I'm getting my tubes tied at 27 and I'm scared of regret
I found that when I spoke to other childless women who've had to ligations they've never wanted children and can't relate to my complex feelings. As a result, I'm looking for people who have similarly come to the conclusion of deciding to not have children or are not having any more children do to circumstance. I'm a single low income woman with a high risk lifestyle of housing insecurity and less than prim health. I have a history with infertility, life long abuse and ongoing poverty. I began considering about two years ago to get my tubes tied. After realizing since the pandemic I never bounced back financially and I have been making less money every year. This combined with increased safety risks (living in shelters and/or other dangerous temp housing ), childhood trauma (surviving poverty and abuse in childhood) along with my last failed pregnancy in 2019ish I felt I had to find more long terms and eventually choose sterilization. I had always wanted children but never under the poor circumstances which have been a constant in my life. I don't want another miscarriage or stillbirth and I'll likely never be able to seek infertility treatment or provide myself with a quality life that would be facilitate healthy pregnancy/acceptable for a child. I also have a horrible history of birth control complications, failing and inaccessablity due to unpredictable of SA, insurance changes or financial challenges. So tubial ligation.
@emotionalWillow6649
Whatever your reasons you know what they are. I made the choice to have tubes tied when i knew we would never be able to support any more in the way we wanted to. i too was 27 when i had it done.
I have not looked back at all it was the correct long term choice for me.
I honestly do not understand many who either do not want any MORE or any child at all ... play the the birth control game of worry of failure or side effects, the what if ...scenarios. I was always at peace it was NOT going to happen.
I think it is a viable solution that more women could consider
@toughTiger6481 Hi
@emotionalWillow6649 It's completely understandable to feel uncertain about such a significant decision. It might be helpful to take some time to reflect on your feelings and circumstances before committing to something permanent. Giving yourself the space to explore your thoughts and feelings can lead to greater clarity. Ultimately, you deserve to make a choice that feels right for you, and taking that time could be really beneficial.
@Mya000 Hi
@patientShell1003 Hi <3 How are you doing? Would you like to chat privately?
@emotionalWillow6649
Hey there, I may not be in the exact same circumstances as you, but I really heard myself in your words.
I had to get a full hysterectomy at 21, partially by my choice because of my struggles with endometriosis. It had destroyed pretty much any chance of carrying full term if I ever did get pregnant, and by that time, it was actively hurting other organs by attaching them to my uterus.
I knew it had to go, but the pain of losing that opportunity is sharp and long lasting. A part of me wonders if I'll ever regret it, and I know deep down that I may, but I also know that these circumstances are what led to this decision and I have to honor that within myself.
Before my surgery, I wrote a letter to future me telling her about all my feelings, so I'd never forget the situation I was in internally either. I told her why it had to be done, how I felt about it, what my plans were for the future, and words of comfort. I kind of pretended I was comforting another woman through it, but it was myself.
For now, I don't regret it, but I wont fault myself for questioning it in the future. It's important to be empathetic towards yourself, to allow yourself the grace to grieve and mourn the loss of an opportunity, permanent or not.
I'm here to talk if you ever need someone. 💛
@BeesOnFlowers Hi
