I'm dating someone who has been cheated on. What should I do?
305 Answers
Last Updated: 04/26/2022 at 3:52pm
Perfect therapy for people who need help. I would like to say, I never can imagine it could be possible to heal people like that
Ta
Tania
Moderated by
Amanda Wiginton, LMFT
Marriage & Family Therapist
Now is the time to make a change! Professional, empathic, and compassionate therapist waiting to help you make healthy life changes.
Top Rated Answers
The best thing you can do is acknowledge it, and try your best to make them feel valued and loved so they don't feel like it will happen again.
Be ready to deal with their insecurities and jealousy, Don’t brush off their questions, Make an effort to be as open as possible. Build trust.
Anonymous
November 12th, 2016 4:17am
Reassurance. Personally, i think it means alot, remind them constantly how much you love them and really mean it.
A person who has been through a heartbreak has been heart broken and doesn't trust easily, they won't want you to take thing too fast so don't rush things. But make them feel loved and show them how loyal you are.
In my experience, it is important to maintain a healthy awareness of your partner's needs while ensuring he or she does not attempt to project a former partner's behavior on you. Communication, being open, building trust is a part of any relationship. Acknowledging the pain from a past experience is also part of a caring response. Ensuring you maintain appropriate boundaries concerning their past will allow them to appreciate a new, supportive experience. It is important to lovingly point out the differences between your experience and the negative situation when appropriate. . Otherwise, it becomes impossible to build trust.
Just be honest and truthful with them. Being cheated on can make a person really paranoid and untrusting. It's not your fault, or theirs, its just what happens when your trust is broken like that. Doing your best to be trustworthy and open helps a lot.
You nees to earn their trust. Show them that you love them dearly and make sure that they feel loved.
Be gentle with hime and honest so he can trust you. It might take him a while to trust you but he will come around.
Ease yourself into the relationship. Rushing into things with someone who has been betrayed might frighten them. And don't take this the wrong way, but ensure you have their trust at all times. They once trusted someone wholeheartedly and it backfired evidently.
Anonymous
February 16th, 2017 11:17pm
Understand that at first it may be difficult for them to trust you. It may take time. Don't let it turn controlling in order to satisfy their doubts. Assure them you will not be unfaithful but you're gonna eventually need trust.
Reassure your partner that you care whenever they seem anxious about it. Tell them you love them and make sure they know you're genuine. Offer love and support to them whenever they need it most and remember to stay faithful.
If you're willing to continue with him, make sure that it would be a relationship without cheating and of course he kind of has trust issues due to his past experience so try your best to cope with it just to let him know that you're different than the previous one and don't cheat on him.
Express to that person your worry about treating this person right and showing the person that you care. Honesty is a very important factor in this situation.
Place yourself in their position, this person will probably have trust issues and the best you can do is prove you are trust worthy, and to gain their trust you might have to start by showing them you trust them, be completely transparent and make that person feel comfortable around you, make that person know you are truest there for them.
Anonymous
March 16th, 2017 2:38am
give them time. time is so important. they might not want to do a lot of things right away just because they have been hurt in such an awful way. they had someone who they trusted and had a lot of feelings for betray all of that. so patience is KEY!
You have to give them the most love and care as you can. Make them know that you really love him/her and that they can trust you to not cheat on them. After someone's been cheated on, they lose their self-esteem and confidence, so it would be great if you also tried to boost his/her self-esteem with compliments, encouraging comments etc
Make it clear to them that you will not cheat on them. If they're a little more nervous and sometimes think you're cheating, that's understandable, just reassure them. However, if they're completely irrational to the point that it makes you uncomfortable or all they talk about is their ex, maybe they need more healing time before they are ready to seriously date you
It is important for you to be understanding of this persons emotions. Try to be sympathetic about what they have expierenced and don't be afraid to ask them questions about how you can help support them and gain their trust
Anonymous
May 5th, 2017 4:33am
I have been cheated on and it really sucks, you have to prove that you aren't like their ex, be loyal and compassionate to them. They will probably be scared to love you so you have to show them that you won't hurt them
It's not your fault that someone in the past hurt this person. You could be careful about somethings that make them feel anxious and worried because they might have lost their trust in people. It's not your fault. But just be yourself, make sure that they know you won't cheat or disrespect them and also set some boundaries if you feel like they pressure you to much because of their worries. The key here is communication and compromise.
Anonymous
May 25th, 2017 7:02am
It can be hard dating someone who has experienced something as difficult as cheating. They may feel extra jealous at times, or as though you may pack up and leave for someone "better". If you haven't done so already talking to them and giving reassurance may be something to try. Asking them what they think can help the both of you is a good way to go as well. They may find it easier to talk about if you start the conversation first. Good luck. :)
Try to be sensitive to their experience and be a loyal and faithful person. Sometimes a person who's been cheated on may need a little extra love and care, If you are able to provide that for them you should.
Anonymous
June 14th, 2017 7:25pm
If you're dating someone who has been cheated on before you should make sure that this person can trust you. you need to protect them from getting scared or nervous that you might do the same. Be extra loving and careful with them... and don't cheat on them and avoid lying to them.
Dating someone who has been cheated on in the past may mean that they find it hard to trust. Take time giving that love and respect so they can open up and trust once more. Telling them once and a while how much you love them or how much they mean to you can be very reassuring.
You should continue this relationship grow slowly - you don't want to make this person hurt even more than he or she is right now.
Show them that you would never do that to them, that they're never going to have to go through that again and reminding them how much you love and care for them.
I got 2 words for you. Transparency and tolerance.
Sacrifice a bit of your privacy like by disclosing your phone password or being at ease of she/he is using your phone and by intentionally giving her an opportunity​ to check your phone. He or she will trust you more which is a good start.
Be prepared to be speculated and be okay with his or her questions.
Listen to how that experience affected them. Just listen. Then I try to assure them that I would never intentionally hurt someone else
Make them be sure that you are not like the people he/she has dated in the past, that you are kind and supportive and that you are very trustworthy. Make him/her feel special and loved.
Anonymous
July 8th, 2017 6:44pm
You should make sure he or she knows that you love him or her and that that person has nothing to worry about
Talk to an expert therapist
I have had my private practice for over 29 years in my office and for last 5...
Talk to Paola NowRelated Questions: I'm dating someone who has been cheated on. What should I do?
How to get over someone you have to see everyday?My long-term boyfriend told me that my mental health has affected him and he just wants to be friends as though nothing more ever happened. This really hurts me. What should I do?Can or should I ask my significant other to stop talking and to not associate with his ex? If so, how? How do I know if I'm in a toxic relationship?Why are we fighting over small and stupid things?What to do when you feel you are not good enough for someone?He said I was perfect for him, but he chose someone else?I regret breaking up with my ex. What should I do?How to get closure from my ex? I feel I need it.I love two different people. What should I do?