Why are we fighting over small and stupid things?

People tend to feel the need to be right; it boosts our self-esteem. And sometimes, in order to be right, you feel the need to argue. It's human nature, and it's what happens when you don't have a handle on your ego and sense of self-worth. While being right does feel good, you don't always have to be. And that's what some people don't understand. Also, what seems small and stupid to you might just mean the world to someone else. Perspective is important in any situation, especially in arguments. Something could make or break someone's day, so they feel the need to be right and argue about it.

As per me, people create drama by fighting with others. Reason behind it to get attention and fill my with some excitement. Ultimately our every behaviour is to fulfill our human needs. We need to stay away from judging people for it. In stead, compassion and understanding can help in preventing small issue in big fight. I generally noted this in my behaviour lately and stopped creating drama for small things. This has ultimately helped me to have more mental peace and I saved lots of time. I am using saved time to work towards my business, spend time with my family and I am also learning new hobbies. Are you drama maker.? Let me know your thoughts.

I guess fighting over small and stupid things is more convenient than facing a big issue. Small and stupid things are easy to detect, thus easy to pay attention to. We might also feel that if we don't sort out the small things, it will snowball into something big. Before that happens, we want things to be back as they were before. Also, doesn't fighting about something means you care enough to sort it out and be happy rather than letting it be and being unhappy? I would say fighting over any issue is alright as long as it's discussed properly and a common ground can be found.

I think that it’s a concept .. the little Small and trivial things to us maybe huge to someone else so they get hurt over it and unleash anger bottled from previous insecurities that tends to turn into a fight . The lack of communication with a certain someone can let this behavior evolve , if we had more understanding we could overcome this . However, not everyone’s personality will allow a smooth conversation to happen without a fight arising in the midst of it. I think we all want different things , we just need to find a common ground and learn how to love each other.

That happens when both parties have some piled up emotions in them that come out bitterly here and there. And both parties get worked up over those small things because both parties haven’t fully communicated what is going on with themselves and what has been making them feel stressed on daily basis. It’s important to check in with yourself what’s wrong and be able to talk about it with the partner if it continues to be a bother. It could be stress from work, family, friends, or any outside source, and it can be talked out loud. Everyone needs to vent sometimes. Or if the stress is from the partner, it is important to plan out how to carefully voice the feelings that have been bothersome.

I guess because we think we don't have the strength to fight big and critical things. But we do. I spend a good amount of my life fighting myself, then once I discovered boxing, I fought shadows at first, I was fighting the other in front of me. Then, terrorist attacks, and I fought everyone over everything. I was exhausted, broken, but still willing to fight. I just didn't know what. My sister showed me. She had a lot of difficulties in her life. She struggled with school a lot. She has been treated of crazy by other kids at school. I was ashamed of her deep down, and I felt like shit just thinking about it. Then, I wasn't here anymore, she changed school and she got bullied. I could have gone there and beat the shit of the bullies, but I found excuses all the time, and my father always tried to stop me doing things. I think he was wrong in this case. I listened to him maybe a little too much in my life, I just realized that recently. And my sister, that everyone mocked, that even us at home most of the time didn't believe, because she is able to remember everything somehow, this girl became an incredible boxer. Without hate, she shows dedication, she never gives up. She proved me so much. She doesn't know how much she helped me. I wish I could express my emotions to people around me.

Because most of the time we are thinking from our ego rather than our heart or rationale. It’s easy to get caught up in feelings that revolve mostly around our lives rather than that of other which in consequence causes us to misunderstand : misinterpret what another may be trying to express. This is hard to overcome because like I say, our ego is so involved in our thought processes and it’s not easily quietened. If we could find it in our hearts to truly think deeply before approaching : breaching a subject with another. We would possibly find ourselves better understanding their position and overall become less confrontational over matters that simply do not matter.

Because most of the time, we interpret the actions of other persons. When someone keeps on forgetting meetings we wonder whether we are actually important to them. When someone in our house doesn't contribute to the chores as promised we feel like they don't respect us enough to do things that they don't like. And when we feel like that in general, small issues can strengthen those (mis)assumptions. Sometimes, it's also about yourself. When you've had a bad day at work with a lot of bad feedback or something alike you are more prone to fight over something small in order to feel like having control over at least some things in your life. The next time you are fighting over something "small and stupid", ask yourself how the other person made you feel with their actions and try to talk about the underlying issue. A person who understands your problem is more likely to be passionate instead of defensive- And that's a great base to hash things out.

Sometimes we sweat the small things because we have other issues that are more pressing but a little overwhelming. Putting one foot ahead of the other, at a slow and steady pace is a great start to moving forward with whatever may be in your way. It is very easy to see only the negative side to a troublesome situation so try and see if there are any positives. Perseverance is key and not giving up when things become too challenging or difficult. Try and move forward at your own pace and you will get to where you want to go.

I feel like sometimes when we fight over petty things, it has because emotions have been building in us for a while and it just gets let out. Much like a straw that broke the camels back sort of situation. From my own personal experience, I find myself snapping at people when I am emotionally exhausted or stressed. Things that used to somewhat annoy but that I would ultimately shrug off become The. Worst. Thing. Ever. I think sometimes we spend so much energy on keeping other parts of ourselves going, that we just don't have enough time and energy to reign in our tempers. This is almost never more evident when we are in pain, emotional or physical that we are unused to, or when we are hangry :)

From experience, couples fighting over very small and stupid things is normal. Couples fight all the time. However, if it becomes a very constant thing, then there is definitely something bigger going on that you and/or your partner haven't discussed. For relationships to really work, there needs to be 100% openness and honesty. As to the WHY aspect, it could be because you're suppressing more important feelings, the small things kind of push your feelings over the edge. One of the worst things to do in a relationship is not being honest with your partner about your end goals, or whatever it may be. I hope this helped clear things little bit. I'm here to listen if you need it! Good luck

Relationships are no walk in the park. But that’s what makes them exciting. It’s like taking a road trip, what makes the road trip fun is the adventure you experience. It would be so boring if it was just one long straight and narrow road. The road trip is more exciting when you go make different turns, go over those bumps or those hills that make your tummy turn. It’s the same with a relationship, it’s a roller coaster ride of different emotions and feelings. Often we take out our frustrations on the ones we love the most and in a relationship it happens to be your partner. Trying to identify what makes you fight over these small things could help your relationship grow and thrive for the better.

Fighting over every single thing and over the smallest and stupid thing is common and we almost see fights everyday. We always think about our desires. People are like this. Some people are greedy and and don't want others to be happy. They must understand others feelings. Sometime we will never understand others only if we were in their place and felt what they feel. People fight over everything, they have to be initiator and give what the other side wants. If we were all like this and think about others, the world will be the the best place and we will live peacefully.

Sometimes in our relationships, we find ourselves fighting over seemingly insignificant things. That behavior can be confusing for us, especially if we love the person a lot and don't know or understand the underlying cause of the arguments. Often in these situations, it could be that surface issue (the "small" thing being fought over) is a actually just a scapegoat, taking the blame for pre-existing frustration or conflict. If underlying "bigger issues" are unresolved in a relationship, it can leave resentment which can trigger arguments over smaller more frequent matters. Conversely, the reason for such conflicts over small issues could also simply be that emotional or physical needs are going unmet. It may be a good option, next time a conflict occurs, for both parties to take a personal inventory. "Am I hungry/cold/tired/etc.?", "What am I feeling right now?", "Am I sad/angry/frustrated about something else first?", "Is my response proportional to the issue at hand?" Such questions might be helpful in shedding light on the heart of the issue and the cause of the argument.

Sometimes fighting over silly things is derived by the emotions suppressed about more important issues. Maybe communicating and opening up can be a good first time in understanding a little bit more why we react that way for silly things. Maybe next time an argument pops up, ask each other/yourselves why do you feel like that and with each question it could help to dive deeper into the truth. Everyones feelings are valid and no one can tell you otherwise, just as you cannot do the same towards others. Listen and communicate so you can work through your relationship and understand each other and yourselves better.

That’s a great question. I’m not sure whether you mean personal matters or just the general world, but either way it’s probably noticeable in your life. There really isn’t an answer for that, the people fighting might think the things you view as small to be important and large issues at hand. Sometimes people simply want to propel themselves in the social aspect of society. It definitely depends on what issue you’re talking about, who’s speaking about the issue, and what is happening in the current world. I know this didn’t quite answer it but it’s the best I could explain.

Maybe there is a bigger problem underneath that needs to be addressed. Often times we suppress our emotions and then get agitated at small things. Although it might look like your partner is getting mad at you for a small thing, he/she might have a bigger problem with that needs to be addressed in order to put an end to these small fights. It could also be the reason that you are going through a different problem in life, which is affecting your overall mood causing these little fights. Your partner might also be going through the same thing.

The relationship may be toxic, and so fights often break out. He might blame you for everything or it's the other way. Either way, toxicity has a lot of fighting, but you don't want to leave cause you think you/re in love. But in all reality, you aren't, and I know that sucks but sometimes that's the truth. Give it time and maybe they'll change, but don't ever go back if they don't. Fighting a lot is caused also by insecurity about things and that can also be toxic. Find a way to trust each other, and make it known you do too.

Fighting over small or stupid things is a common issue nowadays. It is usually caused due to people's inabilities to get away with a problem in their life, creating feelings that are constantly making the person being annoyed or distracted by those little things. In some other cases maybe the person just feels that life is unfair...when everyone knows that life usually is not fair...and that person wants everything to be equal and in harmony. There are many reasons this issue happens and it is not only about health problems...it is maybe due to a person's character or way of living...

There's very likely something under the surface that you're both ignoring, and the bitterness and resentment from that issue is spilling into daily small and stupid things. Sit down and figure out what the root issue is. One wise professor once said "It's not about the bread". He then tells a story of how his wife would always get mad when he didn't close the bread bag. She would get so mad and he wouldn't understand, and lash out in return. Eventually they sat down and talked. Turned out it wasn't about the bread. It was.. I believe it was that she was upset he wasn't being attentive and thoughtful with what he did around the house. Point is: there's almost always an underlying issue. Figure out what it is.

Sometimes fights over insignificant matters can occur when there are other, underlying issues within an individual and the relationships they are a part of. How often do you socialize with people outside of your partner(s)? Do you participate in school, work, hobbies, community events, etc.? Consider how much time you spend with your partner. Consider how you have addressed these issues in the past and what the outcomes were like. It is common for people to disagree and question each other, and can be healthy. But if these disagreements are becoming heated arguments, it can feel frustrating, tiring, saddening, and more.

Thank you for reaching out! To answer your own question you may want to explore what you consider, categorize as smart and stupid things to argue over and why? Usually fights happen because the pair of you have a communication style which is too contrasting (e.g. too much bluntness or not being honest enough), therefore leading to you both not feeling heard. Small and stupid things feel like huge mountains you’re unable to overcome when the communication is lacking. Please do reflect on the times you have communicated well. What made the times you communicated well effective specifically? Contrast the times you communicated well against the times you did not. What was lacking when you both did not communicate well? Further questions you may want to ask yourself is how you feel sitting down and talking to each other about what offended/upset you ? The question is are you both assertive, diplomatic and compassionate when there are misunderstandings and disagreements? 500 small things will always feel larger and less likely to be resolved than 1 large problem. You both may have disagreements in thoughts and opinions and feel challenged or insecure when opposing opinions are shared. Ask yourself why? How has this comment or behavior of theirs triggered me? The small problems will become small again because you accept and understand that the other person has heard and understood you if communication is not judgemental. You are welcome to communicate with any listeners on our site to explore your thoughts and feelings in a safe 1-1 space. For specific support and the willingness to be in an environment with members that can relate to you, The Relationship support room is available every Thursday 24/7.

There's probably some underlying stressors or grief that someone is going thru. And it's not obvious. It's best to stay calm and maybe throw in a small non-offensive joke ....or just walk away from the situation and get fresh air. Go for a walk outside. or GET ACTIVE. Turn on a dance song and dance. Fighting will ruin the relationship sometimes and its better to try and discuss why they disagree rather than fighting with them instantly. Its funner that way too! Get to know each other and learn patience and tolerance for somebody who is not exactly like you!

I believe we fight over small and stupid things to shift the focus from bigger problems. It is easier to pick on smaller things than tackle the larger issues. Sometimes the bigger issues are scary and difficult to talk about. So it is easier to focus on minuscule things such as not doing the dishes or picking up the house rather than focusing on problems that can be life changing. At least this is from my personal experience. I know for sure that I have avoided looking at larger issues instead of looking at them head on. It is easier to avoid them.

There are many common triggers for anger, such as losing your patience, feeling as if your opinion or efforts aren't appreciated, and injustice. Other causes of anger include memories of traumatic or enraging events and worrying about personal problems. You also have unique anger triggers, based on what you were taught to expect from yourself, others, and the world around you. Your personal history feeds your reactions to anger, too. For example, if you weren't taught how to express anger appropriately, your frustrations might simmer and make you miserable, or build up until you explode in an angry outburst.

Although certain things may be "small" or "stupid" to one person, they may hold a lot of importance to the person voicing those concerns. It is also possible that we sometimes argue over what seems to be small matters because we are actually upset over another situation. Due to the unresolved feelings in one situation, the feelings carry over into other matters in our life. Thus, small inconveniences may trigger a person and evoke a strong emotion. A phrase that could capture this idea is "the straw that broke the camel's back." Our tolerance for inconveniences or disagreements lessens when we have unresolved conflicts.

When you get to this stage in a relationship, it might be time to ask yourself some serious questions about where you both are; are you with each other because you still love each other and external factors are putting pressure on you both or are you together because you've been together for ages and it's become something more of a habit than anything else. Can you sit down and sort out what's bugging you both? Is that even something you want to do? Because if the answer is yes, from both parties, that might be all you need to do. Explain how you feel, and try and get them to do the same. Maybe this is something you can work out. But relationships, even great ones sometimes run their course and it's hard but essential to confront this, specially if you both want to be happy in future.

Because maybe it has been so long since you are together, take a break, if it lasts even after a long break, it maybe means that you are not ok with each other. Try to talk about it too, it may help you get over your fights.

When I do this I try to calm myself I remember the nice things about this person I'm fighting with and talk to her/him when I'm more calm.

If two people start fighting for little things then it can be an indicator that both of them have stopped caring for each other and also does value the other person anymore. Two people who real love each other will overlook such trivial issues.