Moderated by
Tracy-Kate Teleke, PsyD, M.A., LMFT
Marriage & Family Therapist
I assist adults and couples in CA experiencing relationship challenges and interpersonal struggles including anxiety, depression, and a myriad of other life challenges.
Top Rated Answers
First of all, good that you want to do it. Sleeping without being at your phone or your laptop before increases your sleep quality and your mental health.
If you don't already have one, I would say you shoul buy yourself an alarm clock. If you have one, you don't need your mobile phone on and near you and night. Next you should pick a certain time to go to bed. Doesn't need to be really early, be realistic. 45 minutes before this time you close your laptop, turn off your mobile phone and put it in another room, e.g. the kitchen.
For better sleeping you can make yourself now some tea, listen to podcasts and read a good book. Book reading is a great way to get sleepy and feel comfortable. Maybe you also can listen to some calm and relaxing music. It'll take some time, but you will soon making this to a new easy habit and you will experience the benefits of your choice.
Have a nice day (sleep)!
Anonymous
April 9th, 2021 6:59am
It often helps to turn your phone off completely. I find it helpful because it forces me to do nothing else but go to sleep. Depending on the phone, there are apps and system preferences that help limit phone usage. The iphone, for example, has bed time and screen limit options you can chose. One other (more extreme) way of putting the phone down is to delete apps you find distracting. Of course, necessary apps should not be deleted, but I found that it helps after I deleted social media apps. I have tried all of these methods and I think it works!
To help put your phone down and get a healthy amount of sleep you can put a screen time limit on your phone. Or if your not comfortable with that you could leave your phone on your kitchen counter or table an hour before you go to bed. This way you have an our before you go to bed, to shower get ready for bed and settle down to go to bed. I know that an hour might seem long but trust me it isn't. It has been proven that if you don't have your phone with you or it is on do not disturb while you sleep you are going to get the proper amount of sleep you need.
Fall asleep to a podcast, movie or youtube video. It's addictive to look on your phone at night. Mindlessly scrolling through social media in order to fall asleep or to avoid your thoughts about the day. But to detox off your phone, have your phone by your side but listen to something rather than watch something. If you like Netflix or Amazon, play a rerun of a favorite show. You already know what's going to happen, so it's a comfort. The law of attraction on Netflix always makes me fall asleep and have good dreams. You can also put a timer on your phone. Will look at my phone for 20 minutes and then go to sleep
Well I personally believe that the best way to put my phone down and go to sleep is to play some soothing music or podcast to help me sleep or I use a internet blocker to restrict my use of screen time on my phone and go to sleep. Another solution is to leave my phone in another room when I'm about to go to sleep. This way I could prevent myself from my desire of using my phone when I'm supposed to be sleeping. The last suggestion that I can think of is using an auditing app on my phone. "Moment" is an app that allows you to limit your screen time for iPhones.
Set an alarm. An annoying one. I'm talking the one you can't ignore even if you hear it from downstairs. When it rings, turn off the phone, get up and put it somewhere out of reach from the bed. Make it more convenient to sleep than to stay on the phone. Then do something to tell your brain it's bedtime. Journal, meditate, change into pajamas, wash your face, brush your teeth, etc. All in soft lighting if possible. This will help your brain produce melatonin, the sleep chemical, and also teach your brain which actions mean sleep time. Good night and peaceful dreams!
Anonymous
August 18th, 2021 12:38am
Hard shut your phone and lock it away in a drawer or cupboard of some sort. If you’re not tired, try reading or walking around your room, sometimes your brain will refuse to sleep as it is not tired so brain stimulating activities such as walking, reading really does help. then get into bed and try sleeping. To help you could try counting upwards or focusing on your breathing or try meditation. Remember if this doesn’t immediately work it isn’t your fault, sleep takes times and no matter how long it takes you will get there, believe in it.
For me, it helps me not to bring it to the bed. If I want to stay on the phone late, fine, I can do it as long as I'm not on the bed. In my case, it means I have to sit on a chair at my desk, which is not nearly as comfortable.
When I finally decide to go to sleep, I leave it on a place I can't reach from the bed, which serves a two-fold purpose:
a) I don't have the temptation to pick it up again if I'm having trouble sleeping;
b) I really have to get up from bed when the alarm rings in the morning.
Hope this helps!
You can set a reminder for your phone to remind you that it's time to sleep. Or get someone close to you to check up on you and make sure you turn off your phone before bed time!
I have similar experience in this, and my mom was really concerned about my sleep quality so she took my phone away at an agreed upon hour. After a few weeks the compulsion to keep using my phone stopped. I'm really grateful that she was so actively involved.
The best thing to do is also set up a routine before sleeping, so your brain and body also prepare themselves for rest.
Anonymous
September 17th, 2021 9:18pm
Our phones can be some of the best tools out there, but only if we keep them solidly in that “tools†category of our lives and not make them an obsession.
Many people have trouble putting down their phones when it's time to sleep and need to set a path toward better sleep. Set a screen timer, for example, set up a timer for 11 pm- can't use your phone after 11 pm till morning. You can also put your phone on airplane mode or in another room before heading to bed. I'm willing to bet 99% of the time, most people don’t get a call in the middle of the night that they needed to deal with urgently. We don’t need to sleep with our phones. Keep your phone out of reach, it may help in keeping the desire to check/use your phone past the screen time in control.
Putting down your phone and going to sleep can be hard at times. The best way to go about this is just to set it out of sight, out of mind. I will admit I tend to stay on my phone too much through the night, but creating a night routine helps. Create a routine where you are not on your phone for at least thirty minutes before you go to sleep so it's not on your mind. I would also turn off your notifications, it can wait until tomorrow. Your sleep is more important than scrolling through social media.
If like many people you rely on and use your phone as your alarm then I suggest putting it on charge overnight on the side of the room farthest from where you sleep, and to put it upside down and on do not disturb mode or mute. This way notifications aren’t tempting you and you can’t just reach out and grab it, but must get up out of your comfy warm blankets. Put it on charge at least 1/2 hour to an hour before you want to sleep; it usually takes 15 minutes for someone just laying there to fall asleep but I know it’s hard when you have stuff on your mind. To keep your mind off of your phone go over your day in detail or do what I do, make up a story. Concentrating on your breathing and meditating are other ways to help you fall asleep.
Set a timer on your phone to have it go into sleep mode. I found this really helpful as a reminder. Other things you can do to remind yourself to put your phone away are set an alarm, or set time limits on specific apps. It’s also helpful to discuss this with a mental health professional or doctor. They can suggest medically-sound ways to switch your body into “sleep modeâ€. Something else that I found helpful is not using my phone in my bed. I use my bed to sleep, and not do any kind of work. This makes my body more ready for sleep when I get into bed, and this way I’m not anticipating screen time.
Plug it in on the other side of the room, or even in another room. This also helps when waking up, at least for me. It's harder to get up, snooze the phone, then go back to bed and fall asleep (as opposed to snoozing the phone when it's right next to you). You may also be able to change your phone settings so that certain apps are locked after a set bedtime, and on androids you can turn everything black and white after that set time. It's worked for me, and I usually go to bed on time now.
Hello there. It sounds like you have built a reliance and found comfort and entertainment on your phone. You are not alone here. I suggest that you set a goodnight rule. Set a time that you will leave your phone on the charger to not be touched again until the morning. One strategy is to do it about an hour before lights are out so that you can use that time to get ready for bed and the next day. You can use that time to brush your teeth, meditate, fill out a journal, or planner. Just make sure that you are prohibiting the use of your phone consistently at a set time and you should be all set!
For me I have found that reading a book helps me to fall asleep faster. I'll have a reading lamp on with essential oils to help relax me. I'll listen to a meditation podcast or some kind of podcast. Listening to some soothing music helps me to fall asleep faster as well. Having the room cold and dark always helps with falling asleep faster. I delete apps that I like to look at before bed and that way I am not tempted to go on them and stick to my bedtime routine. It can be hard, but doable if you make it a habit.
Using a phone can be extremely addicting especially at night. It is a vicious cycle where the phone causes you to have insomnia and makes it very hard to sleep afterwards. For me, I try to at least close my eyes by listening to stuff on my phone rather than watching stuff. It makes it much easier to realize when I should go to sleep from there where I can feel myself drifting away from whatever is playing on my phone. Another way to help cure your "phonecausesyounottosleep" problem is by simply setting a hard deadline for yourself to put the phone down (this wont work for me but maybe it could for you haha). you could enforce this by putting the phone out of reach at a certain time.
I'd begin by stating to yourself what will be the last thing you will do on your phone. That can include watching one last tiktok, reading one last post on social media platforms, or concluding a texting conversation that you're having with a friend/loved one. From there, do your best to hold yourself to the agreement you've made with yourself. This can not only help you move into the process of going to sleep, but also works as a way to build trust within yourself. For me, the last thing I do on my phone/computer/ipad is press play on my sleeping sounds playlist which signifies to myself that it is time to fall asleep. Prior to this though, I usually watch Netflix, but once the episode that I am watching concludes, I won't continue into another episode.
A good way is to disable notifications entirely and setup a sleep mode so that each night it automatically goes silent at exact same time until morning when notifications will automatically turn on again. This way you will not have to set it each day. I have also setup automatic night display mode in which after 9pm the display brightness is lower and the white is more yellow to calm my eyes. If you want to use your phone before going to bed, do it outside your bedroom and after you go to bed leave it away. This way you are separating sleep and relaxation from other activities.
Anonymous
April 22nd, 2022 9:24am
I can understand how this must be a concern. I can relate to some extent, but mine is not out of compulsion or addiction. I have trouble sleeping on my own unless I'm extremely tired. So I have to put on Netflix, or TedTalks to focus my mind and prevent it from going into a train of thoughts which then does not allow me to go to sleep. So practically I do put my phone down, I plug in the earphones and rely on the audio mostly because usually I keep playing the same TV shows again and again so the audio does the job on it's own.
However, if you concern is social media, then I would say delete the damn app. It's not worth, TBH. I deleted my social media, and it had a short term affect, but it had helped me from unnecessary anxiety. So focus on what's really benefitting you.
Just do it! Cold turkey is sometimes the only way to go. Take a deep breath and turn the phone off. If you really can't shut it down completely, switch the phone to "do not disturb". Toss it in your nightstand or in a drawer. Walking away from the phone is truly liberating. You can do this.
Social media can wait. Find a good book to read. Close your eyes and get away from the digital eye strain from blue light. Let your mind relax. You will also sleep so much better.
Social media addiction is not always easy to deal with, but it’s not impossible. It could be a good idea to take small steps towards your goal. Say, you could go to bed a bit earlier, even if it’s 10 minutes it’s still progress. This way you can reduce your screen time. Then you could go further and slowly start to reduce your screen time even more. It won’t happen overnight, so it’s important to be patient with yourself. Also, there are a lot of studies that show how phone addiction relates to dopamine release. It might be helpful if you get aware of the impact your phone produces on the chemicals in your brain.
Anonymous
June 1st, 2022 3:04am
Something that helps me is to think about the reasons why I want to go to sleep. For example, feeling rested in the morning. This is a good incentive to put my phone down. Also, my phone automatically turns to black and white after 9pm so it's not fun to look at. This way I don't feel like reading or watching late in the evening. So I guess the summary is a mix of personal motivation and making the phone unattractive after a certain time. Oh and not taking it to the bedroom - leave it in a different room or a wardrobe.
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