COMPLEX POST TRAUMATIC STRESS DISORDER (CPTSD)
**This space is for Survivors of CPTSD. This is a safe space for Survivors to share with one another and seek support in a supportive and respectful environment.**
Many traumatic events (e.g., car accidents, natural disasters, etc.) are of time-limited duration. However, in some cases Survivors experience multiple traumas, that continue or is repeated over many months or years at a time. The current PTSD diagnosis does not fully capture the severe psychological harm that occurs with prolonged, repeated trauma. People who experience chronic trauma often report additional symptoms alongside formal PTSD symptoms, such as changes in their self-concept and the way they adapt to stressful events.
Complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (CPTSD) differs from Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) in that a traumatic event occurs multiple times over an extended period of time. Examples of CPTSD include:
*Concentration camps
*Prisoner of War camps
*Prostitution brothels
*Long-term domestic violence
*Long-term child physical abuse
*Long-term child sexual abuse
*Organized child exploitation rings
* Abduction/Kidnapping (including parental)
* Any form of neglect/abuse while in a situation where escape is not possible
An individual who experienced a prolonged period (months to years) of chronic victimization and complete control by another/others may also experience the following difficulties:
Emotional Regulation. May include persistent sadness, suicidal thoughts, explosive anger, or inhibited anger.
Consciousness. Includes forgetting traumatic events, reliving traumatic events, or having episodes in which one feels detached from one's mental processes or body (dissociation).
Self-Perception. May include helplessness, shame, guilt, stigma, and a sense of being completely different from other human beings.
Distorted Perceptions of the Perpetrator. Examples include attributing total power to the perpetrator, becoming preoccupied with the relationship to the perpetrator, or preoccupied with revenge.
Relations with Others. Examples include isolation, distrust, or a repeated search for a rescuer.
One's System of Meanings. May include a loss of sustaining faith or a sense of hopelessness and despair.
CPTSD Survivors are often diagnosed with Dissociative Identity Disorder (DID), DDNOS, and other dissociative disorders. Because people who experience chronic trauma often have additional symptoms not included in the PTSD diagnosis, clinicians may misdiagnose PTSD or only diagnose a personality disorder consistent with some symptoms, such as Borderline or Dependent Personality Disorder.
Chronic trauma survivors may experience any of the following difficulties:
Survivors may avoid thinking and talking about trauma-related topics because the feelings associated with the trauma are often overwhelming.
Survivors may use alcohol or other substances as a way to avoid and numb feelings and thoughts related to the trauma.
Survivors may engage in self-mutilation and other forms of self-harm.
Survivors who have been abused repeatedly are vulnerable to further exploitation and abuse, and can be unfairly blamed for the symptoms they experience as a result of victimization.
At 7cups, we are empathetic to your past experiences and your feelings as a CPTSD Survivor. Please use this space to share your CPTSD stories, feelings and support for others. (Please avoid being graphic or triggering.)
WE ARE HERE FOR YOU! 
edited by dancingRainbow45 06/04/2017 Additional information added
I wish c-PTSD was a formal DSM diagnosis. I think if it got more recognition there would be less misdiagnosis. I spent much of my adult life diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder. The symptoms made the diagnosis fit until the PTSD symptoms became more prevalent and then it became obvious I was dealing with c-PTSD because complex PTSD explained everything. But with the BPD diagnosis I was constantly mistreated when I was in crisis. Therapists and doctors told me I was being manipulative, not using my DBT skills, and acting out on purpose. In reality my dissociation got out of control and I was doing a lot of things uncharacteristic of me. I threw stuff at walls, I banged my head pretty hard, I kicked a hole in a wall, I fell to the ground in tantrums, and I didn't realize I was doing any of this until I was calmed down and felt safe again. Apparently the stuff going on in my life made me develop slight paranoia that made me feel unsafe and made my symptoms worse. Once they were able to treat the paranoia with a medication I gained control over my life again and haven't done any of those things. I still have issues with some dissociation into younger parts when I get triggered, but I haven't been losing complete control like I had been before. The misdiagnosis and mistreatment just made things worse and I know I'm not the only one who can say that and it's upsetting.
@InvaderStitch
Wow. Im sorry you went through that. Its difficult enough trying to recover. Im glad you found the right dx now and can get the right help and are doing slightly better.
I know what its like to feel mild paranoia and unsafe from certain triggers. I have anxiety and at work i have been getting triggered lately and feeling unsafe. It puts me on edge and i get jumpy at people approaching me to talk. I let out a small "Ah!" And jump! Even if i see them coming. Its really set me apart. Some people think its funny and try to scare me on purpose even though ive asked them not too. But it makes it worse and i get more jumpy and become paranoid, checking over my shoulder often.
I get irritated and feel so different and the facaude that i am ok and normal is getting thin. I cant afford to lose this job and the friends (actual friends) ive made. But you mentioned medication for paranoia and i havent thought about that before. When i am able to go back to treatments i will ask about that and if it will be right for me. I need to be able to function. So thank you for your open post.
I wish for you the dx was correct earlier on also. Would have saved you more necessary suffering. I was also treated improperly before i met a psychologist that used EMDR and had PTSD herself from abuse. It deffinately is an injustice and makes getting help harder. Again, im happy you have the right tools now =)
I finally found it!!
I just started com ing here a few days ago, and could not seem to find the thread on c-ptsd til just now!
Although i do not have a dx for cptsd, i do have a dx list almost as long as my arm, including ptsd. I didn't even know cptsd was a thing until i found this place. It made me feel a bit better about my situation (if that's possible) when i realized i really wasn't some massive mental case; that the other diagnoses are actually subsets of cptsd.
Currently i'm finding it impossibe to leave my house and am in terrible fits of anxiety, which has worstened with the revelation of the Jeffery Epstein case. I've been trying to find a face to face therapist, but with insurance the way it is and being virtually paralyzed by this anxiety, the money just isn't there for therapy even on 7cups, so i'm very glad there is support that is free! Thank you to all who help others and i hope i'll be able to help too, someday.
I don't know how much longer i'm going to be able to reach out for help like this because it's it .. well... i think you all might realize what it's like to reach out for help when your core being tells you ya cant trust anyone... ever...
I posted a request and am hoping for a long term listener soon.
I am so glad i finally found this thread, though.. and thankful for everyone in it
@BlueJene
I don't know how experienced you are on 7 cups, but with serious trauma issues it's very hard to find a listener that understands and can help. I suggest specifying you have c-ptsd in your request and not to blame it on yourself if the listener doesn't get what you need to feel safe, calm and reasonable. Good luck with your search ππππ
@GhostlyLilian
Yeah ..
I've not been here long and am starting to realize that I/We are very different and maybe even scary to others.
Thank you for confirming that for me..
And i know not to take it personally ..
I just wish i wasn't in these shoes..
and for now i'll keep trying..
Thanks ;)
@BlueJene
Hi Jene,
Have you had any luck finding a good listener yet? I am active around here on my member account, and I take chats on C-PTSD. If you like, check out my profile and see if you think I might be a good fit for you. I have my usual hours posted on there as well.
I'm really sorry to hear that you hadn't had much luck with listeners so far. I think it is probably true that not too many people are comfortable with trauma chats. I have been on the member end of that as well. I am glad to hear you know it's not personal though. I really think people have a hard time thinking about these topics. If they have to admit that bad things happen to good people, then they might have to consider the notion that it could happen to them too. It's too much for a lot of people to handle. Anyway, that's just my way of saying that it's about them, not you. And no one is bad, but it can take some time to find the right people to talk to.
Hope you're doing ok.
@BlueJene hey there. I was not officially dx for cptsd but I too exhibit all the symptoms of cptsd. I identify with what you are saying here. I remember feeling so triggered that I could not leave the house. Since Nov 2018, I have been working on recovery. I promise that it gets better. Slowly I started to want to socialize and exercise. I found eating a Paleo diet helped me feel better too. I go to therapy regularly and that helps too. Keep inviting help to come. Hang in there.
@BlueJene If money is an issue maybe the book: 'cptsd, from surviving to thriving' by Pete Walker is an option. It has a great program for reducing the symptoms of cptsd. There's also a lot of free info on his website.
Another free resource that really helped me was 'trauma sensitive yoga' videos on YouTube. I had read that yoga was more effective than even therapy in reducing symptoms. I was very sceptical but it has been a lifesaver. And it's free. I especially like the videos by 'the trauma-conscious yoga method'. The instructor is also a licensed psychotherapist.
Learning tai chi 24 form can also help reduce symptoms though I think it's a little less effective than yoga. But it's great to calm the mind. There's a whole free tutorial series by Ian Sinclair on YouTube.
Just those three cheap or free resources have done as much for me as therapy has. It did take more discipline to get started but the benefits have been so great I don't think I'll ever stop using these.
Just wanted to share :) Hope it helps.
@LuckyDucky79Thank-you in advising & sharing. Truly appreciate it.
@BlueJene I'm not entirely sure of your situation, however I have had similar issues with access to a counselor. I was lucky enough to come across a counselor in my area who offers a sliding fee based off of our income. My insurance has am insane deductable so finding a councilor able to see me for only $55 a visit was a godsend. If you haven't heard of this (I certainly hadn't) it can't hurt to try. Also some offer online visits especially now due to covid.
@AutumnLeigh
"Any form of neglect/abuse while in a situation where escape is not possible"
After my cancers consumed my resources I was forced to move back with my abusive parents...the little money I have I spend on alcohol...I became so depressed that I can no longer start my life again...the attacks are daily and incessant, every day is a hell in itself...they do not want to make any move for my freedom, so I just wait here...they harrassing me every single day hoping that I end before them, me trying to keep my sanity with my problems, my addiction and facing their attacks...my life no longer makes any sense or has any meaning, just daily suffering...
I was diagnosed with C-PTSD and I felt relieved because at least I get the answer of the problems I have been having. However, even after diagnosed and EMDR Therapy, it's still (perhaps) long way to go to heal. Since the trauma is complex and happened over and over, I think it changed how my (might be all the patients/victims too) brain works. And it's got worse now. It's difficult to reshape the life and the notion I have about myself and life in general.
I am new here. Here I am being instructed that i am safe & οΏ½that there is campassionate support for those like myself. However past experiences have taught me οΏ½ that for the most part people like myself are never truly allowed to open. Unless we water ourselves, our trauma's, down many will not hear, all to many refuse to believe, & silence is always best. οΏ½
In the following is the only way I have been able to describe my Hell.
οΏ½Only allowed to be as I was trained. How humanity treated me, trained me, prepared me as a soldier. No I never served in the US Armed Forces. There exists many other levels of a soldier. Just as well as there exists many different types of battles. Battles to be fought each second, each minute, each hour, each day. The idea is to win a war you already know you cannot win. Thus you settle into the battles until death comes calling your name & punch's your card. I am a soldier, trained since childhood like boot camp to graduate into full fledge battles at 18. Now I am just a really exhausted, worn out, beaten, soldier. Behind me lies the memories of burying two half brothers, a full blooded sister, a child, a fiancΓ©, & many others. The stench of death clings to me like a foul cologne. My past is a waste land of heavy loss, death, drowning grief, rage, pain, & such. Though I am not allowed to share the truth of my story. Always must keep silent & when sharing having learned that all to many cannot handle the 100 percent me, I have had to learn how to water down my story, place it in Readers Digest form for others to be able to accept it. Thus this is my fate. A silent soldier, that will one day die with a silent story.
Edited by Asher, 6/18/21
I do not have a diagnosis of Cptsd. But I have all the symptoms. There is only one real physical traumatic incident when I was repeatedly hit with a heavy object by my spouse, about 8 weeks ago... that seems to count as trauma. She hit herself first, repeatedly and said, 'you did this' , tore my shirt, then tore hers, saying 'you did this' . I have specs with - 5.5 and - 5.75 power and when they got thrown away, I felt terrified not seeing properly and when I got her hand I bit it and hit back but gently, just to let them know I will respond in kind if you lay a hand upon me. So I don't know what all this counts as, - I am labelled as the perpetrator, have been labelled as creating problems for months or years. But emotional abuse, gaslighting and manipulation has happened often in the past few months, and things had been going south for years. I tried everything I could to help, put my heart and soul into child care, literally wrote her masters dissertation for her, did a lot of household chores, supported career choices she made as much as I could, and tried to be supportive even when she got fired. Being a male, I am unable to find sources of help where I live. I tried a therapist and a psychiatrist... Both are going the family therapy way., to solve those issues. Marriage is universal where I live and it seems people want to uphold that at all costs. My kids saw the violence and I want them to know that physical violence is never normal. But my spouse ignores the incident and mentioned that it was the normal response at that time. I informed my mother too but she kind of approaches it as though it never happened. All this is messing up my already messed up head- I am a main carer of a sibling with severe disability, or I was till I entered this marriage 10 years ago. I still retain my deep bond with my sibling, but am unable to spend much time, being a husband, dad of two and the almost exclusively bread earner. My childhood was one of chronic neglect as I became a carer before I was 10. My dad blamed every one around when my sibling became sick or had convulsions. Last month when my sib who is now 38 had a bad bout of fits., I held him close and safe but felt terrible that I am going to be blamed for it. That's been my life as a carer. Physically my disc prolapsed 7 years ago, but my parents are pretty nonchalant when it comes to lifting and moving my bedridden sib., whenever I am with him these days. Paid care is unaffordable for us, so we manage somehow with local folks and household help. I don't know if all this is appropriate here.. I think I got here after hitting other dead ends when trying to share what I am going through. So thank you for bearing with my ranting.
I think I posted this in the wrong place. Sorry. I am not sure how that happened
@optimisticFarm9295 Your experience is unique. We can explore the details and through sharing the healing will begin.
@4DarkSouls
Humanity summed up like ive never seen before. Your realism and writting style keep points clear about mortality. I often must try to go through the motions and try more to be optomistic.
Youre a great writter!
Blessings, Day
I undetstand and ty for posting
@4DarkSouls
@4DarkSouls
I so feel you with being a silent soldier, living a live you can not speak about and have to remain silent, as most everyone would never be able to understand, comprehend, and handle even a smaller part of what you 've been through. I feel the exact way and thus, I keep as quiet about everything as possible.
You are so right in choosing a "soldier" for the word for life like this. Yes, it is just fighting battle after battle to try to keep surviving. I get all you have said more than you know.
Hello. I am new here. Trying to navigate the posts, im not used to this format.
I am 42 and have 3 children the youngest being 17 and still at home. I work full time -after several years of therapy-
I have PTSD from childhood and 2 marriages. My mother was a narcissist and my first husband was a psychopath, the second a sociopath. My experiences were physical, finacial, verbal, sexual, and mostly mental abuses.
Ive been divorced for 5 years and did some EMDR sessions that helped a lot. But i no longer have insurance. I need a net work. Hope i can find one here. I hope i can also be helpful to someone else.
I have major depressive dis, general anxiety dis, ADD, PTSD, and possible BiPolar 2.(without mania).
I dont prefer to ruminate about my experiences unless the memory is being pervasive and i cant help to repeat it in here. Im all about trying to function again as normally as possible. Finding it difficult at times. Getting triggered at work.
Happy to be here so far and hoping to figure out how to use the threads properly lol.
@turquoiseAcres4830
You have been thru a lot. I also am very guarded, won't hardly ever discuss my years of physical, sexual, and emotional abuse and trauma. I just can't, even after decades. Fort Refuge has helped a lot for me. It good to realize others can understand and relate, which is unheard of.
@turquoiseAcres4830 Your trauma is real and it is unique to you. EMDR is highly effective. There are many resources out there where you can practice this work yourself. Please tell me what you need so that I can continue to assist you in your healing journey. If you are unsure of what you may need. I am here to listen and support you while you process your experiences.
Tw: child abuse, bullying, and cynical views of love
Wazzaaaaappp I straight up survived two decades worth of child abuse and social ostrisization n now I'm incapable of love and I'm constantly secretly filled with rage which I feel guilty for so I feel the constant responsibility to protect others from myself. My ma always told me "Go away, all you do is spread hatred and discontent" and my father would lock me outside in 100+ degree weather in elementary school whenever I did anything that made him angry while he'd tell me how lucky I was that had them cause anyone else would've killed a brat like me haha. Kids used to throw rocks at me at school n chase me through the church hallways with a knife durin after school activities and I've never really had friends at all. My first best friend pulled a gun on me and threw bullets as he screamed about how much he wanted to shoot me lol. I break everyone I touch and there's never been anyone who has ever missed me because I'm an emotional parasite Β―\_(γ)_/Β―. My birthright is to cause irreversible anguish to those who are around me too long, something I inherited from my father. My parents reviled me because I was a problem and an embarrassment that they couldn't dispose of without it reflecting poorly on them and as punishment I never received the affection and touch that my younger siblings did. They both laughed and pointed at me when I cried in front of them for the first time in years and when I ran they hunted me down and tried to shove me into the car slamming my head into the edge of the door. I remember seeing stars as I heard my father scream at me how horribly selfish I was to do this to my mother haha :]. My father is a very large man, over 6'6, and has always used this to his advantage, I remember when I made him so angry that he knocked my bedroom door off it's hinges while running at me. He threw me at the stairs once he got his grip on me as my mother watched. I called out to her. She called me a liar. I've never experienced real love which I think is much rarer than folks would like to believe because they all cling to false replacements to avoid being alone. Because I have never had a chance to love and be loved and to trust I don't know how and am incapable of love. The long term effects of my trauma have destroyed me and it would be selfish to try to hold onto friends or have any relationship because I know that other people capable of love are deserving of those who can do the same. To condem someone to a loveless rapport with me would be infinitely crueler than simply just letting them go. Everyone disappoints me and I disappoint everyone. It's my responsibility to keep my urges in check to protect those around me. But christ is it isolating. Haha. :)
I have PTSD-C due to traumatic childhood. Some days are better than the other, what can I say :) I just wish I was able to trust and make friends, to create and keep boundaries. I do meditate twice a day to cope, I like yoga and walking my dog. Let's stay unite, dear trauma survivors! And let's do our best to thrive!
how do I know if I have just PTSD or PTSD-C?
@Rebekahwriter13
Youtube has a great description of what you're looking for. Look up:
Fortress Tutorial 1: New Maps, New Solutions by Richard Grannon
(Depression, anxiety, dissociation, addiction and anger management are described as a cluster of symptoms that have deeper reasons. He talks about the 4 F's, flashbacks and what CPTSD is and who coined the term at 11 minutes into the video)
and Fortress Tutorial 2: The REAL cause of mental health problems (CPTSD Richard Grannon)
In the 2nd tutorial he explains the difference between PTSD and CPTSD
Richard Grannon had lots of helpful videos for working on CPTSD
@amiableBeing8117 Thank you. I will have to check it out.
I just noticed that my therapists have worked more on my depression that my PTSD (maybe it's complex)
@Rebekahwriter13
The explanations and help he offers for free is amazing.
I have spent years in therapy and never got the help or clarity like I have found while watching his videos and using his suggestions. There are tons of his videos out there and I understand now why the depression and anxiety are all tied in together, as well as other symptoms. He says it is labeled complex for a reason.
Let me know how it goes. Good luck.
I'm new here not sure if I'm doing this correctly, but I'm suffering unbelievably with CPTSD,MDD and debilitating anxiety. I see a therapist but I am struggling. I have been trying for almost 3 years to dig thru all my abuse and loss and accept it and live my life. But I can't work, I left my job last year because of my mental state. I lost all of my work connections and covid was icing on the cake so to speak. I don't have a good support system and how can I expect anyone to understand me if they haven't experienced CPtsd rollercoaster and all that goes with it. I have been charting my down days. At least 3 days a week I cannot function. It used to be 7 days a week so I'm making some progress but I have never felt sooooo alone in my life. I'm over 55 so my kids are grown. My hubs is good guy but has no idea what's involved with this debilitating condition. I need a purpose but I can't commit to anything consistently. When the rollercoaster hits and I never know when I'm just a wreck and cannot stop crying. I feel like my purpose is done and my life is over and all I'm doing is barely breathing and trying to survive . Ppl scare me I've been severely abused for the first 20 years of my life, sexually assaulted later on in life and bullied badly at my job. I spend a ton of time reading and doing art projects but I'm alone alot, too much. This is so hard, I'm not young enough to just get over it, bounce back up and function. I had some health stuff among other life problems in all this too. I think I just hit a wall after my assault and I crashed . Now I'm struggling to fix myself. The pain is what's getting to me. That horrible pit of empty pain in my gut. Sorry such a long story. Suggestions are welcome. Hope I did this correctly and didn't trigger anyone.... ABB
@amiableBlackberry92
I feel you. I've made so much progress, but still not functioning. Never been able to work. I'm "just" 25 but so frustrated with not being able to achieve a thing, not even things I like or I would do for fun. And I keep fighting the thought it's not c-PTSD, maybe I don't even have it, there's just something wrong with me, I'm just incapable and I always have been. How do I not believe this?
I'm so sorry for all the things you went through and for how they affected you. You didn't deserve any of that and it's so.. not right. Unfair, nonsense. Keep believing the down moment will pass, and when it does, do EVERYTHING you couldn't earlier, and enjoy it. Enjoy life, as much as you can. Get surprised, get happy moments, discover things, enjoy them π€
Dear Ghostly, thx for your supportive response. I feel defective in some way. It's a tough diagnosis and tougher facing all the horror that caused it, why I have it. Impossible for ppl to understand that have no such experience. I'm trying to pull my self up. You are so lucky to be so young you have excellent chances of forming an amazing life, you have time...precious valuable. At my age I just feel useless unneeded, having real difficulty accepting aging and becoming invisible on top of all my mental challenges. I'm afraid I'll just spend the rest of my days trying to fix it all and I'm soooo sad. I wasted so much time prior to my assault people pleasing everyone trying to find the acceptance and love I didn't get as a child. Trying to forgive myself for faking everything. Ugh. Thx for listening. ABB
@amiableBlackberry92
You are not useless, nor too old. That's what ageing is for: gaining experience. If I was born with the knowledge I have now, I probably wouldn't even be traumatized. I would have managed and/or recognised and avoided so many situations. Nowadays, as a person gets older, it's perceived as less and less valuable. Instead, if someone invest their time in personal growth, they grow in worth and potential until their very last day (fuck canonic achievements, really. They're mostly just material stuff that means nothing). I think the most important thing you can do is try and find peace within yourself, even if you're not "fixed". Feeling enough, accepting yourself as you are in this very moment. And yes, things can improve blah blah blah, but you don't need to fix everything to be worthy of peace, love and acceptance. It's ok to be struggling, it's ok to have limits, it's ok not to have everything fixed. Fuck that. I mean most animals are dead at my age, what else do I have to achieve? How much "more" I should be? Where do I have to get and why? Who decided that?
Ultimately I think that the most important things are f those that feel good, and feeling good. Life is not bad or good, life has "things" and we have a brain. And we can try and do something good of those things using our brain. The more things that feel good you spread, the better the world is. And no one's too old to do good. The rest is just society standards, burocracy and humans making their life more complicated than needed.
I'm not making it simple, I too have very bad moments where I feel a burden, not enough and everything in spite of all those nice words. But realising they feel true for me makes it simpler to have faith those are just ptsd moments, feelings and fears engraved in my head by people who didn't get what is really important in life, and they shall pass
I have complex PTSD, DID, problems with attachment, and Bipolar.
Today, I was yet again fired by a threapist, for no other reason given trough text messages (not on here) other than they feel we are not a good suit for each other. My alters did write a very small post to them about how they were scared about some of the years of abuse and what had triggered them and how they felt about it. I belive as soon as this therapist, a trauma and abuse therapist, saw that my alters had written a brief few lines to her in a text message, that she thus fired me the next day, today. I've been fired from 4 therapists in the past month and most don't want to deal with people who also have DID. None of my alters have ever been disrespectful or mean to any therapist either. I know this to be a fact. One therapist got mad because some of them were sometimes unhappy with me, the host personality. That was all they got upset about. It's getting hard
@Amelia2324
I'm so sorry! Yes, dealing with someone who has DID without first hand experience requires a lot of empathy and not everyone has that, but dismissing someone like that?! They should discuss it with you and refer you to someone else instead of leaving you alone like that! I'm so sorry to hear this!
I kind of understand how you might feel. I too was hard to deal with for a lot of professionals and felt so lonely, let down and possibly wrong. Further along in my recovery I understood it's like a math problem. We are very difficult math problems that not every mathematic understands, even if they work in the feald. And it's not our fault, we did nothing wrong, we have the bad luck to be very difficult math problems. Some people are regular algebric calculations and pretty much anyone that has studied a little maths can work with them, some are for more skilled professionals, we need a pro. And many attempts to find it. Many won't be good enough for us. It's them, not you.
Oh, and there's nothing to be mad about alters' feelings. It's actually great that they discuss about them.
Hugs and best wishes
