I'm dating someone who has been cheated on. What should I do?
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Last Updated: 04/26/2022 at 3:52pm
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Top Rated Answers
Anonymous
April 27th, 2018 7:56pm
You should talk to them, don’t hide anything from them as they might think that it might happen again
If you're dating someone who has been cheated on, give them reassurance. Let them know they are loved & that the past does not define the future. If the love is real they will feel that. But you need to show them love in the way they feel secure in your relationship.
Always let them know that they are the only one in your life and comfort them. It might sound silly, but it goes a long way.
Don’t cheat on them. Reassurance is key, show love with actions not words. If you don’t want to be with them, let them know straight out. Love and care for them, they can be sensitive, don’t do anything to break their trust.
Anonymous
May 23rd, 2018 12:39am
They’re probably going to be quite insecure and potentially paranoid. Be cautious of their feelings but don’t stop being yourself
Anonymous
May 23rd, 2018 9:09am
make sure they have your trust and that you have theres. that is the most important thing in a relationship.
You should be yourself and love that person the way you know best and treat that person the same way you would treat any other person that you have dated. For them to trust you and be completely open with you, you need to be yourself.
Building up steady trust is key. Since they have lost trust before, they will be on guard, even if it's to a different person like you. Confide things in them when they tell you things. Do favors for them and don't shower them with compliments but still occasionally compliment them. Showering makes you look suspicious, like you are trying to get something out of them.
Earn their trust gradually by reassuring them that you will remain loyal, but of course actions speak louder than words. Perhaps you can let them meet your friends and those who are close to you so that way they know who you hang out with when you're not hanging out with your partner.
Set time aside to spend time with her/him, let her/him know how much you love them and tell him/her that you wouldn't hurt them like that.
I've too been cheated on and the best thing you can do is let that person go because 9 times outta 10, the relationship was either draining or toxic due to arguments that mostly led up to the cheating and/or afterwards. Take time to gain the strength back with on you mentally and physically. Learn to love yourself over again and watch someone will come to love you better than the person who cheated on you
You should be patient and act carefully. Respect him/her because of a bad experience, not give reason to doubt your fairness.
Be kind to them. Best thing would be to not bring up the past in important conversations and be mindful of the things you say.
Anonymous
June 25th, 2020 11:59pm
In the beginning of my relationship my boyfriend had told me he had been cheated on before and so I reassured him that I wouldn’t cheat on him or hurt him like his ex did. Whenever he was worried or anxious about me cheating I would tell him that I cared about him and I reassured him that I lived him. He and I had long relationship that lasted about a year and a half we broke up because his family moved across the country and he had to go to. We did the long distance relationship for a couple months and he became really worried that I would cheat on him but I reassured him I wasn’t and I never would but it became really difficult for us and we fell out of love so we decided to end it.
Anonymous
April 2nd, 2020 2:57pm
Trust is a main issue we are talking in here, because when someone cheat on us we feel we can no longer trust ( at the least most of the time).... timing I believe is the best solution, however there are many different variables which can take place in this situation.... For example is that person already ok for a knew relationship ? is his past feeling are being passed to you ? Only you have the real answer, what are your real feelings for this person ? I believe be honest is the main point in this situation, this person was already hurt once, try to support ....
A person that has been cheated on may be jealous, more aggressive with smaller incidents that mean nothing to you and may still be suffering from getting cheated on. You will have a lot to deal with so be prepared for a lot of small yet extreme(in their eyes) disagreements. Be prepared to validate this person occasionally in the relationship( remember to To do this but don't do it so much if you won't be able to keep up with it because that will open another can of worms) . The two important things to remember though is to make sure you maintain respect for your relationship and don't cheat.
I think that you should really take a step back and think about whether if you want to continue this relationship anymore. No one understand what you feel or what you’re going through besides yourself. You know what is best for you and what you are supposed to do. If you’re unhappy with being with your current partner, then maybe it’s time for you to reevaluate your relationship and think whether if it is a healthy choice for you to stay or leave. But remember that you have to love and respect yourself before making any decisions. I hope you make the right choice.
Anonymous
April 16th, 2020 12:04pm
Hello! I completely understand where you are coming from as this may be extremely upsetting. Although I cannot offer you specific advice, I am confident that you are able to find a solution. If you take some time to truly figure out how important this is to you and what you are willing to endure, then I have confidence in your abilities to come to a solution. Everyone experiences hardships within their lives and they come in many different shapes and forms. Each experience is something that you are able to learn from and take away from, especially within relationships. I completely understand how you are feeling. I know you will find a solution and be able to learn from experiences like these.
Anonymous
April 19th, 2020 5:22am
Try to be understanding. I know it's hard to exactly know what to do in situations like this. But I'm sure you will do great in your new relationship. Being cheated on can come with trust issues. Show your partner that they can trust you. Try to have deep conversation to show them that they can open up to you. Show them that you are comfortable around them so they can be confortable you. It can sometimes be difficult to come into another relationship coming from a harmful one. Give them time and patience. And most of all... don't let them even think that there's a chance that you could be cheating on them. Spend as most time with them as you can.
Talk to them about. Confront the issue head-on. Acknowledge that it may take more time for them to trust you than they would have if they hadn't been through that experience. Trust is like a jar of marbles. It's made of a collection of acts that build up and become stronger. However, continue to establish and assert boundaries. When someone is cheated on, they may become suspicious and want to read your texts, snoop through your phone, know where you are every second of every day. Know that you still have the right to privacy, and their insecurity is not more important than that right.
Anonymous
April 26th, 2020 10:57pm
I think it is important to understand that your partner's past relationships will shape their perspective and outlook on your current relationship. Since your partner was cheated on, it may impact their view on trust. It is helpful to be accepting and listen to what they have to say. Your partner's trust had been broken at one point, so it may take them more time to gain trust with others. Be supportive, and be sure to prioritize communication between each other. Communication is a platform for building trust and honesty with others and with partners. Everyone is different, and everyone handles being cheated on differently, but having an open mind and validating their past feelings can be helpful.
learn how to have patience, I don't know if they have properly healed from that situation but learn to have patience with them. it's truly a horrible experience knowing someone you trusted to do something like that. From what I have experienced, give them lots of reassurance, look into the 7 types of love languages, and look into that and have consistent ones. also, unexpected reassurance is the best because they have their fears that they might be not good enough to be loved which is not the case. I hope everything goes well and wish you both the best. give it time and lots of patience and love
Anonymous
May 14th, 2020 6:59pm
Since he/she was cheated once they might be portrayed cynic but in fact they're much broken and emotionally unstable . At times they might sound really matured but don't get to that conclusion just in the beginning , because that maturity might just be a disturbance in their perspective and might not stay long which would disappoint you later. Well in the end it's like any other normal relationship, give time and take time don't be in a hurry. They might be too suspicious (mostly) but don't take them wrong just try to talk out things. Don't take decisions with assumptions nor allow him to do the same. Not every person who got cheated wouldn't end up suspicious , few might turn up really good ( if so try not to lose them)
Be you. Who you are, if you are not a fan of or condone cheating, will shine through and the person you are dating will see your true colours. It may take time for them to build up trust, but if you be who you are, they should gradually begin to trust you. They may also benefit from reassurance every now and again, however, it is important that this person can trust you as relationships are built on trust and can't function as well if trust is missing. It is not your responsibility about the person being cheated on. Just be you!
Just take the relationship slow, don't try and move any faster than they are comfortable with, validate their experience and show empathy. Just be supportive overall and always try to validate the way they feel. The best way to earn their trust is with trustworthy behavior over an extended period of time. Be patient and understanding. The more empathy and patience you show towards your partner, the better. Hopefully over an extended period of time, they will trust you more and more and they will open up to you more and more. I hope this helps. Good luck to you.
Anonymous
June 6th, 2020 8:08pm
Be patient with them. They may feel insecure or they may keep their guard up if they feel they get hurt like that again. Patience, understanding and building trust within the relationship, like any other, is valuable. Let them talk about something that they may be worried about and try to understand where they are coming from. Depending on the circumstances of how they found out they were cheated on? did the relationship end amicably or volatile? ect they may still need to heal and learn to trust someone in a relationship and to let go of the fear they may be carrying of it happening again
Anonymous
June 10th, 2020 9:27am
Ensure that the person you are dating with feels safe, comfortable and cared for. Give them reasons to trust you, but also make sure you are comfortable. relationships will only grow if there is a mutual trust, respect and understanding between partners. If you feel your partner is out of reach, talk to them and let them know you are there for them and that they can trust and rely on you. however, if you feel your partner is not putting in the same effort as you into the relationship, address these issues and find out why they may be reluctant. try to be patient and understand what your partner has been through.
Anonymous
June 10th, 2020 10:14pm
For people who have been cheated on trust is a big issue in relationships(for obvious reasons). Someone they trusted betrayed them and this hurts a lot. To try and help fix this issue I recommend being honest with them and trusting them, this will help them learn to trust you and be less concerned about you cheating on them. Sometimes they can act cautious this can get annoying or even make you uncomfortable, which is very understandable. Don't be afraid to bring up your agitation/issues with their cautiousness, as long as you don't treat them like a child there is a good chance they will make an effort to grow.
Anonymous
August 30th, 2020 7:53am
Talk to them and see what they want out of your relationship. You need to try and understand how they feel and try to have a transparent relationship. In a relationship, you need to be able to lean on the other person and be able to help your partner in any way that you can. One thing you need to do is see how they feel about talking through what it was like to be cheated on. Thye might be a little bit more controlling. If that happens you need to talk to them about how you are feeling about what they are doing.
Anonymous
September 2nd, 2020 8:48pm
People who have been cheated on tend to have low self-esteem or low self worth for a while. Has your partner moved on? Or was it not too long ago? If they are still trying to get over it, offer them your support and love. Ask them how you can be considerate of their feelings, if youre comfortable with that. Take in account their personality and form of loving as well. Show them your affection frequently, but dont overdo or drain yourself out. Just make sure you are always thinking of how they might feel. Best of luck!
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