Currently I think I am a Bad Christian
Currently I think I am a Bad Christian.
I have spent a lot of years trying to figure out what is wrong with me and how to fix it. But I never figure it out.
I know that I am not perfect. I know that I probably have some sin in me. Yet I'm not doing anything majorly bad. The sin I refer too is what is inside, not so much what I have done on the outside.
I talk to Jesus about this stuff all the time. But I don't have a Church community to help me. I get jealous of those that do! When I see people successfully moving forward with their walk with the Lord, with the help of Church community. I can't help but wonder what is wrong with me? Why did Jesus, allow this to happen to me? How come I got to be so different? Did I do something wrong?
These thoughts have been making me sick, lately.
@tryingtosurvive2024 I understand it's hard to be different, wanting so badly to fit in. And in theese times questioning faith is actually pretty common. Your not doing anything wrong. And please know, we are all the sons and daughters of God and he loves us for whoever we are ❤ when your feeling lost and frustrated, and I'm search of guidance, but not getting it, this quite here always helps out things into perspective for me anyways
' But darling, there is no light at the end of the tunnel, you must realise YOU are the light"
hugs you tightly ❤❤ we are all here for you ❤
@tryingtosurvive2024
Hi there,
So remember you are a child of God. God, like all good parents, may not like what you do but will always love you. The key is to ask for forgiveness whenever you feel you have not followed the path that God has tried to lay out for you. You are not bad- humans are flawed- God knows that. We make mistakes, a lot of them. God knows this- just do your best, treat everyone like your neighbor, and ask for forgiveness (real heart-felt forgiveness) when you make a mistake. It's all we can do.
@tryingtosurvive2024 If you consider yourself to be a "bad christian", may I ask what you consider would make one a "good" one? When Adam and Eve sinned, we lost our chance at perfection. Thus, we all inhabit sin. Still, every one of us living has potential for good and bad. We all fall short of his glory and he still loves us. Is God not a forgiving God? Does he not read our hearts? No matter how many good acts and deeds we do, we are still imperfect beings. Maybe we should just try our best to be our best version through imitating God. ♡ Give yourself some grace even on your not so good days. The fact part of you feels the way you do let's me know that you genuinely want to be better. Perhaps, you realize your potential and know you could do more. In whatever you do, continue drawing closer to God to build a deeper relationship. And remember, the good thing is you can always talk to God whenever you want. ♡ Please be kind to yourself. ♡ As for feeling envy of the christians who have the support of the church to help, I'm so sorry to hear that. I'm sure it may be nice to have that support, but remember everyone is on a different path and journey. Is there any churches around your area that teach based on your beliefs? Is there one that you feel that can be home to you? I do hope that your journey and relationship with God continues to grow and that you can forgive yourself and show yourself some kindness. ♡
@YourCaringConfidant Thank you for your encouragement. What you wrote me is way better than what I have ever gotten on a Christian Social Network, or Christian Forum.
I feel that that my biggest problem is lack of Christian Community. If you are willing, please for me and my parents in this regard. My Dad was a minister, but got burned by the Church. In fact, depending on how you would define "getting burned by the Church". He got burned 3 times before I was old enough to experience it myself. The 4th time, hurt all three of us.
We figured, that we would shop around for a Church and find some place that we could just fit in, and be normal attenders going to a small group. After trying 4 churches we discovered that doesn't appear to be the case.
I met a Woman at work who used to live in another state. She has been here for about 3 years. Her and Her husband haven't found a Church either. She told me that there is a problem with community. I don't think they have given up yet.
I just mentioned her, because at least I know someone else that is having trouble with finding a Church. She and Her husband at least, as some good friends they fellowship with. I don't have any good friends to fellowship with. I am frustrated about this. I don't understand what I did wrong to end up in the situation that I am in. When I say that to myself, a mean voice in my head reminds me of my learning disability and my stomach issues, that make getting out there more difficult. But still, I didn't do anything wrong to cause my former Church to implode. I didn't do anything wrong to cause all the small groups in another Church to tell us "Sorry we are full." I didn't do anything intentional that caused people in other Churches to look at me say "eh". I mean that is why I find myself on 7Cups. These issues gets to you. Then before you know it, your emotional pain turns into mental issues.
@tryingtosurvive2024 I empathize with you, I do. And it would be my honor to say a prayer for you and your parents. I'm sorry you're missing out on fellowship, but I wanted to say that I am happy you have the support of your parents. Keep in mind, you and your parents can become the church you seek. ♡
Hey dude, I went through the same thing. It took me about 2-3 years to find a true community and the right church. My biggest advice is to trust in God’s plan for you, even if it doesn’t make sense. Also don’t be afraid to keep trying and open up to new people. You will be disappointed and misled, I know I was multiple times. But I would go through it all over again to be where I’m at, and I truly thank God for it. Sending lots of love and prayers your way!
Hi there tryingtosurvive2024,
It's not even normal the way I can relate to this. One thing I'd say to you is that one of the main things about the Christian faith is the fact that we can't do it on our own. We can't be good on our own and we definitely can't find our own unit on our own.
One thing you could do is ask The Lord for mercy, both to help you and your short comings, and to connect you with your own community where you can be forged into who Christ wants you to be.
All my love. I am rooting for you.
John 9:1-3 NASB1995
[1] As He passed by, He saw a man blind from birth. [2] And His disciples asked Him, “Rabbi, who sinned, this man or his parents, that he would be born blind?” [3] Jesus answered, “It was neither that this man sinned, nor his parents; but it was so that the works of God might be displayed in him.
https://bible.com/bible/100/jhn.9.1-3.NASB1995
You are the way you are so that God's works would be displayed in you! When I got sick of wondering what is wrong with me and being frustrated that I couldn't be the kind of person I thought I needed to be, I gave up and handed it all to God. God wants all of you, especially the broken parts of you, so that He can do great things in you and with you. One thing He did with me was give me the clarity I needed to seek professional help. That's how I confirmed my suspicion that I had ADHD, and started finding ways to work with my brain and not against it.
God has wonderful plans for you and will bring you out of the darkness you're in, as long as you let Him.
My friend Kiara @jesusredeemedme is going to start a church thread soon. I hope it will be an encouragement to you and everyone else who joins.
Agree!
Can’t wait for the church thread
Should it be in the Religion and Spirituality forum? If so, maybe I can start it and just send people over there. I'm unable to copy and paste tags. I'm still kind of new around here.
@easyScarf7950 Christianity is both religious and spiritual.
@tryingtosurvive2024 and @RickAshley123 I did it! We have a Church! I didn't realize there was a Christianity subcommunity, so it's on the general religion and spirituality forum.
There is a religion and spirituality forum on here? I didn't know that but I searched for one on here before.
Hey.
You aren't "bad."
Thing is. When we were created, we were created human.
You're looking for something that isn't there. There is nothing wrong with you. God makes no mistakes.
"For all have sinned." We all make mistakes. We are all human.
You didn't do anything wrong.
And, Jesus is loving and kind. Meaning He doesn't control us or make our choices for us. He allows us to choose. And learn. He offers us guidance and strength, but ultimately, people make their own choices.
It can feel like He allowed it, because we think He is in control. But He doesn't control people. Control isn't love. "Why did God do this?" But. People make choices... and sometimes those choices hurt us or others. That's why Jesus asked forgiveness for those who hurt Him. "Father, forgive them..."
We are all humans and share common humanity. We were made that way. On purpose. To share and be together. We are all unique and different, but we all share that thread together, our humanity.
You're not alone.
@OhLookItsRay Thank you for your comment.
Thankfully in real life I have my parents. But other than that, I am alone and isolated. One of things my isolation bothers me is how I'm probably not effective at helping others. I once took test that said that I have the gift of helps.
One of my struggles is that I get angry with people for how they ignore me.
It's hard not to be attached to how others react to us. We act in a certain way and expect or hope for a certain response.
It won't always be like that. We won't always get the response we want, because people have their own stuff...
And feeling ignored or like we don't matter is a hard thing. But a lot of the time, people are just busy, or have a lot on their mind already. It's not a reflection on you or of your worth.
Anger is a secondary emotion. It is a cover for sadness. We get angry first, because we are hurt, and then when the anger fades, we can realize that hurt.
And people have to want help to receive it. They have to know they need it. And knowing you need help isn't always enough to accept it... sometimes things like fear and shame keep people from accepting help. I've been there.
@tryingtosurvive2024 Well, perhaps you must also consider the fact that according to the Bible, you were made in his image and liking. So the fact that you are flawed also comes from him. And if it comes from him, he would be totally okay with it.
For not all the Saints were saints to begin with: Remember St. Augustine and his philandering ways? That's one example. Remember Mary Magdalene? The p.r.o.s.t.itute? That's another example.
If they have been what they are and have managed to be mentioned in the litany of saints, I think what you need to remember that: they were all human beings. They were all flawed and God, such as you know him, went gently upon them.
Perhaps you would like to be gentle and kind and forgiving to yourself. For forgiveness starts with you. If you don't forgive yourself, not even God forgiving you---at your doorstep with pomp and circumstance and a thundering background score---would help you feel better about yourself.
So, my question to you is: Are you ready to forgive yourself? For if you are, God, such as He is, will as well.
@tryingtosurvive2024
Hello, I am sorry to hear you are struggling with shame and isolation-I know first hand these can be some of the hardest burdens to carry, and it sounds like you've been carrying this for quite a long time.
In this thread, you mention you and your family being burned by the church- can i ask more about that? figuring out what about certain communities hasn't worked may help you identify the ones that will welcome you with open arms as you deserve!
wishing you and your family well <3
@powerfulPapaya5589 I don't have the time to write that all out now. But I have been working on Church hurt story of what happened. It is currently 5 pages long!
@tryingtosurvive2024
That's wonderful! If you feel inclined to share when you're finished, I'm sure many would love to read it! It may even help other people who feel isolated by the church feel seen and less alone :')
Hey please don't beat yourself up. Being a Christian is not about religion, it's about a relationship with Christ. It's all about communication with Him. As a suggestion, it's best to spend more time with Him in communication (prayer) and mediation (being quiet/still) in your private space and He will talk to you.
As for finding a church community, you have to also spend time in learning which church that is Bible based that is suitable for you to learn and grow along with fellowship with others and that itself will take time. As a recommendation while you're on your journey to go on YouTube and check out Dr. Charles Stanley (SIP) Church sermons, they're very good, clear and provide the learning tools needed on your journey.
Hope this helps.
One thing is to know our Lord jesus yourself it’s a personal encounter that does not necessarily need Christian community. You have your bible to be your guide and also through prayer the holy spirit will shed more light. We all are here for you. God bless you