic Experiences Listener Oath Self Harm Sexual Abuse Verified Listener Love Bug Refresher Light Chat Tiny Chat Ray of Hope Affirmative Listening Ace Surviving Domestic Assault Community 101 Sparkler Loyal Friend Tick Tock Fellow Friend NAMI Listener Evolution Steadfast Soul I Steadfast Soul II Steadfast Soul III Proudly Proactive I Reconnection Hero I Reconnection Hero II First Community First Chat First Post Five Steps High 5 Hang 10 Open Door Thankful Heart Gratitude Abound
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