Perfect therapy for people who need help. I would like to say, I never can imagine it could be possible to heal people like that
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Jill Kapil, PsyD
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I have over 9 years of clinical experience, specialize in anxiety, and am passionate about my work. My approach is collaborative, empathic, supportive, and goal-oriented.
Top Rated Answers
Anonymous
July 8th, 2020 1:26am
I wake up thinking about my ex because he never treated me as well as he treats his current girlfriend. I wonder if I wasn't good enough to be treated right. I also wake up and think about if he ever thinks about me. I think about this because it makes me feel bad when I see him on social media with his new girlfriend. I fear that I was not good enough for him and that is why we broke up. I have unresolved feelings about why we broke up and this is why I will oftentimes wake up in the morning thinking about him.
Leaving a relationship is tough. There are days that I wake up thinking about my ex. If you can, I would try reaching out to someone, a friend, loved one, or someone on 7 Cups. If you don't feel like talking to someone, something I always found helpful was to think positively by listing what I learned from the relationship. For example, what things about my ex and relationship were healthy vs unhealthy and use it as a guide to better understand myself. I usually journal to help these thoughts flow freely and to allow me to look back at these thoughts when I need to. (Tip: Journaling has proven helpful during therapy sessions for me, it might help you, too.)
Anonymous
July 12th, 2020 8:04pm
Maybe because u still have feelings or u feel connected and it’s totally okay because in our life we meet a lot of people but only few become special and it’s okay if we think about them sometimes every relationship is not meant to last forever but u creates memories in those relationships which is a good part and carrying it with u for the rest of ur life is completely fine but just don’t let it overcome ur present happiness try to move on with new and existing people in ur life and gradually u ll get through it.
You wake up thinking about your ex because you mind is habitual to go think about that one person from a long time. It has done that from a long time. Ans it needs time to get over your ex. In order to break this cycle of your mind you must put your mind into distractions. These distractions must be positive tasks and activities which helps your mind to concentrate on better, interesting and productive goals. It's not a one day job. You will get successful if you keep working the same way, for about 21 days. And ones you cross that period you would get over your ex completely. You might even start forgetting details about your relationship.
Anonymous
July 23rd, 2020 6:43pm
When it comes to breakups and similarly difficult transitions in life, it takes time to process your emotions and get over someone who's been in your life for a while. So don't be too hard on yourself if you occasionally get reminded of your ex, it's a natural process of grieving and getting over someone. And on the days you feel down, remember to enjoy your time being single to reflect and focus on self-improvement. And when the time comes, I'm sure you'll find another wonderful relationship that was even better than before. Best of wishes to you. Stay healthy and happy!
It is hard to get over a breakup. I think that you still need time to heal. What has gotten me through break ups is taking care of myself and my body. Especially when you're going through a break up, it's important to focus on yourself and your mental health. Independence is imporant too. What I do is exercise, eat healthy, do hobbies (mine are drawing and painting), do some journalling (free style or question style), spending time with friends and family, etc. I hope you can find some of these things helpful and you can always do your own things that make you feel happy too. I recommend making a routine as well. I wish you all the best :)
Anonymous
August 13th, 2020 11:17am
this is how our memory works, its bring back the movies from the beginning, then from the middle, then from the end, then just flashes, then like reading abook, then nothingness, then you either regret it or like to remember it everyday!this is how our memory works, its bring back the movies from the beginning, then from the middle, then from the end, then just flashes, then like reading abook, then nothingness, then you either regret it or like to remember it everyday!this is how our memory works, its bring back the movies from the beginning, then from the middle, then from the end, then just flashes, then like reading abook, then nothingness, then you either regret it or like to remember it everyday!
Hi, I understand you are going through a breakup and still think of your ex. This is natural. Could you please try understanding how you feel just before you think and after you think about your ex? If you feel any particular emotion(s), then it could help if you process the same. Sometimes unprocessed emotions make us go over the past in a loop. In my experience, I did not get closure and there was no chance to get one. So I started identifying the underlying emotions and started working on them. I had a lot of anger at the unfair treatment. I verbalized my anger and practiced forgiveness. Forgiving doesn't mean one should be OK with what happened, it just gives closure to move on. I hope this helps you...
Anonymous
September 26th, 2020 5:54am
Sometimes our brains can feel like they're on autopilot. There's this particular network in the brain called the Default Mode Network that is active when we are thinking about the past or the future. Sometimes this area being overly active can create a lot of extra "chatter
in our minds.
Breakups are hard because we get so accustomed to having a certain level of contact with a person, and then it's gone all of a sudden. We can wake up in the morning, anticipating a text, just to feel sad when we remember that person isn't in our lives the way they used to be.
I've found that, as crazy as it sounds, activities like mindfulness meditation seem to help us either deactivate or slow down this network in our brain.
Anonymous
October 9th, 2020 3:41am
Thinking about an ex is normal, lingering insecurities or comparisons they're making — even subconsciously. This is often true when your Ex has moved on before you have. You Wake up thinking about your ex due to you Did not have closer, you still haven't properly grieved the end of your relationship and forgiven her/him. If you haven't made peace with the past then do it, Let go of the fantasy. Many people don't realize that a large majority of the pain they experience during a break-up has nothing to do with the relationship they really had. If you still love him/her then Know That It's Ok To Love Someone And Not Be With Them, accept The Past, and most important be nice to yourself.
You might wake up thinking about your ex because you miss them, or you might still have a longing for them. In this case, try to focus on other things, like hobbies and activities, to get them off your mind. If you continue to wake up while thinking about your ex, it might be better to confront those thoughts rather than run from them. Talk to a trusted friend, your therapist, or a listener on 7cups; we are all here to help. Breakups can be hard, and you don't have to cope with it alone. Best of luck, my friend :)
You wake up thinking about your ex because you must renew your mind. First, I want to talk about renewing your mind, put your focus on something else that will serve you purpose, and give you hope. It is a constant thought that we must think to defeat our normal thought patterns those things that do not serve us purpose or bring us joy. However, I want to bring to attention the items that your ex may have brought you; clothes, shoes, jewelry, etc. get rid of all those things. You might not know it but those items will keep us in remembrance of our past.
Anonymous
November 20th, 2020 4:47pm
this person obviously had a big impact on your life and effected it in many ways. me not knowing what he or she did. even what he or she did was good or bad this person still was a big part of your life. it is normal to have thoughts or think about someone who was once in your life. if they caused you pain or happiness it is normal to think about them sometimes. it is human nature and apart of the human mind. people who impacted are lives have a big roll especially in our minds usually.
Anonymous
November 29th, 2020 10:10pm
Your ex is a person you were once in a relationship with and had a close bond with. The feelings you had for each other and the memories you shared together will not just disappear the moment you break up. Those emotions will take a while to forget, but the only thing that can heal is time. Once some time passes and you are done healing and are completely over your ex, you will be able to move on. As hard as it is, focusing on your life and your passions and interests will allow you to be more excited about living your life and spend less time thinking about your ex.
Anonymous
December 23rd, 2020 4:57am
This could just be a phase of rebounding. Everyone's probably gone through this. You are not alone, and it's okay. Don't panic or get stressed out. If you are overly stressed out, I would take deep breaths to try to calm down. We have therapists on our website that could consult with you. Over all, you probably just miss them like most normal people. If you try to do things that you enjoy doing, it could help keep you focused on others rather than your ex. An ex is an ex for a reason, right? You will get past these feelings with time. Before you know it, you might meet someone new. Lastly, if you have any resentment towards your ex, try writing them a letter and then ripping it up and tossing it somewhere like the garbage. Since the relationship was garbaged and you will move on past it and be in an even better relationship, hopefully. As long as you are sweet and kind, you will be okay.
You may feel this way because you still have lingering feelings for them. You may wish they were still around or wonder what it was like to have the relationship continued. You may just remember them sometimes, because you feel you are lonely or without love. Sometimes, you could feel like you need that somebody to mend the hole that was created when they left. Having somebody that you loved and trusted leave, can be a very painful and heart-breaking experience. If you ever feel this way, do talk about it with me, others and all the kind people on this platform.
Only you can answer this question. There may be many reasons why this is the first thing you think when you wake up. Could you possible still have strong feelings for this person. Is there something there when you wake up that reminds you of them? Did the relationship end on good terms or bad? Was there something that you needed to say or do before the relationship ended. There are many possibilities why your ex is the first thing you think about when you wake up. These are all things that you can answer. There are different things that you can in order to change this but if your ex is stuck in your head then you need to identify what is the reason.
You probably miss what you used to have. I went through that too. It's totally normal. So don't worry. Try to move on even if it is hard. Try to talk to your friends about it because they will probably help you. I used to think about my ex because i missed what we had. Its like he was stuck in my head. Its ok to think about him because it is natural. The way he made you feel. If your single then you probably will think about him more often. He will probably be on your mind since you dated him.
The grass is always greener on the other side. While, you may have moved on and even possibly found a new romance, there is still that piece of you that believes if things were different, things would be better. The dissatisfaction and insatiable focus on what could have been, rots and eats away at our souls. I recommend allowing yourself to meditate and let the hunger for more and better pass through your mind and evaporate. You can imagine putting those desires on a cloud and watching the cloud slowly fly away. We should not be afraid of our subconscious as we are all human and we all have our own experience of life. Through the pain, the joy, and the mystery, acknowledging our own humanity and facing our own truth, we can live joyful and free lives!
We often replay relationships when there are unresolved issues. Reoccurring thoughts about past relationships may stem from these unresolved issues. There may be questions you have that are unanswered or feelings you wish to convey after the end of the relationship. It is okay to have these thoughts. Process them and take the time to heal.
If the relationship ended amicably, and you feel comfortable talking to your ex, open a dialogue and ask for some time to talk through your thoughts in an effort to seek a resolution. It may be easier to heal and move forward once you achieve closure.
Because of the habit. It took some times before you can start living with those memories. It varies from person to person. It's quiet hard at the beginning but one day you'll realize it is not bothering you anymore. For me first time it took me around 1 years but eventually I can stop thinking about her. Time heals everything. Just try to survive and keep hoping. Don't try to forget or forcefully erase those memories, it won't work trust me. try to live with those memories. Try to calm yourself and teach yourself that you don't care whatever happens to him or her.
Why do I wake up and think about breakfast ~ ? Why don't I wake up and think about my ex? I could think about my ex if I wanted. I'm thinking about her right now. And just like that, she is gone from my mind again. Every thought is a memory. We choose the things that we want to recall. What you're thinking about at the time, is precisely what you WANT to think about. When people miss their exes, thinking about and pining after their exes is a way of bringing them back. It's not real in any way, but it does make people feel comforted. What are your feelings towards your ex? Do you still love her? Do you have regrets about your separation? Do you feel angry, or lack some kind of closure? Resentment? Whatever your feelings, they will govern your thoughts, and your behaviour also. If you instead woke up each morning and thought about breakfast, you might find you will start thinking about your ex less. But if you wake up and think about your ex - it's precisely because some part of you WANTS to think about your ex.
When your ex didn't affect your life significantly, its easy to move on, its easy to go long periods of time without thinking of them unless they come up in a conversation or something.
However, if you loved someone. If this person affected the way you saw the world and yourself. Worse still if the situation did not end well, then you will have memories come up.
Its a way for your mind to resolve what happened or fill in the blanks.
This is perfectly normal especially if you are on the road of self discovery and healing.
There is the temptation to squash these memories because we think moving on means completely ignoring the past
Waking up thinking about your ex is confusing and sometimes frustrating, but it is your heart showing you how much you have grown since you and your ex parted ways. Your heart is telling you that you have the utmost strength to get through anything in life, even if something may have broken your heart. Waking up with this thought about your ex is not something you should get mad at yourself for doing. Do not think that this thought means you are weak or that you are not strong. Look at it as a reminder that you are growing and that you have gone through so much and strive to keep on going! I remember being in a similar situation myself about a month ago and once I started looking at these thoughts as progress in my own self, I truly started to believe that I could get through any situation by switching to a more positive viewpoint! I did it, and so can you! I believe in you!
Your brain may still be processing the break up, especially if its fairly new. Quite often it can take time for the brain to process that your ex may not be around in the same way he was before and your goals and hopes for the future may now be changing, your brain may just be processing that. Another reason could be that something unconsciously may have triggered a memory associated with him and bought him forward in your mind, for example perhaps you see a chair he often liked to sit in or a cup on your bedside table that he used to like and its reminded you of him without you realising the link, this is normal. If you are feeling unwanted emotions around it then it can always help to talk to someone whether it be a friend, family member or a listener on here :)
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