I can't get angry at the people I care about, is there something wrong with me?
226 Answers
Last Updated: 05/01/2022 at 3:17pm
Moderated by
Joe Nelson, Licensed Clinical Social Worker Doctor of Social Work
Clinical Social Work/Therapist
Compassionate, solution-focused therapy for those battling depression and anxiety. I strive to empower clients to find their voice and reclaim joy, offering a nonjudgmental, s
Top Rated Answers
Not at all. You really love, care and most importantly, respect those people. You sound like a very empathic person who's so nice, you just can't get angry at others. Nothing is wrong with you. :)
Not at all, I feel like everyone goes through that, where something bad has happened from someone you care about but you can't get mad because you care too much! this all just means you're a great and loving person.
No, there is not. It's just that you love them too much you easily fogive and forget their mistakes. As long as you're not taken for granted, continue understanding them.
No , it shows you're kind hearted and care for the people you love the most but there is a thin line and reminder even if you love them endlessly you mustn't give them the power to walk over you because at the end of the day you'll lose pieces of yourself
The first step to fixing a problem you feel you may have is admitting it! However the second step is to never use the phrase, 'something wrong with me'. Everyone has flaws, thats what makes us human, you feeling like you can't get angry at people may come from feelings of guilt, or a fear of confrontation rather than physically not being able to. Next time you feel like someone has hurt you, think to yourself how you would react if there could be no consequences, then work from there.
I don't think there's anything wrong with you at all. You don't need to be angry or upset in order to share your emotions with other people. It may just be the type of person you are. Everyone expresses themselves in different ways, and for you, it could just be more honest and heartfelt. I've often found that getting angry can lead to worse situations than if we all calmed down, took a few breaths, and talked it out. Sure, you can't always be happy with someone 24/7. There's going to be conflict, but that conflict may not result in the feeling of anger. It could be more saddening, imply guilt, or even just be the act of separating yourself from said person for a while. There's definitely nothing wrong with you though. c: We're all unique in our own ways, and that makes us beautiful.
Either you are not in touch with your feelings or you're so above the fray that you simply feel compassion for them rather than allowing yourself to imagine that whatever they did to you is about you. You recognize that people usually do what they do because of them - not because of you. You have a high degree of understanding.
Anonymous
June 2nd, 2018 7:30pm
It’s not uncommon to be reluctant to get angry with people that you care about. Many of us want to please those we care about and keep the peace. Just be mindful of your boundaries and feelings, so you don’t feel like your own needs go unmet. You and your needs matter just as much as those people who you care about.
I think not being angry is a virtue in itself, but please take care of yourself and don't let others walk all over you. Besides that, I think not geeting angry at people you love can be just natural.
There’s nothing wrong with not being angry at people you care about. We tend to be more lenient with closed ones and sometimes may be afraid to display anger in fear of becoming distant with them. But is important to communicate our feelings in a healthy way.
It's not about having something wrong with you. At some point, we care and love people lots that we can't be mad or be able to hurt them by any means. It feels like we are attached to them and can't stay that long away from them, or to even stop taking to them for a while. Sometimes we are also afraid or scared that we could hurt their feelings by something we say or do. So we try not to be angry at them and find reasons to why they did that thing, and make up excuses for them rather than being mad or angry at them.
Anonymous
August 16th, 2020 8:37am
No, there is nothing wrong about you if you don't get angry at people you care about. Instead this makes you a much more kin and compassionate person, who cares and loves for people around them. Although,one should always be careful to treat themselves right too, being angry at someone is only an impression as to how much someone's actions and words affect you or hurt you if they feelings and actions aren't reciprocated and there is nothing wrong with that as well, we are allowed to show people that we care for that we need them or maybe tell them if they do something wrong.
Anger is an expression of thoughts & it's completely upon us how/when/whom do we express it. It's a personal choice of yours that you dont want to get angry on certain people there is nothing wrong in it. However, there is another thing I want to mention here is, do we make a choice or it's a external trigger to express yourself. For example someone is shouting at you & if you don't react to it this will make the situation null for you & for them as well. So it's completely your choice to react or respond. I hope I am able to answer, it might be confusing as there are two topics in the explanation.
Absolutely not. This it might be difficult because of the ties you may hold but if you genuinely can’t get angry against a close friend or family member it is 100% A-ok!
This question made me think!! I also wonder about this in my personal experience. It is difficult for me to be angry even at people I do not care for! I wonder if its because I grew up with a kind and patient mother, who was taken for granted many times by my siblings and I. I wonder if not being capable of anger is because we are honest with our feelings: Anger arises from hurt, so I maybe we remain in the hurt feelings without wandering into any other emotion..
Not being capable of anger could arise from many factors. Whatever the reason, I hope you find people who will not take that for granted and will love your sincere emotions.
Anonymous
June 24th, 2018 10:10am
Nah, you're just too attached to them and your feeling for them clouding your judgement. Just make some space between you and them. Having too much care can hurt you so much.
It sounds like you care so much about the person that you try to block off feelings of anger. There's nothing wrong with you, but try to allow yourself to feel and experience emotions as they arise. Remember, anger isn't always a bad thing. How you deal with your anger matters, but the emotion itself isn't bad nor good. Feelings just ARE, and we can't change them.
Anger can be a difficult emotion to perceive because it is often entangled in other underlying conflicting emotions. The best thing to do is to write down how you feel about these people and exploring other words besides anger and then talk about those feelings with someone who can listen and empathize with you
Anonymous
June 28th, 2018 7:49pm
No, there is absolutly nothing wrong with that! It is very normal to have an instinct in which not to hurt people you love, or at least care for.
Anonymous
June 30th, 2018 1:13am
You are very understanding and you know people make mistakes so as long as you know how to fix it ,.
Of course there isn't, It's actually a natural feeling for alot of people! Nobody likes to hurt the people they love because when you hurt them it hurts you!
There is absolutely nothing wrong with you. Your inability to get angry at the people who you care about simply shows how deeply you love them and wish for their wellbeing. Often people close to us are the ones who hurt us the most and several people would get angry at them. Your ability to tolerate them is a strength a lot of people lack, which in turn makes their situations worse. I know what it feels like when you can't seem to get annoyed with your loved ones even when they hurt you. It can be frustrating, yet it demonstrates a uniqueness which they would soon realise and cherish you for
Usually if you care about someone you want to be there for them. You have this irrational fear of hurting them. Since you care about, and for, them you don’t want to hurt them, (make them upset) As a caring person you care about how they feel.
Their is nothing wrong with you. It’s totally normal when you feel upset or angry with your family it’s by something that happened and eventually that will go away.
I can assure there there nothing wrong with not getting angry or upset at the people we care for, that is your ability to be compassionate, we are all human and we all feel it. It’s a great characteristic to have! But know that it is also okay for us to feel angry at times and even feel anger and frustration towards the people that we love and care for. It doesn’t make you a bad person at all, it’s a normal human emotion to feel and it gets to the best of people. I hope that this helps!
We are all human and have emotions. Anger happens to be one of them. You will normally feel better, and relieved even. Don't be ashamed of expressing a feeling that comes to all humans naturally. We have all buttons, and levels where we can become mad. it is not a given, to be happy all the time. It's even unrealistic to think you will not get mad at people you care about. I n my opinion, the people we care about know how to make us angry the most. They know you so well, so they know your buttons, and levels.
There is absolutely nothing wrong with you. You see, you should be blessed to have that quality within you. People around the world struggle to have something like that. Whenever some people get angry, they blow up instantly to whoever's close and in this case, it would most likely be family or friends. A few hours later, all that remains is regret. But emotional pain can't be washed away with simple 'sorry' or an apology. So, no, there's absolutely nothing wrong with you. Getting angry at the ones you care about will only result in resentment and regret for yourself.
It is not imperative that you are able to be angry with people that you care about. However, it is important that you can maintain healthy boundaries with people in your life. When you are able to maintain healthy boundaries with people in your life, it can help minimize the situations in which you would want to be angry with someone.
Avoiding the cause for anger in the first place can be far more satisfying and rewarding than developing an ability to be angry. If you are successful, you can model this behavior for others and help bring down anger and anxiety for you and your loved ones.
Anonymous
October 4th, 2018 10:10am
When people have problems getting mad at the people they care about there can be many reasons for this. One reason can be that they are afraid to start conflict between them and that person. They might be afraid with how that other person might take the anger. Another reason people might avoid getting mad at people they care about is that it might cause a bigger conflict than they wanted. In that case avoiding a conflict might seem like the better route because they want to remain civil with the person rather tell them how they feel.
I think everyone gets angry at the people they care about, partially BECAUSE they care about them so much. When we are emotionally invested in someone, it can bring up lots of intense emotions. I find that a lot of the time, anger is actually rooted in another feeling. A classic example is that when a little kid wanders into the street. The parent yells at them and is angry, but they are angry because they were scared. Another would be how people sometimes get angry when someone dies, but it's also tied up with sadness. When feeling angry at someone you care about, it can be helpful to try to identify if there is another emotion causing it. At the end of the day: no, there is nothing wrong with you. Anger is a completely natural (and sometimes very productive) emotion. What matters most is what you do with that anger, and learning how to not act on it, without trying to suppress it or pretend it's not there.
Talk to an expert therapist
Life can be challenging at times and reaching out for help can be difficult. It...
Talk to Brooke NowRelated Questions: I can't get angry at the people I care about, is there something wrong with me?
I have very rapid mood swings, what's the best way to manage them so no one gets hurt?I find myself thinking of people as useless and tedious. What's wrong with me?Why do I feel worse after crying?Are psychopaths necessarily bad people? What's the point of happiness if I don't want it?Am I depressed or just sensitive? How do you know if you're truly happy?I can't stop crying for days on end. What do I do?Why do I compare everyone to my bad relationship?How do I prevent negative thinking?