I Didn't Put It On My Work Form...
While filling out forms for my (first!) job as a Starbucks barista I put "prefer not to answer" on disability forms that included ptsd, ocd, depression etc not because I'm ashamed, but I don't have a written diagnosis even though I've been treated. I didn't think it would interfere since I recieve therapy and other appointments regularly, but I ran into someone who looked very similar to someone who I have a strong trauma connection to. I hadn't had flashbacks for a while but I got really dizzy and thankfully didn't faint, but I'm starting to wonder what happens if/when I can't manage it? What do I tell my boss?
@katiaclaire Hey Katia. It must be very hard to feel safe enough to share that information whilst applying for a new job. There are some things you could consider. If you know what some of your triggers are, there are some resources in the Trauma Resources section of the forums on how to cope with triggers and flashbacks and it may be useful to take a look at these and start practising them, just in case the situation occurs in your new workplace where you could be triggered. Its useful to practise these in times you dont need to drawn upon the techniques so it becomes easier to call upon them when needed. The other thing to consider is whether you could feel safe enough to share with your boss enough for them to know you struggle in certain areas so that if needed they may be able to offer you support, though are working on these, or whether you would prefer to say nothing. I wish you luck in whatever you decide :)
@dancingRainbow45 @diandros @hoxenos
Thank you all for the support and advice, you've truly warmed my heart!
@katiaclaire
Hi there Katia,
Congrats on the job! And sorry that it's now worrying you. Those parts of the form are mostly for hiring purposes I think, being equal opportunity employment and such. I know that just the other day I stuttered over the same check box. I find that in any survey or what have you that asks anything that could even slightly have to do with my trauma, I know I pause over it. Do you think that because of associating your trauma with your work in that way, it could have made you a bit more vulnerable? Do you think that the more comfortable you get at work, the better you will feel? Whether you want to talk about what happened with an employer or not is completely up to you. I know that I have told some employers and not others. I told one manager because we had big crowds one day and I asked to never be scheduled on event days like that again.
I think that at the end of the day, you know you best. Think critically about some questions. Do you want to tell them? Will it help you? Will you feel supported? Do you want to wait until you know them better or not? Make sure you take care of yourself and do what feels right for you. There's no right answer, but rather what's the best answer for you.
@katiaclaire
Sounds like you've been through a lot, I'm proud of you for pulling through this far! As for that question, I believe your employer doesn't even get that information; it poofs along to some database that they report so that they don't appear as if they don't hire people who are disabled, so they don't appear to be discriminatory. If you feel you can't manage it and need to bring it up, perhaps when you're comfortable discussing it with your boss would be worth it. That's something I can't really tell you, but typically larger chains follow more employee-friendly standards because it's previously been brought to corporate's attention to acknowledge, even though we've a long way to go. Maybe even online you can find what the policy is for personal days.
