The Facebook "Seen" message gives me a lot of anxiety! When I see that the person has "seen" the message, but does not reply, I start thinking about all the possible reasons why they would 'ignore' me... Does anyone else feel this? If so, how do you cope?

Well instead of thinking about all the reason why they would ignore you ....think about why haven't they replied you, i mean to say that don't judge or think that they are ignoring you maybe something came up and they are not able to reply at the moment. Try to think in a positive way. It happens with almost everyone, think like you are in their place and you saw the message and haven't replied and what could be the reasons. There could be a lot of reasons and the negative reasons will give you anxiety only so think positive because after all they reply after sometime.

It may sound strange but most of us have the tendency to have the black or white thinking. To our human eyes there are so many different colours in the physical worlds. With that being said, there are so many options and possibilities. On a micro level, as an individual, we can be busy managing different things in our lives. Someone has seen our messages but not giving a reply. It is only a fact. How do you interpret the fact? You can think of the worst of the person. You can think of the best of the person. A fact itself doesn't make us suffer. Judging the fact may cause us suffering. I choose to be open-minded about it. It is a fact. That is it.

Yes. Seenzone is really frustrating sometimes. I also can not stand this. When someone seenzone's me, I try to think that s/he can be busy. I personally seenzone a lot of persons. Not because I want to, always, sometimes it's just I am busy. Then I reply later. There is another reason, If I want to ignore that person so yes, I seenzone him/her. But if someone wants to ignore me, that's okay too. S/he is someone I should ignore too because I have my self respect. Everyone should have too. Self respect is something that helps me in this type of situation.

i think it is very common, if we do not know the reason for a certain action, we keep on thinking about it, especially if the person is important to us. I would say that the best way to deal with it is to directly ask the person for the reason rather than thinking about all sorts of negative things. That way you get clarity and also it saves you from a lot of negative thoughts. Also, one can try to think of positive reasons like eg, they must be busy or have forgotten, rather than negative ones till they reply.

I definitely understand how this would make you feel like you are being ignored. But the way I chose to look at is, a)maybe they got the alert and it is a habit to check it, but they are really busy and will get back to me soon. b) was the message sent really worthy of a direct response? like was a question asked that required an answer? maybe my message was not as direct as I originally wanted it to be. Maybe I need to rephrase what I am saying/asking to make the other person realize I am expecting a response.

This is so common with everyone I know. I, personally am an over-thinker and usually will think of all the other possible negative reason why someone might not have replied to a message, even if the last message I sent does not necessarily warrant a response. Generally, I cope with this anxiety by putting down my device, and moving on with my life, though this also depends on the person I am messaging. For instance, if it is one of my close friends, I will follow up with them, and their reason is usually because they are busy or forgot to reply. If it is someone I am still getting to know, I will just leave it as it is. If they are as invested in communicating with you as you are with them, they will eventually take the time to respond. If not, I just move on because I am positive that there is someone else in your circle that is willing to give me time out of their day to touch base and/or respond. Keep in mind that everyone has a different personality. some people are just "not as good" as messaging as others. For instance, one of my best friends rarely responds to my messages in a timely manner and sometimes may ignore them. They are a completely different in person, and are usually the one who leads the conversation. My other friend is very good at texting and messaging, but in person they are very awkward and shy. Everyone is different, but just make sure that if you do get anxious, put down your device and do something else to distract or calm yourself. Think positively, and try to look at the innocent reasons why someone may not respond to a message, rather than the negative intentional reasons. Remember, you are just as important as everyone else.

I cope by distracting myself. It's always best to try and remember that everyone is doing something and so they may not always be there to answer your message, even if they have seen it. Therefore, I try my best to do something else until they've messaged me back. However, if I feel like they haven't messaged me in a while (normally a day or two of not replying) then I'll message them again to make sure they're alright. Sometimes people see that you've sent them a message while they're in the middle of doing something and so they forget to respond to you, so it may not seem like they're ignoring you.

It used to make me anxious but one day I realized that I did leave people on "seen" and forget to reply sometimes. I do because I have personal and professional emergencies going on which drain all my time and energy and prevents me from chatting afterwards. I do it because I feel low or tired, can't think of anything funny, smart or nice to answer, so I prefer to say nothing. I do so because I am a day dreamer who needs plenty of alone time, no matter how much I love the people in my life, it is just a basic need. I do it because I set boundaries for myself. Any social interaction is tiring to some points, even the ones that seem very chill require energy. I do it because I always want to pay attention to people. I really want to listen carefully and to answer giving 100% of my attention. It is a matter of respect because I care, I take people seriously when they share something with me, so I'd rather not talk at all than being half there, being my own shadow and taking the risk to seem distant or to say something stupid or inappropriate. So when someone leaves me on seen, I just assume that they are like me. It just means they are not available. It has nothing to do with me, it is about them and what they are going through. And it is ok, I won't ad any pressure on them.

Yes, other people do feel this same feeling, you aren't alone with this! It's natural to feel like you aren't good enough or like you have somehow messed up when someone doesn't reply to your message as soon as they've read it. You are more likely to feel this way if you have low self-esteem, talking to a 7 cups listener or a therapist could help you deal with this. Other things that might work for you include reminding yourself of all of the other rational reasons that the person hasn't replied- maybe their phone died, maybe they fell asleep, maybe they got distracted and forget to hit "send". Another thing you can try is explaining to the person that when they don't respond to your messages it makes you feel anxious. I hope this helps. Look after yourself, Emi

Yes, it can usually mean sometimes they're busy or at work and don't know what to reply or they're wondering what to say or trying to figure out what you mean. it can be confusing no doubt. I have no doubt that's how you feel about it. though it can hard to say like man why are just not replying. hopefully this helps you a lot with what you're experiencing. I've experienced this myself. where I'm just scratching my head wondering what's been going on? why haven't I been able to simply get a reply from them. so I feel you.

I totally understand that feeling! This literally happened to me yesterday. It is so hard because you see that they "saw" the message and you become over-anxious and second guess everything. This is something I have struggled with and still sometimes do. Once again...yesterday. An important thing that I like to remind myself is that Facebook (and any site that has this feature) is really wishy-washy with how they measure "seen" messages. For example: if they are using a laptop and have the chat pulled up, it automatically marks the message as seen and does not give a notification. So if they are scrolling and didn't see the message, but the chat is open, according to those sites, they have "seen" the message. If they are using a phone and accidentally open the bubble or clear the notification, it will also show as "seen". So when I see that my friend has "seen" my message but hasn't responded, I try to remind myself that maybe they haven't or cannot respond at the moment. I think back on how they have responded to me in the past so they have a pretty good reputation so far. Another thing I do sometimes I pretend that it is not me having this problem, but a friend of mine and I am trying to help the feel better. I tell myself the same things I would tell them.

Yeah! Everyone sometimes or other faces this situation, not only on Facebook messages but also missed calls sometimes feels havocking when not called back. But it is normal to overthink the situation, mostly when the second person is too close to us. Now, moving up to the fact! Actually thinking why the message remained just seen and not replied will come up with a lot of scenarios, some positive and some negative too. But again there is a point to note that all of them cannot be true. There must have been any one condition because of which the second person didn't replied to the text. Also it is not necessary that we can think of the same situation and comprehend it exactly in our brain. So the best option out here is taking a break. Yeah surely it is hard, because our mind can't take up any kind of suspense. But that is best time to practice the power of patience. Try doing something else, which for a while distracts you from the situation. Try not thinking about the same. Stop making assumptions and stay away of negative thoughts. Practice these and I assure you things will go simple, because the other person is going to reply anyway after a considerable time. While if not you can ask him/her simply, why did he skipped the reply if you feel it’s really a concern. :)

I used to feel this. I find challenging my thoughts about why they might do this is helpful. If my thought is negative, I try to challenge this and think of alternative, more realistic reasons they may have not replied. Ask yourself what the worst case reason they would not reply, and then have a think about how likely this is knowing what you already know about the person. In that moment you cannot change that the fact that they did not reply, but you can change how you think about it being on seen. Maybe ask yourself why this makes you feel anxious, and what actions you can take to reduce this anxiety.

I feel like this too and i think most of us feel that way. Try finding ways that help you cope. What are some things you like to do? maybe you like listening to music, hiking, dancing, going on walks etc. Once you find out what you really like to do, maybe you can use that to distract yourself so you arent thinking about it so much. Try thinking more positively when thinking about why they would “ignore you”. i know it can be hard, but try. Are they the type of person thats always busy? maybe thats why they looked over your text Much love

It's actually not uncommon to feel, as I have felt as well. Worrying sometimes if the person has forgotten me or if am unimportant too them. My mind goes everywhere about it and what could be going on. But I also have to remind myself to step back and think about what might be going on in their life. There so much going on in their lives sometimes that I can't always take center stage. So what I have done in the past was distract myself and text them back in 24 hours to see if they just readed and forgot to reply.

I think a lot of people feel this way, it's totally natural and we may make up a story in our head about what's going on. Firstly there could be a reason why they've done this. Do they need time to think about how to respond? Have they read it and then have to go out etc? Then there is the flip side. They are ignoring you or they are game playing to make you feel this way. If you suspect this is the case, these are always great people to have around. Accept that this is the way these people are. Prepare yourself, before you text them, they might do this. Protect yourself. If you suspect they are toxic, maybe limit contact. Otherwise try and remember not everyone does answer back quickly and may want to reflect before they message back.

I've been through this, it's a common feeling. Unfortuantely, social media in general is proven to increase anxiety in susceptible individuals (numerous studies have shown this). You can try not taking it personally, etc. But if you find yourself getting increasingly anxious about things like this, the best thing you can do for yourself and others is to stop using facebook messenger. If you have something to say try calling or sending a text. Don't attach any meaning to instant message interactions and avoid them so that they hold less weight and take up less space in your thoughts.

They are not ignoring you. Maybe they were busy or just can’t get to you. Honestly there are a lot of possibilities. You just got to hope for the best one. And if you are really anxious. Go ahead and ask them about it. Like hey I saw you ‘seen’ my message and never responded. Why was that? And they probably answer you. I think it’s no reason to get all anxious over. You hope for the best option and go with it. Oh they are just busy. Woops there phone died. Oh they fell asleep. Take your pick.

Yes, I have had. If any person saw my messages but left it that way, my heartbeat started to race faster and faster and instantly started to think I must have said something they don't like or must have offended them. Used to keep checking if they replied like hell thinking what I must have said. This used to be so cruel. This was unbearable. The first step I took to get rid of this anguish was to learn keeping others as seen. Sounds funny yet I did this true. I started to keep as seen my acquaintances and less known persons one at time first. Because the thing that used to come to my mind during this hardship was I never kept them seen. So first I had to learn to keep others seen. Then gradually realized that its everyone's right to keep others seen. Haha. Hope things get better for you..

It can help to remember that so many people, even ones we're very close to, have a lot on their plate that we may not know about. In the same way that you are anxious about being left on read, they may be anxious about answering in general, or answering and saying the wrong things. Some people have different social norms and may not realize that some messages even require a response, or a quick one. Some people may be dealing with mental or physical things that give them brain fog to the degree that they forget things easily, such as responding to a message they've already read. Can you think of a time this happened and you were able to move passed the anxiety? Was there anything that helped you, such as distracting yourself with something else, messaging another person, or doing something else that you enjoy?

The reason we feel pain when someone doesn’t text back is because it leaves time for us to 'over-analyze'. The stuff we said. The stuff we didn’t say. Did I showcase myself as too needy? Am I worthy? Am I annoying? Am I clingy? What went wrong? Will I ever get a reply? It’s not about this other person who didn’t text back. It’s mostly about us. It’s the questions we don’t want to honestly answer. It’s an emptiness that creates emotional discomfort. It lets us seep in our loneliness & feelings of self-doubt.The cause: -Too much emotional investment from our side. -Expecting reciprocity. - A lower subjective emotional evaluation of our own worth. Sometimes people delay giving a response because they’re busy and at other times, maybe they just don’t want to. There's a new (idiotic) fad these days to deliberately delay the responses to spark attraction.

I have been in your shoes before. I try to think about why the might to be able to answer me right away. For example, they might be at work or occupied with something at the moment. I personally give it a couple hours to see if they respond, if they don't, I send another message asking if they are busy. If it's causing you anxiety its good to use techniques to help and manage the anxiety you might be experiencing. Occupying yourself with an activity might help with calming your anxiety. Never be afraid to look at resources on the internet that can help with managing anxiety!

Try to see it as that person is busy and doesn’t always have time to answer every message instead of “they’ve ignored me they must really dislike me” many people struggle to keep up with an abundance of message and it’s about allowing them time to reply an letting them be peaceful also try to remember that everyone uses their phones in a different way and you never know what is going on in someone’s life therefore it's important to have and understand Without knowing everything p, not to presume but to remain calm in a situation as stated above

I understand the feeling. There are multiple reasons to a person not responding to your messages and leaving you on read. For example, if they are in a hurry and see the message, they might be like "Oh, that's cool, I'll reply to them later.". Another reason might be that they just don't know how to answer, which also happends from time to time. There's plenty of reasons, really, and them leaving you on read don't necessarily mean that they dont like you or are just ignoring you. If you feel like they do, try to wait a few hours after you sent the message, and if they don't reply even after that, then I feel like it's the best to message them about it.

Yes, I used to have this mentality about social media all the time. It makes you feel like if they had the choice to say something, why didn't they? However, with some time I realized that even though they have seen the message, there could be a bunch of reasons that they don't respond or feel the need not to. I worked on not taking things too personally, and if they choose not to respond then that's on them, and thinking about it too much will drain you. Usually there's a good reason that they don't respond, but at the end of the day it's their loss.

The Facebook " Seen" message gives you a lot of anxiety. I agree. It happens with me too Sometimes. The best way to avoid it to remember that the person might be busy too or might have been caught up into something or probably it's s natural end to the chat. The best way to avoid is that if you talk to that person again, tell them to not leave you at ' seen ' again. Or better yet, remind yourself that they might have caught into some stuffs or may not know how to reply to that. Just remember there's a life other Facebook too which is full of unpredictability.

Went through that a lot to be honest, it used to make me feel so frustrated and anxious and I start hating the other person for ignoring me, with time I myself started changing and understood that everyone has their own life and I even started reading texts then totally forget to reply, I never actually intend to do that and I apologize when I realize what I did because I know how frustrating it is for the other person but everyone is different after all. I tried my best to decision was not texting people who continuously leave me on seen and this made me feel way calmer

This feeling seems increasingly common among those who engage in the use of social media. I would venture to say that when someone sees, but doesn't immediately respond to a message, it is not necessarily the same as ignoring it. In fact, there are many reasons they might not write back (or might not be able to write back) immediately. Perhaps they are at work, or they don't know how to respond yet, perhaps they want to give your message the time it deserves. With this type of anxiety, it's important to try to avoid the rabbit hole of "why they haven't answered" and look inward at why it is distressing to you that they haven't answered. Are you looking for external validation that they aren't immediately providing? Do you feel undervalued as a friend? When you understand the cause of the anxiety, you are usually better apt to cope with it.

Not really. I guess I just think either there was nothing to say back because the conversation was basically over by that point or I think maybe they are busy & didn't have time to respond yet, only read. I don't see the point in stressing about someone else's response or lack thereof. Maybe one way to cope with it would be to distract yourself, get yourself to focus on other things rather than essentially waste energy & time on someone not responding to you. I don't have more to add I'm just trying to get to the 100 words now yay

From my personal experience, I usually give the other person his/her time to answer, as they might be busy. But this might not always be the case, so If I feel ignored, I usually discuss it with them (e.g. I felt ignored when you left me with the seen message) but this applies only to cases where a person lefts me in 'seen' for an extended period of time. However, I get that people tend to forget, even I do, so I am trying not to make a big deal out of this. At the moment I see 'seen', I usually take a cold bath to calm my anxiety at the moment.