The Facebook "Seen" message gives me a lot of anxiety! When I see that the person has "seen" the message, but does not reply, I start thinking about all the possible reasons why they would 'ignore' me... Does anyone else feel this? If so, how do you cope?

I cope by distracting myself. It's always best to try and remember that everyone is doing something and so they may not always be there to answer your message, even if they have seen it. Therefore, I try my best to do something else until they've messaged me back. However, if I feel like they haven't messaged me in a while (normally a day or two of not replying) then I'll message them again to make sure they're alright. Sometimes people see that you've sent them a message while they're in the middle of doing something and so they forget to respond to you, so it may not seem like they're ignoring you.

It used to make me anxious but one day I realized that I did leave people on "seen" and forget to reply sometimes. I do because I have personal and professional emergencies going on which drain all my time and energy and prevents me from chatting afterwards. I do it because I feel low or tired, can't think of anything funny, smart or nice to answer, so I prefer to say nothing. I do so because I am a day dreamer who needs plenty of alone time, no matter how much I love the people in my life, it is just a basic need. I do it because I set boundaries for myself. Any social interaction is tiring to some points, even the ones that seem very chill require energy. I do it because I always want to pay attention to people. I really want to listen carefully and to answer giving 100% of my attention. It is a matter of respect because I care, I take people seriously when they share something with me, so I'd rather not talk at all than being half there, being my own shadow and taking the risk to seem distant or to say something stupid or inappropriate. So when someone leaves me on seen, I just assume that they are like me. It just means they are not available. It has nothing to do with me, it is about them and what they are going through. And it is ok, I won't ad any pressure on them.

Yes, other people do feel this same feeling, you aren't alone with this! It's natural to feel like you aren't good enough or like you have somehow messed up when someone doesn't reply to your message as soon as they've read it. You are more likely to feel this way if you have low self-esteem, talking to a 7 cups listener or a therapist could help you deal with this. Other things that might work for you include reminding yourself of all of the other rational reasons that the person hasn't replied- maybe their phone died, maybe they fell asleep, maybe they got distracted and forget to hit "send". Another thing you can try is explaining to the person that when they don't respond to your messages it makes you feel anxious. I hope this helps. Look after yourself, Emi

Yes, it can usually mean sometimes they're busy or at work and don't know what to reply or they're wondering what to say or trying to figure out what you mean. it can be confusing no doubt. I have no doubt that's how you feel about it. though it can hard to say like man why are just not replying. hopefully this helps you a lot with what you're experiencing. I've experienced this myself. where I'm just scratching my head wondering what's been going on? why haven't I been able to simply get a reply from them. so I feel you.

I totally understand that feeling! This literally happened to me yesterday. It is so hard because you see that they "saw" the message and you become over-anxious and second guess everything. This is something I have struggled with and still sometimes do. Once again...yesterday. An important thing that I like to remind myself is that Facebook (and any site that has this feature) is really wishy-washy with how they measure "seen" messages. For example: if they are using a laptop and have the chat pulled up, it automatically marks the message as seen and does not give a notification. So if they are scrolling and didn't see the message, but the chat is open, according to those sites, they have "seen" the message. If they are using a phone and accidentally open the bubble or clear the notification, it will also show as "seen". So when I see that my friend has "seen" my message but hasn't responded, I try to remind myself that maybe they haven't or cannot respond at the moment. I think back on how they have responded to me in the past so they have a pretty good reputation so far. Another thing I do sometimes I pretend that it is not me having this problem, but a friend of mine and I am trying to help the feel better. I tell myself the same things I would tell them.

Yeah! Everyone sometimes or other faces this situation, not only on Facebook messages but also missed calls sometimes feels havocking when not called back. But it is normal to overthink the situation, mostly when the second person is too close to us. Now, moving up to the fact! Actually thinking why the message remained just seen and not replied will come up with a lot of scenarios, some positive and some negative too. But again there is a point to note that all of them cannot be true. There must have been any one condition because of which the second person didn't replied to the text. Also it is not necessary that we can think of the same situation and comprehend it exactly in our brain. So the best option out here is taking a break. Yeah surely it is hard, because our mind can't take up any kind of suspense. But that is best time to practice the power of patience. Try doing something else, which for a while distracts you from the situation. Try not thinking about the same. Stop making assumptions and stay away of negative thoughts. Practice these and I assure you things will go simple, because the other person is going to reply anyway after a considerable time. While if not you can ask him/her simply, why did he skipped the reply if you feel it’s really a concern. :)

A lot! So usually before sending message, I check it and read it for several times to avoid any misunderstanding. After sending, if I didn't answer immediately, I tend to overthink a lot and being anxious. I usually try to get myself thinking about different scenarios of why they weren't able to answer me. They might be driving, going outdoor, eating dinner. Or they might simply need some time to think about what they're going to say. It's sometimes true about ourselves too, Isn't it? I myself try to avoid others from overthinking when I don't answer immediately. So I try to read message from its "notifiation", find a good time or think about the answer, and then check and send it. But to be honest, It's still really hard for me, especially for the those who are important to me.

I understand how you feel as I too used to feel but it don't make me anxious and I changed my perspective,Think in this way may be they got busy with something else that is unavoidable and left chatting after seeing massage or may be there are in between conversation with their parents ,family or someone related to them professionaly,or they are not replying to anyone generally as they are not feeling well, or they need sometimes to be comfortable to have proper conversation with youbasically, replying to massage may be about them not you .so try to look at it from perspective other than that of ignorance and avoidance

Yes, I understand exactly how you feel and I also feel this way when I text a message to someone and they don't reply. Sometimes I think of so many reasons like " are they busy", "do they not like me", "are they mad at me", and so much more. I cope with this by distracting myself with something. Usually when someone leaves you on seen they are either busy, don't know what to reply so they leave you on seen, aren't in the mood to talk. People go through so many things everyday so they could be having a bad day or they might not want to talk. Usually people leave someone on seen if they do not know what to say and I have personally been through it before. I cope with this by distracting myself whether that is watching a YouTube video, listening to music, exercising and so much more. Then I just tell myself that they probably have a good reason to leave me on seen and go along with my day. I usually wait and talk to them the next day and if it feels like they are mad at you. Talk to them and everything will work out. I hope this helped at least a little. And if you have any other questions, the 7 cups community is always here for you thank you

Absolutely, knowing someone has seen your message and wondering why there’s no reply can be quite anxiety inducing. However it might not be that they are ignoring you. I must admit that I am personally terrible at replying to messages, I’ll read it, whilst being busy doing something else and then go back and think oh dear I’ve left them to long to reply now! Then I’m anxious about whether I should reply after a long time! Don’t get yourself too worried about messages being seen, they could have read it and simply forgotten to reply. Send a message and then do something else like watch a video on YouTube to pass the time, sitting watching the status of the message will not make the time go any quicker or the reply come any faster!

Hiya.... If the seen messages make you feel anxious, maybe limit your time on Facebook, so you are not exposing yourself to seeing them all the time. Also, try not to assume the worst, as some people are not always available to reply straight away. Try to resist texting again, just leave it be, and if they do not respond in a timely manner, maybe concentrate on those people who are genuinely interested in you. If all else fails, just try and occupy yourself with something else more satisfying, instead of dwelling on why they have not replied to you. Take a walk, listen to music, cook a nice meal, and be kind to yourself always, Stay positive and in the moment and you will find your anxiety will dissipate and before you know it, you will have forgotten about these messages and move on. Hope this helps. :-)

This is a completely understandable reaction. After talking to people about their texting behaviors, I find that most of the times when people leave you on "read" or "seen", it isn't personal. They don't purposely want to "ignore" you. For example, the conversation may have come to a gradual end, the person you are texting is busy, the person you are texting doesn't have the mental energy to text at that moment, dry texters, etc. It used to bother me a lot too, but sometimes trying to understand the second person's perspective takes the blame off of you or them and rather just the situation. With that being said, there are people who do it purposely, and it is good to have a conversation about this with them if they are close to you. If they are not close to you and continuously do this, I'd suggest to avoid spending time on someone who doesn't return your energy.

Being responded to right away for many is a sign of respect. We don't always know what the recipient of the message is doing. The recipient could be in a position where responding is not an option. Remaining calm and giving a time period, allowing the person time to reply. If it had been over 24hrs, following up with your message and finding out possibly the reason you did not receive a response right away. If your message is urgent and you are able, call the person. With several reasons as to why a person isn't responding, you never really know if its that they are just choosing not to.

Yes, I hate being left on read. You just have to check the facts of the situation and list all of the reasons possible for why they may not have responded yet. It is always better to assume the best of people and give them time to respond. If they never respond, they aren't a good friend and you deserve better. For example, the person may have read it and forgotten to respond, they may have read it and are busy and plan on responding later, they may have read it and don't feel like talking to you right now, and they may have read it and never want to talk to you. The last one is hurtful. In all of these cases, DON'T send another message. Let them come to you.

I hear you. You feel anxious when someone has read your message but chooses not to respond because you associate it with them ignoring you and being upset. That is completely valid. In fact, I experience this anxiety too. It can be scary to think of all the possibilities as to why someone did not respond to a message. Here is what I suggest: 1. Take deep breaths. In and out. It is most definitely not the end of the world. 2. Remind yourself that people get busy. Sometimes I wake up and check a message but don't reply because I'm still in bed :p ~ Things happen. 3. If you are genuinely scared something is wrong, it doesn't hurt to ask! "Hey, I see that you're reading my messages but not responding. This makes me nervous as I feel you are ignoring me." - Talking things out may help you feel a bit better. :) That's all! I wish you the best. Know that you aren't alone in this experience. Many feel the same. :)

This is really understandable, and the feeling of being ignored can be really horrible. I usually try to refrain from even checking whether they have seen the message, by distracting myself with useful tasks. It is also important to remind yourself that people interact online in different ways, and you never know what is happening on the other end of a text-it is very unlikely that the message being ignored is a reflection of you. Finally, reminding yourself that even if the person doesn't reply, things will be okay, remember that things lie this have happened before and have turned out alright, or you have got through them and you will do again!

This may be just one symptom of overthinking, your constantly feeling as though you might’ve done something wrong and wrack your brain for the answer, you may find yourself lost in thought constantly thinking and trying to reason with yourself as to why they may have left you on seen, I’ve experienced this same thing through many different things in life, the way I cope is to assure myself that I didn’t do anything wrong and that they have no reason to be upset, it can be hard for an over thinker to suppress their habits but self assurance is a good and healthy way to cope

There could be many reasons that a person doesn't reply to a message. It's hard to not take it personally but think about other possible reasons. Maybe your answer was sufficient or the person needs to to think about what you said a little longer. I know that I am guilty of reading messages and then forgetting to go back and responding to them - not because of the person who sent it because I was interrupted. Try not to assume the other person is deliberately "ignoring you" and believe that you did your best.

It sounds like you feel ignored and when people have seen your message but do not reply this heightens your anxiety. I invite you to think about the sensations and emotions you feel in that situation where you are not getting replies. What is your physiology saying to you? Is your heart racing? Are you sweating? Is it in urgent matters where you are anxious that you have no reply? Is it in non-urgent matters where you are anxious that you have no reply? It's natural to feel this way and from my own personal experience I have tried to come up with possible reasons that they will answer later. For example, they are probably just busy, they have lots of stress in their life, they are probably at work and want to text you back when there is more time. Doing that helps lessen the anxiety and can put you in a more open and positive mood. It feels a little bit "artificial" at first, but the more you do it the easier it gets. For further support please do not hesitate to reach out to one of our listeners or therapists who may have lived experience or specialize in the subject of anxiety. On our site we also have self-help exercises and mindfulness exercises available.

The ‘seen’ message is designed precisely to cause this reaction and encourage frequent use of their platforms. It’s the same on their other platforms too. Please be aware of these tricks employed by social media companies whose business it is to take and use your time so they can make money from running advertising. So yes it’s felt by others, but please don’t let it cause negative emotions. There may be many reasons why someone hasn’t replied, so please do t assume they don’t want to talk more with you. Perhaps they just didn’t have anything to say, or couldn’t say something right then.

I understand how this feels like ignoring. Maybe the technical background helps you to feel better about it? Messengers like Facebook give us the impression that the persons are right there giving us undivided attention. Text messages doesn't work like that. When you send a message the device doesn't know if the message has really been seen or read. If Facebook is left open and people are not at the computer anymore or put their device away and start doing other things, Facebook still marks that as "seen". And if they're online it doesn't mean they are necessarily available for talk. They might be busy, working on something or doing self-care. :) I hope this helps you cope.

I do relate to this, it can be really anxiety inducing! I usually just try to stay busy, which i know is way easier said than done. Important to remember that everyone lives a separate life and just like when youre sometimes busy and unable to repond, its the same for them. I try to keep this in mind when i start to become anxious about it! If it gets too much its totally okay to message them again later, just try not to take your anxiety out on them as they likely dont even realise what theyre doing or how its affecting you.

Yes sometimes i do feel that way too.. Especially when I feel tired, down and has a bit of low self esteem, i would tend to see the situstion worse. A tiny unintentional message can lead to a huge argument because of miscommunication, message can easily be misunderstandood. In this situation, it is best to take a break from messaging, to engage ib self care instead, take a deep breath and try to relax. Do something that does not require phonees/ laptop screen so you can disengage from all the messaging activities like taking a shower, reading books, eating, meet people in real life, there are many thing we can do!

Yes, I feel this most of the time. But I just think they could be in the middle of doing something and could not reply immediately. But if they don't reply after a few hours, I would accept that not all people are polite enough to reply to a facebook message and I should probably not do it again. It is hard not to take it personally but for my mental health, I would take it as a cue that maybe, they dont want to talk to me and would keep my distance. If someone does not want to talk to me, I'd probably would not want to talk to them either.

In most times, you do not know what the person behind the screen is really doing. Perhaps they are not really ignoring you, they are probably not having the time or the energy to talk with you right now, but don't want the notification to stay there. Perhaps they had an unexpected call on the phone , or someone in real life needed them. I felt this multiple times, I was almost always sure that they are intentionally ignoring me. To calm yourself down whenever this happens, I suggest picturing in your mind a positive situation, instead of a negative one : "Perhaps they are just busy." Also, do not make text messages, or social media messages, a priority, because people are not on the phone all the time. It's impossible. Let the conversation flow naturally. When they'll come, they might tell you why they were absent or they might apologize.

Yes this is normal. That anxiety can come up when we are second guessing ourselves and feel we need some validation through others response to us. We use the world to judge and gauge where we are at. So this is normal however I do encourage you do remember that you are valid no matter how a person may respond to you. Your worth is not in others, you are worthy simply for being exactly who you are. Reminding ourselves of this when we experience this anxiety can help a lot. Work on not giving your 'power' away to anyone else but keeping your power with you. This means not allowing anyone to define your worth. Remind yourself that if someone were not to reply it could be that they are busy or not up for chatting and that it is not you. And if they are ignoring you remember that this shows a lot about themselves than it does about you.

I used to feel this on a daily basis-- with every message I sent! I think it's because there's a certian anxiety these situations give us-- they make us really anxious that something went wrong and the problem is with what we did, not vice versa. To cope, I remind myself that I'm not the problem/ the reason to why they're not answering-- maybe the person is waiting to see if I say something else, maybe they're thinking of a great reply to dazzle us, maybe something's going on at home at the moment that they've got to deal with... the possibilities are endless. And obviously, you can't just sit there thinking about all the reasons why they might not be answering. So here's the solution that sounds so easy but is actually quite the opposite: be more confident! Look, if the person doesn't answer, then okay. Whatever! It's not their responsibility to answer right away after seeing a message and it's definitely, definitely not your fault that they don't do this. (Unless you've said something highly offensive/cussed at them) It's theirs! Don't worry too much and think confidently, think about how you're not going to anxiously await a response for that one little text you sent and waste your time like that. They'll reply when they can or want to, so just let them do that and move on with other stuff!

I used to be exactly the same, wondering if i has said something wrong to a person for them to ignore me. The truth is that 90% of the time, it is the other person's problem, not our own. You see, everyone is caught up in their own life, they do not pay much attention to a message. When i came to that realization, it made me feel so much better. We can't control other perceptions of ourselves! And when we do mess up, it's a learning opportunity on what we can do better next time. Hope this helps!

Yes! This is definitely a problem for overthinkers. When we don't get a response quickly, our minds start to fill in the gap or void in response with all the possibilities. I think the first thing that I have learned to do in these situations is recognize that most of the conclusions I jump to are probably not true. This is because we tend to think in terms of the worst case scenarios rather than the most realistic explanations. For example, if you saw someone didn't respond quickly, you might think: "Did I say something wrong?" "Are they angry at me?" In reality, unless you've done something to directly provoke the other person, these responses are more anxiety-based than anything. In most cases, the lag in responses is less about something wrong on our end and more about something going on with the other person. For example, they might just be busy at that moment, or not able to think up a proper response until later. I remind myself of these things constantly because it's rarely been the case that a friend has left me on "seen" and it ended up being for the reasons that my mind would jump to initially.

I feel the exact same way, I have a problem with overthinking all of the time! What helps me cope is taking a deep breath and recounting the times when I could not respond to a Facebook message right away after reading it. Sometimes it takes time for me to even think of a response, or maybe I was at work and only had time to give the message a quick look. Coming with reasonable reasons as to why I may not be able to answer a message right away eases my anxiety when I see the little "seen" message in the corner!