First Day Back at Work

@TransparentPuzzle

Just wanted you to know that anyone who experiences PTSD gets where and why it was such a hard day going back to work during this pandemic. The pandemic itself is traumatizing alone, add in PTSD, and having to wear a mask and I would have reacted the exact same way. It is not a sign of weakness or defect to have trauma symptoms in such adverse conditions. It is not a defect to experience trauma symptoms in situations that are not adverse either. It is a normal response to being deeply traumatized. Healing takes a lot of time, energy and self compassion for our struggling. Just wanted you to know you're not alone....

@adaptableLake3534 I needed to hear that, thank you. I don't know why, and this is the first time I'm admitting this anywhere but I always feel like people think I'm lying about how I feel to get attention and things like that. I know where it stems from, and it's from the people who were supposed to love and protect me brushing off my health and safety telling the authorities I just wanted attention and would "deal with me accordingly"

@TransparentPuzzle kudos to you for untangling some of the beliefs you were taught. Encouraging you to keep working on your recovery and self compassion.

@adaptableLake3534

PTSD has effected me for many years coupled with anxiety and depression. This has yet again destroyed my gay relationship and ending in heart ache. The love of my life left me before lockdown, he occasionally chats to me by text but I have lost someone so special to me. I have also worked throughout lockdown looking after people with learning difficulties. My relationship breakdown has left me experiencing a series of mental breakdowns that feel horrendous to go through. I try to pick myself up, but I can honestly say memories flood my mind and guilt brings me down.

@jKempy

Thank you for sharing. The symptoms of PTSD and grieving the loss of your most significant relationship would be very difficult to process and work through. I'm so sorry you're going through this. I liken the most challenging days of PTSD symptoms to feel like super storms that arrive unannounced and seemingly unprepared for (in my case at least). I'm learning to allow the emotions to flow through me and release them as they come in safe healthy ways and with safe people who understand PTSD e.g. therapist, healthy trusted friends, fellow survivors who are also recovering and trying to heal.. We can heal with self work and self compassion and safe people.

@adaptableLake3534

Thanks 😊

Since the breakup I have made changes to my lifestyle. I am working to get back on track and my life is starting to fill up with interesting activities: Like going back to college, reaching out to therapy and group chats, focusing more time on my recovery and stopping unhealthy habits. I do find that talking helps me to deal with the symptoms of PTSD. I also learnt something about myself: all the grief and heartache has made me want to seek a resolution ; digging deep into the world of human psychology has opened a door to a desire to find myself, become strong and to help others. There is nothing worse than feeling alone in the struggles of dealing with PTSD, anxiety and depression. I find the more you talk about the symptoms the easier it gets to accept them as a part of life and they become less of an issue. You can become you own worst enemy if you close your mind to the outside world. PTSD, anxiety and depression take charge and overwhelm you so much so you crumble in emotional pain. This pain is so intense, the worst ever I could describe, it stays with you for a long time and healing can take months, years or even decades in my case. I have learnt that you have to take charge of the path to recovery. I found that at times I was at war with myself: my thoughts and actions are arroused, panic sets in, depression hits you, memories start to hurt you and all you desire is to be at peace with yourself.

@jKempy

I didn't make the decision in the first several years to stay connected with others. It took me forever to reach out and obtain therapy as well. I isolated and still have strong tendencies to isolate but I've been working on it and slowly I'm working my way out of it but only with people who are emotionally safe. Your post was inspiring and helpful. Thank you. Keep going !!

@adaptableLake3534

Thank you 😊

@TransparentPuzzle

Love yourself, know your limits and allow healing to be freely available. . . Don't fight your thoughts, feeling and general wellbeing. Allow your body and mind time to adjust to the environment, take time to breath, focus on you but don't ever be ashamed of being you ; this only serves to make recovery harder; Be proud of yourself, you have made it this far with the power of self love and determination to turn your life around. Don't judge yourself - be the person you desire to be and walk the talk with self empowerment - you can do this, you can make this, you can see a route through the pain by making small changes in your thoughts and internal differences. Supercharge your wellbeing with positive self talk, boost you self esteem by accepting you have accomplished things. The mind is a beautiful place when you fill it with all the goodness it needs. Be your own best friend! Don

@TransparentPuzzle

I am sorry to hear about the trauma that you are currently suffering from. I can understand feeling embarrassed about the situation. I am glad to hear that your management team is understanding. Masks can definitely feel hard to breathe in and it can definitely be triggering for people with traumatic memories like yours. How can we offer you some support during this time?

@HopieRemi I think my support is y'all being here and taking the time to read my post and asking what you just asked. I'm still having to get used to having a support system that genuinely cares

@TransparentPuzzle

Well, I am glad that you have us! We definitely care that you are here and getting support.

@HopieRemi Just realized you actually also helped me indenting something. I didn't realize the way I felt afterwards was embarrassment because I've struggled identifying what I'm feeling and describing it accurately. I don't think the sentence "I'm embarrassed" has come from me my entire life... so thank you for that!!! 😊

Indentify* The one time autocorrect decides not to correct lol

@TransparentPuzzle

you are welcome! I am here to help after all!