Moderated by
Tracy-Kate Teleke, PsyD, M.A., LMFT
Marriage & Family Therapist
I assist adults and couples in CA experiencing relationship challenges and interpersonal struggles including anxiety, depression, and a myriad of other life challenges.
Top Rated Answers
This is something I struggle with regularly. Set an alarm for the time you want to sleep and make sure to turn your phone onto Do Not Distrub or turn it off when the alarm goes off. Set limits with yourself and enjoy the quiet, meditate, read or lie with your thoughts in bed. Switching off is so important and neccessary for mental health and a good nights sleep. The phone will still be there in the morning, put yourself first. You can even send a message to friends/family explaining your new routine so they understand too and won't distrub you during those hours.
Listen to music! Do some meditation or yoga before going to sleep? If I find myself addicted to a TV series, I always pause midway so that I don't end up in a cliffhanger at the end of the episode. Try to maintain a healthy schedule too by going to sleep routinely. Make a list of to-dos of what you wanna do the next day. Think about the things that make you excited about doing the next morning! It can be going to a walk with your dog or making a healthy breakfast. Using social media can be addictive. I suggest using an app to block your usage when you spent too much on it! I hope it helps!
Anonymous
April 23rd, 2020 9:52am
The main thing is willpower, but things that might help are:
- planning that your phone turns off at a specific hour (a lot the phones I had had this)
- or in alternative, putting a reminder
- find something else to do before sleeping, like reading
- don't charge your phone close to the bed, so that in the evening when the bttery is dying you can't just lay in bed and keep watching your phone
That's all I could think of, I hope you find these ideas helpful. Keep in mind that a habit is developed over time, so it might take some weeks to get used to it. But if you really want to you're going to make it, good luck!
Anonymous
May 2nd, 2020 10:17pm
Ask yourself what are the benefits of not using your phone late at night, and then ask yourself what are the benefits of using your phone late at night. The answer to the second question determines why you are struggling with the motivation to put your phone down (e.g. you get to avoid the difficulty of falling sleep, you get to chat to people you can't chat with during the day, you enjoy Facebook etc), and the answer to the first question reveals whether or not you really value the idea of getting a good sleep. From there you can have a look at why you are struggling to change your behaviour- there are benefits to us even in the unwanted and undesirable things we do!
It takes up some courage to do so. I can understand it can be really hard, if you have the urge to stay on your phone before going to bed. A few tips that I may have, are the next. Maybe try loading your phone in another place, than your room. Maybe try to give it to someone, before you go sleeping. Try to put an alarm on your phone. On some phone you can set a limit time for a few apps, you can try that too! I really hope that you will be able to put your phone away to go sleep, because blue lights before sleeping do not help with falling asleep. Good luck!
One of my favorite strategies for reducing cell phone distraction at night is to charge it away from my bed and bedroom! I typically leave it to charge at my desk at night before heading to bed. This helps me restrict the amount of time I am on my phone in the evenings. Oftentimes, it is easy to get absorbed into the endless number of notifications, apps, and newsfeed that phones provide. But by restricting the physical distance from the device before going to bed, you can begin to separate your screen time from bed time. Try out this strategy and see if works for you!
Sometimes, we can get REALLY into what we're reading/playing on our phones. Everything is about technology these days - some people can't even make a living without it. The technological world is forever changing! However, having our phone on for a long time and it depriving us of sleep is not great. Our health needs to come first - occasionally, we need to just put our phones down. How? Perhaps by setting a time limit for having the phone on, or maybe leaving the phone downstairs overnight and perhaps doing homework or reading instead could work. It can be hard to put our phones down, though it is important to know our limits!
There are apps you can download with help keep your phone locked during the hours you want to sleep. Even setting a personal goal for a certain time you want to put it down for can be a great start! Usually an hour before the time you want to go to sleep is a good goal to set, this gives the body enough down time to calm itself ready to go to sleep. You can also try charging your phone on the other side of the room do you have to physically move the get the phone making it less appealing to grab it before getting to sleep. Hope this helps ☺ï¸
Anonymous
June 11th, 2020 10:18pm
Set alarm for putting down your phone. I've used this technique to remind me that it's time to sleep. And I play soft music as it helps to calm my nerves and thus I sleep . Don't think about something that bothers you much or creates anxiety before sleep. Try to stay as much calm as possible and be grateful. Also avoiding coffee before a few hours of sleep time helps in sleeping. Also stop using whatsapp or any other sites before going to sleep it decreases chance of falling asleep. As they say early to bed and early to rise makes a man healthy wealthy and wise.
Having your sleep time in mind is important. An hour before sleep leave your phone aside. Within the hour take the time to relax like making a to-do list for the next day. By doing this I find myself more organized and prepared for the next day. Another thing that helps me is having the television on. Although I am not watching the television, by listening to it I dose off. One more idea why putting your phone aside is it becomes less of a distraction. Being on your phone for a second can lead to hours which affects your sleep cycle. Hope this helps!
Anonymous
July 2nd, 2020 2:23pm
Putting your phone in the kitchen, bathroom heck, even basement to charge overnight will help discourage you from checking it during the night (especially if you're basement is particularly spooky). If you’re worried that you may miss a call in case of an emergency, set it so that it only rings when certain people are calling, but still place it out of bed and out of reach just in case you get tempted. Your mind can stay active and engaged long after you’ve scrolled through Instagram or responded to a few work emails. Going to bed and falling asleep should be a peaceful, happy and relaxing experience. Engaging with your phone too close to bedtime can negatively impact those feelings.
I know something that helps me put my phone down so that I can go to sleep is I usually put it across my room, the furthest I can away from my bed before going into my bed-because then it requires too much effort to get to it and in the morning it would force me to get out of bed to turn my alarm off (otherwise it would just keep ringing). Also if you can't sleep and using your phone is a way of winding down (because I relate) it can be helpful to have other activities near your bed that you can do until you fall asleep that does not involve your phone (ie reading, colouring, writing in a journal, making a to do list for tomorrow).
Anonymous
August 6th, 2020 12:41am
This is something I struggle with all the time. Everything on our phones, especially social media, is designed tone addicting and not allow you to let go. When it's time to sleep, this becomes especially difficult. One can set a screen time limit or turn on a blue light filter to prevent damage on your eyes and brain from the light. It can also help to set an alarm an hour before your desired bed time to remind yourself that it is time to wind down. setting your morning alarm and leaving your phone in another space until you wake up can also help many. I hope you find success in sleeping and putting away your phone. Good Luck!
A foolproof way is to lock up your phone somewhere else [Like another room and such] and just lay down to sleep in another room. This way, after you lay down comfortably to sleep, there won't be uncontrollable urges to use your phone. That said, it is great to get completely rid of the phone addiction and set away a small amount of time for phone leisure activities like social media/games/YouTube and such. Some much more productive leisure activities that are actually good for you are reading books, listening to good music, taking a walk, gazing at the stars and such.
well for one you phone will probably enjoy being charged so help you phone. Going to bed should be an enjoyable thing and habits you carry with you to the bed room should be fixed. Bed room is exactly as it says Bed and a bed should be to sleep. Associating bed with sleep is the first step. You have to look at the bed room as this is where i go to sleep, not to look up my phone and rspond or talk to people. This room is where you go to be quiet and get rest which is a necessity and to maintain your health
If like many people you rely on and use your phone as your alarm then I suggest putting it on charge overnight on the side of the room farthest from where you sleep, and to put it upside down and on do not disturb mode or mute. This way notifications aren’t tempting you and you can’t just reach out and grab it, but must get up out of your comfy warm blankets. Put it on charge at least 1/2 hour to an hour before you want to sleep; it usually takes 15 minutes for someone just laying there to fall asleep but I know it’s hard when you have stuff on your mind. To keep your mind off of your phone go over your day in detail or do what I do, make up a story. Concentrating on your breathing and meditating are other ways to help you fall asleep.
Anonymous
April 9th, 2021 6:59am
It often helps to turn your phone off completely. I find it helpful because it forces me to do nothing else but go to sleep. Depending on the phone, there are apps and system preferences that help limit phone usage. The iphone, for example, has bed time and screen limit options you can chose. One other (more extreme) way of putting the phone down is to delete apps you find distracting. Of course, necessary apps should not be deleted, but I found that it helps after I deleted social media apps. I have tried all of these methods and I think it works!
To help put your phone down and get a healthy amount of sleep you can put a screen time limit on your phone. Or if your not comfortable with that you could leave your phone on your kitchen counter or table an hour before you go to bed. This way you have an our before you go to bed, to shower get ready for bed and settle down to go to bed. I know that an hour might seem long but trust me it isn't. It has been proven that if you don't have your phone with you or it is on do not disturb while you sleep you are going to get the proper amount of sleep you need.
Fall asleep to a podcast, movie or youtube video. It's addictive to look on your phone at night. Mindlessly scrolling through social media in order to fall asleep or to avoid your thoughts about the day. But to detox off your phone, have your phone by your side but listen to something rather than watch something. If you like Netflix or Amazon, play a rerun of a favorite show. You already know what's going to happen, so it's a comfort. The law of attraction on Netflix always makes me fall asleep and have good dreams. You can also put a timer on your phone. Will look at my phone for 20 minutes and then go to sleep
Well I personally believe that the best way to put my phone down and go to sleep is to play some soothing music or podcast to help me sleep or I use a internet blocker to restrict my use of screen time on my phone and go to sleep. Another solution is to leave my phone in another room when I'm about to go to sleep. This way I could prevent myself from my desire of using my phone when I'm supposed to be sleeping. The last suggestion that I can think of is using an auditing app on my phone. "Moment" is an app that allows you to limit your screen time for iPhones.
Set an alarm. An annoying one. I'm talking the one you can't ignore even if you hear it from downstairs. When it rings, turn off the phone, get up and put it somewhere out of reach from the bed. Make it more convenient to sleep than to stay on the phone. Then do something to tell your brain it's bedtime. Journal, meditate, change into pajamas, wash your face, brush your teeth, etc. All in soft lighting if possible. This will help your brain produce melatonin, the sleep chemical, and also teach your brain which actions mean sleep time. Good night and peaceful dreams!
Anonymous
August 18th, 2021 12:38am
Hard shut your phone and lock it away in a drawer or cupboard of some sort. If you’re not tired, try reading or walking around your room, sometimes your brain will refuse to sleep as it is not tired so brain stimulating activities such as walking, reading really does help. then get into bed and try sleeping. To help you could try counting upwards or focusing on your breathing or try meditation. Remember if this doesn’t immediately work it isn’t your fault, sleep takes times and no matter how long it takes you will get there, believe in it.
For me, it helps me not to bring it to the bed. If I want to stay on the phone late, fine, I can do it as long as I'm not on the bed. In my case, it means I have to sit on a chair at my desk, which is not nearly as comfortable.
When I finally decide to go to sleep, I leave it on a place I can't reach from the bed, which serves a two-fold purpose:
a) I don't have the temptation to pick it up again if I'm having trouble sleeping;
b) I really have to get up from bed when the alarm rings in the morning.
Hope this helps!
You can set a reminder for your phone to remind you that it's time to sleep. Or get someone close to you to check up on you and make sure you turn off your phone before bed time!
I have similar experience in this, and my mom was really concerned about my sleep quality so she took my phone away at an agreed upon hour. After a few weeks the compulsion to keep using my phone stopped. I'm really grateful that she was so actively involved.
The best thing to do is also set up a routine before sleeping, so your brain and body also prepare themselves for rest.
Anonymous
September 17th, 2021 9:18pm
Our phones can be some of the best tools out there, but only if we keep them solidly in that “tools†category of our lives and not make them an obsession.
Many people have trouble putting down their phones when it's time to sleep and need to set a path toward better sleep. Set a screen timer, for example, set up a timer for 11 pm- can't use your phone after 11 pm till morning. You can also put your phone on airplane mode or in another room before heading to bed. I'm willing to bet 99% of the time, most people don’t get a call in the middle of the night that they needed to deal with urgently. We don’t need to sleep with our phones. Keep your phone out of reach, it may help in keeping the desire to check/use your phone past the screen time in control.
Putting down your phone and going to sleep can be hard at times. The best way to go about this is just to set it out of sight, out of mind. I will admit I tend to stay on my phone too much through the night, but creating a night routine helps. Create a routine where you are not on your phone for at least thirty minutes before you go to sleep so it's not on your mind. I would also turn off your notifications, it can wait until tomorrow. Your sleep is more important than scrolling through social media.
Anonymous
April 22nd, 2022 9:24am
I can understand how this must be a concern. I can relate to some extent, but mine is not out of compulsion or addiction. I have trouble sleeping on my own unless I'm extremely tired. So I have to put on Netflix, or TedTalks to focus my mind and prevent it from going into a train of thoughts which then does not allow me to go to sleep. So practically I do put my phone down, I plug in the earphones and rely on the audio mostly because usually I keep playing the same TV shows again and again so the audio does the job on it's own.
However, if you concern is social media, then I would say delete the damn app. It's not worth, TBH. I deleted my social media, and it had a short term affect, but it had helped me from unnecessary anxiety. So focus on what's really benefitting you.
I'd begin by stating to yourself what will be the last thing you will do on your phone. That can include watching one last tiktok, reading one last post on social media platforms, or concluding a texting conversation that you're having with a friend/loved one. From there, do your best to hold yourself to the agreement you've made with yourself. This can not only help you move into the process of going to sleep, but also works as a way to build trust within yourself. For me, the last thing I do on my phone/computer/ipad is press play on my sleeping sounds playlist which signifies to myself that it is time to fall asleep. Prior to this though, I usually watch Netflix, but once the episode that I am watching concludes, I won't continue into another episode.
A good way is to disable notifications entirely and setup a sleep mode so that each night it automatically goes silent at exact same time until morning when notifications will automatically turn on again. This way you will not have to set it each day. I have also setup automatic night display mode in which after 9pm the display brightness is lower and the white is more yellow to calm my eyes. If you want to use your phone before going to bed, do it outside your bedroom and after you go to bed leave it away. This way you are separating sleep and relaxation from other activities.
Using a phone can be extremely addicting especially at night. It is a vicious cycle where the phone causes you to have insomnia and makes it very hard to sleep afterwards. For me, I try to at least close my eyes by listening to stuff on my phone rather than watching stuff. It makes it much easier to realize when I should go to sleep from there where I can feel myself drifting away from whatever is playing on my phone. Another way to help cure your "phonecausesyounottosleep" problem is by simply setting a hard deadline for yourself to put the phone down (this wont work for me but maybe it could for you haha). you could enforce this by putting the phone out of reach at a certain time.
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