Understanding the types of Dissociation

This post will explain the diagnostic crieteria for different types of dissociation, how dissociation feels for those experiencing it and why it happens from a survival perspective. Disclaimer: Please remember I am 1 system and the way you experience it may be different. I would love it if you would share your experiences too.

The simplest way to explain Dissociation is a disconnect from the present moment. It is a survival technique that is part of the freeze response to danger. When we cannot get away or fight, our mind is taken offline. Brain resources for things like digestion, reproduction & memory processing are redirected so that our body can focus on keeping alive.

Dissociation is a normal response to stress

Everyone in the population experiences dissociation but some of us who have been through trauma will experience ‘more’ dissociation. The most common is when our mind switches to autopilot or daydreaming.

Imagine you are driving home. You remember getting into the car and then you are home but you don’t remember details of the journey. This is a mild form of dissociation where the sense of time passing and memory is lost.

Another common form is daydreaming. You are ‘on another planet’, ‘miles away’ thinking about something far more relevant to you at that moment than the mundane or the boring lecture, class or watching the clock at work avoiding the report you have to submit later.

When dissociation becomes our first response to stress, it can cause us to develop a dissociative disorder.

Depersonalisation

Depersonalisation is when you experience a disconnect from yourself. This can be

physical or emotional.

- A physical disconnect can feel like you are without a body or are floating over yourself watching down. This happens because the brain temporarily loses track of where your body is positioned in the world. Our brain disconnects from the body when it is experiencing trauma, allowing other survival functions of the brain to take over.

It can be difficult to live with, we often burn ourselves cooking, bump into things or fall over. Functionally it can feel like we are drunk, stumbling around and not really in control.

- An emotional disconnect feels like we have stepped back inside and are witnessing ourselves in the third person. We might observe our emotions but not connect with them. It can make it more difficult to know what emotions or boundaries belong to us or other people.

Derealisation

Derealisation is a disconnect from our surroundings. It may feel as if the world is too real or not real at all. You might see objects changing in shape, size, colour or changes in other sensory perceptions. Subjective distortion of the world is common in derealisation.

- Alternatively it may feel not real like a dampening down of sensations or feel as if people around us aren’t real. This can be experienced as being in a dream state, a fog or as if a glass wall/veil separates us from our surroundings. The world seems lifeless, colorless, or artificial. Objects may appear blurry, flat or smaller than they are. Sounds can feel softer or absent and time might feel like it is moving slowly.

The first time we experienced this was after our diagnosis. I felt like I was walking around in a bubble, everything was without colour and I didn’t feel like a real person.

Dissociative Amnesia

Dissociative Amnesia can take many forms. Psychologists usually break this down into 4 categories.

- Localised amnesia is when all details of an event or period are missing in your conscious memory. This may happen during stressful periods or events in your life, or in DID/OSDD when other parts come out and have control of the body without the consciousness of other parts.

- Selective amnesia is where some details of an event or period are missing. As before this can be to ‘hold’ certain distressing information or where parts are holding certain aspects of events. Sometimes this can result in parts thinking they remember something that happened, but being confused about conflicting information that another part holds. For us we had parts that were aware of ‘good’ mummy and those that only remember ‘bad’ mummy.

- Systematised amnesia occurs where there is a category of memory missing, or all information about a specific person. In DID/OSDD a part or parts might hold all memories of a person or for example all sexual abuse encounters. You may have a part that comes out to deal with all sexual activity to save the other parts of you from feeling distress. Another example might be where you cannot recall someone significant. This could be forgetting about a family member who has passed away and cannot recall what they looked like, or who they were.

- Continuous amnesia is where new events occur but are perpetually forgotten.

Dissociative Fugue

Dissociative Fugue is an extreme state of dissociative amnesia where people lose some or all memories of their past, and can disappear from their usual environments.

A dissociative fugue may last from hours to months. During the fugue, people may appear and act normal or appear only mildly confused. When the fugue ends, people suddenly find themselves in a new situation with no memory of how they came to be there or what they have been doing. At this point, many people feel ashamed or upset that they cannot remember what happened. Some people are frightened. If they are confused, they may come to the attention of medical or legal authorities.

After the fugue ends, many people remember their past identity and life up to when the fugue began. However, for others, remembering takes longer and occurs more gradually. Some people never remember parts of their past. A very few people remember nothing or almost nothing about their past for the rest of their life.

I experience Fugue state when I am extremely stressed. I often find myself wandering around the local park freezing cold and lost about 4 hours. It is different from switching for me, I’m ‘not myself’ but I’m not another part either. My memory is gone and it takes someone prompting me with small details to ‘bring me back’ and regain my memory.

Identity Alteration/Switching

Identity Alteration/Switching is a form of dissociation where the brain has developed more than one personality state. The brain can shift or switch between these states depending on internal or external triggers.

Parts can range from fragments who hold emotion/sensory or part of a memory to fully developed parts with names, ages, backstories and life experiences.

References:

https://www.msdmanuals.com/en-gb/professional/psychiatric-disorders/dissociative-disorders/depersonalization-derealization-disorder

https://www.msdmanuals.com/en-gb/professional/psychiatric-disorders/dissociative-disorders/dissociative-amnesia

https://www.msdmanuals.com/en-gb/home/mental-health-disorders/dissociative-disorders/dissociative-fugue

https://did-research.org/comorbid/dd/osdd_udd/did_osd