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IcedCoffee211109
12,157 M Pacing Forward 7
PathStep 20 Compassion hearts1,270 Forum posts103 Forum upvotes84 Current upvotes84 Age GroupAdult Last activeMay, 2022 Member sinceNovember 8, 2021
Bio

I like to be good to people, listen to others, but I do have a lot of anxiety and stress.  It is very hard for me to talk about myself. 
























Recent forum posts
Busybody so called friend spread all kind of misinformation
Trauma Support / by IcedCoffee211109
Last post
 April 27th, 2022
...See more It's enough in life with real problems to deal with. I have had a newer friend the past 7 months. I have found out how much damage they have really been doing behind my back the whole time. I haven't dealt with this kind of crud since I was young. It's shocking They are a total busybody. They have all this time, been gathering information, details, etc, about me, us, our life, and then in turn spreading around all kinds of misinformation especially regarding DID related things to a whole lot of people I have known and not had any problems with--until miss busybody enters in the picture. Some of the things I have been hearing back from good friends have been shocking. Thank goodness for some of my good friends 💚. It's funny because for a while, this busybody person kept pushing me to do this.... and that I should read this certain book, because they knew a person before with DID, who they seem to think knows everything and I should do what the person they know says, read the book the person they know says I should read, etc. But miss busybody has gone around to all well most all of my friends that they can find that will listen to them and have given them a whole pile of crap of told Miss information that is so inaccurate about me and it is just messed up so much in my life. It was not their place to do this nor they're right to do this. I am not a child nor am I their child nor have I asked for their help nor their advice on anything. They don't even know anything about dissociation or DID. When I first met them all they knew was they had met a friend who had DID, who had been kind enough to offer their therapy appointment to them when they had really needed a therapy appointment so they thought this was a great person. That was their whole basis on how this person is a great person and knows everything is that they gave a therapy appointment to them. But in this busy bodies wisdom they have gone around and told everyone a pile of untruthful crap about me and I've decided to not speak about myself to them and have been trying to help them and have found out just how very unstable they actually are themselves. I have found they are doing this to everyone in their life not just me and I feel sorry for everyone else in their life that they are doing this to including their own family members who cannot get away from them. They have ruined a lot of people's lives, I have found out. I have been not speaking of any of my details other than minor generic things to them. I did mention laying on the floor the other night trying to plug something into the bed and extension cord that ran part of the bed controls. No telling how that even got misconstrued and told all around with them. But I've continued to try to help them as they are very unstable and could probably be institutionalized if someone felt so. They're thinking is very off face and so unclear but they will live their life is their own choice and I am not going to interfere but I've been trying to help and be there for them and not give them any of my own information as I have found what happens with it. For an example they sent me a text the other night at 11:24 p.m. in distress over a situation. I saw it as I just got out of the shower and read it. I said I better think about this with this person and I did so and took my time and did what I needed to and then I replied about an hour and a half later to them and hope they were asleep by then and they were. When I woke up the next morning I woke up to a text from them with all kind of praise this and praise that and oh wonderful this and how wonderful I did and texted him and understood and new and just all kind of crud like that. That was nice if it would have been helpful and stop there. But not with them that it's not possible. They proceeded to then forward the text to person one then person to in person 3 and so on and then tell each person what they should do based on what I said in the text and I wasn't saying anything bad in the text and I wasn't speaking bad about anyone in the text at all. In this text I was only being supportive of the person who is a busy body that is unstable that needed help coping with the situation and I was speaking to them in the text explaining things and a supportive and a more therapeutic way like a therapist would and I did so in that kind of manner speaking to them in a helpful way. They evidently found it so helpful that they thought other people should adopt this type of behavior and proceeded to tell person one person two person three etc all that they farted to and the ones they literally took it to for them to read and tell and explain how things should be and how they ought to be and how they ought to act and how they are to think etc etc. This is just a minor example of this person's type of thinking and behavior for just a simple text of trying to be supportive of them in a time of distress to help them out with this situation they were trying to cope with not for them to run around and then use until other people how to run their own life in their own thinking but it is their way of how they act and behave and think. I did some thinking after miss busybody then told me about how proud they were about this act of sharing this text that I had tried to be supportive of them and how they had went around and done all this with these other people with it blah blah blah. And this is the same Miss busybody who in the meantime has been destroying my life on purpose with people I have known for decades and doing it on purpose and asking for even accurate names of people so they can be friends with them and give them information and give them details that are inaccurate but it's probably accurate in their mind in the way they think but it's their thinking in their mind that is so off and they really can't help it and but they think they're doing a good job I believe but it's your thinking in their mind is so off but they don't seem to realize this or know this. They do need a lot of help and a lot of mental Health and psychological help. I can spend the rest of my life helping them and I don't think that would ever be enough and they need a lot of professional help and do have professional help and have been getting professional help for decades. They tried to kill yourself many times I've been have been hospitalized many times this is a person that does have serious psychological problems. This is nothing I'm making up but I've been just trying to be kind and helpful to them. But within going out of their way so much to do what they've done to so many of my friends that there was no problem whatsoever before they entered the picture a little over half a year ago and they and her husband came into the picture and husband there is no problem with but the wife she has a lot of problems but I guess she's just going to keep having problems but I think I'm just going to limit my contact to her only in front of groups when she happens to be around and I have to be around in the same group and it just happens to be we see each other there. I thought about this last night and with everything she's done and all the harm and all the people that have contacted me and now you don't want anything to do with me now for no reason when I'm reaching out to them trying to for example be supportive of of them before they have operations medically be supportive of them when they've been hurt physically at a job be supportive of them for other things etc and now there's just a problem out of the blue and then other friends I've known for decades have told me things oh I've heard blah blah blah and then other friends I've had for a few years have told me oh miss busybody said blah blah blah I didn't know oh. I don't go into details I just have decided that I'm going to do something about the situation. I've decided to sever contact with Miss busybody and not help Miss busybody any longer as Miss busybody is destroying my life on purpose and seeking out more and more people and seeking out everyone that she can find that I know and seeking out to tell them any and all details and it's all inaccurate in misinformation because things were so screwed up in her head and her thinking that she can't get it right so she means maybe well I don't know but it's not a good situation. Last night I decided I just didn't need this in my life and I have enough real problems and I can deal with helping real people that really want help and don't want and don't need to go out of their way and cause problems for me on purpose and that will be fine. So I have blocked every kind of message of contact with Miss busybody for now I do have contact with Miss busybody at one location where is a group that we meet it's not a mental health for psychological Group no it's a different kind but when I get back there when I get my migraine noise canceling headphones and get back there I would just be nice and courteous and kind to miss busybody but yeah I will stay in front of others and keep it cordial and nice to miss busybody but stay in front of others with her and not be on the sidebar are not pulled away from others with her. Until then and after then I will have no contact with Miss busybody. I have enough real problems in my life and have had enough very real serious problems in my life and I don't need made up fictitious childish problems in my life creating hevoc over crud that is not even real to start with. It's really a shame cuz Miss busybody goes around preaching the gospel about how everybody ought to act and how everybody ought to do this and that and how everybody ought to behave blah blah blah and then here is Miss busybody doing all this to really everybody but we all live and learn and find out our own miss busy bodies in our lives all the time and there are plenty of them. My busy buddy in my life this time just happens to be centered on my DID and some other things she could find to spread about my life to other people that were private. If I had wanted my life and my private things spread I could have done that and been doing that for years but it's my own fault for speaking to miss busybody and my own fault for opening my mouth to miss busybody and I will live with the consequences of this. I've decided to deal with what this busy body is done with the other people who actually believe some of Miss busy buddies crud by just giving it time and showing them by example that what this busybody is actually told them it's really not the truth and really is inaccurate and everything was fine before Mrs busy body and maybe with some time and may continuing to be nice to them supportive kind generally caring about him just as I was and continuing on like that then maybe they will see Miss busybody for what she is and what reality really is. There's no use trying to go around and question everybody and find out what Mrs busy busybody said to them about this or that blah blah blah and try to go counteract it and tell them well that's not true blah blah blah because that would make me look like some stupid blabbing idiot so I'm just going to give it time and so everybody by example and do what's right and let Miss busybody go on about her own life doing what she's always been doing for decades and she will just keep doing it and I'm going to go on doing what I'm doing and being kind and helpful to people and let what's done be done and those who want to be friends will be friends and I will be nice and treat people the best I can and be good to them and those who really know me will be all right with it. I have learned my lesson and I hope those who continue to have contact with Mrs busybody learn their lesson too but if they don't they will in time. They're brought plenty of his busy bodies in this world but this one just seems fascinated with DID as many people are and I'm used to that and it's no big deal but it's a shame for it to be used in such hurtful and harmful ways in such a purposeful hateful Way by someone who claims to live and tell people how to live such a wonderful truthful rightful life really so backward. But it's a good lesson for me and I'm thankful for it and I'm glad to see it on this end and learn it learn about it and know about it and glad to be on this side and not be mad and upset just happy to be away from it and decided that I'm going to go on just be good to everyone and not be involved with Miss busybody no matter how much help Miss busybody needs cuz she's going to keep needing a whole lot of help. So many people are fascinated by DID, but Mercy I've never seen or dealt with someone try to use it to hurt me and R Us and such harmful ways and go out of their way to cause such harm and all my life and to you such effort to go out of their way to cause such harm I mean I would hate to go into all the examples but it's just such great effort to cause such great harm and I know y'all would love to hear all the juicy details but it's just it's pathetic but it's by a person who is mentally unstable and really has problems and I think that's the basis of it all so I will pray and hope they do get help and get better.
Community Calendar use for proper results
Newbie Hub / by IcedCoffee211109
Last post
 November 26th, 2021
...See more How do you filter or define criteria effectively on the community calendar to be able to find a selection of results related to what you are searching for????? For example: If I search by adult, it pulls up and lists about 95% listener events/rooms/results. If I search with no criteria, it lists also a ton of teen things and also listener things. If I search by a particular community room, sometimes you can get no results. I am assuming this is because there may not be an event or room opening for the community you are searching for from the search criteria period. How do you search for many things you want? How do you, as a member, keep it from filling up with tons of listener events/meetings/rooms? Also, disability will usually pull up under "adult" for a search and tons of listener results but pretty much nothing else. Is there a way to NOT have listener results fill up the results???? I have tried using NOT listener, but the search engine or whatever is used still associates with the word listener and you get the same...... Please tell me the best ways to search using your community calendar so I may search for what I want, when I want. Thank you
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