A family member thinks I am lying about where I am going but I'm not, what should I do?
252 Answers
Last Updated: 05/29/2022 at 6:19pm
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Clinical Social Work/Therapist
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Top Rated Answers
Earn their trust, tell them where you are going and if they don't believe you, you can tell them whith who you're going and give them the number of that person so they can call you there and you can prove you're with them. Also, send them a picture if necessary. Do bring your phone with you so they can communicate with you if you have one.
If you're not lying then there's nothing to be afraid of go where you would like to go you're doing nothing wrong at all.
Anonymous
July 9th, 2016 4:48am
I know that feeling. Once, I even had to take a photo of where I was just to get them to believe me. Maybe you could ask them to tag along if you want them to. But if you don't, you could tell them where you're going and if they don't believe you, that's their problem.
Anonymous
December 7th, 2018 3:58pm
If a family member thinks you are lying about where you are going, then you probably have given them a reason to not trust where you are going. Allow your family member to stay in contact with you and always check in to reassure your safety. Family members do care, but they also know what it is like being younger to run off and do things that they are not supposed to be doing or lying about where they are going. Do not take it the wrong way or get upset about it, they truly care about you. If there are guardians or if they know a friend and trust that friend you are with, then the trust shall increase over time.
I am sorry you have a family member accusing you of lying, it can be upsetting when people close to us don't trust us or think that we are probably doing something wrong, when in the first place we're not and being honest about everything. So maybe ask the member what is making them feel that you're lying ? , and then depending on how they answer, tell them you're telling the truth and it's hurtful how they are still doubting on you...assure them, that they can trust you and you value them believing in you and wouldn't want to do anything otherwise. Maybe that could help them feel understood 💛
If that family member is not among your parents then make them believe that you are ture to your words, infront of that family member who doesnt believe you. If among them then seek help from either of the two.
Anonymous
April 8th, 2018 2:40am
Ignore them, you know you're telling the truth. If they are important to you the would trust and believe you
Whoever holds the truth should never be worried. You should just act naturally and stop worrying and if that family members insists just confront him politely and talk about his doubts clearly
Remain calm. When you are accused of something, especially if you are telling the truth, your first reaction may be to get angry or defensive. Getting overly excited or frustrated, while a fair response to an accusation, can actually make the other person believe the accusation is true.When it's clear that you cannot convince this person of your honesty, ask for more information about why she seems to distrust you. Equipped with this information you can strive to be more trustworthy in the future.
Anonymous
November 9th, 2016 1:16pm
If you have any way to prove where you are going, that would be a good idea. I also think you should have a family talk with them so they understand more if you explain it calmly. I feel like maybe a tone could change their thoughts. Trust has a massive role in this, try and get it between you and your family! :)
I know how you must have been feeling if the person whom you are connected to wouldn't trust you. You can do everything in your power to communicate better and maybe prove it to the said member and find out where if there ever was, any kind of communication gap. But, in the end, all you can do is try. You cannot expect them to trust you. You are gonna have to accept that. Make peace with it.
Accept that the family member is not trusting you as of now. Try to earn their trust, and if the person still doesn't trust you, then you have done all you can.
Good luck
You should sit down with them and have an honest conversation with them about where and why you are going somewhere and if you are comfortable with doing this you can share your location when you arrive at your destination to help calm them down. Remember they only think your lying because they care and want whats best for you. Family cares about family and you should be proud to have a family that cares so much about your safety. If you talk to them about there concerns and offer to send your location or an "arrived" text when you get there it should calm them down.
Find a way to prove to them that you are not lying. It hurts when people don't trust you but don't get angry or defensive when they bring the subject up as that won't help gain their trust. Try to keep a cool head when talking about it and be rational. Tell them in detail what you are doing to make it sound as viable as possible. Could you ask them to take part in some way eg drop you off/ pick you up? Or even agree to text or ring them while you are out. Hope this helps.
Anonymous
September 5th, 2018 3:34pm
You should continue to tell them the truth. you could record where you are going to show them later to prove this it is what you are doing, there are also gps tracking apps if they still don't believe you, there are a lot of things to do. As of right now you should sit down with your family member and talk to them about why they think you are lying and you should ask them where it is they think you are going. If they don't believe you even after all that you could change your habit of when you go. you could instead of leaving at night leave in the day.
Anonymous
November 4th, 2018 3:13pm
It sounds like they don't trust you. That must be very frustrating for you to feel like your family doesn't believe what you say. One way to resolve this would be to sit down with your family and initiate a conversation about this. Come from a place love, and be willing to listen to all the reasons why they don't trust you. After you have listened to their reasons, ask them for feedback on how you can build their trust in you again. You will have the opportunity to explain yourself, if you feel they have misunderstood your actions in the past. And you can learn how you deepen your connection and trust with them. They key is to have the conversation from a place of love and openness, and avoid defensiveness.
Anonymous
March 6th, 2022 12:40pm
I understand that you feel anxious about the family member thinking that you are lying where you are going when you are not. Also, I understand that you may feel uncomfortable and upset about why you are not gaining their trust.
I get you and I would feel uncomfortable and upset too if I were in your situation.
Have you thought about why you are lacking this family member's trust? Have you thought of why this family member thinks that you are lying?
Also, how would you feel about talking and confronting this family member.
What is the worst that can happen about talking and confronting this family member, and what is the best that can happen about doing this?
Find a good time and space to talk to them and explain properly where you are going and why you have decided to go there. Ask them about why they think you are lying, and try to understand where they are coming from. You can also give a reasoned response back to explain the answer to their queories.
When you are talking to this family member, try to avoid arguing / shouting / escalating the situation. Instead, talk to them politely and respectfully. Try to understand the situation from their point of view and reassure any concerns that they may have.
When a family member doesn't believe something you have told them the first step is to have a conversation about it with them. Ask the family member what you can do to prove where you are going. Find out by asking the family member why they do not trust what you say and how best you can work together to trust each other. Approach your family member with a motivation to understand why they don't believe you instead of approaching them with anger or pain at not being believed. The end result is to be able to be taken at your word.
Anonymous
February 7th, 2019 11:16pm
Why do they think you are lying? Have you confronted them about how you feel about this in a calm and respectful manner? In a way that they might understand.
Does it bother you that they think you are lying?
In order to gain clarity one must understand how one feels.
Focusing on the issue, gaining clarity, respect, mutual understanding, is the key to most of the issues one might have.
To listen is to understand.
Have you put yourself in their shoes? Same goes to them.
I recommend talking to one of the listeners here at 7 cups if it doesn’t get solved.
Anonymous
March 29th, 2019 1:20am
Try your best to remain calm with them and express that you are being honest and have no reason or motive to deceive them. Ask why they feel this way and see if, together, you can work through the issue and absence of trust. Remember to try to stay calm and be patient and empathetic towards them, because it sounds like an underlying trust issue or a simple worry. And with that, they themselves might not be aware that that is even the underlying issue and will need the empathy to work through it, as well as the current situation between both of you.
I've had a family member do the same to me. I obviously don't know your specific situation, but sometimes trying to think from the other person's perspective helps you to start a conversation with them. For example, my mom used to think I was lying even when I wasn't, and it was difficult to communicate with her because of that. It took a while but I later came to realize (through trying to see stuff through her eyes) that it wasn't that I was doing anything wrong, it was that she was very anxious at the time and it made her question me a lot more.
In today's day and age, technology is all around us. There are numerous apps that you can use to "check in" to let your loved ones know that you are safe and where you say you are.
As a long distance runner, several of my family members worry about me when I am on a longer run. I use Road ID to let them know where I am.
You may feel like using an app to allow your loved ones to check on your location is an invasion of privacy, but if you really are where you say you are, then there is no need to worry. Also, depending on the activity, you may invite them along.
Anonymous
June 13th, 2019 10:14pm
I think you should talk to them and explain where you are going. If they still do not believe you tell them you will send them picture of where you are so they know you are there. If you are going with other people you can text those people and have them fully confirm where you are going. If the person thinking you are lying is a parent make sure they know you will be safe. If the person is not a parent then do not worry about it too much because they are not your parents and can not do anything about it.
Unfortunately, I cannot give personal advise on this topic however I understand how this may be stressful and upsetting for you. Try to understand why they they think that you are lying to them. Think about what you could do in order for them to trust you and not think that you are lying. Do you think that they are mistrusting of you for a reason? If not, what do you think would be the best way for you to show that you are telling the truth. Is there any way that you could show that you are telling the truth when you are going somewhere?
Explain to the family member that you have nothing to hide and you are being transparent and honest when giving them the courtesy of letting them know of your movements. If they continue to believe you are lying there is not much you can do about it except carry on with what you are doing and keep moving forward. If it still bothers you that they don’t believe you then you may like to have a conversation about what you have done to make them doubt and disbelieve what you are saying. If they are unwilling to have the conversation then maybe you need to question them further about why they are feeling this way.
Anonymous
February 18th, 2022 1:33pm
If best in your situation, give them some way to reach you while out so they have reassurance your alright when needed. Usually they are aware of some friend your with. If they happen to not believe and follow you. Then they will see your exact where you meant to be. Possibly this will ease the tension when your going out alone. It can feel uncomfortable like your being judged sure. Overprotective family members usually think they are doing the right for you. If its pushing you away. Id suggest taking time to reassure them youd take all precautions to satisy them. Maybe will eliminate future doubts
Does it cause any trouble for you? If yes, do whatever you have to do to justify yourself, confront them, talk to your family.... But if it doesn’t cause any trouble for you except disturbing your peace of mind, then ask yourself why would you want to stay in a bad feeling?
You need to gain the trust, sit with them, spend time with your family. You need to be expressive some times. Not rudely, but calmly try to explain where you actually go. Sometime being accountable is also good to gain their trust so tell them where do you go, with whom you spend most of the time and you care about what the person thinks about you either it is where you go or any thing else and if the person is not understanding then explain again and again you'll see gradually the person is going to trust you the most.
I sit them down and tell them I love them, and to ask me about where I'm going. When they start to express doubt, I ask them to elaborate and ask them why they think I am lying about something so important.
The most important thing is to make sure that they know they are loved and that you want to be trusted. I wouldn't take a confrontational attitude and would do my best to see why they feel the way that they feel. It could be some sort of miscommunication, or based off of things that aren't true.
The biggest thing, I think, would be to just show that you love the family member and be honest about where you are going, and why.
I believe you in a situation like you need to ask that family member if you guys can have a conversation. Than when that request is approved start by asking that family member what makes them think that you are lying about where you are going. Maybe also ask if they trust you or not. Once you've got your answers to any of you questions you felt needed to be asked than you can simply let the family know that they don't have worry if your lying or not. Let them know that they can trust you. By doing this will allow them to think better when you want to do something.
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