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How to talk to your boyfriend about marriage?

175 Answers
Last Updated: 03/19/2022 at 2:27am
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Top Rated Answers
Anonymous
August 6th, 2017 7:24pm
Well depends on how long your relationship has been going and how old you guys are. If you guys are like under 20, then I'd suggest waiting. If you guys been in a relationship for a year or less, I'd say wait (unless you're like 60+.) I mean you can ask about how they feel about marriage, what kinda wedding they like etc... to see their perspective on marriage. Just don't push your boyfriend into a proposal, he'll do it if and when he feels ready...
Anonymous
August 6th, 2017 10:29pm
Bringing up the subject indirectly by talking about kids and commitment and how you would like to have him by your side for the rest of your life
RhoenH
August 10th, 2017 6:53pm
Be honest, and list your expectations, discuss it, you can even write down questions for a guided conversation.
MusicMajor
August 19th, 2017 1:13am
I think one of the best things is to just talk. Find a great time that makes sense when talking about family or something and ask opinions and talk honestly. Have a nice discussion and find out what you each are interested in and where you two are on the topic. Then, go from there.
Rak28
August 20th, 2017 1:41pm
The best way would be to just take your time and calm yourself, then find him and talk to him privately, tell him how you feel about him and how you have been looking forward to your future together and that now feel that you are ready for the next big step in your relationship with your partner
Vronica23
August 25th, 2017 6:13pm
I personally feel communication is the most important thing in a relationship. It's only natural that you want to know if you and your boyfriend are on the same page as far as where you see your relationship going. I think there's a way to talk about it without putting the pressure on. If it were me, I would start with something like "Do you see yourself in this relationship long term? Is marriage something you want in the future?" Reassure them that you're not trying to force things, and that you simply want to talk. Don't be defensive about it, and if you notice they are becoming defensive, be reassuring, and understanding. Marriage is a big step, and some people take that step quicker than others.
shiningOcean95
September 14th, 2017 3:44pm
If marriage is something you want to talk to your boyfriend about and he isn't bringing it up if you're a few preliminary questions you should ask yourself first: have you been dating long enough to warrant the marriage question? Talking about marriage in the first few weeks of dating may be premature. If you feel enough time has elapsed and you want to open the discussion start by feeling out his experience with marriage. Has he been married before? What does he think of the institution of marriage? What did he observe of marriage growing up? The answers to these questions will probably open up a discussion. If it doesn't he's probably not ready to talk about marriage.
RINM1230
November 8th, 2017 3:12am
Marriage is something that should be thought about quite seriously. Simply the best thing is to ask your boyfriend if he feels your relationship will ever advance into something more.
MissNatureNat
November 11th, 2017 9:46pm
Tell him how you feel about it. But think about how you would feel if you were in his situation. Consider that he may think that it may be a bit too hasty to think about marriage. Listen to his views and try to understand his point of view.
Anonymous
November 12th, 2017 4:23am
Let him know how you feel and don't force your opinions on him. Tell him that you want to hear his thoughts on the subject and that you want to come to a mutual agreement or "be on the same page" as a couple. Also tell him that marriage is important to you/not important to you, and be willing to hear his side of the story.
considerateVision16
November 15th, 2017 6:04pm
You can always just bring it up to him. However if that's not the route you're willing to take then you can always just drop hints here and there about it.
Anonymous
November 19th, 2017 8:23pm
Sit down and try not to beat around the bush because the more you wait the harder it'll be but don't just say "Hey I wanna get married."
Anonymous
November 24th, 2017 2:55am
Wait until he's ready. Ask him about the future.
Anonymous
December 6th, 2017 5:05pm
it depends on how long youve been and you gotta make sure that you wanna be with him forever.
Anonymous
December 9th, 2017 1:56pm
Marriage is a long term commitment and it's a serious topic to discuss. Before bringing the subject of marriage to the table, evaluate your current relationship first, where your priorities lie, what you both want out of the relationship, how committed you've been to each other and times you went through together. Make sure you are both on the same page when you decide to talk about marriage. Also have a look at the base of your relationship - how strong your friendship has been. All that needs be into account prior to commitment to marriage. If you work that out and figure where you are both standing, then the success of your marriage lasting will increase.
Anonymous
December 20th, 2017 3:16pm
This is a big, big step in your relationship. If you are going to bring it up, it needs to be the right time, and make sure you are both ready, and in an appropriate time and place to discuss this. Depending on what you want to discuss about this subject will change how you first bring it up. But I would get right to the point. Good luck :)
Anonymous
January 6th, 2018 1:38pm
Make him his favourite food and make sure he is in a good mood. Then have a serious talk about it and be shy
1KatieKatieKatie1
January 10th, 2018 6:06pm
It all depends on your age, the legal age for marriage is sixteen. If you are unsure of your partners views, then maybe speak of it lightly like in questions. For example "do you ever what to get married?" Or "whats your view on marriage?" This way you're lightly bringing it up and it won't seem too forward if your other half isn't into the idea.
ThaMegsta
January 26th, 2018 5:46am
I think you should tell him how you feel. Talk it over with each other and if that's not what he wants just give him more time
Anonymous
February 1st, 2018 4:36am
Casually. Just calmly ask his thoughts on getting married, how soon he would marry, etc. You don't have to sit him down or make a deal over it, it's just a simple talk. And chances are, he wants to know how to talk about that same topic.
MindfulJ
February 2nd, 2018 2:45am
Be explicit about what you want. Your boyfriend should not have to guess what you want. Talk about your ideal future with him, and listen and be open to his ideal future. Avoid being angry with his answers if they are not what you want. Instead, ask why he feels that way. Good relationships are based on communication, which involves both talking and listening.
Renaelb98
February 7th, 2018 9:11am
Suggest that you want to get married one day and ask how he feels about it. See if he relates to your feelings or not.
Hope39
February 7th, 2018 7:35pm
be upfront and honest about your expectations of marriage. share your values, ideas, goals and what you want in life long term. make sure you are ready for marriage and both share the same same goals for a future. that you both want the same thing in life. because marriage is sharing a life with someone, through everything life throws at you. good and bad. it's not the same as dating when you get to just walk away when things go bad in the relationship. marriage is a lifelong commitment that you cannot walk away from that easy and decisions have to be made by both partners not just one.
Anonymous
February 13th, 2018 10:52am
So you've been together for a while now, and you find yourself thinking it's time to ask the big question: Where is this going? Is this long-term? Is this "the one?" You know the deal. So when you've gotten serious with someone and you're wondering how to make things progress, how do you bring up marriage (aka the question before THE question)? It's a tough conversation to have, particularly if you're at an age where you don't want to waste time with someone who doesn't want the same things you do. However, you owe it to yourself and your partner to be honest about what you want and what your intentions are. Do they see this ending in marriage, or do they even want to get married at all? The worst part about this conversation (aside from the anxiety it induces beforehand) is often the aftermath. Either you've got to navigate more serious waters in the relationship, or you are faced with breaking up if you don't want the same future. Often, though, you'll be surprised that you and your partner are on the same page after all. But for now, let's stick with the basics: How do you go about bringing up the M word? 1. Get To The Point This is my favorite way to have any conversation. Keep it simple with something like, "I know that I want to get married someday. Not today or tomorrow, but it is something I want in my future. How do you feel about it?" It's an open-ended question that isn't accusatory and doesn't come with loads of pressure. Avoid statements like, "are you ever going to marry me?" Hopefully, you had the "what are we?" discussion with similar maturity. 2. Start A General Discussion If getting right to the point freaks you out a bit, then try to start a more general conversation on the topic. If you have a friend who got recently engaged, by the way, don't be afraid to casually bring it up — talk about how old they are, how long they were together before getting engaged. You may be able to at least gauge their interest in marriage or their general feelings about marriage. This is a wise move if you think your boyfriend or girlfriend might have some negative feelings about marriage and you want to avoid an awkward, direct conversation. 3. Don't Try To Be Too Cool We have definitely all made this mistake, where we act like you don't care about something when we really do. You know how it goes. You pretend that marriage, commitment, and a family aren't important to you. If those things actually aren't important to you, that's totally cool, too. What's not cool is pretending to have different priorities than you do. It's not fair to you, and it's not fair to your partner — you'll inevitably start resenting them. So, when it comes to the marriage talk, be honest with yourself and your partner. 4. Don't Assume Just because your significant other is great with babies and is a wonderful fur parent doesn't mean they want to get married tomorrow and have kids. Don't bring any assumptions into your conversation, or you may be unpleasantly surprised. 5. Skip The Ultimatum Regardless of how you choose to bring up marriage, an ultimatum simply shouldn't be part of the conversation. We've all probably made this mistake once (I know I have) and you live to regret it. the bottom line is, you don't want to be with someone who doesn't want to be with you, and you certainly shouldn't have to convince someone to marry you.
ErinEnders
February 21st, 2018 6:31pm
This discussion shouldn't be avoided, because it will show you the status and the direction of your relationship. Don't be too eager to start a discussion about this, first. You can start talking about how you see your own families, how do you see other families, what would he like to see in his own family, and other questions which address the subject of family and marriage but not directly about your own marriage. In this way, you can test the waters and see if your boyfriend is ready enough to take such a responsibility. If you feel that he is, you can open a discussion about how he sees your relationship in the future and what plans does he have.
Zakkuchan
February 21st, 2018 6:31pm
How to talk to your boyfriend about marriage isn't simple. You should get to know what they want int he future then tell them what you want in the future and tell them that you would like to get married at some point in the relationship.
Anonymous
February 25th, 2018 2:57am
It is a difficult decision, so it's understandable if it's challenging to talk about. At the same time, if you know him well enough, you could try to find the perfect time and place to start talking about it. For instance, if he's a morning person, you probably don't want to talk about it in the evening. If he likes a particular restaurant, just take him out to that place and then talk. Having a favorable surrounding that makes him feel comfortable will make it easier for you to talk about it. Start by conveying why marriage is important to you and why you believe that you two should get married. All the best!
TheFrienduSeek
March 9th, 2018 6:55am
Talk him about your love for him. Tell him you want to get involved more deeper. Tell him about rhe dreams you have for future and your concerns. Assure him that you respect his time and decisions and just communicting what you are feeling. And in now way, you are pressurizing him for making decisions..
Anonymous
April 8th, 2018 2:04am
Be clearly, some guys are not good at getting hints. Also start by saying you don't expect to get married tomorrow and are simply wondering about what the future holds for you both.
Strongloner592
April 8th, 2018 9:22am
Marriage indeed is a big decision. Boys being usually of the type who rather are often afraid of the feeling of being committed, you don't want him to freak out. You also must take care of your behaviour when you approach him, like you should not be all tensed and serious. Just walk up to him casually and with a smile on your face say that you have something to say to him. Be careful not to jump to the actual reason and also just don't beat around the bush. Keep it simple and tell him how much he means to you, what positive effects he has had on your life and how you enjoy each moment of his company. After confessing what you feel for him and before jumping to the conclusion, ask him for his opinion about you and your relationship with him. If he has a positive answer, you can finally reveal your emotions to him about marriage and how you want to spend each and every moment of life with him thereafter. However, if he is still uncertain about you two guys but you definitely want to be with him, give him some time and don't force it on him. If you are lucky enough, he will eventually own up to you about his feelings. What may be the outcome, I hope it's the best for you.