I'm dating someone who has been cheated on. What should I do?
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Last Updated: 04/26/2022 at 3:52pm
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Top Rated Answers
Earn their trust gradually by reassuring them that you will remain loyal, but of course actions speak louder than words. Perhaps you can let them meet your friends and those who are close to you so that way they know who you hang out with when you're not hanging out with your partner.
Try to make the person feel more comfortable by reassuring them a lot about your relationship and feelings. Don't give up on them when they're giving you a tough time because they may have trust issues from previous experience. Have tons of patience and take things slowly for them. (:
Building up steady trust is key. Since they have lost trust before, they will be on guard, even if it's to a different person like you. Confide things in them when they tell you things. Do favors for them and don't shower them with compliments but still occasionally compliment them. Showering makes you look suspicious, like you are trying to get something out of them.
You should be yourself and love that person the way you know best and treat that person the same way you would treat any other person that you have dated. For them to trust you and be completely open with you, you need to be yourself.
The psychological trauma that a person endures after being cheated on is one of the most emotionally damaging things that a person can go through. Give them patience, give them reassurance. When they ask questions, it's not because they don't trust you, they've been hurt before and that these are the things they need to know in order to keep them from overthinking and reverting back into their depressive state. They probably are going to get jealous, have low self-esteem and are quite afraid. And again, this isn't an indication that they don't trust you, they just need your reassurance and patience.
Anonymous
May 23rd, 2018 9:09am
make sure they have your trust and that you have theres. that is the most important thing in a relationship.
Anonymous
May 23rd, 2018 12:39am
They’re probably going to be quite insecure and potentially paranoid. Be cautious of their feelings but don’t stop being yourself
The best thing you can do is to reassure them that you won't be like the last person. If they've been cheated on before then they're bound to have their doubts. Reassurance from you is one of the most important things they'll need in this relationship.
Anonymous
December 6th, 2017 2:32pm
You should make them feel like they can trust you. Without trust, that person might think you are going to cheat on them.
Be gentle and patient. As someone who has had trust issues, my girlfriend had to take about a month to break me out of my little wall of protection. But once she broke the wall, I'm so glad she did. It'll take time, but the payoff is worth it.
Anonymous
December 20th, 2017 4:31pm
Have an open approach, they will be pretty fragile when it comes to trust and getting close to someone personally. Allow time and don't push things. Respect their opinions and how they think especially if being cheated on had a large impact. Overall, have love and patience.
Do not rush your partner. Talk to each other, show that you care about your partner,show him/her that you are someone who can be trusted.
Be patient, and know that a lot of their insecurities can stem from somewhere outside your relationship. Stay faithful (of course) and be kind to them, but also remember that you cannot fix everything, much less the mistakes of someone else’s past.
Show them sympathy, listen to them and be supportive. They might be afraid you're going to cheat to, and show them you're not instead of saying you're not.
Anonymous
December 7th, 2017 9:32am
at times it will be difficult to talk the person as he will not be in the perfect mindset to talk. moreover the person might not trust you because of their past experience. just give that person some time and everything will be back to normal slowly
Make them feel safe. Prove to them that you're different by your actions.simply just be yourself. Loyal and trustworthy
Anonymous
January 28th, 2018 6:54pm
You have to be patient with your significant other. Their trust has been broken so they’re regaining it with you. It’s not your fault the things they’ve been through but it does take a toll on you as well. Just be kind and understanding.
be upfront, honest and considerate of this person's feelings and reservations. it is hard being cheated on and understanding that trust is so fragile and can be broken very easy will help you to keep the relationship healthy
In my opinion just make them feel loved and prove to them that you will not hurt them in that way. They are going to have trust issues and the fact that they are not going to fully trust you from the start will hurt you. You are just going to have to put the person first and show them you care in order to heal them.
Anonymous
February 15th, 2018 3:18pm
People who have been cheated on typically have a hard time trusting others, especially those in a newer relationship. Most of those people who have been cheated on need reassurance. I know it may get hard to do, but if you love them or really want it to work, it'll work out.
understand that naturally they're going to have trust issues and it's going to be harder for them to trust, try and sympathise and do everything you can to let them know that what you have is different and they won't have to go through it again.
No one can tell you what to do as far as your relationship, but there are many things YOU can do! You can review your relationship and decide if staying is best for you. Can you forgive them? Can you move forward? Can you trust them? Is this the first time? Etc. Write it down and imagine yourself giving this advice to a friend or child. What would you tell your sister/brother to do if they had the same relationship you did? Good luck and I hope you find peace not only in this situation but in all aspects of your life.
Anonymous
February 22nd, 2018 9:32am
You should treat them with respect and stay calm when they continuously check in to make sure that you still love them. They have been through a lot. Don’t stress if they get paranoid or anxious. Tell them that you love them and see how it goes.
There is nothing different with that person. You just have to be loyal and hopefully not cheat which you will have to do even if you are in relationship with a person who wasn't cheated before.
You could gently reassure them that you're not their ex and you are your own person. If they feel insecure when away from you, you could send little messages and things throughout the time you're apart to remind them that you're thinking about them! Little gestures can go a long way!
Broken hearts are the most difficult ones to handle. Make sure to empathize your partner and try your best to gain their trust. Their past experience might create issues in your relationship but in the end what matters is till what limits do you both stick together. I hope things go well. Good luck :)
Make them feel as though they are the only one in your world and that you will not repeat the same. You are different and should love them enough, giving them that peace of mind.
Anonymous
April 12th, 2018 7:32pm
Earn their trust and be honest with them. Let them know you are not their ex and you will not do the same things to them.
Probably just try to be honest and build a trust base. It's important to show them that you'd never do something like that.
Take things slow,build trust and heal with that person. Because they are emotional torn and support from you will build a trusting relationship between you two
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