Perfect therapy for people who need help. I would like to say, I never can imagine it could be possible to heal people like that
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Top Rated Answers
Be honest with yourself about what you did, identify how you can learn from it, then move on. Honesty and owning up to what you did is key.
It is a process, sometimes in cases people never do. But for cheating you need to sort our the reason why and for lying you also need figure out what caused you to lie. Writing down your thoughts so you can understand better why.
Anonymous
June 16th, 2017 7:19pm
I think the most important this is coming to terms with what is at hand. Then you can progress from there and work on dealing with the emotions that come with it and over coming them
Anonymous
June 23rd, 2017 11:58pm
I forgive myself by realizing we all make mistakes in life. From what is going on personally and learn to forgive and realize we all are not perfect.
By making sure you own up to your mistakes and making sure you dont lie or cheat again. Also try and be honest about what happened and why you did it
Anonymous
July 13th, 2017 7:46am
Understand you are human. You make mistakes and that's okay. It's not normal to feel bad. Just don't make the same mistake twice, and learn from others mistakes.
You just have to know that it was in the past and you can't change what happened in the past. You have to forgive yourself.
Anonymous
July 21st, 2017 9:28am
As I personally always see it, I use it as a learning step. I never regret it, now you know cheating and lying are two bad traits, you should never regret it, always think of it as it teaching you what would actually happen if you were to do it again. It may hurt others and you, but now you know not to repeat the same situation, because you have learnt and hopefully taken responsibility for wrong-actions. :)
Anonymous
August 9th, 2017 5:41pm
As long as you accepted that you made a mistake and had apologized to the person you lied to/cheated on, then you can start to move on and try to learn from the mistake.
Everyone in the world makes mistakes, nobody is perfect but we learn a lesson from our mistakes. You forgive yourself by staying positive, self motivation and learning that you wouldn't make the same mistake twice.
Forgiving ourselves can often be harder than forgiving someone else. Please remember that I am not a licensed professional, so this is just my personal advice. I like to pretend that I am talking to a good friend. What would you tell a friend if he/she was in your position? You might tell this imaginary friend that people make mistakes, that nobody is perfect, and that while you can't go back and undo what you did, you can learn from it so that you don't repeat your mistake. Please don't beat yourself up. Everybody has things in their lives that they regret, but that doesn't mean that it always has to be a black mark on your past. Instead, learn from this experience and know that you aren't a bad person, you're just a human one. Best of luck!
The same way one forgives other people for it - realizing that they are not defined by a single mistake or even ten mistakes. You see that complexity in a person and you realize that, from your view, they aren't a selfish, greedy conman, and you forgive them because you see the better qualities in them.
Whatever mistake you made, it is over and done with. Maybe it was the best decision at the time, maybe it wasn't, but you can't be defined by your mistakes alone. Just like you see that quality in others, understand you share that same immense complexity.
I feel forgiveness is extremely important for our own well being. We need to learn to forgive ourselves first before we can forgive others. And to me, the key to forgiving ourselves is realising the fact that we absolutely cannot judge ourselves based on something we did in the past. Once the past is gone, we are not in a position to pass judgement anymore. We need to realise that whatever we did back then, we did it because it felt like the right thing to do at that time! If, looking back, we realise that it was not the right thing to do, then we can accept that and make sure we don't repeat it. Holding a grudge against ourselves can only hold us back and not liberate us.
Anonymous
September 27th, 2017 9:13am
When you forgive yourself for any awful things that you may have done, you are allowing yourself to heal the pain you may be experiencing while also giving ample space for you to grow in strength and wisdom. Growing and learning will take place from the moment you allow yourself to make those mistakes in the first place. How you respond to the mistake after, is the determining factor of your character. While accepting it is one step, forgiving yourself is the other. Everyone can give up on you but it's you who will always be there for yourself to tell yourself to get back up every time you fall.
Confront your feelings of guilt and admit your wrongdoings to someone or even to yourself. Allow yourself to fully grasp this and accept that you made a mistake. Recognize that mistakes are a part of human life. It is important that you recognize that your desire to improve and move on is good and positive. You do not have to let this mistake keep you from allowing yourself true inner peace.
Accept the fact that you can't change the past and undo what you said or do. Everyone makes mistakes and the best thing we can do to move forward in life is accept that we haven't done the right thing, make up for our wrong doing (e.g. apologising) and work towards how to improve in the future. I think the biggest thing is being able to accept that you didn't do the right thing, try to make amends and move on in a more positive direction.
@whoever that was the anonymous who told this guy they're a terrible person, that's a very rotten thing to say. This is supposed to be a site where people help each other and you are spreading nothing but negativity. Apologize.
Sometimes good people do bad things, and just because you werent the best person in the past doesn't mean you can't change and become someone better. I believe in you.
Through validation. Everyone is good at heart when born yet life experiences change us. Cheating and lying depending on the severity of the lie or cheat can change how hard it is in yourself to forgive. Validation in exploring why you did the act , the true purpose will help yourself forgive as you look deep within your mind to find the true reason
If you think it was justified, then remind yourself of that. But in the real world you can't forgive yourself for everything. Sometimes you have to take responsibility and realize that it wasn't the best choice and just move on from there. Learn from your mistakes.
Anonymous
November 12th, 2017 4:17am
Accept that you have learned from the consequences of your actions and that you have done something wrong. Once you acknowledge that what you did what wrong and you disagree with it, you can treat it as a mistake, and something that you will grow and learn from.
we accept our mistake and apologize for doing so. acknowledging the mistake takes courage. make a promise to yourself that you will never ever repeat the same mistake again.
Anonymous
November 16th, 2017 1:56pm
Don't try to replay the situation. Remind yourself that it is a one off thing that will probably never happen again (especially if you are feeling so guilty) and that you truly feel remorse for your actions.
Anonymous
November 17th, 2017 2:51pm
Try to understand why did you cheat and lie in the first place. Be aware that we all have a capacity to hurt someone else but also a power and responsibility to choose right behaviour.
If you are feeling guilty for cheating or lying, blaming yourself will not help you. You can forgive yourself by making a commitment not to do that again, and by acknowledging that no one is perfect and that we all make mistakes.
It takes alot of time. Maybe try considering therapy? Because talking to someone really does help, and they can give you different options, and help you overcome it.
Go through all the process of it and .. then - apologize to the person or whoever it is you did wrong too! or if the person is not available then try to move on and learn from the mistake of not doing it to others.
Firstly; you have to admit that you were wrong and apologize to the person you hurt.
Secondly; promise yourself not to do that again.
lastly; train yourself to be a better person and not to fall a victim easily for anything that you desire so much.
Accept the fact that you are human and have made a mistake. Work towards ensuring that you will never repeat the thing that has caused you so much guilt. Give yourself credit for recognizing your mistakes and for proactively working to make a change. I'm sure you have forgiven a friend or family member for messing up in the past, so treat yourself with the same forgiveness that you would give to others.
Personally, I struggle to forgive myself if and when I lie as I know that my actions have hurt someone else.
I usually let time heal in the short term then talk it through with the person afterwards.
However, in the first instance, I try to be as honest as possible... even if that truth may hurt.
I tend to have an issue with that too so I try to not lie or cheat for any reason in the first place. If I do though I try to think of the reasons why and what caused me to make a decision that is against what I think is right. Usually it's fear or anger and I feel very bad about it which in time gives me an incentive to forgive myself and recognise that I am human and I make mistakes and that;s okay as long as I learn from then and don't repeat what I did in the future.
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